I'm not me-

[Guest guest]

This is very difficult to explain, but today I was in the middle of work going about my business when I had this feeling of realization that I am not Sarita. I am not this person who is a mother, wife, daughter, worker. The question that came on the heals of that was "Who am I then?!" The one thought that came strongly was that at some point in time I decided to "go online" as this being, but it is not who I really am. I felt almost as though I was going to separate from my body. I felt like I was falling into an abyss.

Work was not the ideal place for this to occur, LOL. I will probably explore it further when I am alone (if I ever am, haha). Is this a normal part of the process? Is there anything I should or should not do?

Sarita

[Guest guest]

Sarita:

When a person takes on more and more of the Kundalini connection to

the high self - the individual ego self becomes less and less of a

focal point.

 

This is part of the process soon you should be able to shift

consciously between the two sets of identity.

 

As this occurs more frequently a person will begin to be able to

recognize the differences between the two and can act upon those

differences in a most appropriate way for the time that it occurs.

-no worries, blessings chrism

 

 

dictated by chrism...

[Guest guest]

Wow, Sarita. You're in a differnt place. I'm not chrism, obviously

but wanted to respond. I've been there though I can't say I felt I'd

leave my body but I did have a rather light-headed feeling.

Confusion, I think. I know exactly that feeling of " I'm not this

thing I seem to be to everyone else " and sometimes wish I could just

get out of it all (without dying, I mean). Along with it goes a

loathing of things physical sometimes, like eating, sleeping,

elimination, sex, consumerism, etc. But what's the alternative,

really? I usually snap out of it in a day. I still get it once in a

while but seem to have been able to merge this two different

feelings. I assume it's a sort of soul self-realization, knowing

itself, another phase of reawakening. Not that we shouldn't be " who

we are " in this life we took on. I've sort of learned to live with

and accept that it is a part of me, not an alien thing. I'm sure

chrism will have a more indepth assessment of what's going on here

but I thought I'd at least share my own experience. For what it's

worth. You aren't alone. You never are really.

Much love, Sarita. Love will bring you through.

Valarie

[Guest guest]

Thanks Valarie, this definately helped! I am so grateful that I can discuss these things here and be understood. It sure takes the pressure off all the strangeness.

Sarita

, "Valarie Vousden" <vjvousden wrote:>> Wow, Sarita. You're in a differnt place. I'm not chrism, obviously > but wanted to respond. I've been there though I can't say I felt I'd > leave my body but I did have a rather light-headed feeling. > Confusion, I think. I know exactly that feeling of "I'm not this > thing I seem to be to everyone else" and sometimes wish I could just > get out of it all (without dying, I mean). Along with it goes a > loathing of things physical sometimes, like eating, sleeping, > elimination, sex, consumerism, etc. But what's the alternative, > really? I usually snap out of it in a day. I still get it once in a > while but seem to have been able to merge this two different > feelings. I assume it's a sort of soul self-realization, knowing > itself, another phase of reawakening. Not that we shouldn't be "who > we are" in this life we took on. I've sort of learned to live with > and accept that it is a part of me, not an alien thing. I'm sure > chrism will have a more indepth assessment of what's going on here > but I thought I'd at least share my own experience. For what it's > worth. You aren't alone. You never are really.> Much love, Sarita. Love will bring you through.> Valarie>

[Guest guest]

I think this is great, you were realising that the "you" is really illusion, you are infact an infinite being, part of the one creator, beyond names and ego.I would think the first part of that is a felling of no identity, of floating in the void of nothingness.Exciting times!Blessings and nothingnesselektra x x x

[Guest guest]

Dear Sarita,

I think it is pretty cool that you have become the "observer". To observe yourself from the outside, and realize that physical is the container for your spirit is amazing. BTW, thank you for the angel you sent me during the healing conference. I can still feel her presence. Maybe you are being released from your body to enable your healing work. Just a thought.

 

xxoo

Julie--- On Tue, 12/9/08, Sarita <sarita1969 wrote:

Sarita <sarita1969 I'm not me-Chrism Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 3:58 PM

 

 

 

This is very difficult to explain, but today I was in the middle of work going about my business when I had this feeling of realization that I am not Sarita. I am not this person who is a mother, wife, daughter, worker. The question that came on the heals of that was "Who am I then?!" The one thought that came strongly was that at some point in time I decided to "go online" as this being, but it is not who I really am. I felt almost as though I was going to separate from my body. I felt like I was falling into an abyss.

Work was not the ideal place for this to occur, LOL. I will probably explore it further when I am alone (if I ever am, haha). Is this a normal part of the process? Is there anything I should or should not do?

Sarita

[Guest guest]

Sarita,

 

I've had this experience as well from time to time. It's usually a

feeling that I'm an actor in a drama or that I downloaded my

awareness into this physical vehicle to have these various

experiences called " life " , like an avatar in an online virtual

reality. It's often accompanied with a sense that behind it all I am

really a much vaster being and that perhaps that part of me that

identifies with this body is just a small part of me and that there

are other parts of my being " out there " having other experiences

elsewhere.

 

Sometimes it's just a sense/knowing/feeling of myself as vaster than

my body (my awareness moves around, but is often somewhere around my

head), watching myself and others participating in life.

 

Other times it's like catching a glimpse of being part of a vast

intelligence or inifinite awareness (you can " feel " that it's

infinite and that you are part of it -- doesn't mean you actually

have infinite awareness -- just feel like you're a part of it). All

the things that mattered yesterday seem incredibly small and

irrelevant.

 

In any case, it definitely makes all the " all-encompassing " concerns

of most people around me seem extraordinarily trivial and

unimportant. I remember once " seeing " my parents from this

perspective and experiencing immense compassion for them. I

saw/felt/knew they were trapped in identification with who they were

for this incarnation, believing they actually were who they thought

they were. I wanted to tell them that all the things that so

concerned them didn't matter at all, were miniscule, kind of

spiritually soothe their brows. But they'd just look at me strangely

and not understand (or not notice what I said at all -- that

sometimes happens too) -- they have no frame of reference to be told

that this is all an illusion and a dream. So I just kind of hung out

with them feeling love for them and it seemed to help soothe their

inner brows anyway.

 

As you drift away from thinking you are this body and its associated

roles and dramas, you get into what I like to call " just visiting "

mode.

 

Personally, I welcome these experiences. If I'm alone, I just go

with it and enjoy it, let the meditation happen. If I'm in public, I

let it happen but try to remain aware of my surroundings, fill my

heart and radiate. If I'm driving, I do the tongue and finger locks

and I might bite my cheeks if I'm really drifting dangerously out of

body awareness. I find that for me, mantra helps to both deepen the

experience and keep my attention from just wandering off into the

void. It often allows me to continue to function externally

(sometimes just barely, but no one else seems to notice) while

inwardly I'm elsewhere.

 

David

[Guest guest]

Makes a lot of sense O' Firey One!

Sarita

, Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote:>> I think this is great, you were realising that the "you" is really illusion, you are infact an infinite being, part of the one creator, beyond names and ego.> I would think the first part of that is a felling of no identity, of floating in the void of nothingness.> Exciting times!> Blessings and nothingness> elektra x x x>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Julie, some good thoughts. I can' t take credit for the angel though, I think Shakti sent her. What do you think her purpose might be for you?

Sarita

, Julie <jewelport wrote:>> Dear Sarita,> I think it is pretty cool that you have become the "observer". To observe yourself from the outside, and realize that physical is the container for your spirit is amazing. BTW, thank you for the angel you sent me during the healing conference. I can still feel her presence. Maybe you are being released from your body to enable your healing work. Just a thought.> > xxoo> > > Julie> > --- On Tue, 12/9/08, Sarita sarita1969 wrote:> > Sarita sarita1969 I'm not me-Chrism> > Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 3:58 PM> > > > > > > > This is very difficult to explain, but today I was in the middle of work going about my business when I had this feeling of realization that I am not Sarita. I am not this person who is a mother, wife, daughter, worker. The question that came on the heals of that was "Who am I then?!" The one thought that came strongly was that at some point in time I decided to "go online" as this being, but it is not who I really am. I felt almost as though I was going to separate from my body. I felt like I was falling into an abyss.> Work was not the ideal place for this to occur, LOL. I will probably explore it further when I am alone (if I ever am, haha). Is this a normal part of the process? Is there anything I should or should not do?> Sarita>

[Guest guest]

Wow, thank you so much David! The first paragraph of your post describes it almost exactly! I was having a hard time putting it into words, but this really feels right.

It's not that I don't enjoy the journey, but I feel as though I often get blind sided by some of these experiences. Maybe a lesson in flexibility for me.

Sarita

, "djgottlieb" <dgottlieb wrote:>> Sarita,> > I've had this experience as well from time to time. It's usually a > feeling that I'm an actor in a drama or that I downloaded my > awareness into this physical vehicle to have these various > experiences called "life", like an avatar in an online virtual > reality. It's often accompanied with a sense that behind it all I am > really a much vaster being and that perhaps that part of me that > identifies with this body is just a small part of me and that there > are other parts of my being "out there" having other experiences > elsewhere.> > Sometimes it's just a sense/knowing/feeling of myself as vaster than > my body (my awareness moves around, but is often somewhere around my > head), watching myself and others participating in life.>