Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 today is a time that i would not normally post, but someone suggested i do so anyway. i am so angry and i cannot even see forgiveness as a reality for me now...even though logically and rationally i know i should, for myself if nothing else. i feel like such an evil person for the feelings i am feeling...i hate my landlord, and i should not hate anyone...i know this. then i get all worked up because i don't want to feel the way i feel, but i can't seem to put things in a calm or logical perspective. i tell myself it is ok, because karma will come to him but i am still so upset. my parents are friends of his and to say just ignore it and don't talk to him and just let it go....but they don't understand that when i am called derogatory names and threatened i stick up to defend myself and they basically want me to be a doormat. i want to move, i have been trying for 2 years now, but my husband doesn't want to just yet. i don't get much of a say since i am a sahm and do not bring in an income so i feel trapped. i will have to deal with this poor of an excuse of a human tomorrow and i really need to get my mind straight so i don't fly off the handle. i'm sorry if this isn't appropriate for the board but i thought it would be ok since i am trying to come to terms of forgivings and emotional blockages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Let your rage explode Brandy. Let it out. It isn't doing you any great service by bottling it up inside of you. So let it out. But not on another person. Go to a place where you can be private and let it go! Cry scream and shout. Take something you can kick or throw or beat up on. And as you are doing this take a look and feel where there are places that can be dealt with without the rage. Try for a realization that even though this person is mistreating you they are still a child. Like one of your kids. See them as a kid that you can forgive for the mistakes they make and this includes your parents. What is a sahm? As far as moving is concerned money earners are not the sole arbiters of home and hearth. Let the husband take care of it all and see if he can do it as well as having a wife do the 50% of the work with the kids and the house and the landlord and parents among a few of the examples. If being a sahm is meaning that you are unworthy of your needs being met you may wish to revisit that personal judgment. You have Kundalini and everything is going to get amplified so realize this and if you cannot forgive it at the least do not turn the anger in upon yourself. Just release it privately in the basement or anywhere you can be alone and get it out of your systems. Do some very hard aerobic exercises and sweat it out. Get it out of the seething stage inside of your body. This can do some harm as the K is so strong. Take little pieces of the situation and write them down after your release and go piecemeal with what can be let go of and forgiven. Then move into the next area. Do not try to do it all at once. Go slowly and carefully and do not feel guilt for not forgiving everything! Give yourself some time and some self validation for being in a stressful situation and needing to let some steam off. - keep us apprised dear friend. - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Brandy- there is nothing evil about you. It is a normal reaction that you are having to a negative situation. Being called names is not nice - it is rude - learning to turn the cheek and smile is not easy - I get this way also - and it is so easy to see how to respond but then hard to do - but i will venture to say to you- when all else fails -laugh at your tormenter- When you see him/her tomorrow smile and just think funny thoughts - see them in their undies - now that would make anyone laugh right??? Love and laughter win out in most situations-it throws the others off- it changes the atmosphere to a positive state - YOU ARE NOT EVIL - you are a K lady - strong, multifacted, beautiful beyond the universe, loved for your goodness and loving to all...You deserve respect and honor - to receive such one may have to teach the other how to do this- show them the depth of your spirit - show them the love... consume them with kindness- shower them with smiles- radiate your k... Sending you strength of spirit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2008 Report Share Posted August 6, 2008 hi chrism, a sahm is just short for stay at home mom. i took your advice and just cried...the ugly cry lol...and wringed at my pillow for awhile until i was just exhausted. once i was able to calm down i just visualized how i will deal with him in the future. he has not actually been by today, atleast not yet; but i think my visualizing will help me to stay calm for when i do have to. i must have really exhausted myself because i actually took a 2-1/2 hour nap this afternoon, which is something i have not done for quite some time. brandyk On 8/5/08, chrism <> wrote: What is a sahm? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2008 Report Share Posted August 6, 2008 , thank you so much for your response. this will help me more than you know! i have been visualizing how i will deal with the situation in the future, but it always seems when i do this a curveball is thrown into the mix so smiling and laughing will actually help keep me in a positive mood and who knows....it could help his attitude a bit as well. brandyk On 8/5/08, . wrote: Brandy- there is nothing evil about you. It is a normal reaction that you are having to a negative situation. Being called names is not nice - it is rude - learning to turn the cheek and smile is not easy - I get this way also - and it is so easy to see how to respond but then hard to do - but i will venture to say to you- when all else fails -laugh at your tormenter-When you see him/her tomorrow smile and just think funny thoughts - see them in their undies - now that would make anyone laugh right??? Love and laughter win out in most situations-it throws the others off-it changes the atmosphere to a positive state - YOU ARE NOT EVIL - you are a K lady - strong, multifacted, beautiful beyond the universe, loved for your goodness and loving to all...You deserve respect and honor - to receive such one may have to teach the other how to do this- show them the depth of your spirit - show them the love...consume them with kindness- shower them with smiles- radiate your k... Sending you strength of spirit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2008 Report Share Posted August 6, 2008 Good for you brandy! I remember chrism telling me once to do my best to forgive everyone, because if we don't try and forgive, it can turn into a painful blockage... I know it is much easier said than done. He also told me that my life may be thrown into a state of chaos initially, and this was all part of the k awakening. And I can tell you he is so right. There are days that I wake up and it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and there are other days awake and I feel as light as a feather. I think it is all a part of this k process, and as we work through it all, it starts to even out. I sympathize with you, as I know how difficult it can be when we encounter someone such as your landlord. You sound like a very very caring person, and the fact that you are searching your soul to find forgiveness ....speaks volumes about the type of person you are. I hope you continue to post, and vent, and share your life and k experiences, as it helps me relate to what others are going through, and when things like that come my way, I can draw from your experience and the advice given to you as well. Hope today is a much better day for you!!! --- On Wed, 8/6/08, Brandy Kelley <divarep wrote: Brandy Kelley <divarep Re: Re: lack of forgiveness and emotional blockages...help Wednesday, August 6, 2008, 2:06 PM hi chrism, a sahm is just short for stay at home mom. i took your advice and just cried...the ugly cry lol...and wringed at my pillow for awhile until i Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.