2 Questions. . .sparrow synthesis. . - dreams - Bruce

[Guest guest]

yeah ,the way you just described the shadow, that's definately whats happening

to me. My desire to be present has diminished drastically (and bad thing is is

that I still want to grow in Presence but my motivation has gone down). I think

I've disowned my thoughts too...I would sit in meditation and consciously say:

any thought that happens in during this meditation is not mine. And I would sit

and watch all the thoughts, but for some reason they stopped passing through and

slowly built up the the gerbil wheel syndrome that seems to be my constant

companion as of late (I also got to the point of saying these thoughts aren't

mine during my daily life too). And it seems like I couldn't get any deeper into

the present, it was like I could only wade on the surface of the ocean but

couldn't dive in and go deeper. I think i have a lot of re-owning and

re-integration to do...

 

I've been writing my dreams down since january but can't seem to get myself to

read over them again and try to go deeper into their meanings, it feels way too

much of a daunting task to me without any previous experience of interpreting

them (it seems to me like getting foreign piece of literature and trying to

decipher first the words, then the sentences then how it all fits together and

the underlying meaning...). I'll have to check out Jung's book on dreams after I

absorb everything that's happened the past week and I'll let the these 3

pointers you have given me for dreams to sit in my awareness. And I'll re-read

my dreams and see if anything comes up, never know until I try.

 

I greatly appreciate it Bruce and may you be continually guided by Spirit!

 

craig

 

 

 

 

, " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom wrote:

>

> Hi Craig,

>

> yep, shadow often takes time. As the source of the repression gets closer to

consiousness awareness, the impulse to resist (maybe felt as tension, fear or a

desire to not be present) may get stronger and stronger.. (thats a good sign ..

lol). Basically, shadow has many forms, and I use a loose defintion as anything

that stops me being present, for example being caught in a desire, in longing,

in a mental story, in avoiding something, etc etc, thinking I will find peace

and satisfaction somewhere outside the present moment.

>

> Anyway, back to dreams.. how did I get to a place to interpret my dreams?

Well, I am still learning. Years ago I read 'On dreams' by C.G. Jung (which came

to me in a remarkeable bit of synchronicity). I think it was in that book, and

another book by a Jungian dream analyst, which gave me the guiding principles,

of framework, for dream analysis. Simply, the principles I use are

>

> 1. Everything in the dream is an aspect of you, so try and befriend and

identify with it all, no matter how good or bad. (this is a good principle for

waking life to )

> 2. Only you can give the dream meaning. Its useful to read up about dreams

and their significance, but in the end, due to a unique combination of your

culture, your history and other factors, you have to give it meaning.

> 3. Its not going to make sense at first, as the unconsious material has to be

interpreted by the conscious mind, and becuase its been unconscious for so long,

the conscious mind has difficulty understanding at first, and can only interpret

it within known frames of reference.

>

> I used to write down all my dreams (probablyt have thousands written down). If

the dream was confusing, I would just hold in it mind, and lightly reflect on

it. Often I would have dream sequences, where the monster would actually change

into something nice as I befriended it. So, I really just practiced inquiry,

bringing curiosity and an open mind. Now mus dreams follow patterns I can

recognize, but I still sometimes get something that floors me.. Writing down

teh dreams will help strengthen the connection to the subtle dream body...

>

> The dreams are cool puzzles.. have fun with them and enjoy the mystery. Hope

this helps..

>

> Love

> Bruce

>

> , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> >

> > well, i'll go ahead and ask one question, how did you get to a place to

interpret your own dreams?

> >

> > craig

> >

> >

> >

> > , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> > >

> > > thanks Bruce!

> > >

> > > I will try and get at the underlying anger. I feel that I have layers upon

layers of repressed material to get through but what better time to start than

now!

> > >

> > > Oh yeah and thank you for the advice with the monster in the dreams. It

feels promising now to be able to get to the root of the shadow, maybe my need

to figure it out has been preventing the real root of the situation to arise.

Most often I feel like I'm tripping over my own 2 feet, lol.

> > >

> > > I do have more questions but feel taht I should bask in what has been

given me here the past few days and absorb it all.

> > >

> > > blessings to you Bruce

> > > craig

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > > >

> > > > Hi Craig,

> > > >

> > > > thats great you got the kit.. its one of the best value things I ever

got, and I still feel that it was invaluable in the K. process in providing

tools for understanding myself, my relationships and the roles I was identified

with..

> > > >

> > > > Shadow work was an essential practice, which I both loved and hated.

After doing it a few years, this is what I found worked from my experience..

> > > >

> > > > 1. Usually behind my perspective, (be it also

doubt/resistance/anger/aversion.. or whatevr) I would learn to find an

underlying anger. So, I would try and tap into the root anger and express that

in the process - this would bring authenticity.. such as the anger at being

disempowered, or denied love, and the hurt that the anger covers. I would

express without limitation what I thought of the perspective I was resisting.

Once the anger starts to go down, then I have done 'my side'.

> > > >

> > > > 2. After the anger goes down, I take the other side. I found it

important not just to do it cognitively, but to try and feel and embody the

other perspective, and fully 'be' that person and feel and see their world. Once

thats done, I would add a step, tryingh to understand why the other is trying to

avoid more pain by doing what theu are doing. Once again, I found it important

to go beyond teh ciognitive stuff (just the words ) and really resonate and feel

the perspectives..

> > > >

> > > > 3. Sometimes there are layers of repressed material. There may be deeper

underlying issues, and if it still bugs you or comes back, then you most likely

havent got the root. Still, keep faith in the process and keep doing it with as

much intensity as you can. It may go deeper and deeper. if I really get the

anger, then there is a greater chance it doesnt come back...

> > > >

> > > > 4. Re shadow with Spirit, in my case I had internalized Spirit as a

father figure who I had to surrender to and was not allowed to argue with. I

feel that growing up in a traditional Christian church, deeply disempowered me,

and i had to go through a process of 'reclaiming' my projected power and

authority back from God. (This is not a negative reflection on the church -

Christianity is my faith and my relationship to Christ is fundamental to my

life.. ). My issue was that I was stuck in the disempowered child, and had to

find my personal authority, which was a tough thing for me to do. So, I had to

get really mad at God, honor my perspective, then imagine being 'god' and

explain why he wasnt doing what I wanted..

> > > >

> > > > 5. The monster in the dreams is a good thing. When that happened with

me, I would, on waking, reimagine the dream, and imagine myself turning and

hugging the monster. During the day, I would keep the moster in mind and be

curious about it. Often over the next few days, just by staying in open curious

relationship with the shadow energy, the root would emerge, in either a dream or

an insight in the day. This was often gritty work, and often had a lot of

difficult tension and anxiety to work with, yet it usually followed a similiar

pattern.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > 6. Just a note on anger. My experience is that anger is a powerful

emotion, and its ok to get mad in the context of doing the transformation work,

as the original root of anger that created the karma often needs to be

reexperienced. Once the transformation is done, then healthy anger is a good

response to an immediate physcical threat.

> > > >

> > > > What i found interesting, is that forgiveness is basically automatic if

I do the shadow work on the person I feel wronged me

> > > >

> > > > hope all this helps.. and let me know if there is anything else that I

may be able to share from my experience. And re longing for the connection with

all beings, do shadow on that, and find the source of love and wholness within

that you may be projecting onto them. This was tough for me, as I also longed

for that union and connection...

> > > >

> > > > love

> > > > Bruce

> > > >

> > > > , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> > > > >

> > > > > hey Bruce,

> > > > > I actually decided to get the my ILP kit when you suggested it to

another member a month or 2 ago. I had seen it before but didn't know if it was

a scam and when you suggested it, I saw the green light and went ahead and got

it. It's profound with the main modules! I especially like the AQAL 1 minute

module, I like looking at the different aspects of my experience.

> > > > >

> > > > > I love the 3-2-1 process but I'm not good at spotting shadow material

yet, though my dreams are telling me that it's really coming to the surface, a

constant in my dreams is being chased by a monster. I didn't realize that i was

projecting my power onto Spirit, but yes now that you have brought the

possibility to my attention, it seems like I have.

> > > > >

> > > > > So what should I do, speak about Spirit, then speak to Spirit, then

speak as Spirit? Sometimes i wonder if i'm doing it right, but i guess the point

is that there is no right way to do it (and by right I mean really getting to

the feeling and the words to express the feeling, words have not been my best

form of expression yet).

> > > > >

> > > > > I also find that i'll do the process on someone and then find a couple

hours or days later that the same thing really bugs me. i know that it's not a

one time deal and poof that shadow material is fully integrated but is it normal

for it to come back so soon?

> > > > >

> > > > > And for a quick shadow process, would it be just as beneficial to not

worry so much about the words but to just bring the shadow back into my

experience by resonating with each perspective?

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > I hadn't tried tonglen practice in a while, and hadn't tried it yet

from this kit, but i think it's about time to try it and see how it works, i

think i've been playing on one side of the street (in Ken Wilber's words) and

have been looking at the other side longing for the connection not just with

Shakti but with all beings.

> > > > >

> > > > > thanks and much blessings to you Bruce

> > > > > craig

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hey Craig,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > how you doing today? Well, you have had a lot of great advice and

suggestions from everyone, and its all sound advice. First, its okay to be

feeling blocked and to have the mind spinning around and around... I bet you can

see it but you cant stop it..

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When that happened for me, there was usually some underlying shadow

material (that Ihad been unconsciously avoiding for a long time) beginning to

enter consciousness. I know its tough, but if you can stay present to the

'circling mind' and see it as a process, a phenomena, impersonally at this

point, then the underlying shadow block will eventually surface. I would

experience this process by feeling sadness, depression, a willingness to avoid

the present, and a deep belief based on anxiety that something in my life HAD to

change, or that something in my environment was the cause of my suffering

(instead of my inner avoidance). For me, this would also sometimes manifest as a

sense of disempowerment, wanting God to respond to me and thinking that my life

was not okay until She responded and that I was really doing my bit. In reality,

I was projecting my personal power onto an imagined God, and arguing for my

disempowerment by waiting and not acting. This was a tough habit for me to get

out of, and there is a fine line between acting and being surrendered to the

outcome, as compared to not being able to act. Now, I act, surrender to God, and

trust that I will be guided if I have made the wrong choice.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > So, just a quick suggestion for reflection, which may or may not

ring true.. 'Have you projected your personal power onto Sprit?'

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The fruits of the spirit are peace, ease, joy and a sense of

wellbeing, unconditionally. I know its easy to talk about this stuff and its a

pain in the ass when someone tells you this, and your experience is one of

difficulty and dryness. Still, try and have faith that on the other side of the

difficulty you will start to realize that, without condition, things are

exaactly perfect always as they are.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I found it useful to have a tool that lets me work with this, that

lets me engage activly in the transformation process without it being my ego

getting in the way. I think you have done Big Mind, havnt you? Well, in the ILP

kit is another practice called Compassionate Exchange, based on the buddhist

practice of Tonglen. It follows here. You practice embodying the

transformational power of BIg Heart, and even if you cannot feel the heart yet,

or cant release on the outbreath, dont worry, as the intention to engage the

Universal Heart, and to use the Heart (of awarness and love, which is your

innermost nature) to transform suffering, is what matters. I did this many

times, and yes, sometimes there were dark days and dark weeks, yet it worked in

the end... If its a moment by moment practice in the day, simply do steps 1, 9

and 10 for yourself. You could just imagine the mind gerbil going into your

heart and coming out a relaxed sleeping hamster.. lol..

> > > > > >

> > > > > > by the way, if you would like more info on Shadow work and how it

facilitates forgiveness, just let me know.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > love

> > > > > > Bruce

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Tonglen Practice

> > > > > >

> > > > > > 1. Imagine someone you love and place attention on your heart.

Generate a feeling of love and compassion.

> > > > > > 2. Visualize someone you care about who is suffering. Imagine their

pain coming into your heart, and feel their pain on the in-breath.

> > > > > > 3. On the out-breath, release their pain and send a wave of healing

and loving energy to them from the heart center.

> > > > > > 4. Do this for a few breaths.

> > > > > > 5. Repeat steps 2 – 5 for you family.

> > > > > > 6. Repeat steps 2-5 for the people in your city

> > > > > > 7. Repeat steps 2-5 for the people in the world

> > > > > > 8. Repeat steps 2-5 for all life forms.

> > > > > > 9. Now visualize yourself in front of all the people. Imagine your

own particular brand of pain, breathe in that, imagine it being released, and

breathe out compassion and energy to yourself.

> > > > > > 10. Notice that everything is happening within the context of your

awareness. Both you and the imagined other are arising within the awareness. You

are that primary awareness, not whatever experience is arising.

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>