2 Questions. . .sparrow synthesis. . -more on shadow..bruce

[Guest guest]

wow, thanks! I really appreciate your help ) Shadow work's going to be my

focal point of my practice. I must of done something right last night. Did some

shadow work, tried to get at the anger underneath and feel it as much as

possible. Then after I was done, I actually felt a little lighter. Later in the

night I woke up to a sensation that I can only describe as the feeling aspect of

the kaleidoscope phenomenon but instead of a kaleidoscope, I was emmersed in

light but it was like i was in a protective bubble. It felt very good. And now

my sense of smell has heightened and it's bringing pleasant feelings ). Well

anyways, thanks man

 

with gratitude

craig

 

 

 

, " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom wrote:

>

> Hey Craig,

>

> yes, that is interesting how you just got the book ..

>

> re more on shadow.. my experience was that when the shadow element has been

repressed for a long time, maybe most of ones life, it can be tough to recognize

the root as its way out of conscious awareness. When there were no obvious faces

for the projection, I would simply get curious about it (the resistance or

emotional charge), and try and stay connected to the feeling, just asking

repeatedly (maybe periodically throughout the day)'What is the root of this?'

then just stay open, to dreams, synchronicity, and so on. It may take a while,

but eventually it will surface. This attitude of curious inquiry will bring lots

of answers..

>

> I found each shadow element had a corresponding chakra blockage, and also the

muscles that would be used to express the impulse may have been tight. Another

goal of integration, for me, is to be able to feel with awareness every part of

my body, and to move energy around using intention and attention. So, if I cant

feel a part of my back, for example, then I can assume there is some blockage

there. The blockage is often connected to an unconscious contraction of the

muscles. The technique is to contract the muscles of that region as intensely as

possible, then to relax, and do this about ten - fifteen minutes a day. This

bringing attention to the blocked region may help bring awareness to the root of

the numbness... A good rule of thumb then, is if you cant feel a part of your

body, keep bringing attention to the area. If the block is deep, it may take up

to a month or six weeks to open it up..

>

> hope that helps.. and thats about as much as I know..

> love

> Bruce

> , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> >

> > hey Bruce

> >

> > It's funny you mentioned Integral Spirituality. I received the book as a

gift last week, I chose it of course so it wasn't total coincidence.

> >

> > I usually try to be careful about language usage, but have gotten

careless...I could see how my wordage did not work to my advantage, lol. I think

you're right about the shadow, I really have no choice about it...I can continue

to try to push the door shut when some shadow material comes in during

meditation or I can use it as an opportunity to reintegrate the shadow, then

return to the meditation until some other shadow element comes into awareness.

I'm having a hard time though identifying the actual shadow element. since

disowning my thoughts, I can't see many of them but they still pack an emotional

charge. My own thoughts are like shadows now, unless I consciously think..So I'm

sitting with this emotional charge and I don't even know what the reason is. Any

suggestions on how to do shadow work on that? Sorry, I hope I'm not asking too

many questions. Maybe my questions will be answered with Integral Spirituality.

I haven't gotten to the chapter about Shadow and Disowned Self but I'm plowing

through it!

> >

> > much blessings for your help

> > craig

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > >

> > > Hi Craig,

> > >

> > > yep, it does take a little time to process all this stuff and get the hang

of dreams and so on. Reading your post, a couple of other things came to mind

(and once again, this was my experience, and it may or may not be valid for

you). I think I had some of the same problems you had with the mind, disowning,

identification, and so on, and i found it helpful if I broke the problem down a

little. These ideas are strongly influenced by Ken Wilbers work, and he goes

into them in depth in Integral Spirituality, so if I am repeating what you

already know, then my apologies..

> > >

> > > Meditation, particulaly self-inquiry (an example being 'I am not these

thoughts, I have thoughts, who am I - the language here is very important) is a

tool to trasnscend identification with the ego through a disidentification

process. Just a note to the language you are using.(I would sit in meditation

and consciously say: any thought that happens in during this meditation is not

mine.). the thoughts are yours, they are just not your identity, so perhaps be

careful about saying 'these are not mine' as that may promote furthur

disownenership instead of disidentification. Meditation, as I understand it,

strengthens the ability to stay present, or stay in the True Self, until that

becomes ones natural center of gravity. It could also be said that Self inquiry

strengthens the recognition and identification with formlessness, or emptiness.

Meditation continues the development of the self, into the transpersonal realms,

and ideally is best done when one already has a strong healthy ego. If its not,

it can give rise to the 'enlightened asshole' phenomenon..lol.

> > >

> > > Even if meditation is still successful, an ego is needed for functioning

in the world, and the healthier and more accurate the ego, or 'seperate self

concept' is, the better for many reasons. Shadow work often works with the

earlier stages of the self development, correcting some of the stuff that went

wrong, or in other words, makes your world of form healthier.

> > >

> > > So, my understanding of the process of devlopment is first, own the shadow

(ie anger or power drives or sex drives, to give common examples) and once

ownership has happened, then transcendance (disidentification) and inclusion

(integration of the transcended aspect of self into a higher level of

functioning) can occur. If the ownership never happens, then my understanding is

that one may be grounded in being, or Enlightened, but may percieve the (for

example) anger as belonging to another, not to the self. Meditation, if done

without the understanding of shadow, can sometimes push the shadow furthur out.

> > >

> > > SO, my advice is to be flexible. If there is shadow, then work on the

shadow instead of meditation. If you meditate, do it with a commitment to the

practice in that period, then come back to any gerbil thoughts afterwards. I

found thoughts are my friends.. haha.. its better to work with them than against

them..

> > >

> > > thats my 50 cents.. hope you are still awake and it wasnt too technical..

> > >

> > > love

> > > Bruce

> > >

> > > , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> > > >

> > > > yeah ,the way you just described the shadow, that's definately whats

happening to me. My desire to be present has diminished drastically (and bad

thing is is that I still want to grow in Presence but my motivation has gone

down). I think I've disowned my thoughts too...I would sit in meditation and

consciously say: any thought that happens in during this meditation is not mine.

And I would sit and watch all the thoughts, but for some reason they stopped

passing through and slowly built up the the gerbil wheel syndrome that seems to

be my constant companion as of late (I also got to the point of saying these

thoughts aren't mine during my daily life too). And it seems like I couldn't get

any deeper into the present, it was like I could only wade on the surface of the

ocean but couldn't dive in and go deeper. I think i have a lot of re-owning and

re-integration to do...

> > > >

> > > > I've been writing my dreams down since january but can't seem to get

myself to read over them again and try to go deeper into their meanings, it

feels way too much of a daunting task to me without any previous experience of

interpreting them (it seems to me like getting foreign piece of literature and

trying to decipher first the words, then the sentences then how it all fits

together and the underlying meaning...). I'll have to check out Jung's book on

dreams after I absorb everything that's happened the past week and I'll let the

these 3 pointers you have given me for dreams to sit in my awareness. And I'll

re-read my dreams and see if anything comes up, never know until I try.

> > > >

> > > > I greatly appreciate it Bruce and may you be continually guided by

Spirit!

> > > >

> > > > craig

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi Craig,

> > > > >

> > > > > yep, shadow often takes time. As the source of the repression gets

closer to consiousness awareness, the impulse to resist (maybe felt as tension,

fear or a desire to not be present) may get stronger and stronger.. (thats a

good sign .. lol). Basically, shadow has many forms, and I use a loose defintion

as anything that stops me being present, for example being caught in a desire,

in longing, in a mental story, in avoiding something, etc etc, thinking I will

find peace and satisfaction somewhere outside the present moment.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyway, back to dreams.. how did I get to a place to interpret my

dreams? Well, I am still learning. Years ago I read 'On dreams' by C.G. Jung

(which came to me in a remarkeable bit of synchronicity). I think it was in that

book, and another book by a Jungian dream analyst, which gave me the guiding

principles, of framework, for dream analysis. Simply, the principles I use are

> > > > >

> > > > > 1. Everything in the dream is an aspect of you, so try and befriend

and identify with it all, no matter how good or bad. (this is a good principle

for waking life to )

> > > > > 2. Only you can give the dream meaning. Its useful to read up about

dreams and their significance, but in the end, due to a unique combination of

your culture, your history and other factors, you have to give it meaning.

> > > > > 3. Its not going to make sense at first, as the unconsious material

has to be interpreted by the conscious mind, and becuase its been unconscious

for so long, the conscious mind has difficulty understanding at first, and can

only interpret it within known frames of reference.

> > > > >

> > > > > I used to write down all my dreams (probablyt have thousands written

down). If the dream was confusing, I would just hold in it mind, and lightly

reflect on it. Often I would have dream sequences, where the monster would

actually change into something nice as I befriended it. So, I really just

practiced inquiry, bringing curiosity and an open mind. Now mus dreams follow

patterns I can recognize, but I still sometimes get something that floors me..

Writing down teh dreams will help strengthen the connection to the subtle

dream body...

> > > > >

> > > > > The dreams are cool puzzles.. have fun with them and enjoy the

mystery. Hope this helps..

> > > > >

> > > > > Love

> > > > > Bruce

> > > > >

> > > > > , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > well, i'll go ahead and ask one question, how did you get to a place

to interpret your own dreams?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > craig

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > , " kundaflame "

<kundaflame@> wrote:

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > thanks Bruce!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I will try and get at the underlying anger. I feel that I have

layers upon layers of repressed material to get through but what better time to

start than now!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Oh yeah and thank you for the advice with the monster in the

dreams. It feels promising now to be able to get to the root of the shadow,

maybe my need to figure it out has been preventing the real root of the

situation to arise. Most often I feel like I'm tripping over my own 2 feet, lol.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I do have more questions but feel taht I should bask in what has

been given me here the past few days and absorb it all.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > blessings to you Bruce

> > > > > > > craig

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Hi Craig,

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > thats great you got the kit.. its one of the best value things I

ever got, and I still feel that it was invaluable in the K. process in

providing tools for understanding myself, my relationships and the roles I was

identified with..

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Shadow work was an essential practice, which I both loved and

hated. After doing it a few years, this is what I found worked from my

experience..

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > 1. Usually behind my perspective, (be it also

doubt/resistance/anger/aversion.. or whatevr) I would learn to find an

underlying anger. So, I would try and tap into the root anger and express that

in the process - this would bring authenticity.. such as the anger at being

disempowered, or denied love, and the hurt that the anger covers. I would

express without limitation what I thought of the perspective I was resisting.

Once the anger starts to go down, then I have done 'my side'.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > 2. After the anger goes down, I take the other side. I found it

important not just to do it cognitively, but to try and feel and embody the

other perspective, and fully 'be' that person and feel and see their world. Once

thats done, I would add a step, tryingh to understand why the other is trying to

avoid more pain by doing what theu are doing. Once again, I found it important

to go beyond teh ciognitive stuff (just the words ) and really resonate and feel

the perspectives..

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > 3. Sometimes there are layers of repressed material. There may

be deeper underlying issues, and if it still bugs you or comes back, then you

most likely havent got the root. Still, keep faith in the process and keep doing

it with as much intensity as you can. It may go deeper and deeper. if I really

get the anger, then there is a greater chance it doesnt come back...

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > 4. Re shadow with Spirit, in my case I had internalized Spirit

as a father figure who I had to surrender to and was not allowed to argue with.

I feel that growing up in a traditional Christian church, deeply disempowered

me, and i had to go through a process of 'reclaiming' my projected power and

authority back from God. (This is not a negative reflection on the church -

Christianity is my faith and my relationship to Christ is fundamental to my

life.. ). My issue was that I was stuck in the disempowered child, and had to

find my personal authority, which was a tough thing for me to do. So, I had to

get really mad at God, honor my perspective, then imagine being 'god' and

explain why he wasnt doing what I wanted..

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > 5. The monster in the dreams is a good thing. When that happened

with me, I would, on waking, reimagine the dream, and imagine myself turning and

hugging the monster. During the day, I would keep the moster in mind and be

curious about it. Often over the next few days, just by staying in open curious

relationship with the shadow energy, the root would emerge, in either a dream or

an insight in the day. This was often gritty work, and often had a lot of

difficult tension and anxiety to work with, yet it usually followed a similiar

pattern.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > 6. Just a note on anger. My experience is that anger is a

powerful emotion, and its ok to get mad in the context of doing the

transformation work, as the original root of anger that created the karma often

needs to be reexperienced. Once the transformation is done, then healthy anger

is a good response to an immediate physcical threat.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > What i found interesting, is that forgiveness is basically

automatic if I do the shadow work on the person I feel wronged me

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > hope all this helps.. and let me know if there is anything else

that I may be able to share from my experience. And re longing for the

connection with all beings, do shadow on that, and find the source of love and

wholness within that you may be projecting onto them. This was tough for me, as

I also longed for that union and connection...

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > love

> > > > > > > > Bruce

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > ,

" kundaflame " <kundaflame@> wrote:

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > hey Bruce,

> > > > > > > > > I actually decided to get the my ILP kit when you suggested it

to another member a month or 2 ago. I had seen it before but didn't know if it

was a scam and when you suggested it, I saw the green light and went ahead and

got it. It's profound with the main modules! I especially like the AQAL 1 minute

module, I like looking at the different aspects of my experience.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I love the 3-2-1 process but I'm not good at spotting shadow

material yet, though my dreams are telling me that it's really coming to the

surface, a constant in my dreams is being chased by a monster. I didn't realize

that i was projecting my power onto Spirit, but yes now that you have brought

the possibility to my attention, it seems like I have.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > So what should I do, speak about Spirit, then speak to Spirit,

then speak as Spirit? Sometimes i wonder if i'm doing it right, but i guess the

point is that there is no right way to do it (and by right I mean really getting

to the feeling and the words to express the feeling, words have not been my best

form of expression yet).

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I also find that i'll do the process on someone and then find

a couple hours or days later that the same thing really bugs me. i know that

it's not a one time deal and poof that shadow material is fully integrated but

is it normal for it to come back so soon?

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > And for a quick shadow process, would it be just as beneficial

to not worry so much about the words but to just bring the shadow back into my

experience by resonating with each perspective?

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I hadn't tried tonglen practice in a while, and hadn't tried

it yet from this kit, but i think it's about time to try it and see how it

works, i think i've been playing on one side of the street (in Ken Wilber's

words) and have been looking at the other side longing for the connection not

just with Shakti but with all beings.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > thanks and much blessings to you Bruce

> > > > > > > > > craig

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > ,

" bruce_oom " <bruce_oom@> wrote:

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > Hey Craig,

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > how you doing today? Well, you have had a lot of great

advice and suggestions from everyone, and its all sound advice. First, its okay

to be feeling blocked and to have the mind spinning around and around... I bet

you can see it but you cant stop it..

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > When that happened for me, there was usually some underlying

shadow material (that Ihad been unconsciously avoiding for a long time)

beginning to enter consciousness. I know its tough, but if you can stay present

to the 'circling mind' and see it as a process, a phenomena, impersonally at

this point, then the underlying shadow block will eventually surface. I would

experience this process by feeling sadness, depression, a willingness to avoid

the present, and a deep belief based on anxiety that something in my life HAD to

change, or that something in my environment was the cause of my suffering

(instead of my inner avoidance). For me, this would also sometimes manifest as a

sense of disempowerment, wanting God to respond to me and thinking that my life

was not okay until She responded and that I was really doing my bit. In reality,

I was projecting my personal power onto an imagined God, and arguing for my

disempowerment by waiting and not acting. This was a tough habit for me to get

out of, and there is a fine line between acting and being surrendered to the

outcome, as compared to not being able to act. Now, I act, surrender to God, and

trust that I will be guided if I have made the wrong choice.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > So, just a quick suggestion for reflection, which may or

may not ring true.. 'Have you projected your personal power onto Sprit?'

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > The fruits of the spirit are peace, ease, joy and a sense of

wellbeing, unconditionally. I know its easy to talk about this stuff and its a

pain in the ass when someone tells you this, and your experience is one of

difficulty and dryness. Still, try and have faith that on the other side of the

difficulty you will start to realize that, without condition, things are

exaactly perfect always as they are.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > I found it useful to have a tool that lets me work with

this, that lets me engage activly in the transformation process without it being

my ego getting in the way. I think you have done Big Mind, havnt you? Well, in

the ILP kit is another practice called Compassionate Exchange, based on the

buddhist practice of Tonglen. It follows here. You practice embodying the

transformational power of BIg Heart, and even if you cannot feel the heart yet,

or cant release on the outbreath, dont worry, as the intention to engage the

Universal Heart, and to use the Heart (of awarness and love, which is your

innermost nature) to transform suffering, is what matters. I did this many

times, and yes, sometimes there were dark days and dark weeks, yet it worked in

the end... If its a moment by moment practice in the day, simply do steps 1, 9

and 10 for yourself. You could just imagine the mind gerbil going into your

heart and coming out a relaxed sleeping hamster.. lol..

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > by the way, if you would like more info on Shadow work and

how it facilitates forgiveness, just let me know.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > love

> > > > > > > > > > Bruce

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > Tonglen Practice

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > 1. Imagine someone you love and place attention on your

heart. Generate a feeling of love and compassion.

> > > > > > > > > > 2. Visualize someone you care about who is suffering.

Imagine their pain coming into your heart, and feel their pain on the in-breath.

> > > > > > > > > > 3. On the out-breath, release their pain and send a wave of

healing and loving energy to them from the heart center.

> > > > > > > > > > 4. Do this for a few breaths.

> > > > > > > > > > 5. Repeat steps 2 – 5 for you family.

> > > > > > > > > > 6. Repeat steps 2-5 for the people in your city

> > > > > > > > > > 7. Repeat steps 2-5 for the people in the world

> > > > > > > > > > 8. Repeat steps 2-5 for all life forms.

> > > > > > > > > > 9. Now visualize yourself in front of all the people.

Imagine your own particular brand of pain, breathe in that, imagine it being

released, and breathe out compassion and energy to yourself.

> > > > > > > > > > 10. Notice that everything is happening within the context

of your awareness. Both you and the imagined other are arising within the

awareness. You are that primary awareness, not whatever experience is arising.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

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> > > > > >

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> > > >

> > >

> >

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