Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Greetings All, I was out shopping earlier in the week and popped in a shop to see an old friend, just to say Hi. She was telling me about a man she likes a lot and how she intends to ask him out on a date. She has had the hots for him for over a year, and it showed when they worked together. He has told me that he has no interest in her and in fact he recently got another job so he didn't have to be in her company every day. Then she asked me if I knew what he thought of her and if she stood a chance? I had to lie/gloss over things and said she should ask him, as I didn't know. I felt that I could not tell her what he had said as it would have hurt her feelings, and I would rather he told her as I did not want to get involved in their personal life. Gosh, I felt so awful lying to her and later in that day I found it to be physically painful (in my head), when I thought of what I said, as I had not told her the truth. I'm practicing the safeties and have not lied to anyone since I became K active. I now feel that my actions may have put me back 6 months in my practice as it upsets me to know I lied. What would you have done in my place? How do I deal with similar situations in the future? I would love to hear others views on this. Skydancer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Dear Skydancer, Please don't be so hard on yourself. I have lived long enough to realize that I will never be "perfect". When I fall short of this, I look at my motives. I believe yours was a motive of compassion, not wanting to hurt this person. Given the choice, I would have chosen the "little white lie" over hurting someone. Both these people put you in the middle of a sticky situation, or as they say, "between a rock and a hard place. Let go of guilt. It is not deserved or healthy......... Julie--- On Thu, 11/6/08, Skydancer <ionaskydancer wrote: Skydancer <ionaskydancer Lying Pain Date: Thursday, November 6, 2008, 5:10 PM Greetings All,I was out shopping earlier in the week and popped in a shop to see an old friend, just to say Hi. She was telling me about a man she likes a lot and how she intends to ask him out on a date. She has had the hots for him for over a year, and it showed when they worked together. He has told me that he has no interest in her and in fact he recently got another job so he didn't have to be in her company every day.Then she asked me if I knew what he thought of her and if she stood a chance? I had to lie/gloss over things and said she should ask him, as I didn't know. I felt that I could not tell her what he had said as it would have hurt her feelings, and I would rather he told her as I did not want to get involved in their personal life.Gosh, I felt so awful lying to her and later in that day I found it to be physically painful (in my head), when I thought of what I said, as I had not told her the truth. I'm practicing the safeties and have not lied to anyone since I became K active. I now feel that my actions may have put me back 6 months in my practice as it upsets me to know I lied. What would you have done in my place?How do I deal with similar situations in the future? I would love to hear others views on this.Skydancer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Hello Skydancer, I've found that Shakti lets us know what is acceptable or not acceptable behavior to Her. The feelings can be awful when She doesn't like something. It feels to me like a type of discipline, and I try not to repeat it. This might not apply to you, but I felt led to share anyway. Love, dhyana , " Skydancer " <ionaskydancer wrote: > > Greetings All, > > I was out shopping earlier in the week and popped in a shop to see an > old friend, just to say Hi. She was telling me about a man she likes > a lot and how she intends to ask him out on a date. She has had the > hots for him for over a year, and it showed when they worked > together. He has told me that he has no interest in her and in fact > he recently got another job so he didn't have to be in her company > every day. > > Then she asked me if I knew what he thought of her and if she stood a > chance? I had to lie/gloss over things and said she should ask him, > as I didn't know. I felt that I could not tell her what he had said > as it would have hurt her feelings, and I would rather he told her as > I did not want to get involved in their personal life. > > Gosh, I felt so awful lying to her and later in that day I found it > to be physically painful (in my head), when I thought of what I said, > as I had not told her the truth. > > I'm practicing the safeties and have not lied to anyone since I > became K active. I now feel that my actions may have put me back 6 > months in my practice as it upsets me to know I lied. > > What would you have done in my place? > How do I deal with similar situations in the future? > > I would love to hear others views on this. > > Skydancer > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 The Kundalini can be painful when we are not being honest. It is an integrity oriented consciousness with in the culture that is being expressed. This is not a mistake on your part Iona. It is a lesson being given. And now you have reminded all of us of this fact so good going! - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 You describe it very well Dhyana! And I feel you are right on the mark. - thank you Dhyana. - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 At 06:10 PM 11/6/2008, you wrote: What would you have done in my place? I was in your place once. I gently told her that I thought she was not his type, and I didn't feel that they would be a good match (I could say so with complete integrity). She could see I knew something more though because I was so uncomfortable, she dug and pried and eventually I had to tell her the blunt truth (he had not made me promise to keep that secret, in fact he'd said " Tell that nutty friend of yours to get lost, she creeps me out. " ). She didn't believe me. She had to make a play for him, and it didn't go well. Unfortunately she had " wrong man radar " (sigh) ... there was no way to protect her from herself. How do I deal with similar situations in the future? I know one thing you should NOT do ... bang on yourself. Would your judgement be as harsh on another as you have been on yourself? Brandi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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