Guest guest Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Well, another interesting week of surrender and flow. I had planned to move back home to Africa early next week. I made the decision in March, resigned, gave my employer six weeks notice, posted stuff home, had really good synchronicity luck on getting a good deal on an air ticket, gave my roommate notice, felt peace of mind about the decision, and it all seemed to be going smoothly. I was enjoying the process of letting go of Taiwan, of surrendering attachments I may have had, of appreciating my experience and looking forward to returning. I ended work on Monday this week, and on Tuesday night, received a call from my employer that I would have to pay in a large sum of tax before I could leave. The tax rules have changed, and if I leave before a certain date in the year, I would have to pay in 20% tax of my earnings of the year instead of 6%, for me a sizeable difference. I thought about skipping the country, but that would have made my employer responsible for the amount – bad karma!! I didn't want to pay the money in as I am planning to buy a car when I return to Africa. So, should I stick to my original plan, pay in the money and leave, or stay for another two months. If I stayed, would that mean that I was prostituting myself for money and not following my heart? What about accommodation? I have told my roommate I was going? I prayed to my higher self, and then went to the I-Ching for guidance. I felt the message was crystal clear – 35 Prospering set in a time of 64 Not Yet Fording. I took this as a clear sign that my decision to go home is correct, yet the timing needs to be correct and I should wait a little. The following day my manager told me that she would really like me to stay in my job a little longer and that would help her a lot. There were other implications – would I get my job back with as many hours of employment as before, could I change my air ticket without a major penalty, accommodation, etc etc. I have also just registered a web site, plan to do a project, and will be able to use my internet access here. I also have some friends who are experiencing a lot of difficulty and am helping them in a supportive/service function. I spent two days not knowing, if I made the right choice or not. My practice was to surrender my decision to my higher self and trust that I would be guided if I had made the wrong choice. My heart said it was the right choice. The inner tension was interesting, and I stayed present, offering any inner tension to my higher self and asking to be free of suffering. My departure date was four days away and still I didn't know if I was leaving or staying. Several things out of my control needed to work my way if I was to stay. As a teacher of mine says `if you are waiting, you are addicted'. Today, I spent many hours with my friend who is in difficulty and feel that it was helpful to her. This evening, as we were walking back from a nearby mountain together, I was waiting out a store while she bought something. I heard a tweeting sound and saw a young swallow on a ledge right above me head, maybe on its first flight. The bird and I looked at each other for a while, making sustained eye contact. Its parent was in a nearby nest, and was flying off and coming back encouraging it to try and fly. Finally it flew off, rather shakily and almost hit the ground, then got its flight right and managed to follow the parent up to a nearby telephone wire, where they both rested. I looked at this and wondered about the meaning. I minute earlier or later and I wouldnt have seen it. One thing that has been on my mind about going back to Africa, is will I be able to maintain a surrendered state, trusting Sprit to lead me, and being able to trust enough, read the signs and follow and make the right decisions, and not react from my fear and doubt like I have done before. Will I be able to live within a surrendered, trusting relationship to Shakti? I was not sure if I could trust myself enough. When I looked at the bird, I felt it was symbolic of me learning how to fly with the guidance of the Father, and having confidence to do just that. As the flight was successful I felt I had passed a test. Shortly after, I received two phone calls saying that I have the job conditions I want and that my air ticket can be extended with little or no penalty. I had already surrendered before I heard the news, and had made decisions with confidence in the light of new information coming to light. I also, unsolicited, received offers of accommodation. I sensed that this was a useful little test. Maybe the test is finished, maybe not. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? What's nice is that I feel increased trust in Spirit, and increased trust in myself to make choices based on not knowing.. Hope this ramble wasn't too long. Its late and I am sleepy Love and blessings Bruce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2009 Report Share Posted May 16, 2009 Thanks Bruce. You gave me the faith to trust in the Shakti, and or higher spirit guidance process. I have also had a lot of bird action, one in a dream the other trapped on our balcony. Love, Jake--- On Thu, 5/14/09, bruce_oom <bruce_oom wrote: bruce_oom <bruce_oom Bird Signs Date: Thursday, May 14, 2009, 5:20 PM Well, another interesting week of surrender and flow. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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