Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past and for who you are just the way you are? What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure or safe? Thanks, Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 my take on that is to just be there, still and alert, listening fully with your body and mind to what the other is saying. Try not to judge what they are saying or be thinking of the next thing to say while they are still talking. Allow what needs to be said to surface into your awareness (allowing words to come from beyond the ego), instead of thinking (which implies doing) of what to say, lol. Be comfortable with silent gaps while you wait for an answer to come or just be there with him/her resting in silence (sometimes just the sharing of each other's presence is all that is needed). Listen with the heart, speak from the heart and offer compassion. Easier said than done, but a great spiritual practice. Namaste Craig , " Anne " <annicole72 wrote: > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past > and for who you are just the way you are? > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure > or safe? > > Thanks, > Anne > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Anne, in my experience the only thing that worked was healing myself, and reaffirming that I could have a new beginning. Nothing that new significant others could do or say had any real lasting effect beyond a few moments which quickly disappeared. Healing from any relationship that has ended really begins and ends with ourselves. Things like prayer and meditation are very helpful, as well as having friends and loved ones who are willing to listen and be supportive during this time. Some people are able to heal much quicker than others. I would advise that you don't move forward with any new significant others, until you have completely healed. To move forward before that will only add an unfair burden to the situation, and not give the new relationship the chance it deserves. Good luck! Rick , " Anne " <annicole72 wrote: > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past > and for who you are just the way you are? > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure > or safe? > > Thanks, > Anne > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Anne wen i was much younger i tried marrige-uana then other stuff and was only but a temporary relief. Though this only led me to become more determined to understand what love is and the high feeeling it gives. my prognosis is that no one or any one or ant thing can recreate this feeling within you. The feeling is always there it is only negative thoughts guilt anger fear hate revenge jelousy and fear that covers it and hides it. No matter what any one says or does can help you escape from these feelings that are attributed to the lower three centres. Mostly because the people who give you advise are caught there themselfs. Next time you fall in love do not fear about falling out of love. Learn to know that every breath that love gives is a transistion to understand the next understanding of it. People will tell you that love is confined to the heart. i would not and do not believe them. shakti is love rather and it has no bounds. when you listen for her or try and smell her taste or see her on what ever plane or what ever colour and shape she shows, she is exspressing love evan in the form of kali. In love John .M , " Anne " <annicole72 wrote: > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past > and for who you are just the way you are? > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure > or safe? > > Thanks, > Anne > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Jerry and Ester Hicks, and Abraham, they talk about the Law of Attraction, how you can attract what you want. The Dissapearance of the Universe, Gary Renard, talks about how life is an illusion, you make it what you want it to be. Ramatha, says you have in your life exactly what you want and need, your health, your wealth, your friends and so on. Carolyn Myss talks about co-creating your life. Louis Hays talks about the time when she was in the third grade, they had a birthday party in her class. Everyone got a piece of cake and there was some left over, She didnt go get another piece because she didn't think she deserved it. This is what she said. If you dont like your life change it, please dont expect others to do it, you have to. Have courage - others have and you can too.. you have my love and blessings, Robert from Columbus Ohio , " Anne " <annicole72 wrote: > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past > and for who you are just the way you are? > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure > or safe? > > Thanks, > Anne > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Hi, Actually it's not me who had a divorce. Sorry about that. Well, it's about this guy that I actually manifested in my life last summer. He was divorced for a year now. We've become good friends since we met. I learned a lot since I met him, Shakti taught me a lot of lessons. What I really like about him is that he respects and accepts me for me. He's really nice and sweet. I've been there with him through the good and bad times. Now, we've developed feelings for each other. He wants us to be in a relationship now (we've known each other for over 5 months), but he feels unworthy/not deserving/does not have much to offer because he feels damaged due to his bad relationships from the past. I told him that I'm not expecting too much from him. I accept him as he is whether he is damaged or whole. We all go through heart ache or had bad relationships in the past, but we learn from it. I know that I'm the only one who actually was sweet to him. His past relationships failed/disasters as he puts it and so did his marriage. I like that we have a friendship. I know he's a decent person. Actually, my ex sent me an email and he is now regretting everything he had done to me in the past. Now, its too late for him. My new friend knows about it. As much as possible I try to be as honest as I can, as I know that trust was something that lacked in his previous relationships. I did too in my last one. So, I will continue to be a good friend to him until he feels more secure. Thank you, Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Ann,from my own experience and this comes from me,a woman who shunned all men and was afraid and who was able to change through this K awakening and believe again that not all men are bad,all i can tell you is that healing comes from within and counseling might help but it's time consuming.If the person is willing to get involved with someone maybe the damage is not so deep but the person who they're having a relationship with would have to be a really good and understanding man.Where there's any fear or mistrust,there can't be anything.It basially up to the person who's been in a bad relationship and it takes time to heal their broken heart. love,nicole , " Anne " <annicole72 wrote: > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past > and for who you are just the way you are? > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure > or safe? > > Thanks, > Anne > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Hi Nicole, Yes, I agree with you. I think time will heal him. Anne , " ntaroiu " <lsirca wrote: > > Ann,from my own experience and this comes from me,a woman who > shunned all men and was afraid and who was able to change through > this K awakening and believe again that not all men are bad,all i can > tell you is that healing comes from within and counseling might help > but it's time consuming.If the person is willing to get involved with > someone maybe the damage is not so deep but the person who they're > having a relationship with would have to be a really good and > understanding man.Where there's any fear or mistrust,there can't be > anything.It basially up to the person who's been in a bad > relationship and it takes time > to heal their broken heart. > > love,nicole > , " Anne " > <annicole72@> wrote: > > > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when > you > > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new > significant > > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your > past > > and for who you are just the way you are? > > > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you > will be > > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel > secure > > or safe? > > > > Thanks, > > Anne > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 I agree. If it's meant to be .. then it's meant to be. Anne , " rick_c_2525 " <rick_c_2525 wrote: > > Anne, in my experience the only thing that worked was healing myself, and reaffirming > that I could have a new beginning. Nothing that new significant others could do or say > had any real lasting effect beyond a few moments which quickly disappeared. > > Healing from any relationship that has ended really begins and ends with ourselves. > Things like prayer and meditation are very helpful, as well as having friends and loved > ones who are willing to listen and be supportive during this time. Some people are able to > heal much quicker than others. > > I would advise that you don't move forward with any new significant others, until you have > completely healed. To move forward before that will only add an unfair burden to the > situation, and not give the new relationship the chance it deserves. > > Good luck! > > Rick > > , " Anne " <annicole72@> > wrote: > > > > For those who had been divorced or had bad past relationships, when you > > felt damaged, unworthy, or not deserving, how were the new significant > > others who came into your life able to reassure you that there's > > nothing for you to worry about and that they accept you for your past > > and for who you are just the way you are? > > > > What do you think are the best ways to show the person that you will be > > there for him/her for better or worse? How do you make them feel secure > > or safe? > > > > Thanks, > > Anne > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 I'm not sure anyone can make someone feel secure if they suffer emotional scarring, the person in question needs to do some work and so talking about the issues at hand and not pussyfooting around I think works best, giving a lot of support and encouragement all the way.When I met my hubby I was really damaged goods, but I knew it, so via open communication and much hard work I began a long healing process, I communicated consistantly with my partner and nipped things in the bud, I ackowledged problems rather then hiding them or diverting them to something else (alot of people do that actually).So, in short, lots of love and support, open communication and active healing (which comes through open communiaction). Also, giving each other oil massage builds trust and closeness and aids release.Hope this helpslove elektra x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2008 Report Share Posted November 20, 2008 Ok sis Elektra. That was really helpful. What you shared gave me hope. I don't mind doing extra work, because I know he's worth it. And I know you all will approve of him ;-) I'll try that oil massage after our finals. (HUGS) Anne , Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > > > I'm not sure anyone can make someone feel secure if they suffer > emotional scarring, the person in question needs to do some work and so > talking about the issues at hand and not pussyfooting around I think > works best, giving a lot of support and encouragement all the way. > When > I met my hubby I was really damaged goods, but I knew it, so via open > communication and much hard work I began a long healing process, I > communicated consistantly with my partner and nipped things in the bud, > I ackowledged problems rather then hiding them or diverting them to > something else (alot of people do that actually). > > So, in short, > lots of love and support, open communication and active healing (which > comes through open communiaction). Also, giving each other oil massage > builds trust and closeness and aids release. > > Hope this helps > love elektra x x x > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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