who am i?

October 3, 2008

So i've been thinking a little bit recently (haha :-P) still about why i fear this whole thing, and i kind of figured a bit more about why. I think part of it has to do with the ego for sure, the point at which you are no longer that which is I. And that scares me! I like who i am, even though i have my flaws and weaknesses and all that stuff (and pros too), It's taken like, almost 21 years for me to get to where i am and how i am today, and that took a lot of work, and i'm looking forward to becoming even more cool in the future. So i'm afraid of the part where the things that make up that which is this person get taken away. I don't want to not be me, being me has been fun for the most part so far :-(.But! Having thought of that, and having written about the definition by inclusion or, whatever the oposite of

definition by exclusion is made me stop and think. Why does it have to be like that, isn't it better to build from the ground up, and if you build who you are from the ground up it goes like this, Existance, I exist, i exist as that which is I (and after this it can get complicated, but the steps involved being able to precieve with the senses and record information as it passes make connections out of that information, then finally make sense and filter out what is important and what isn't important at the time). But those first steps are what it seems you get broken back down into when you go through an experiance, at least that's kind of what it's like for me, and it's not bad, it's not taking anything away, because it's always there, it's just going back to basics and rebuilding from there. Does that make sense? What do you guys think about this idea?

October 4, 2008

Steve

What a great question,

Yoga was to change dramatically from the late 70s early 80s and the

change was was the vanity of the body personal to the development of

the spiritual charactor this was what the gurus where claiming at the

time. satchidananda would sing i am not the body not the mind the

imortal self " I am " and encourage his students to live it. satyanada

said the fure students of yoga will not be practicing yoga just for

physical well being though rather would be asking the very same

question you ask , " who am I? " there is no one that can answer your

question for you only you can answer that because it is a development

due to self study of what you are doing. That will come around in the

form of a serpent and bite you on the perinium (fobiden fruit). Then

you might ask yourself How did i get here, :-) then you may see the

process of creation and evolution that brought you to your

understanding.

Om Para Shakti Namaha

Jaganatha

, Steve Lynch

<mrcrazygonuts wrote:

>

> So i've been thinking a little bit recently (haha :-P) still about

why i fear this whole thing, and i kind of figured a bit more about

why. I think part of it has to do with the ego for sure, the point

at which you are no longer that which is I. And that scares me! I

like who i am, even though i have my flaws and weaknesses and all

that stuff (and pros too), It's taken like, almost 21 years for me to

get to where i am and how i am today, and that took a lot of work,

and i'm looking forward to becoming even more cool in the future. So

i'm afraid of the part where the things that make up that which is

this person get taken away. I don't want to not be me, being me has

been fun for the most part so far :-(.

>

> But! Having thought of that, and having written about the

definition by inclusion or, whatever the oposite of definition by

exclusion is made me stop and think. Why does it have to be like

that, isn't it better to build from the ground up, and if you build

who you are from the ground up it goes like this, Existance, I exist,

i exist as that which is I (and after this it can get complicated,

but the steps involved being able to precieve with the senses and

record information as it passes make connections out of that

information, then finally make sense and filter out what is important

and what isn't important at the time). But those first steps are

what it seems you get broken back down into when you go through an

experiance, at least that's kind of what it's like for me, and it's

not bad, it's not taking anything away, because it's always there,

it's just going back to basics and rebuilding from there. Does that

make sense? What do you guys

> think about this idea?

>

October 4, 2008

@@So i'm afraid of the part where the things that make up that which is this person get taken away. I don't want to not be me, being me has been fun for the most part so far :-(.@@

Hello again, Lock,

Fear of annihilation of self. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. Ha. It's a good thing to like yourself! You are very advanced for your age; I believe you that you worked for that, the work is apparent.

Of course, first off, whatever you release is your choice, so it is never "taken from you" without your choice or consent. Here's the beauty bit - the more you let go, the more exponentially is then able to arrive.

What is unnecessary usually comprises some sort of blockage to light; let go of the blocks (which can look like black tar on the body in the astral), the more light/energy can flood in, the more light we are able to carry, the purer and more refined and concentrated the light, the more authentically we are able to live, the more of our Selves we become.

We make all these choices as designers of our own expression. Volition and permissions are held in great importance by our helpers and guides and higher energies involved in our journey.

We sense in our awakening a much larger power and our (ego) response manifests in fear of loss of control. But the opposite is the case; we are gaining control that we have not realised or used before. We are expanding beyond our previous limits and it can feel off-putting or threatening until we are able to fully process on the conscious level the shift that has occurred.

But, you're right; we will deconstruct and reconstruct our vision of reality and idea of ourselves countless times and far beyond this human incarnation, for the uncovering continues and is part of the thrill of our ever-changing, ever-evolving existence.

And yes, you are right again; it is work and it does take diligence - more than most people are willing to invest, I'm afraid. So you're ahead of the game. The rewards are tremendous and it's so much fun besides, unravelling the Mystery.

x,

Droxine

--- Steve Lynch <mrcrazygonuts wrote:>> So i've been thinking a little bit recently (haha :-P) still about why i fear this whole thing, and i kind of figured a bit more about why. I think part of it has to do with the ego for sure, the point at which you are no longer that which is I. And that scares me! I like who i am, even though i have my flaws and weaknesses and all that stuff (and pros too), It's taken like, almost 21 years for me to get to where i am and how i am today, and that took a lot of work, and i'm looking forward to becoming even more cool in the future. So i'm afraid of the part where the things that make up that which is this person get taken away. I don't want to not be me, being me has been fun for the most part so far :-(.

October 4, 2008

My response to this post:

I'll THINK to THAT!!!

Julie--- On Sat, 10/4/08, droxine5 <Droxine1 wrote:

droxine5 <Droxine1 Re: who am i? Date: Saturday, October 4, 2008, 4:59 AM

@@So i'm afraid of the part where the things that make up that which is this person get taken away. I don't want to not be me, being me has been fun for the most part so far :-(.@@

Hello again, Lock,

Fear of annihilation of self. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. Ha. It's a good thing to like yourself! You are very advanced for your age; I believe you that you worked for that, the work is apparent.

Of course, first off, whatever you release is your choice, so it is never "taken from you" without your choice or consent. Here's the beauty bit - the more you let go, the more exponentially is then able to arrive.

What is unnecessary usually comprises some sort of blockage to light; let go of the blocks (which can look like black tar on the body in the astral), the more light/energy can flood in, the more light we are able to carry, the purer and more refined and concentrated the light, the more authentically we are able to live, the more of our Selves we become.

We make all these choices as designers of our own expression. Volition and permissions are held in great importance by our helpers and guides and higher energies involved in our journey.

October 4, 2008

The more you let go, the more you gain, :-3 Nice... and to look at it as having a greater control we have not realized or used before... That makes sense in a way, (in kind of a frightening way, not a scary way, but like a, hold on i don't want to act out irrisponsibly with the power i will potentially be able to weild to manifest my personal destiny kind of frightening, like a good frightening) :-3). Volition and permission are of great importance to the higher beings that guide us, that's definitly a comforting thought,

speaking of which, what kind of higher power should i be selecting hmm? lol that's a horrible way to put it, but i've no experiance in trying to understand what facet of existance has choisen to guide me. I hope it's some spirit of the rave that's guiding me forward into this sea of life. That'd be so sweet! hehe. Unraveling the mystery seems to happen sometimes weither i want it to or not sometimes, and i guess that's where it's going to take the most self disipline to stay focused on the positive and inner joy that is most escential. Astral body... tar and light, i'm still not to the point of being able to visualise this, or even do anything beyond sense bits and pieces in the this reality. I'm still kinda scared about doing anything beyond this plane of existance right now, i have school to focus on! lol. That and visualisations were never my strong point, ideas resonate in my mind like chords, a

beautifully ellogent (albeit it misspelled :-P) idea will usually just click into a nice harmonic hum or beat when it makes sense. like a DING of a lightbulb, without the lightbulb lol. People who can think visually still amaze me, and they're hard to talk to sometimes about weird stuff because a lot of the times we'll be talking about the same thing in two completely different ways :-P. Thanks again for all the words of wisdom :-3 and i still need to eat something!Potentially eaten food: 1 fear: 0lollock Fear of annihilation of self. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. Ha. It's a good thing to like yourself! You are very advanced for your age; I believe you that you worked for that, the work is apparent.

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October 4, 2008

Dear Lock,

I hear ya, that is what learning surrender is all about, we are being reborn and

that is scary.

We spend so much time becoming who we are and then we have to shed that skin and

become something new, it is scary and difficult at times.

Where do I fit in now? Who am I? Will I still be me?

I go through this too as I'm out having fun with friends and they do all the

usual things people do, I feel a bit left outside as I try to lift myself up and

change my behaviours such as drinking or smoking, they are living without fear

of consequence, no guilt, no shame.

I too notice that I continuously judge myself and often feel guilty for desires

or behaviours because of some inner knowledge that I'm meant to be something

more then this, but what?

This is when we begin to live in our conscious self rather then the unconscious

self, we observe ourself with more scrutiny. I demand perfection from myself!

;-0

I'm sure that it is just a part of the path which to will pass and transform in

to something else.

One thing I do know is that I'm heading in the right direction and even if its

hard to adapt to new ways of being or living it's all worth it and what I'm here

to do.

So, good luck, chin up and many blessings

elektra x x x

October 4, 2008

:-3! Power to the right direction!!! :-D hehe, and i know what you mean about living in the conscious self (i think) and i definitely understand what it's like to be out with friends and just feel, detached and judging oneself on a different level from most other people, not to say you're any better than them, if anything i'm a bit jealous of how i used to be, although being awakened to this stuff definitly has it's beinifits, like the fact that i've gotten my life back on track for one! And you know, if you're ever out and people are just dumb, the best thing to do is just dance :-3,

hehehehe :-3 the wonders of the way you can make your body move, :-D and the music you can move it to hehehe :-3!!!!! that's an awesome videoI hear ya, that is what learning surrender is all about, we are being reborn and that is scary.

We spend so much time becoming who we are and then we have to shed that skin and become something new, it is scary and difficult at times.

Where do I fit in now? Who am I? Will I still be me?

October 4, 2008

People who can think visually still amaze me, and they're hard to talk to sometimes about weird stuff because a lot of the times we'll be talking about the same thing in two complely different ways. lock

I thought everyone thought visually...If you don't think visually how do you think,??that would be so difficult without the pictures!

curious paula~

October 4, 2008

The shuffle dance looks like a lot of fun.

Linda

, Steve Lynch

<mrcrazygonuts wrote:

>

> :-3! Power to the right direction!!! :-D hehe, and i know what you

mean about living in the conscious self (i think) and i definitely

understand what it's like to be out with friends and just feel,

detached and judging oneself on a different level from most other

people, not to say you're any better than them, if anything i'm a bit

jealous of how i used to be, although being awakened to this stuff

definitly has it's beinifits, like the fact that i've gotten my life

back on track for one! And you know, if you're ever out and people

are just dumb, the best thing to do is just dance :-3,

hehehehe :-3 the wonders

of the way you can make your body move, :-D and the music you can

move it to hehehe :-3!!!!! that's an awesome video

>

> I hear ya, that is what learning surrender is all about, we are

being reborn and that is scary.

>

> We spend so much time becoming who we are and then we have to shed

that skin and become something new, it is scary and difficult at

times.

>

> Where do I fit in now? Who am I? Will I still be me?

>

October 4, 2008

i talk in my head, words and music, that's about all that usuaully goes on in my head :-3 Any time i try to visualise something it usually just kind of falls apart after a few seconds, and i can almost never recall faces and what not :-P.--- On Sat, 10/4/08, alayafire <ari.reza wrote:alayafire <ari.reza Re: who am i? Date: Saturday, October 4, 2008, 4:50 AM

People who can think visually still amaze me, and they're hard to talk to sometimes about weird stuff because a lot of the times we'll be talking about the same thing in two complely different ways. lock

I thought everyone thought visually...If you don't think visually how do you think,??that would be so difficult without the pictures!

curious paula~

October 4, 2008

It does look like a lot of fun! I don't think my poor back would hold up though. *pout*

Sarita

, "Linda" <crazycats711 wrote:>> The shuffle dance looks like a lot of fun. > > Linda

October 4, 2008

omg it gets so painful sometimes, lol, i've pulled almost every muscle i have in my legs and feet, gotten bone bruises on the bottoms of my heals, (that really sucks), gotten my legs so sore i have to pick them up with my hands to get into my car, but it's awesome, and it's one of the best workouts ever :-D lol.--- On Sat, 10/4/08, Sarita <sarita1969 wrote:

It does look like a lot of fun! I don't think my poor back would hold up though. *pout*

Sarita

October 5, 2008

Hehe! Hmmm...maybe it's just fun to watch someone else do it.

Linda

, Steve Lynch

<mrcrazygonuts wrote:

>

> omg it gets so painful sometimes, lol, i've pulled almost every

muscle i have in my legs and feet, gotten bone bruises on the bottoms

of my heals, (that really sucks), gotten my legs so sore i have to

pick them up with my hands to get into my car, but it's awesome, and

it's one of the best workouts ever :-D lol.

>

> --- On Sat, 10/4/08, Sarita <sarita1969 wrote:

>

It does look like a lot of fun! I don't think my poor

back would hold up though. *pout*

> Sarita

>

October 5, 2008

That's what dancing's about, entertaining the people watching, and i think it does ;-3. I just got back from a rave and i luckily didn't pull my left leg to bad :-P but man do my feet hurt! hehe, And wow! some of the other kids have gotten so good:-3 it's nice to see them getting into dancing and not just the bad side of these kinds of parties, ugh i'm soaked, but it's nice to dance, it's such a wonderful feeling, it's when i feel the most at one with all of this. Everything else just falls away and all that's left is awesome :-3. --- On Sat, 10/4/08, Linda <crazycats711 wrote:Linda <crazycats711 Re: who am i?To:

Date: Saturday, October 4, 2008, 8:23 PM

Hehe! Hmmm...maybe it's just fun to watch someone else do it.

October 5, 2008

I loved dancing when I was young. It was my favorite thing to do

beside wondering around in the woods and reading. I danced the night

away many times back in the 60's, early 70's. Dancing got me in big

trouble one night...haven't done much of it sense.

Linda

, Steve Lynch

<mrcrazygonuts wrote:

>

> That's what dancing's about, entertaining the people watching, and

i think it does ;-3. I just got back from a rave and i luckily

didn't pull my left leg to bad :-P but man do my feet hurt! hehe, And

wow! some of the other kids have gotten so good:-3 it's nice to see

them getting into dancing and not just the bad side of these kinds of

parties, ugh i'm soaked, but it's nice to dance, it's such a

wonderful feeling, it's when i feel the most at one with all of

this. Everything else just falls away and all that's left is