Hello to all and about me.

[Guest guest]

Hi people.

Im 27 male and in London. I have many questions because im not sure

where i am or where i am meant to be going with this, and i have had

a bit of trouble along the way.

 

When i was younger i met up with a group of people who were to me

" hippies " 2 of them im sure i was meant to meet as it gave me a kick

start in this lifetime. ill give you a breif summary of my experiances to date.

 

I was introduced to " spirituality " when i was 14 when i crossed paths

with someone who i had died with in a previous life. She told me about

this and i had a vision of us in the sea at night before we drowned.

I got hold of some crystals and meditated with an amythist one night

and the feild of energy started to travel up my arm and surround my body

this repeated untill the feild was a big as the room and vibrating, i got

up and switched the light on because i was scared.

A guy put his middle fingers in the centre of my palms and i saw rainbow

slides click in from the bottom left,right and top of my vision.

A few other times i remember vibrating very fast in my body although i

was not actually moving, i would like to know what this was, its like i

was shaking forwards and backwards about an inch yet i wasnt moving.

Another time the woman showed me a technique where i looked into a

mirror at myself with low light (candles) and my face went blurry

and out of the many other faces and scenes came forward. one of them

came forward and turned to her as if it recognised her

(maybe from when we died).

 

This was quite alot for me to take in at that age and i felt that

i had to embrace it all or leave it for a while. i wanted to grow

up a bit with my freind, get laid and drunk etc like all my other

freinds where doing, i didnt want to be an outcast or to make life

difficult for my mother and father who would think i was being weird.

 

over ten years passed and in that time i did alot of reading and

there were many things that i believed in due to my first hand

experiances. I live in a shared house and the housemates had gone

to bed and i saw a crystal on the side that one of them had been

given as a gift from someones egypt holiday. i picked it up and

thought, oh what the hell and went to my room to meditate with it

and i was relaxed and ready for it, i let myself go and had a great

OOBE (i tried many times before but thought i would never be able

to do it) it was night and i was floating in the air by a river

and i could feel the palm trees blowing in the wind and i was face

up looking at the stars on a really clear night it i knew i was

having an oobe and i felt so so calm and happy it was so nice.

 

After this experiance it spurned me on to get back on the road so to

speak and i started ordering books from amazon and reading online.

i was reading a book " RA - Law of one " one night and there was a

part in it about forgiveness and progressing and to forgive yourself

and others in order to progress. i put the book down and lay there

forgiving my fater and myself and others for past things, and as i

did so a golden warmth surrounded me and cradled me it was so love

it felt like love. i can understand how people have spiritual

experiances from books that resonate with them because i had one.

it was a real experiance. The book also spoke about chakras which

i had allways read about but never felt so i just thought was

mumbo jumbo. because of the previous experiance i had had from

reading i knew that they were real and when i put the book down

and relaxed i could feel the warm energy points on my body,

i was so amaized.

 

I posted about this in a forum and someone mentioned about

visualising white light comming down from the top of your head.

I did this one night and i can only describe it as

" intelligent menthol white smoke " it came in from the top and

then it went on its way down my body stopping at each chakra

for a while then moving on, when it got to my chest it was

there for a while and then i felt it light up one side, as

if it had turned a switch on or fixed one side of it pretty cool!

 

Now here is where my trouble started. i did this again one night

with the intention to become more spiritually aware.

with crystals over my chakras that matched the colours roughly.

when i drew the white light in from my crown it wouldnt go

past the brow and stayed there, i tried to move it but it

stayed there and i felt pressure on my brow. i had a vision

of eyes making contact with me and then as if someone was

standing on my head. i stopped hte whole process and went to bed.

 

The next day i awoke in a terrible state, my vision was blurred

i had fear and anxiety and my own thoughts scared me. i know that

initially i made it worse by worrying all the time but i thought

something was terribly wrong. It was worse when i was going to

sleep because as i relaxed i had eyes make contact with my mind,

i would hear the odd few words spoken in my mind and other

things, i would look away or do somthing as i was scared. i

couldnt sleep without the light on tv and radio hehe.

i was in a bad way for about a month

anxiety, depression, fear, panic attacks, blurred vision

(like vertigo?) head tingles, face tingles(really weird).

pain at the front of head and at the back (pineal spot)

i had hard time

at work and i couldnt tell the doctor what i had done so i sort of

took it on as a real life problem, that i was suffering from anxiety.

like i said this passed after a month and one day out of the blue

i got a phonecall about a crystal course. i had boxed all my crystals

away out of fear and this call to me i thought was a sign so i went.

it was a 2 day course and i learnt how to use a pendulum which would

lead me to the same spot on card when i touched it not looking

" guidance " . i also used a crystal med to meet my guides, another

first for me as i didnt believe in them when people spoke about them.

i asked them to make themselves known to me and one rubbed my chee

k and the other rubbed my arm. it was very emotional for me.

I thought i was fine after this course but the next day i was back

in that bad place, and i was there for about another month. certain

things would set me off but recently i have been fine the only thing

that stays with me is the fear. im scared of doing anything

meditation or otherwise because when im doing it i get the fear

that i am going to be messed up for a month. i also didnt feel in

control of my mind when i was in this state before.

 

a few nights back i was laying in bed and i let myself go abit.

all of my body felt light apart from this one spot where i would

get the headaches and pains before, on the left side of my head,

it felt like a dull block, left of my eye and temple. i still get

a feeling at the back of the head as well and putting my hand on

the back of my head seems to help for some reason. i found when

i was in my bad place i would do this alot have my hands on the

back of my head.

 

Almost everyone i spoke to about kundulini warned me about it

saying that its dangerous etc once you set it off thats it it can

make you go mad, and ive got a real fear of the word.

but someone directed me here, and looking at the posts it seems

that a few people know there stuff.

 

im sorry if ive rambled on too much but ive got it out in the open

i live with and work with people who would think i am mad if i spoke

about this to them, its kind of a lonely hobby hehe. and i seemed

to have messed up like someone attempting DIY.

 

anyway please comment and try not to leave negative comments

because it does put a bit of fear into me when i think i could

have damaged myself permenantly. ive posted on a couple of spirit

sites and people seem to think it could be releated to my pasty life

however i do not know, and i feel its due to what i did.

 

many thanks people

 

mark

[Guest guest]

Welcome Mark,

 

thank you for your story. It touched my heart. Do the safities, they work so

god. When I was afraid I found courage to trust here in this group and in the

safities. Now I go to work and feel fine, I do not think so much, am I am. I

trust the way things are in the NOW, do some very god cooking, smile and feel

love for the nature and the sky. I let things be as they are and surrender to

the love of the Kundalini. Do not seperate yourself in mind from all that is.

You are life and love. We are all holy encounters trying to be humans...

 

Blessings

Nina Ramsten

Stockholm, Sweden

[Guest guest]

Hello, Mark,

I think many here, myself included, will be able to relate to your awakening story. You are not alone, crazy or headed towards madness. You are in the midst of a natural but little known by the mainstream process of spiritual development which has been being going on for a very long time.

I had an upper chakra arousal, if you want to call it that, as well; had the head tingles and many mental phenomena as well. I don't think I was very well-rooted, either. I did no spiritual practise and was an agnostic at the time, so my reaction, though pretty good at first, ended up involving fear and resultant trauma. Like you and many others unfamiliar with the process,

I ended up with a case of PTSD which sent me right up "the river of de Nile." Ha. So, I had a lot to heal from before returning back to that space for answers. I know how much courage it takes, and you have my admiration for that.

Don't worry - I'm not getting negative. It all has a happy ending, because I eventually found out what this is all about and found my fears were what was causing all the problems; if I just accepted what the evidence pointed to, and what Spirit was opening me up to - and ignored society's ideas of normality, I was okay.

Our fighting it seems to be what incurs the damage, but even that seems miraculously reversible once we surrender and stop fearing, in my experience. You haven't done any "permanant damage" to yourself.

You will learn to engage Truth on your terms and not those of your family, friends and society, and you will eventually become comfortable with relying on your own internal truth monitor and guidance system above the comparative norms we are indoctrinated with in our culture.

This group is a good place to headquarter on your search. It is positively oriented and the format offers will help you to balance the energies and control your fears of the unknown. It is true what they say that we are our own worst enemy, so we must learn to get out of our own way, mentally, emotionally and in every other way.

Our experiences can be cloaked in strange imagery or symbology, but we can learn to decipher what the messages are behind them or what we are becoming aware of. The higher realms are different to this physical one, but not foreign to our higher consciousness. It is this aspect of ourselves we must engage in order to understand these interactions.

> Now here is where my trouble started. i did this again one night> with the intention to become more spiritually aware. > with crystals over my chakras that matched the colours roughly.> when i drew the white light in from my crown it wouldnt go > past the brow and stayed there, i tried to move it but it > stayed there and i felt pressure on my brow. i had a vision > of eyes making contact with me and then as if someone was > standing on my head. i stopped hte whole process and went to bed. > > The next day i awoke in a terrible state, my vision was blurred> i had fear and anxiety and my own thoughts scared me. i know that> initially i made it worse by worrying all the time but i thought> something was terribly wrong. It was worse when i was going to > sleep because as i relaxed i had eyes make contact with my mind,> i would hear the odd few words spoken in my mind and other > things, i would look away or do somthing as i was scared. i > couldnt sleep without the light on tv and radio hehe.

I'll give you my own personal thoughts about seeing the eyes (and I'm sure will have more to share on eyes, too, as it relates to Kundalini).

My impression when I read this (especially when you used the wording "making contact," was that you had opened to your bigger, higher self (or the universe or higher intelligence or whatever you want to frame it as), and in return, it was simply having a look back at you as you did, it's precious child. (Is it so surprising that your gaze and reaching out would be returned?) Both aspects are equally curious and loving of the other. Try to look at it in this way. It is new and strange but not negative or scary.

The communications can seem harsh at times because they come from a very intense level, if you will. The energies are very potent and heady, so it can feel like you're being banged on the head or worn out, but that is only because we are so small in comparison (our physical selves and brains, that is).

I'm sure more advice will come as pertains to balancing the energies. Just know for now you are in the hand of God and trust that this is greater than our attempts at regulation, denial or compacting/editing to fit any narrow paradigm - and it's a very good thing this is so.

Begin practising interpreting things happening as only good and directive of a higher purpose and higher will with which you are in full cooperation at higher levels of your being.

xxx,

Droxine

[Guest guest]

dear MarkSounds like you have a natural openness and giftedness to the energetic world. . .and there is also the wisdom within you that reveals caution about unwittingly exploring without deeper understanding and groundedness. . .From what you wrote i thought of the myth of Icarus. . . there seems to be an inner wisdom that knows not to "fly to high" even with the openness. . . I would second what has to say. . . and think you too have an inner knowing that grounding in going to be really important for you before going much further. . .Mark. . . your first paragraph struck me as most honest and important. . ." (I have many questions because im not sure where i am or where i am meant to be going with this, and i have had a bit of trouble along the way.)Those two questions pehaps are much more important than any question you have about phenomena and psychic experiences. . . .i would suggest adding to the question a slight variance. . ." I have many question because i am not sure who i am or where i am going with my life. . .and that has brought a bit of trouble along the way."Mark that is everyone's story please do not feel i am singleing you out as lost and confused. . .It seems to me you are open and gifted and have a natural inclination to find the important answers of who you are and what you are here for. . .many with your abilities can get lost and confused with psychic phenomena. . . .I just wanted to support Chrism's suggestion about the use of the safeties for grounding. . . I would also suggest reading material like, I AM THAT, talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj or the Tao Te Ching for anchoring. . ."At the center of your being you have the answer; You know who you are and you know what you want." - Lao-tzuFor some people it is wise to find a teacher that taken the journey for guidance along the way. . . kundalini can have dangers and there can be pitfalls. . . Ma can be the greatest of teachers with her depth of spiritual riches of love, truth and transformation. . . and She will ask you for everything and most of all yourself. . . but first i would spend some time asking Who am I. . . and what am i wanting for this life?. . . .Thanks for joining in, and may your journey be blessed with goodness, light, love, laughter, and bliss. . . ordinary sparrowI do not believe from what you share you have damaged yourself. . . .I have enclosed the myth of Icarus. . .and think your caution was signaling this truth deep within. . .by Robert Couteau.

All text © Copyright 2005 Rob Couteau

 

IV. On the Nature of the Transcendental Energy

1. Psychic Inflation and the Misuse of Transcendental Energy

 

Daedalus and his son Icarus were imprisoned in Crete. The father made them each a pair of wings, and with these they were able to escape. But Daedalus warned his son, “Don’t fly too high or the sun will melt the wax on your wings and you will fall. Follow me closely. Do not set your own course.†But Icarus became so exhila­rated by his ability to fly, he forgot the warning and did follow his own course. He went too high, the wax melted, and he fell into the sea.

â€"The myth of Icarus, as retold in Edward Edinger’s Ego and Archetype.

 

Just follow the old advice

And my cousin the snake.

There’ll come a time when your godlikeness

Will make you quiver and quake.

â€"Faust, Part I.1

 

 

A word should be said here regarding the misuse of Transcendental energy, wittingly or otherwise, and the negative repercussions of approaching astrology in a utilitarian man­ner. As we have seen in several biographies, historical characters of dubious moralityâ€"such as Adolf Hitler, Adolf Eichmann (see below), Mussolini etc.â€"were destined to be born or to relocate almost precisely under the line of their Primary Transcendental. Although they were unaware of the notion of the Transcendental symbol, nonetheless, they were empowered by it, leading them to channel and to misuse the energy in their lives. This led to great destructiveness: world­wide and internally, i.e., destruction to the self-identity and soul. Indeed, the misuse of transpersonal power always leads to self-destruction. The Greek term hubris or hybris describes someone whose head is swollen with such forces, which results in exhibitions of personal grandeur, omnipotence, and glory.

C. G. Jung, whose work contributed so much to modern psychology (and to psychological astrology), has identi­fied a process that he terms “the inflation of the ego by the archetype,†i.e., by the forces of the collective unconscious. What he refers to is exemplified by Icarus, who flies too high and whose ersatz wings melt, resulting in his plunge to the sea, i.e., he falls not only through the sky but also through the “hole†of his psychological complex. Thus, he is swallowed by the collective unconscious: the collective reservoir of archetypal energies that stand at the base of such per­sonal complexes. The identification with (and improper use of) transpersonal, archetypal power results in the dissolution of his identity.

In the Icarus myth, the yang (masculine) and yin (feminine) principles are symbolized in their extreme forms. First, he approaches the Sun too closely and feels its intense, dangerous heat. He is lured into an overidentification with the yang aspect of the Self archetype. He has overreached; therefore, a reversal into an opposite condition occurs. An enantiodromia or “dynamic reversal†then plunges Icarus into the ultimate yin condition: dissolution in the “ocean†of the collective unconscious (the oceanic depths, the primal source of being).

Yet, the message in the myth is not that man cannot or should not creatively channel the archetypal forces: rather, it portrays the delicate balance that must be maintained (“flying†not too high; not too low). And that one must not, under any circumstance, lose one’s head, i.e., become psychically inflated or identified with an energy beyond the pale of mere human manufacture, origin, or comprehension.

His father, Daedalus, warns him to maintain a levelheaded approach. Daedalus escapes from the island and, with his waxen wings intact, safely “lands†(Sat­urn). Father Daedalus embodies the Saturn principle. He manipulates matter to achieve his ends; he respects the “laws of limitation,†and he never overreaches himself in the process.

In this positive application of Saturn, Daedalus teaches us the humbling lesson of fitting properly into the human dimension. In the story, the Saturn principle works in proper harmony with Uranus. The initial imprisonment on the island suffered by father and son is an indication that one of the yin or yang principles has reached an extreme form of expression and, therefore, needs to be reversed to achieve a new balance. The “inven­tion†of the wings, an idea which must have originated through an “intuitive vision†(Uranus), pro­vides a means of reversing the situation. Through a levelheaded, Saturnian approach (e.g., patiently collecting the fallen wings of the birds and painstakingly reassembling them, with melted wax, into a man-made apparatus), the “inspira­tion of invention†(Uranus) is concretized through a “practical, reliable method†(Saturn). This results in effecting a Uranian “reversal†or escape. Therefore, Saturn’s “patience, discipline, and structure†works in harmony with a Divine Uranian “inspiration.â€

While the myth portrays outer events dramatically enacted, it also portrays an internal drama: identifying with an archetype and the “fateful fall†that results. This is why “Fate is the logical product of enantiodromia,†and why it is the “creator of all things.â€2 While Icarus views his fall as merely a whim of fate, we know oth­erwise. Overreaching (i.e., an extreme yang or yin condition) always leads to an enforced reversal. (This truth was revealed in the I Ching over 3,000 years ago.)

How does all this relate to misusing Transcendental energy and misusing astrology in general? While we have mainly been concerned with the effect of inflation or deflation3 as regards overaspected or Leading Planets, here I want to discuss the inflated Transcendental energy, which we have certainly witnessed in the case of Hitler, Mussolini, Eich­mann, and others.

With Leading Planets, the hypo- or hyperactive behavioral tendencies will often interrupt or usurp the focal point of the individuation pro­cess symbolized by the Transcendental Planet. Certainly, this is dangerous enough. But in the case of an inflated Transcendental, we have an enormously potent concen­tration of energy that is ordinarily manifested in everyday life. When the native is too closely identified with this psychic energy (when he feels as if it is his personal possession or creation), then an “inflated†point of view (that one is, rather than that one channels the archetypal force) results in a dangerous existential situation. The biographies of the above-men­tioned despots exemplify such dangers.

Since the Transcendental is initially experienced as a spiritual longing, normally, the native does not mistake it for a personal acquisition. Rather, he becomes involved in the quest to understand and express it, usually in a variety of manners that require a sustained concentration and devotion. The latter conditions, indicating a certain “distancing†from the energy, are usually enough to indicate to anyone with common sense that one does not actually own or create such functions but, rather, that one’s core energies are the result of a long, age-old process of heredity and biological evolution, culminating in the progressive spiri­tual evolution of mankind. Even if the spiritual view is not consciously embraced, the biological viewpoint, predominant in our age of materialism, should suffice to ward off the inflated notion of a personal acquisition of what are obviously transpersonal characteristics.

And yet, common sense is not all that common. In the inflated psy­chic disposition of our despots, an identification with transpersonal powers resulted in their believing in, and being seduced by, their own personal propaganda. Overwhelmed by the numinosity of the Transcendental force, they expressed only its darkest, most primitive aspects.

Yet for each, an enantiodromian reversal manifested itself as fate: Musso­lini was literally “reversedâ€: hung upside down; Hitler was forced back into the “under­ground†of his bunker (i.e., the “underworld†or unconscious condition), where he shot himself;4 Eichmann was deported and executed by those he had formerly taken such pride in forcibly deporting and executing: those upon whom he had projected his own inferior moral nature, by categorizing them as an “inferior race.â€

This is enantiodromia visibly crystallized as external drama. Intrapsychically, enantiodromia continues to effect its reversals, its acts of nemesis. In the case of a dictator such as Francisco Franco, whose life seems relatively untouched by external dramatic reversals, we are left only to imagine the damage a hypertrophied ego wreaks upon the internal stuff of self and soul.

For those who are not in any imminent danger of becoming despots, dictators, or executioners, subtler dangers may lie in store. Whenever the archetypal yin / yang principles are approached for utilitarian rea­sonsâ€"even if those reasons are so-called spiritual growthâ€"we are tempting the enantiodromian fates to challenge our one-sided approach with a rectifying act of nemesis: one that will produce unforeseen hardship. We practice astrology or channel the creative muse or communicate with the uncon­scious simply because it is the thing to doâ€"in the same spirit of joy that a child plays a game: a blissful spirit of timeless wonder. To play this game for gain will always exact its price.4 In the words of the I Chingâ€"which I have here opened at random: Any deliberate intention of an effect would only destroy the possibility of producing it.6 , "sinebyte" <sinebyte wrote:>> Hi people.> Im 27 male and in London. I have many questions because im not sure> where i am or where i am meant to be going with this, and i have had> a bit of trouble along the way.> > anyway please comment and try not to leave negative comments> because it does put a bit of fear into me when i think i could> have damaged myself permenantly. ive posted on a couple of spirit> sites and people seem to think it could be releated to my pasty life> however i do not know, and i feel its due to what i did.> > many thanks people> > mark>