things to keep telling yourself?

[Guest guest]

I know i'm writing a lot, and thinking and moving so fast, and please don't worry as i said before i've not indulged and will not indulge for some time in anything. I'm sorry if it came out as if i will continue to partake it substances and what not, i'm just saying that over the course of my entire life, eventually i'm probably going to partake at some time or another, when everything's back in order and all's well. Then i'll be augmenting the experiance of existance positivily, not running away from a reality i don't want to deal with. That's a hard lesson to learn. and yes being a raver involves a lot of things, but generally, it's celebrating the fact that you have the ability to celebrate with a bunch of awesome people. That's kind of cheesey, and it's not really the right answer, it's just one answer,

and you are correct, it's not about driving yourself into the ground, but it takes some good smacks to the head sometimes to get you understand that you're driving yourself into the ground even if you don't see it. Which sounds like exactly what existance might have been telling me. Sounds like a pretty reasonable explanation :-P!And now for three hours of writing...So synaptic pathways in your brain are not set, they slowly shift over time. synaptic pathways that are used heavily (say for instance, a member of the polyphonic spree's positive mode of thinking synaptic structures) are reinforced and therefore make it easier to think that way. Pathways that are not used as much (a chartered accountant's creative synaptic branches) slowly degrade until they break apart or at least fall into disuse and become more difficult to use over time. Knowing this, there is some truth to the idea that is put forth in a

brave new world, the idea of repetition creating truth. Now of course they go to the extreme in saying it is a fact that however man repetitions make one truth, but it's not false to say that if you think happy thoughts a lot, you'll start thinking happy thoughts

naturally. So...keeping that in mind while i write out my reactions to my second read of the safeties, if nothing more than to make me really think about each one, and firmly implant it in my head.Programming. No problem there, all i listen to these days is soul/funk, indie rock, hardstyles, psytrance, and... oh well i guess synthpop and industrial is kinda out. But Yoji Biomehanika's techy techy is definitly still awesome! :-D! Listening to it now :-3 good times. Oh and scary stuff, never been my thing, i'm all fairys and cutesy stuff (seriously it's kind of rediculous sometimes, but rediculous is awesome)Food choicesNow there's something i could improve on a bit i guess. I love veggies and stuff, and end up eating them a lot when my mom gets them because the rest of her food selection usually requires even more preperation :-P. I guess i could cut down on junk food, but that's something

everyone seems to have at least a little problem with. Honestly maybe i should start eating more food... I usually don't eat much.ForgivenessHonestly the biggest problem here is going to be forgiving myself. I do my best to hold no grudge, to love everyone and everything. To accept the faults of others, we're human, it's ok :-3. But me? I have control over what i do, and sometimes i give in to the urges that i know i shouldn't give in to. Is that ok? Is that part of being human? Of course it is! I'm an idiot for thinking i should hold myself to higher standards than other people. Well, i still want to, because having the standard of perfection leaves nothing but room for improvement right? I just have to work on the forgiving myself when i fall far far short of it.RecapitulationWow, this'll take a long time and a lot of effort... I've done a lot of dumb

things, but luckily enough substances to not remember half of them anyway haha! But i can understand the good in this even if i'll probably have to do it over and over and over in order to get myself to actually believe myself when i say it's ok...Inner Joy.At first i thought this would be kind of hard because i want to use an event that's pure inner joy, that's just me being totally stoked, not me being under the influence. My imidate thought was haha! good luck finding one of those! But then i remembered one, then a couple, then droves of them! It might be hard to dreg them up at first, but they're there, and waiting to reassure meTrustUgh, i don't even trust myself, let alone most other people. Hmmm.. that's not entirely true, i don't trust people to do what they say when some sort of efforts involved on their part. I trust people to be generally lazy and to avoid most work at all cost, but

then again, i know a lot of teenagers and young adults, and we're a particularly lazy group of people. I guess i really do trust people when it comes to important things, but i'm not going to ask someone to help me organize a party, or help me with a school project. They usually tend to say Yeah! that's an awesome idea! then convenently not return your phonecalls. But it's ok, everyone does stuff like that from time to time, it's just where they put their prioreties and that's cool. But trust the thing that's taken me by force? It didn't really... I was kind of asking for it in a way. I was curious about everything, about life and the universe and myself, and well, i got my answer. And it's a pretty cool answer really... Thinking positive, it's still something i gotta get back into the habit of doing. That and i guess i really should trust this to be cool. It's going to be rediculously

hard though, but when have i backed down from a rediculous idea? hehehe :-DHonestyI try, and i fail sometimes, but hopefully a lot of times i try my best to recover and not lie too much especially to myself. It's hard sometimes, and sometimes you make promises that you don't not keep, you just forget about, and sometimes you just tell yourself you forget about them. Honestly i could would on my personal honesty. hehe (wow you can tell i'm getting tired my jokes are getting lame lol)LoveFor a while after my awakening, i was scared of this word. But i know now, like i realized in the midst of the event, that love is really everything, it's the only thing that really matters. It's an answer to most questions that need serious answers. I will work harder to cultivate my love and appreciation for everything, starting with making my messages less lengthy because it probably sucks being polite enough to

read five pages of me talking about myself LOL! But thanks :-3 and i hope it's entertaining at least.Haha! speaking of thanks...GraditudeHere's something i don't think i have to much of a problem with, i'd like to think i am gratious for the things people do for me, for everything that's happened, it's been really fun, and i've had a great time of things for the most part so far with existance, and i can't really put into words how grateful i am to have the friends and support that i have, with my personal friends, and especially with this outlet. You guys are amazing, and i hope that i can eventually give back. Speaking of which sorry about all the negativity in my last email, i hope it's ok to write about that kind of stuff from time to time. I think it just helps to get it out sometimes i guess... Well, maybe it does? I don't know, what are your guys opinions on that? Should i just focus on more important

things? or address the negativity to help move past it? Hmm...PrayerI've been trying this a little now and then, and it's weird how releived i end up feeling after i do it. I'm still not really sure who or what i'm praying to, but i think it's probaly a pretty awesome thing what ever it is. This i should work on a lot. It's odd though, thinking back i don't think i ever prayed to god seriously in chatholic church as a kid. It just didn't really make sense.MovementNo problem there, heck, once we get some videos of us shuffling on youtube i'll throw the videos up so you can see the dance style myself and two friends have gotten all the kids in the rave scene here doing :-D! It's so fun, and it's the best workout i've ever had. Kills your feet and knees though :-Pcompression prayer/alternate nostral breathingI have a bit of a stuffy nose right now or else i'd try it right

now, after reading this part last night i didn't really understand it. Guess i'll have to try it soon. What kind of mantra should i use? Hmm... I'll have to think about this some moreThe last few things i'll have to read into more later i guess... Man I'm so sorry if this is too much you guys... Please just let me know if you want me to stop writing these huge emails. It's just that once i get going at my keyboard it's hard to stop. And having said that, i'd just like to thank you all for this community to put my words and thoughts and what not. I just want you to know i check my mail several times a day now hehe. It's just crazy how much of a relief it is to not have to have it just stuck in my head. Lastly i'd like to appologies for being kind of outspoken, i don't want to seem... i don't know, outspoken? Even though i know i kind of am, and i'm sorry i get carried

away on these crazy tangents and what not. Thank you so much for reading this! if you made it this far congratulations! I'm done! seiously. I hope you all have one of the best days ever tomorrow. Hopefully i can help make someone's day awesome tomorrow. That'd be cool :-3 Thank you everyone :-D you're awesome!lock

[Guest guest]

Hi lock

 

I know in my case that while kundalini infuse into my being it would

also start to put the ego into the passenger seat . Old activities may

not have the same appeal to you once the ego has a lessen influence

and the kundalini has begin flowing within you . In my case it was an

ongoing childlike fit within me as the ego would put so many excuses

in my head to not think clearly and go back to old activities . Anyway

, i don't wanna sound like I'm preaching or anything like that . It's

nice to hear from you and your post . i hope your path will be made

somewhat easier now that you have found this group of others also on

the path .

 

blessings

 

 

 

I know i'm writing a lot, and thinking and moving so fast, and please

don't worry as i said before i've not indulged and will not indulge

for some time in anything. I'm sorry if it came out as if i will

continue to partake it substances and what not, i'm just saying that

over the course of my entire life, eventually i'm probably going to

partake at some time or another, when everything's back in order and

all's well.

[Guest guest]

Hello Lock,

This is a process that will change you from the inside out

and these changes will often include changes in what you do with your

time. How you feel about things in general and what you are attracted

to. Change is a dominant theme within the Kundalini. Blessings and

happiness Lock. - chrism

[Guest guest]

Hi there Lock! I think it will be very interesting to watch the changes in you over the next several months. The K totally changes us and reorders our priorities and interests. I know this is a lot to assimilate right away, but I have a feeling you will do just fine.

Sarita

, Steve Lynch <mrcrazygonuts wrote:>> I know i'm writing a lot, and thinking and moving so fast, and please don't worry as i said before i've not indulged and will not indulge for some time in anything. I'm sorry if it came out as if i will continue to partake it substances and what not, i'm just saying that over the course of my entire life, eventually i'm probably going to partake at some time or another, when everything's back in order and all's well.

[Guest guest]

Don't worry you're not preaching at all! :-3 and thanks, sometimes it doesn't feel like my ego is being put in the passenger seat (sometimes it definitly does) but sometimes it's like my ego is merging with the kundalini and becoming detached from the self in this reality. Like i start to have control over this body and the body in the realities around this one. Hmm... Good times i guess :-P. I know what you mean about the excuses to go back to old activites. It kind of sucks too, my 21st birthday is coming up this month and i kind of wanted to celebrate you know, but you know, i shouldn't be doing anything for a while, but it's my 21st birthday dang it! :-(. Stupid kundalini, why couldn't you have hit me after i turned 21 lol :-P. Well in any case i guess i'll see what happens

:-3.lock-I know in my case that while kundalini infuse into my being it would

also start to put the ego into the passenger seat . Old activities may

not have the same appeal to you once the ego has a lessen influence

and the kundalini has begin flowing within you . In my case it was an

ongoing childlike fit within me as the ego would put so many excuses

in my head to not think clearly and go back to old activities .___

[Guest guest]

I hope so :-3!!! And i hope my ramblings are somewhat entertaining because i know they're filled with no wisdom or incite at all! haha :-P. And i hope it doesn't change my interests to much, i wanna be a music producer! and i'm taking classes for it now, and am about to start spending hundreds of bucks over the next few years on the programs and equipment i'm going to need, but then again i didn't start actually trying to realise these goals until after i had my first experiance so maybe these are the beginnings of the changes towards the goals i've always had but never actually started working towards until now. :-D hopefully i'll eventually get some tracks down and get your opinions on them :-D that'd be sweet :-3 though idk, do any of you

listen to electronica? lol.

Hi there Lock! I think it will be very interesting to watch the changes in you over the next several months. The K totally changes us and reorders our priorities and interests.

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