letting go

[Guest guest]

Hi Family,I have been detoxing lately and just finished a 3 day fast last week and now this week I'm fasting again but eating salad instead of just fruit shakes. (As guided by my Shakti).So many things have been coming out just these past few days, I had a saddness and anxiety to address, coming from my family members and also my Mother-in-Love, They have been telephoning with problems, for the last year in fact, like a broken record, and I don't want to deal with it, when the phone rings I get anxiety and don't pick up the phone.I thought to myself during fasting "where does this come from, this anxiety and impatience?" I felt uncaring and sad. I suddenly realised, that I went from an unnurtured child to an adult expected to nurture and take care of the adults, who takes care of me? A voice asked. Where is my

support?Who was there for me and my problems? Honestly NOBODY.I realised I was not nurtured as a child by adults, and even my friends were useless and so obsessed with themselves they never nurtured me, I always worried about others, and tried to take care of them but no one took care of me. I was the strong one.When I was depressed no one asked me "whats wrong", when I needed someone no one was there except for one old lady down the road who really was my ONLY nurturance.No kind words from my own blood family, no sweet old grandma, no loving mother,no nice aunt to turn to, no nice uncle, only bitchy screw ups, angry brothers and an older sister who was only annoyed by my presence. (oh, the cats! they loved me sometimes)Really, no nurturance. How did I survive? Barely to be honest. I tried to kill myself on a few occassions, even then no one asked me what was wrong!!! Or spoke to me about it.Yesterday this feeling

of my inner child, having had no nurturance needed to be acknowledged and released, I had to forgive and let go. Seeing the chain and how those before me had received no nurturance either, and its very hard to give or receive something you weren't given as a child. And so, I let go and forgave. I know now of course that God is my nurturance and support. My husband also, and my dear friends I have met along the way since leaving my old life behind me. I still sometimes have difficulty allowing people to take care of me. To nurture me.Perhaps this is also linked to the s3xuality, as this morning after this big release I then noticed the anxiety I felt when my hubby mentioned perhaps having s3x with me later today, I said to him "I felt anxious when you said that", I never really stopped to notice and acknowledge it so directly before, I felt the stomache clamp up.And so, I have been guided to spend time in nature today and tell nature about

this feeling and let her sooth it, I am working to release this old block. Pray for me!No more fear, no more anxiety attacks, just love and free flowing energy.Thats me for now, blessings to all, still ever joyful over here, elektra x x x

[Guest guest]

Dear E,I had the same feelings yesterday. Unusual for me. And I had to "look up" to see the sun shining through the most ethereal clouds. it was then i realized that God did love me, and despite the events of my life, he/she had been looking after me all my life. i know that joy and bliss are inside you. i know that God lives inside you and loves you as his child. you are a gift to all of us here. your beautiful face is only matched by your insides. we are a collective family of sorts, all of us with little chinks taken out of us by being hurt. but we can be whole again, that is our birthright. perfect in the eyes of God. yes, you are being prayed for, blessed, and loved, by God, me, and your family here.Julie--- On Mon, 5/25/09, Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote:Elektra Fire <elektra.fireletting go Date: Monday, May 25, 2009, 7:59 AM

 

Hi Family,I have been detoxing lately and just finished a 3 day fast last week and now this week I'm fasting again but eating salad instead of just fruit shakes. (As guided by my Shakti).So many things have been coming out just these past few days, I had a saddness and anxiety to address, coming from my family members and also my Mother-in-Love, They have been telephoning with problems, for the last year in fact, like a broken record, and I don't want to deal with it, when the phone rings I get anxiety and don't pick up the phone.I thought to myself during fasting "where does this come from, this anxiety and impatience?" I felt

uncaring and sad. I suddenly realised, that I went from an unnurtured child to an adult expected to nurture and take care of the adults, who takes care of me? A voice asked. Where is my

support?Who was there for me and my problems? Honestly NOBODY.I realised I was not nurtured as a child by adults, and even my friends were useless and so obsessed with themselves they never nurtured me, I always worried about others, and tried to take care of them but no one took care of me. I was the strong one.When I was depressed no one asked me "whats wrong", when I needed someone no one was there except for one old lady down the road who really was my ONLY nurturance.No kind words from my own blood family, no sweet old grandma, no loving mother,no nice aunt to turn to, no nice uncle, only bitchy screw ups, angry brothers and an older sister who was only annoyed by my presence. (oh, the cats! they loved me sometimes)Really, no nurturance. How did I survive? Barely to be honest. I tried to kill myself on a few occassions, even then no one asked me what was wrong!!! Or spoke to me about it.Yesterday this feeling

of my inner child, having had no nurturance needed to be acknowledged and released, I had to forgive and let go. Seeing the chain and how those before me had received no nurturance either, and its very hard to give or receive something you weren't given as a child. And so, I let go and forgave. I know now of course that God is my nurturance and support. My husband also, and my dear friends I have met along the way since leaving my old life behind me. I still sometimes have difficulty allowing people to take care of me. To nurture me.Perhaps this is also linked to the s3xuality, as this morning after this big release I then noticed the anxiety I felt when my hubby mentioned perhaps having s3x with me later today, I said to him "I felt anxious when you said that", I never really stopped to notice and acknowledge it so directly before, I felt the stomache clamp up.And so, I have been guided to spend time in nature today and tell nature about

this feeling and let her sooth it, I am working to release this old block. Pray for me!No more fear, no more anxiety attacks, just love and free flowing energy.Thats me for now, blessings to all, still ever joyful over here, elektra x x x

[Guest guest]

Thanks dear julie for your kind words, I always feel nurtured here, and thats for sure :-))Love ue x x x

[Guest guest]

I pray for You lovely joyful person! Three times, one pray with joy, one pray

with light and one pray for strenght.

 

You are on your way to release the block, it is in your text.

 

" Nothing outside myself can save me, nothing outside myself can disturb my peace

or upset me in anyway. Is a god affirmation from Course in Miracles. I use it

when I am worried.

 

I did a detox a mounth ago and I used Nishan Joshis book. The detox was in three

weeks. It was realy good and let some old blocks and dirt out to the space...

The last three days were boring, but I get through. He is really god and deep

serious about detox.

 

All my love

Nina

[Guest guest]

Hi Elektra,

Hey I felt for you, reading about your experiences growing up. lots of us

have the same sort of issues only they can be a lot less obvious at first

glance. Fasting is certainly good at bringing issues out into the open for us

to deal with. Its funny you are fasting now when you are getting the message it

might be time to get pregnant soon. I am due to have my second baby (on June

21st, what a neat date! ) I also felt the message strongly that I would be

pregnant soon beforehand. I also was guided to do several light fasts early in

the pregnancy, something alot of people would consider unusual as you normally

need to keep the blood sugars level.

 

The message I got for the reasons for this was it was to cleanse my liver as it

has a heavier load to deal with in pregnancy.

It also bought up some other things to do with a blockage in my heart chakra. I

remembered a couple of past lives, that was the first time that happened. What I

learnt was that part of me basically hated people and thought they were all no

good anyway so what was the point... Lol. (It was to do with my development as a

healer) I saw myself quite casually killing people at the end of a battle, and

then i fast forwarded to being at my home on some land with a poor long

suffering wife. i had a son but I couldn't enjoy him because he would just end

up being fodder for future armies anyway. i was quite a bitter and angry man.

I saw some other stuff too including a symbolic representation of a crucifixion.

 

Actually thinking about the theme of your stuff coming up, maybe it is to help

you prepare for motherhood? ie nurturing? In any case isn't that a great thing,

that you get to clear a bit of stuff out.

I bet you will be a great mum. if that is where you're headed.

I kept dreaming about you the other night to do with pregnancy. I just wanted to

recommend you take some folic acid as its recommended before pregnancy. It

prevents things like spinabifida and should be taken for the first 12 weeks of

pregnancy.

( I was a midwife before i was a mum... Lol)

Also if I may say so, you don't need to be a sounding board for all your

familys' 'problems...I think as we vibrate higher ourselves our tolerance for

stuff like that can actually go down and it isn't always a matter of being

patient and tolerant and holy etc Lol. I've definitely found that with my own

family. We dont want to 'enable' them if you know what I mean.

Sorry if this all comes across sounding a bit know it all, ( I often think my

posts sound like that) You really sound like a person who knows who you are and

it sounds like you are going great.

Lots of love

Ana

 

 

 

 

 

, Elektra Fire

<elektra.fire wrote:

>

> Hi Family,

>

> I have been detoxing lately and just finished  a 3 day fast last week and now

this week I'm fasting again but eating salad instead of just fruit shakes. (As

guided by my Shakti).

>

> So many things have been coming out just these past few days, I had a saddness

and anxiety to address, coming from my family members and also my

Mother-in-Love,

>  They have been telephoning with problems, for the last year in fact, like a

broken record, and I don't want to deal with it, when the phone rings I get

anxiety and don't pick up the phone.

> I thought to myself during fasting " where does this come from, this anxiety

and impatience? " I felt uncaring and sad.

> I suddenly realised, that I went from an unnurtured child to an adult expected

to nurture and take care of the adults, who takes care of me? A voice asked.

Where is my support?

> Who was there for me and my problems? Honestly NOBODY.

>

> I realised I was not nurtured as a child by adults, and even my friends were

useless and so obsessed with themselves they never nurtured me, I always worried

about others, and tried to take care of them but no one took care of me. I was

the strong one.

> When I was depressed no one asked me " whats wrong " , when I needed someone no

one was there except for one old lady down the road who really was my ONLY

nurturance.

> No kind words from my own blood family, no sweet old grandma, no loving

mother,

> no nice aunt to turn to, no nice uncle, only bitchy screw ups, angry brothers

and an older sister who was only annoyed by my presence. (oh, the cats! they

loved me sometimes)

>

> Really, no nurturance. How did I survive? Barely to be honest. I tried to kill

myself on a few occassions, even then no one asked me what was wrong!!! Or spoke

to me about it.

>

> Yesterday this feeling of my inner child, having had no nurturance needed to

be acknowledged and released, I had to forgive and let go. Seeing the chain and

how those before me had received no nurturance either, and its very hard to give

or receive something you weren't given as a child. And so, I let go and forgave.

I know now of course that God is my nurturance and support. My husband also, and

my dear friends I have met along the way since leaving my old life behind me. I

still sometimes have difficulty allowing people to take care of me. To nurture

me.

>

> Perhaps this is also linked to the s3xuality, as this morning after this big

release I then noticed the anxiety I felt when my hubby mentioned perhaps having

s3x with me later today, I said to him " I felt anxious when you said that " , I

never really stopped to notice and acknowledge it so directly before, I felt the

stomache clamp up.

> And so, I have been guided to spend time in nature today and tell nature about

this feeling and let her sooth it, I am working to release this old block. Pray

for me!

>

> No more fear, no more anxiety attacks, just love and free flowing energy.

>

> Thats me for now, blessings to all, still ever joyful over here, elektra x x x

>

[Guest guest]

E:

Do it. Let it go. We, your family, support your letting go and where you're at.

Let us know about you. You are in our prayers.

Love,

Jake

 

--- On Mon, 5/25/09, Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote:

 

 

Elektra Fire <elektra.fire

letting go

 

Monday, May 25, 2009, 12:59 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Family,

 

I have been detoxing lately and just finished  a 3 day fast last week