Kundalini Induced Suicide

[Guest guest]

Kundalini will change your feelings about your life and your

interactive dynamics within the life you are living. It will have a

way of amplifying those issues that may need the most work from you

at any given time.

 

This if it isn't understood or is blocked from the individual due to

other outside forces can become a road towards a miscommunication

within the individual.

 

It is very, very important not to allow yourself to fall into the

deep depressions that can occur. We may feel as if we do not belong.

We may feel as if we are not good enough. We may feel as if life has

no meaning anymore. These are " caused " by the Kundalini as it seeks

to transform the person and in this transformation a feeling of not

belonging or being viable inside of the current reality can often be

felt as the one reality becomes the two.

 

We can begin to feel very hopeless and unconnected. It isn't true

but it " feels " as if it is true. And it is this feeling as with

other feelings that I advise people to not partake of unless it is a

way of releasing it from there expressions and systems. Choice is

always there for you to have. You can choose to focus on what you

wish and yes it may take some effort but inside of the Kundalini you

may find it a very rewarding effort.

 

If you need to get these self hurtful expressions out then do so!

THEN move on. Go into your internal joy your IJ and begin to FIND

the self love and the self respect and the self meaning in your life

from a new platform. Too often we can get caught up into the idea

that these aspects of change are " not right " because they feel

strange and then the feelings that come from that change will form

to suit from your expectations and they will not be right. Then the

person can obsess on these patterns of self induced depressive

feelings.

 

This will often be amplified by the Kundalini infusion as it brings

these most personal issues to the surface by dislodging them from

the secret little places where we hide them in our consciousness.

Bringing our darkest thoughts to the surface to be cleansed by the

light. Sometimes we want to hang on to these aspects of our Shadow

Selves. Sometimes we do not yet feel ready to let go of the familiar

fears and angers and depressions and hatreds. This includes self

hatred. It is quite beneficial to release them and we can release

them by acknowledging their presence then changing their expression

through reversal.

 

Often we can see far beyond into the distance from where we were to

where we are and we will try to make sense of what the near future

Kundalini reality is going to be and how we will fit into this new

reality but we cannot as yet do so and once again we feel lost.

 

We are not lost even though it may feel that way. We are in

transition. As we continue into the process and open ourselves

completely into the process we are able to understand the agenda

more and more clearly. We are able to feel the new understandings as

bursts of light both in and outside of ourselves and as we begin to

make sense of the new double reality we begin to grow and flourish

inside of it.

 

Sometimes a person will not have the patience or the information to

do this and so the suicide numbers of K active people in the west

are somewhat staggering. 30 percent is the percentage I have been

given from my Kundalini. Thirty percent will simply kill themselves

due to the difficulty of redefining the life with in the Kundalini

context. This does not need to occur if you are reading this

information. Yes everyone is helped and everyone is given intuitive

or other forms of information on what to or what not to do but as

we in the west do not have an appreciation of the intuitive

qualities we are often not able to recognize the truth inside of the

intuitions. Therefore when we practice our " free choice " we often

will make a choice that can cause us and our loved ones severe

distress and much hardship.

 

We sometimes do this out of a quiet desperation. We see how the life

has been lived and it no longer measures up to our expectations.

Expectations that have been founded on a previous understanding of

life not a Kundalini understanding of life. The desperation can

grow and grow and it can eventually overtake a person's common sense

and they can become immersed into the downward spiral. This doesn't

need to happen if you are reading this.

 

You are being given an opportunity to reach another conclusion.

Killing the self solves no problems. Merely makes the problems much

harder to solve as now there is no " body " to do it with! Not to

mention the fact of what it does to those who love you and care for

you and depend upon you. Even those in the future whom your

patterns of probability would have guided you to meet, they no

longer meet you and they also suffer.

 

You must understand that the transformation process has certain

stages. These stages will occur in ways that are predictable though

each person has some variations along the theme that makes it

individual as well. As you go through the transformations the

feelings and problems that arise are to be worked on and

balanced.This how forgiveness can work for a person in this

scenario. As you work to forgive and balance some of these false

feelings of self abuse one can begin to understand some of the more

subtle foundations of these feelings and balance them out by

forgiving or becoming more tolerant or by loving more or by giving

loving service to others. Following the safety protocols in other

words.

 

As a person does this a very strong discernable light will appear at

the end of their personal tunnel of loneliness and pain. And from

this light they will begin to experience the first rays of the

divine Sun that comes into view as these issues are resolved. Riding

on these rays of this divine Sun is a form of love that surpasses

anything else one may have encountered. Love that the body can only

process through tears. This is called bliss. And it is one of the

first invitations of love from the Kundalini that a person can feel

as they come out from under the depressive and difficult rough edge

polishing's that can be experienced at the beginning with out any

previous expressive conditioning pre-Kundalini.

 

This is what awaits you. This is the golden light at the end of your

emotional and misperceived sources of pain. Do not believe your

feelings of loneliness or depression or feelings of not belonging.

Do not let your expanded awareness cause you to expand the issues

that need resolution into " greater than they are " expressions. Let

yourself understand that as you mature into the Kundalini your

understandings and interactions with those understandings will

increase until you are completely aware of who you are and how you

fit into the new reality that you are part of.

 

Do not hurt yourself due to impatience and a lack of understanding.

Give yourself time and be consistent and diligent in seeking your

balances. Do not lose hope no matter how long you may have been

feeling this way. Surrender your pain and your fears. No longer

attach any validity to them. They are not " of you " anymore. They are

merely ghosts of a reality that is no longer there. You are now

different and you have a gift that even though it doesn't feel like

one is one of the greatest gifts that can come to a person. And even

though it may feel like a struggle at first it is yours and it

belongs to you and is all about you. And you can do it and learn

from it and prosper inside of it.

 

Sometimes it isn't just the feelings of not belonging or of being

useless that cause the problems sometimes it is of the entity issues

that can come. This can make you think you're crazy. Your not crazy.

Entities exist and they come in all shapes sizes and agenda's. They

will attack you and pester you and scare you and watch you until you

are at your wits end! And if this goes on and on for years this will

indeed turn into a very long nightmare. This doesn't happen to

everyone though like the kriyas they only come to those that have

the propensity for them.

 

The most important rule I have learned from my entity interactions

and those of many others is to get used to them and no longer be

surprised. Trust that you are experiencing a phenomena that is real

but that it is merely the first rung of interaction with these

beings and as you detach your feelings and focus of this experience

being " super important " your attachment to them will diminish. Your

connection to them will fade and many of your interactions with them

will also fade as you pass into higher vibrational expressions.

 

Typically people cannot hear this information at first because of

the mind blowing shattered reality of their previous belief system

that discounted the possibility of any kind of entity existence. So

for a time they will need to experience this. If you are reading

this information then you need not suffer. You can begin to

surrender your attachments of fear to this situation and begin to

move through it. You no longer need to buy into the fear that almost

always attends these events. Never listen to the entities no matter

what is told to you. Never, never believe them. Just detach from

what you are seeing. Like paddling a canoe down the middle of the

river do not become attached to what is occurring on either side.

Just keep paddling.

 

The entity issues will last as long as the person buys into this

fear. When surrender comes, the act of surrender will release the

Kundalini traveler from this frequency of the astral experience.

 

This is the same with many of the issues that can cause one to end

their life because of the Kundalini awakening. Surrender to the

experience do not fight it no matter how strange it gets. And it can

get pretty strange! Surrender to it. Learn from it. Be ok with

it. And move on. Let me know if you have any concerns in these areas

mentioned or in other areas that are leading you to the edge of your

sanity and ability to handle and I will help you no matter what! No

matter where you are on this earth I can reach you. – blessings all -

chrism

[Guest guest]

Hello all

To make this article of chrism's even more worthwhile, I thought that we could add some practical advice, or our own stories of how we beat depression. In this way, we add positive action options for those of us that still grapple with the dark night.

Personally, I hit my last depression only two months ago. A dear friend of mine sent me an article - but the word that shone at me like a burning light in the intolerable darkness was 'integrity'. The word was the one that was missing from my armour and it built the foundation for the consequent events that have spun my life onto its new track.

The one before that was in July - and I thought that was the 'last one'. One thing we need to learn and that is to give up on expectations!

The Death of Me

 

I'll draw a picture of it one day. How it looks to me.But just now, I need to get it onto paper.I've been here before. Lying on a cold floor. Snot and saliva mixing in my hair. Tears wetting the floor boards and puffing up my eyes. I've screamed into the pillow. I've felt despondent afterwards. Sometimes relieved.Today I punched the pillow and my right shoulder blade still aches. I hit my head, not too violently, against the wall and the floor. I rubbed my face and eyes till it stopped relieving the stress of being inside of my body.I screamed into the pillow some more. I lay in fetal position and closed my eyes. I vomited up swallowed saliva.I'm mourning the death of me. And, because this is the information age – I want it here. I want it visible. I want it exposed and raw and real and – I want it to make a difference.So you can see, I'm still here. The do gooder still needs to die. But I'm working on it.

It was hell, but I realised that I could go lower still... and something, something pulls us back up - for me, at this time, it was a very special moment.

I was in my familiar position, screaming silently into a wooden floor board, and I cried give me a sign that this is all worth it. Give me a sign that - just something!!

then, yes, at the bottom - when I asked for help - I felt my heart stop, and there was a gentle squeeze - until it became uncomfortable - and then 'boom!' My heart was the proof - my heart was the proof - and I honestly, in that moment, felt the movement of an atom, and the wave its energy makes across the universe. In one heart beat.

How many times do we have to go there? Like says, its very personal - and he's right - without the torment of these moments, I would not be where I am today - so.. hmmm.

Just take it easy.

 

love

 

, "chrism" <> wrote:>> Kundalini will change your feelings about your life and your > interactive dynamics within the life you are living. It will have a > way of amplifying those issues that may need the most work from you > at any given time. > >

[Guest guest]

What is

happening to me? Why am I crying all day

and night ? Why do I feel as if my world

as I know it is lost? I have lost

everything – my job – my community –my so called friends- my savings-my house ,my

spirit and now am I losing my mind? God

you have gone too far this is not funny it is serious – I have had enough I can't

take it any more I want you to stop – get me out of here!!!

Yes these

were questions and feelings I had the early part of this year even while I was

working with chrism – I come from a long line of negativity and depression

sometimes I wonder if it is in my DNA.

There seemed

to be no way out of all of this depression- I contemplated suicide – I would

lay in bed and plan my method –making sure all details were covered. My only concern was my bird Geno – I did not

feel I had the right to decide his fate – so I talked with a friend and made

arrangements that if I did indeed decide to check out she would take care of

Geno. I was fortunate to have a friend

to discuss things with we both saw our lives as painful and lonely and in my case not knowing what I was

to do or not knowing where I would land nor how the Kundalini was going to

guide me – we discussed how suicide would offer a solution for both of us –

During all

of this was my steadfast guide – chrism – supporting, explaining how the Kundalini

was affecting me , lecturing , reassuring, helping me to focus – showing patience beyond

belief, showing me unconditional love and care – and me feeling unworthy – especially

after my surrender to work with chrism and even now as I struggle to surrender more deeply .

So why am I still

here? Why have I not joined the 30% of k

suicides? Actually I am not quite sure

of the why. Other than there has been a

shift in my self – it seemed to solidify when my brother died- the crying is

much less – when I feel a cry come on it lasts only a few moments then I go on

with whatever I was doing – very strange to me – I find I long for contact with

other Kundalini folks - the sharing that

takes place raises my feelings of purpose – purpose that is what I know is

needed to want to stay around –for the past year and a half I have had a

purpose in my mind – to work with the KAS program – living long never intrigued

me until now –I am not interested in long life for me so much as having the

opportunity to serve as a vehicle for

the Kundalini to help others enjoy a safe and supportive and love based journey

..

One big

difference between me and others seems to be the fact that I am out front and

verbal about anything Kundalini – and yet I experience some of the same issues – the depression,

the desperate feelings, the aloneness, the not fitting in, feeling apart from

all around me – I can only imagine how those who are not able to speak to the Kundalini

or share it or understand what is happening must feel –

Chrism says

service and forgiveness are important keys to a smooth journey of Kundalini-

forgiveness is one of the traits I struggle with as do many- service is part of

who I am – and I have found that helping with the healing conferences and

working with chrism on the KAS1 program seem to be services I can offer- and

that greatly affect me in a positive manner

I want all

who are in the throes of despair to know that you do not have to become a

statistic – you have a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the gift of Kundalini you

have been given –you have a guide and a community who are willing to support

and love you no matter what terrible vile thoughts you might have – chrism is

willing to take on all your fears all your pain all your negativity in

surrender –

I encourage

you to read and read and read the posts and the articles written by chrism

there is love in every word – there is hope in every word – you are not alone –

 

AND you have

this community – here are people who have felt and experienced many of the same

things you are going through – you are not alone

AND please

if anyone needs a listener contact me. I

am still learning I am still in process yet I do understand the feelings, the

fearfulness, the inability to surrender- I, like you, am trying to find my way,

trying to surrender to Kundalini

Chrism in

his article on suicide within the Kundalini journey offers a number of things

to do to reverse the feelings of negativity – acknowledge the feelings- use a

reversal to offset the feelings – surrender to the feelings – use the

information given by chrism to understand what is happening and to work through it

– you have choice always – Kundalini will direct the path, you can choose how

you view the gift – there are many roads to accepting this gift – a new life –

a new paradigm of living – your task is to find a road that fits your views –

Think it –

say it – write it – do it – be it… you decide there are many who have survived

the tests – here in this community – the folks I have met, shared with and read on this group are all strong, loving,

beautiful souls – each and everyone - you are not alone – you have a loving

supportive guide and a loving supportive community – you are blessed not only

have you been given a gift of Kundalini you have been given a gift of a Kundalini

family – a family that tolerates, forgives and is grateful for you - for your presence – for your struggles- for

your needs- for your pain- for the lessons you offer to all of us - you are not alone –

I have been

there – I am here…

 

[Guest guest]

My suicidal fantasies began sometime in my early teens, a time when I

felt misunderstood by most people, especially my parents. These

thoughts subsided almost completely for the last two years, and have

resurfaced intensely in the last month or so. I am doing my best to

focus on the positive, and then one little internal conflict will

trigger the " I want to die. I can't deal with this anymore " thoughts.

I have been getting stuck in the thoughts of one thing " being wrong "

to then everything being wrong, nothing making sense. I used to drink

and get high to cope with these things. Now I am attempting to

balance myself without self medicating. I feel I am making progress.

Each time I move through an urge to do something irrational, I feel

stronger. I am learning not to identify with the suicidal thoughts,

and move on with my daily activities. I am exercising regularly,

which is helping.

 

With my recent entity interaction...I was not consciously feeling or

seeing them. I didn't know I was interacting with them. I just

thought I was losing it. Sometimes I feel like I am being followed

and have, at times, walked faster, thinking I am getting away. Lol.

I've been attempting to surrender my fear and balance these situations

by thinking of how free and joyful I felt when dancing around as a

young girl.

 

Self hate...something I need to work on. I have had a tendency to

consciously beat myself up in the past, telling myself all sorts of

criticisms. It wasn't always that way, I am trying to remember how I

felt about myself before all of the negative self talk started.

 

Memories have surfaced and resurfaced, times I was less than loving

to people. I am working on forgiving myself, have made some direct

and indirect amends. At times I feel like I get close to releasing

some of this stuff, sometimes I cry and feel some relief. At other

times it feels like it gets stuck in my throat. I guess somewhere I

still hold the idea that I am unforgivable. Working on surrendering

this...

 

Jessica

 

 

 

 

 

 

, " chrism "

<> wrote:

>

> Kundalini will change your feelings about your life and your

> interactive dynamics within the life you are living. It will have a

> way of amplifying those issues that may need the most work from you

> at any given time.

>

> This if it isn't understood or is blocked from the individual due to

> other outside forces can become a road towards a miscommunication

> within the individual.

>

> It is very, very important not to allow yourself to fall into the

> deep depressions that can occur. We may feel as if we do not belong.

> We may feel as if we are not good enough. We may feel as if life has

> no meaning anymore. These are " caused " by the Kundalini as it seeks

> to transform the person and in this transformation a feeling of not

> belonging or being viable inside of the current reality can often be

> felt as the one reality becomes the two.

>

> We can begin to feel very hopeless and unconnected. It isn't true

> but it " feels " as if it is true. And it is this feeling as with

> other feelings that I advise people to not partake of unless it is a

> way of releasing it from there expressions and systems. Choice is

> always there for you to have. You can choose to focus on what you

> wish and yes it may take some effort but inside of the Kundalini you

> may find it a very rewarding effort.

>

> If you need to get these self hurtful expressions out then do so!

> THEN move on. Go into your internal joy your IJ and begin to FIND

> the self love and the self respect and the self meaning in your life

> from a new platform. Too often we can get caught up into the idea

> that these aspects of change are " not right " because they feel

> strange and then the feelings that come from that change will form

> to suit from your expectations and they will not be right. Then the

> person can obsess on these patterns of self induced depressive

> feelings.

>

> This will often be amplified by the Kundalini infusion as it brings

> these most personal issues to the surface by dislodging them from

> the secret little places where we hide them in our consciousness.

> Bringing our darkest thoughts to the surface to be cleansed by the

> light. Sometimes we want to hang on to these aspects of our Shadow

> Selves. Sometimes we do not yet feel ready to let go of the familiar

> fears and angers and depressions and hatreds. This includes self

> hatred. It is quite beneficial to release them and we can release

> them by acknowledging their presence then changing their expression

> through reversal.

>

> Often we can see far beyond into the distance from where we were to

> where we are and we will try to make sense of what the near future

> Kundalini reality is going to be and how we will fit into this new

> reality but we cannot as yet do so and once again we feel lost.

>

> We are not lost even though it may feel that way. We are in

> transition. As we continue into the process and open ourselves

> completely into the process we are able to understand the agenda

> more and more clearly. We are able to feel the new understandings as

> bursts of light both in and outside of ourselves and as we begin to

> make sense of the new double reality we begin to grow and flourish

> inside of it.

>

> Sometimes a person will not have the patience or the information to

> do this and so the suicide numbers of K active people in the west

> are somewhat staggering. 30 percent is the percentage I have been

> given from my Kundalini. Thirty percent will simply kill themselves

> due to the difficulty of redefining the life with in the Kundalini

> context. This does not need to occur if you are reading this

> information. Yes everyone is helped and everyone is given intuitive

> or other forms of information on what to or what not to do but as

> we in the west do not have an appreciation of the intuitive

> qualities we are often not able to recognize the truth inside of the

> intuitions. Therefore when we practice our " free choice " we often

> will make a choice that can cause us and our loved ones severe

> distress and much hardship.

>

> We sometimes do this out of a quiet desperation. We see how the life

> has been lived and it no longer measures up to our expectations.

> Expectations that have been founded on a previous understanding of

> life not a Kundalini understanding of life. The desperation can

> grow and grow and it can eventually overtake a person's common sense

> and they can become immersed into the downward spiral. This doesn't

> need to happen if you are reading this.

>

> You are being given an opportunity to reach another conclusion.

> Killing the self solves no problems. Merely makes the problems much

> harder to solve as now there is no " body " to do it with! Not to

> mention the fact of what it does to those who love you and care for

> you and depend upon you. Even those in the future whom your

> patterns of probability would have guided you to meet, they no

> longer meet you and they also suffer.

>

> You must understand that the transformation process has certain

> stages. These stages will occur in ways that are predictable though

> each person has some variations along the theme that makes it

> individual as well. As you go through the transformations the

> feelings and problems that arise are to be worked on and

> balanced.This how forgiveness can work for a person in this

> scenario. As you work to forgive and balance some of these false

> feelings of self abuse one can begin to understand some of the more

> subtle foundations of these feelings and balance them out by

> forgiving or becoming more tolerant or by loving more or by giving

> loving service to others. Following the safety protocols in other

> words.

>

> As a person does this a very strong discernable light will appear at

> the end of their personal tunnel of loneliness and pain. And from

> this light they will begin to experience the first rays of the

> divine Sun that comes into view as these issues are resolved. Riding

> on these rays of this divine Sun is a form of love that surpasses

> anything else one may have encountered. Love that the body can only

> process through tears. This is called bliss. And it is one of the

> first invitations of love from the Kundalini that a person can feel

> as they come out from under the depressive and difficult rough edge

> polishing's that can be experienced at the beginning with out any

> previous expressive conditioning pre-Kundalini.

>

> This is what awaits you. This is the golden light at the end of your

> emotional and misperceived sources of pain. Do not believe your

> feelings of loneliness or depression or feelings of not belonging.

> Do not let your expanded awareness cause you to expand the issues

> that need resolution into " greater than they are " expressions. Let

> yourself understand that as you mature into the Kundalini your

> understandings and interactions with those understandings will

> increase until you are completely aware of who you are and how you

> fit into the new reality that you are part of.

>

> Do not hurt yourself due to impatience and a lack of understanding.

> Give yourself time and be consistent and diligent in seeking your

> balances. Do not lose hope no matter how long you may have been

> feeling this way. Surrender your pain and your fears. No longer

> attach any validity to them. They are not " of you " anymore. They are

> merely ghosts of a reality that is no longer there. You are now

> different and you have a gift that even though it doesn't feel like

> one is one of the greatest gifts that can come to a person. And even

> though it may feel like a struggle at first it is yours and it

> belongs to you and is all about you. And you can do it and learn

> from it and prosper inside of it.

>

> Sometimes it isn't just the feelings of not belonging or of being

> useless that cause the problems sometimes it is of the entity issues

> that can come. This can make you think you're crazy. Your not crazy.

> Entities exist and they come in all shapes sizes and agenda's. They

> will attack you and pester you and scare you and watch you until you

> are at your wits end! And if this goes on and on for years this will

> indeed turn into a very long nightmare. This doesn't happen to

> everyone though like the kriyas they only come to those that have

> the propensity for them.

>

> The most important rule I have learned from my entity interactions

> and those of many others is to get used to them and no longer be

> surprised. Trust that you are experiencing a phenomena that is real

> but that it is merely the first rung of interaction with these

> beings and as you detach your feelings and focus of this experience

> being " super important " your attachment to them will diminish. Your

> connection to them will fade and many of your interactions with them

> will also fade as you pass into higher vibrational expressions.

>

> Typically people cannot hear this information at first because of

> the mind blowing shattered reality of their previous belief system

> that discounted the possibility of any kind of entity existence. So

> for a time they will need to experience this. If you are reading

> this information then you need not suffer. You can begin to

> surrender your attachments of fear to this situation and begin to

> move through it. You no longer need to buy into the fear that almost

> always attends these events. Never listen to the entities no matter

> what is told to you. Never, never believe them. Just detach from

> what you are seeing. Like paddling a canoe down the middle of the

> river do not become attached to what is occurring on either side.

> Just keep paddling.

>

> The entity issues will last as long as the person buys into this

> fear. When surrender comes, the act of surrender will release the

> Kundalini traveler from this frequency of the astral experience.

>

> This is the same with many of the issues that can cause one to end

> their life because of the Kundalini awakening. Surrender to the

> experience do not fight it no matter how strange it gets. And it can

> get pretty strange! Surrender to it. Learn from it. Be ok with

> it. And move on. Let me know if you have any concerns in these areas

> mentioned or in other areas that are leading you to the edge of your

> sanity and ability to handle and I will help you no matter what! No

> matter where you are on this earth I can reach you. – blessings all -

> chrism

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

 

thanks for sharing everyone..its good to read your stories and wow..I

had no idea that something like 30% of K. people commit suicide. I can

relate to the stories; it often got vry dark for me where there seemed

no hope and meaning in the world, usually after periods, sometimes

weeks of grinding tension. The deepest transformations would always

come after the snake bit me in my dreams.. (I really had a love-hate

relationship with the serpant.. ha..)..

 

I never really came close to acting on suicide, but I had a lot of

thoughts of just 'why not end it'. I found that the shifts would come

when i stopped turning away from the feeling, when I stopped letting

the negative thoughts drive me, and I somehow found the strength and

willingness to hold whatever was arising, without wishing for it to go

away, just to open to the experience as fully as I could, and to become

deeply curious about what was happening. That moment when I stopped the

inner recoil was the end of my suffering, and thats when I would shift

soon after..

 

now things are okay. Its been about 2 months since my last 'dark

spell', and there are lesser disturbances now, but life is mostly okay

anand enjoyable

 

love

Bruce

[Guest guest]

Nice to read Bruce! I as well found solace through surrender and

allowing the prcess to go forward unhindered by my ego and fears. -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

, " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom wrote:

>

> Hi,

>

> thanks for sharing everyone..its good to read your stories and

wow..I

> had no idea that something like 30% of K. people commit suicide. I

can

> relate to the stories; it often got vry dark for me where there

seemed

> no hope and meaning in the world, usually after periods, sometimes

> weeks of grinding tension. The deepest transformations would

always

> come after the snake bit me in my dreams.. (I really had a love-

hate

> relationship with the serpant.. ha..)..

>

> I never really came close to acting on suicide, but I had a lot of

> thoughts of just 'why not end it'. I found that the shifts would

come

> when i stopped turning away from the feeling, when I stopped

letting

> the negative thoughts drive me, and I somehow found the strength

and

> willingness to hold whatever was arising, without wishing for it

to go

> away, just to open to the experience as fully as I could, and to

become

> deeply curious about what was happening. That moment when I

stopped the

> inner recoil was the end of my suffering, and thats when I would

shift

> soon after..

>

> now things are okay. Its been about 2 months since my last 'dark

> spell', and there are lesser disturbances now, but life is mostly

okay

> anand enjoyable

>

> love

> Bruce

>

[Guest guest]

Hi All,I do some work in this area and have worked with people who found it very difficult to let it go - to let K happen. Am unaware personally of anybody doing suicide but am sure it happens. I do think there are many factors involved, karma and inability to accept that the " world " is not all what we can " see " .

I do other kinds of work in related areas and have seen how people suffer because of a fixation in a belief in the physical world. I am inclined to think that suicide is the " closing of the physical world " for a person in the K zone. Think people find it hard to accept the multiplicity of our existence, physical, mental, spiritual etc. If you are K active, you can(must) reside in at least 2 places(worlds) at once.

A short story; A psychologist had a client, a family worried about their child.. Their young son, aged 11 years was " seeing " his dead grandfather in an old rocking chair. The kid never knew the old guy, his description matched and could point him in photos, The family doctor had the kid on some kind of medicine - " to calm him " . Kid was on it for 2 years and it affected him at school, became a " slow learner and accident prone " . The kid was referred to the psychologist because his family doctor changed and the new doctor did not want to continue to give " heavy medication " to the kid.

When the parents were asked what did they think happened when somebody dies - they said, both churchgoers, that you get buried, end of story. Heaven talk was just for kids, they were adults!The grandfather was still at the house - the kid was right. His parents were killing him with loving kindness, trying to stop his weirdness.

Who was weirder the parents or the kid? Because of our own fears, our conditioning, we are often " locked " into a belief system and sadly, suicide is often the only option for some.Strange place. Tkare.

Daniel2008/12/3 chrism <>

 

 

 

 

Nice to read Bruce! I as well found solace through surrender and

allowing the prcess to go forward unhindered by my ego and fears. -

 

 

, " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom wrote:

>

> Hi,

>

> thanks for sharing everyone..its good to read your stories and

wow..I

> had no idea that something like 30% of K. people commit suicide. I

can

> relate to the stories; it often got vry dark for me where there

seemed

> no hope and meaning in the world, usually after periods, sometimes

> weeks of grinding tension. The deepest transformations would

always

> come after the snake bit me in my dreams.. (I really had a love-

hate

> relationship with the serpant.. ha..)..

>

> I never really came close to acting on suicide, but I had a lot of

> thoughts of just 'why not end it'. I found that the shifts would

come

> when i stopped turning away from the feeling, when I stopped

letting

> the negative thoughts drive me, and I somehow found the strength

and

> willingness to hold whatever was arising, without wishing for it

to go

> away, just to open to the experience as fully as I could, and to

become

> deeply curious about what was happening. That moment when I

stopped the

> inner recoil was the end of my suffering, and thats when I would

shift

> soon after..

>

> now things are okay. Its been about 2 months since my last 'dark

> spell', and there are lesser disturbances now, but life is mostly

okay

> anand enjoyable

>

> love

> Bruce

>

 

 

 

 

-- A work in progress - www.4allthatmatters.com - just like me---------------------

Join in the fun of raising money for your charity – could be the charity's biggest fundraising day.Visit www.thepalateclub.com today to find out more.

[Guest guest]

Good morning all,

I have had a bit of an epiphany this morning about my thought-based reality. Although I did not dwell on it, I wondered about "why do bad things happen to good people". Although this is probably kindergarten stuff to most on this group, it is eye-opening for me this morning. I am now aware that before I was awakened things did "happen" to me, things that I did not feel were fair, or good, or right. Now I realize that was BEFORE I cleared my karma. Now I can understand disease, natural disaster, and sheer "bad luck". Yes, my present actions can be influenced by my past to the extent I let them, and yes, my present actions will influence my future. That is why the "now" is so important for me. That is why the spiritual work has dammed the flood that swept me downstream for so many years. The flood is a manageable stream now. Holes may appear in the dam, and with my spiritual tools, I can repair

them, or choose to let them remain, with the possiibility they may eventually break open the flood gates, and cause the rushing waters to swoop down on me again. It is my choice, and a moment to moment choice. (free will) I read in a previous post about mixing k healing with spiritual healing, something to be avoided. Yet for me, k healing is amplified spiritual healing. What began as tenuous prayers for health and healing for myself and others, offered to God in hopes something might cause Him to help in these situations, has become a powerful force, an energy field connecting me with the Divine. Before I ran around with my hair on fire, and now the depiction of the flame rising from the crown in Chrism's picture, has triggered this awareness of the containment, much like the calming of the flood. I imagine most on this group knew they were different at a very young age. Many of us set our hair on fire

trying to understand, and were almost consumed in the flames. But we are here now, and God is revealing more each day through these posts, healing conferences, and group cohesion. As in any family, we do not all have to agree on every single issue; but there is a collective thread running through. Gratitude for the stream of life and spiritual flame.

 

Blessings to all, healing to all, and the greatest of these, love to all.

Julie--- On Mon, 12/8/08, daniel nagle <rkundalini wrote:

daniel nagle <rkundaliniRe: Re: Kundalini Induced Suicide Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 8:46 AM

 

 

Hi All,I do some work in this area and have worked with people who found it very difficult to let it go - to let K happen. Am unaware personally of anybody doing suicide but am sure it happens. I do think there are many factors involved, karma and inabi>-- A work in progress - www.4allthatmatters .com - just like me------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------Join in the fun of raising money for your charity – could be the charity's biggest fundraising day.Visit www.thepalateclub. com today to find out more.

[Guest guest]

Good Point Daniel,

And it is so true especially with Kundalini people

needing to be comfortable walking in the 2 worlds. Actually it is

a " double dimensions " composed of zillions of worlds apeice. As a

beginning K person it is needed to become at peice with some high

strangness in ones life.

 

This can be a bit unnerving and scary but one gets accustomed to it.

Nice post Daniel. - chrism

[Guest guest]

Thanks Chrism,

 

I enjoyed your post Julie.Tkare, Daniel2008/12/8 chrism <>

 

 

 

 

Good Point Daniel,

And it is so true especially with Kundalini people

needing to be comfortable walking in the 2 worlds. Actually it is

a " double dimensions " composed of zillions of worlds apeice. As a

beginning K person it is needed to become at peice with some high

strangness in ones life.

 

This can be a bit unnerving and scary but one gets accustomed to it.

Nice post Daniel. - chrism

 

 

 

 

-- A work in progress - www.4allthatmatters.com - just like me---------------------

Join in the fun of raising money for your charity – could be the charity's biggest fundraising day.Visit www.thepalateclub.com today to find out more.