2 Questions. . .sparrow synthesis. . - Bruce

May 14, 2009

hey Bruce,

I actually decided to get the my ILP kit when you suggested it to another member

a month or 2 ago. I had seen it before but didn't know if it was a scam and when

you suggested it, I saw the green light and went ahead and got it. It's profound

with the main modules! I especially like the AQAL 1 minute module, I like

looking at the different aspects of my experience.

I love the 3-2-1 process but I'm not good at spotting shadow material yet,

though my dreams are telling me that it's really coming to the surface, a

constant in my dreams is being chased by a monster. I didn't realize that i was

projecting my power onto Spirit, but yes now that you have brought the

possibility to my attention, it seems like I have.

So what should I do, speak about Spirit, then speak to Spirit, then speak as

Spirit? Sometimes i wonder if i'm doing it right, but i guess the point is that

there is no right way to do it (and by right I mean really getting to the

feeling and the words to express the feeling, words have not been my best form

of expression yet).

I also find that i'll do the process on someone and then find a couple hours or

days later that the same thing really bugs me. i know that it's not a one time

deal and poof that shadow material is fully integrated but is it normal for it

to come back so soon?

And for a quick shadow process, would it be just as beneficial to not worry so

much about the words but to just bring the shadow back into my experience by

resonating with each perspective?

I hadn't tried tonglen practice in a while, and hadn't tried it yet from this

kit, but i think it's about time to try it and see how it works, i think i've

been playing on one side of the street (in Ken Wilber's words) and have been

looking at the other side longing for the connection not just with Shakti but

with all beings.

thanks and much blessings to you Bruce

craig

, " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom wrote:

>

> Hey Craig,

>

> how you doing today? Well, you have had a lot of great advice and suggestions

from everyone, and its all sound advice. First, its okay to be feeling blocked

and to have the mind spinning around and around... I bet you can see it but you

cant stop it..

>

> When that happened for me, there was usually some underlying shadow material

(that Ihad been unconsciously avoiding for a long time) beginning to enter

consciousness. I know its tough, but if you can stay present to the 'circling

mind' and see it as a process, a phenomena, impersonally at this point, then the

underlying shadow block will eventually surface. I would experience this process

by feeling sadness, depression, a willingness to avoid the present, and a deep

belief based on anxiety that something in my life HAD to change, or that

something in my environment was the cause of my suffering (instead of my inner

avoidance). For me, this would also sometimes manifest as a sense of

disempowerment, wanting God to respond to me and thinking that my life was not

okay until She responded and that I was really doing my bit. In reality, I was

projecting my personal power onto an imagined God, and arguing for my

disempowerment by waiting and not acting. This was a tough habit for me to get

out of, and there is a fine line between acting and being surrendered to the

outcome, as compared to not being able to act. Now, I act, surrender to God, and

trust that I will be guided if I have made the wrong choice.

>

> So, just a quick suggestion for reflection, which may or may not ring true..

'Have you projected your personal power onto Sprit?'

>

> The fruits of the spirit are peace, ease, joy and a sense of wellbeing,

unconditionally. I know its easy to talk about this stuff and its a pain in the

ass when someone tells you this, and your experience is one of difficulty and

dryness. Still, try and have faith that on the other side of the difficulty you

will start to realize that, without condition, things are exaactly perfect

always as they are.

>

> I found it useful to have a tool that lets me work with this, that lets me

engage activly in the transformation process without it being my ego getting in

the way. I think you have done Big Mind, havnt you? Well, in the ILP kit is

another practice called Compassionate Exchange, based on the buddhist practice

of Tonglen. It follows here. You practice embodying the transformational power

of BIg Heart, and even if you cannot feel the heart yet, or cant release on the

outbreath, dont worry, as the intention to engage the Universal Heart, and to

use the Heart (of awarness and love, which is your innermost nature) to

transform suffering, is what matters. I did this many times, and yes, sometimes

there were dark days and dark weeks, yet it worked in the end... If its a moment

by moment practice in the day, simply do steps 1, 9 and 10 for yourself. You

could just imagine the mind gerbil going into your heart and coming out a

relaxed sleeping hamster.. lol..

>

> by the way, if you would like more info on Shadow work and how it facilitates

forgiveness, just let me know.

>

> love

> Bruce

>

> Tonglen Practice

>

> 1. Imagine someone you love and place attention on your heart. Generate a

feeling of love and compassion.

> 2. Visualize someone you care about who is suffering. Imagine their pain

coming into your heart, and feel their pain on the in-breath.

> 3. On the out-breath, release their pain and send a wave of healing and loving

energy to them from the heart center.

> 4. Do this for a few breaths.

> 5. Repeat steps 2 – 5 for you family.

> 6. Repeat steps 2-5 for the people in your city

> 7. Repeat steps 2-5 for the people in the world

> 8. Repeat steps 2-5 for all life forms.

> 9. Now visualize yourself in front of all the people. Imagine your own

particular brand of pain, breathe in that, imagine it being released, and

breathe out compassion and energy to yourself.

> 10. Notice that everything is happening within the context of your awareness.

Both you and the imagined other are arising within the awareness. You are that

primary awareness, not whatever experience is arising.

>

May 14, 2009

well, i'll go ahead and ask one question, how did you get to a place to

interpret your own dreams?

craig

, " kundaflame "

<kundaflame wrote:

>

> thanks Bruce!

>

> I will try and get at the underlying anger. I feel that I have layers upon

layers of repressed material to get through but what better time to start than

now!

>

> Oh yeah and thank you for the advice with the monster in the dreams. It feels

promising now to be able to get to the root of the shadow, maybe my need to

figure it out has been preventing the real root of the situation to arise. Most

often I feel like I'm tripping over my own 2 feet, lol.

>

> I do have more questions but feel taht I should bask in what has been given me

here the past few days and absorb it all.

>

> blessings to you Bruce

> craig

>

> , " bruce_oom " <bruce_oom@>

wrote:

> >

> > Hi Craig,

> >

> > thats great you got the kit.. its one of the best value things I ever got,

and I still feel that it was invaluable in the K. process in providing tools

for understanding myself, my relationships and the roles I was identified with..

> >

> > Shadow work was an essential practice, which I both loved and hated. After

doing it a few years, this is what I found worked from my experience..

> >

> > 1. Usually behind my perspective, (be it also

doubt/resistance/anger/aversion.. or whatevr) I would learn to find an

underlying anger. So, I would try and tap into the root anger and express that

in the process - this would bring authenticity.. such as the anger at being

disempowered, or denied love, and the hurt that the anger covers. I would

express without limitation what I thought of the perspective I was resisting.

Once the anger starts to go down, then I have done 'my side'.

> >

> > 2. After the anger goes down, I take the other side. I found it important

not just to do it cognitively, but to try and feel and embody the other

perspective, and fully 'be' that person and feel and see their world. Once thats

done, I would add a step, tryingh to understand why the other is trying to avoid

more pain by doing what theu are doing. Once again, I found it important to go

beyond teh ciognitive stuff (just the words ) and really resonate and feel the

perspectives..

> >

> > 3. Sometimes there are layers of repressed material. There may be deeper

underlying issues, and if it still bugs you or comes back, then you most likely

havent got the root. Still, keep faith in the process and keep doing it with as

much intensity as you can. It may go deeper and deeper. if I really get the

anger, then there is a greater chance it doesnt come back...

> >

> > 4. Re shadow with Spirit, in my case I had internalized Spirit as a father

figure who I had to surrender to and was not allowed to argue with. I feel that

growing up in a traditional Christian church, deeply disempowered me, and i had

to go through a process of 'reclaiming' my projected power and authority back

from God. (This is not a negative reflection on the church - Christianity is my

faith and my relationship to Christ is fundamental to my life.. ). My issue was

that I was stuck in the disempowered child, and had to find my personal

authority, which was a tough thing for me to do. So, I had to get really mad at

God, honor my perspective, then imagine being 'god' and explain why he wasnt

doing what I wanted..

> >

> > 5. The monster in the dreams is a good thing. When that happened with me, I

would, on waking, reimagine the dream, and imagine myself turning and hugging

the monster. During the day, I would keep the moster in mind and be curious

about it. Often over the next few days, just by staying in open curious

relationship with the shadow energy, the root would emerge, in either a dream or

an insight in the day. This was often gritty work, and often had a lot of

difficult tension and anxiety to work with, yet it usually followed a similiar

pattern.

> >

> > 6. Just a note on anger. My experience is that anger is a powerful emotion,

and its ok to get mad in the context of doing the transformation work, as the

original root of anger that created the karma often needs to be reexperienced.

Once the transformation is done, then healthy anger is a good response to an

immediate physcical threat.

> >

> > What i found interesting, is that forgiveness is basically automatic if I do

the shadow work on the person I feel wronged me

> >

> > hope all this helps.. and let me know if there is anything else that I may

be able to share from my experience. And re longing for the connection with all

beings, do shadow on that, and find the source of love and wholness within that

you may be projecting onto them. This was tough for me, as I also longed for

that union and connection...

> >

> > love

> > Bruce

> >

> > , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> > >

> > > hey Bruce,

> > > I actually decided to get the my ILP kit when you suggested it to another

member a month or 2 ago. I had seen it before but didn't know if it was a scam

and when you suggested it, I saw the green light and went ahead and got it. It's

profound with the main modules! I especially like the AQAL 1 minute module, I

like looking at the different aspects of my experience.

> > >

> > > I love the 3-2-1 process but I'm not good at spotting shadow material yet,

though my dreams are telling me that it's really coming to the surface, a

constant in my dreams is being chased by a monster. I didn't realize that i was

projecting my power onto Spirit, but yes now that you have brought the

possibility to my attention, it seems like I have.

> > >

> > > So what should I do, speak about Spirit, then speak to Spirit, then speak

as Spirit? Sometimes i wonder if i'm doing it right, but i guess the point is

that there is no right way to do it (and by right I mean really getting to the

feeling and the words to express the feeling, words have not been my best form

of expression yet).

> > >

> > > I also find that i'll do the process on someone and then find a couple

hours or days later that the same thing really bugs me. i know that it's not a

one time deal and poof that shadow material is fully integrated but is it normal

for it to come back so soon?

> > >

> > > And for a quick shadow process, would it be just as beneficial to not

worry so much about the words but to just bring the shadow back into my

experience by resonating with each perspective?

> > >

> > > I hadn't tried tonglen practice in a while, and hadn't tried it yet from

this kit, but i think it's about time to try it and see how it works, i think

i've been playing on one side of the street (in Ken Wilber's words) and have

been looking at the other side longing for the connection not just with Shakti

but with all beings.

> > >

> > > thanks and much blessings to you Bruce

> > > craig

> > >

> > > , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > > >

> > > > Hey Craig,

> > > >

> > > > how you doing today? Well, you have had a lot of great advice and

suggestions from everyone, and its all sound advice. First, its okay to be

feeling blocked and to have the mind spinning around and around... I bet you can

see it but you cant stop it..

> > > >

> > > > When that happened for me, there was usually some underlying shadow

material (that Ihad been unconsciously avoiding for a long time) beginning to

enter consciousness. I know its tough, but if you can stay present to the

'circling mind' and see it as a process, a phenomena, impersonally at this

point, then the underlying shadow block will eventually surface. I would

experience this process by feeling sadness, depression, a willingness to avoid

the present, and a deep belief based on anxiety that something in my life HAD to

change, or that something in my environment was the cause of my suffering

(instead of my inner avoidance). For me, this would also sometimes manifest as a

sense of disempowerment, wanting God to respond to me and thinking that my life

was not okay until She responded and that I was really doing my bit. In reality,

I was projecting my personal power onto an imagined God, and arguing for my

disempowerment by waiting and not acting. This was a tough habit for me to get

out of, and there is a fine line between acting and being surrendered to the

outcome, as compared to not being able to act. Now, I act, surrender to God, and

trust that I will be guided if I have made the wrong choice.

> > > >

> > > > So, just a quick suggestion for reflection, which may or may not ring

true.. 'Have you projected your personal power onto Sprit?'

> > > >

> > > > The fruits of the spirit are peace, ease, joy and a sense of wellbeing,

unconditionally. I know its easy to talk about this stuff and its a pain in the

ass when someone tells you this, and your experience is one of difficulty and

dryness. Still, try and have faith that on the other side of the difficulty you

will start to realize that, without condition, things are exaactly perfect

always as they are.

> > > >

> > > > I found it useful to have a tool that lets me work with this, that lets

me engage activly in the transformation process without it being my ego getting

in the way. I think you have done Big Mind, havnt you? Well, in the ILP kit is