Forgiveness

[Guest guest]

The issue of forgiveness was raised earlier this month in the forum

and chrism also raised it specifically in connection with the safeties

and our daily practice. Forgiving significant past wrongs suffered is

not easy and is most certainly not a `one-off' event. In reading up

on the psychology of forgiveness I found some excellent descriptions

that may resonate with some of the group:

 

Forgiveness … " is a decision to see beyond the limits of another's

personality " … " is an attitude that implies that you are willing to

accept responsibility for your perceptions, realizing that your

perceptions are a choice and not an objective fact " … " is a process

that requires shifting your perceptions again and again…is rarely a

one-time event " … " is a way of life that gradually transforms us from

being helpless victims of our circumstances to being powerful and

loving co-creators of our reality " … " Forgiveness is not about what we

do, it is about the way we perceive people and circumstances "

 

Genuine forgiveness demands every mental, moral and spiritual resource

you have. . . . Nobody forgives spontaneously; victims must make an

effort to move beyond their inevitable shock, rage, grief and desire

for revenge… Forgiveness is the accomplishment of mastery over a

wound. It is the process though which an injured person first fights

off, then embraces, then conquers a situation that has nearly

destroyed him

 

In Buddhism, forgiveness does not mean absolution, but an opportunity

for the inner transformation of both victim and perpetrator. The

perpetrator of evil will suffer over many lifetimes to a degree

determined by his actions, until he is ready for inner transformation.

For the victim, forgiveness is a way of transforming his own grief,

resentment, or hatred into good. To grant forgiveness to someone who

has truly changed is not a way of condoning or forgetting his or her

past crimes, but of acknowledging whom he or she has become..

 

Food for thought…

 

Blessings-Jonathan