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I had an incident yesterday. I had a dream last night that I was fighting with

my mother. I also had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Well today I find

out that my teenage sister is pregnant. I heard from a stranger that is sleeping

(leeching off my mom) in my sisters room without paying rent. I called to ask if

my mom could babysit my kids for my volunteer orientation for the food bank. I

heard from this stranger that my sister was so stressed she was cramping and had

to go to the hospital.

 

So I go to my moms house to support my sister and congratulate her because all

my mom was saying was " I hope you have a miscarriage because I don't like the

father. " The baby was fine and I let it go that nobody told me.

 

Now my mom is not a good person. At all.

 

All of her life she has abused and used me. When I was raped 2 years ago she

made it all about her. I only wanted support. When I was depressed she said to

kill myself. When I was a child she let a child molester hang around me because

he was giving her money. She has always been this dark cloud in my life that I

have tried so hard to forgive and love. I knew when I went there today to steel

myself.

 

The trust was totally obliterated today.

 

My babies were in her apartment. This woman who is living off of my mom had her

boyfriend over. A gang member I later found out. I remember asking my mom why

she lets all these people around my baby sister. Well the gang member heard and

got in my face. Face to face. Then my husbands face. Going off. My mom ran into

the house and locked the doors.

 

I had our lives threatened. We got out of it alive because my hubby is in law

enforcement and wasn't afraid. I stared this guy down. He sure could talk. He

was sexist, racist, mean. Threatened to shoot us. My hubby has a reason why he

brings a gun to my moms house. Today it helped us. The woman living at my moms

laughed.

 

My mom never called 911. She abandoned me. She claimed she was in the house

because my sister was cramping. bullshit.

 

We got the babies and I called my mom and said that she is dead to me. I cant

forgive this. My whole family was in danger and she did nothing.

 

I know she will never change. She is a sociopath in the greatest sense of the

word. I know I will never get that call of apology from her.

 

When is it okay not to forgive? If I ever DID get the call of apology I would

love her again, but I cant anymore. It will never happen. When is it healthy to

just let go. To accept that I have to cut her out of my life?

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Dear Angelikdementia,

It's always good to forgive.

Anna

 

 

angelikdementia

Thu, 4 Jun 2009 20:54:34 +0000

A question on forgiveness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When is it okay not to forgive?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_______________

Insert movie times and more without leaving Hotmail®.

http://windowslive.com/Tutorial/Hotmail/QuickAdd?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_HM_Tutorial_Q\

uickAdd_062009

 

 

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I am happy to read that no one was hurt or seriously physically injured. I do

recognize the serious emotional injuries incurred however and I do recommend a

time of separation from your mother. Not your sister but from your mother and

the stranger and her boyfriend.

 

That you are merely waiting for an apology for forgiveness to be given

demonstrates that it is within your reach. However give yourself some time and

be patient with your feelings.

 

It has been a rough period for the emotions. Let yourself go into a meditation

and allow the Shakti expressing within to sooth and ease your emotional body. As

this occurs then a gentle leaning into the expanded love of forgiveness can be

considered.

 

Merely considered. As your consciousness responds to the Kundalini Shakti her

presence will begin to heal all of the mother daughter issues that have been

accrued in your life and these will step forward for your balance to be given.

 

There is never a time where forgiveness is to be out of the equation. It is

always there to be held and nurtured especially with close family members.

Doesn't mean it has to be acted upon in the immediacy of volatile situation. Let

the flames die down and allow the morning dews to resuscitate and heal. Then the

love of forgiveness can be acted upon. Forgiving doesnt equate to continued

hardship. Forgiveness is given and if a distance needs to be maintained then so

be it.

 

In many cases forgiveness can be given immediately. In some cases it is best to

wait for a time. It is always there to aid in the healing and balancing of the

hurt. Bear no grudges. - blessings to you. - chrism

 

, " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia wrote:

>

> I had an incident yesterday.

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Okay I just forgave her. I just said... " I forgive her. But I will not have her

in my life until she changes "

 

I remember what Jesus said to his persecutors. Forgive them for they know not

what they do. I remember that saying. It gives me great comfort. They don't know

what they are doing. That is their problem. Their cross that they must bear. It

has nothing to do with me. But I refuse to let an unhealthy situation unbalance

and derail me. It isn't healthy for her to be around me. But like I said, if she

changes I will be here with open arms. I will always love her. From a good SAFE

distance. Hah.

 

I have told her for so long to get these people out of her house. I think it was

their guilt that made them threaten us. Whatever. Their problem. Not mine. Not

anymore. The path to hell is paved with good intentions right? Well I can't help

someone whom is unwilling to help themselves. They must do the work.

 

I do forgive her now. I was just so angry. I feel stronger now and my anger is

leaving me.

 

 

Thank you for your words chrism.

 

-Tiffany

 

, " chrism " <>

wrote:

>

> I am happy to read that no one was hurt or seriously physically injured. I do

recognize the serious emotional injuries incurred however and I do recommend a

time of separation from your mother. Not your sister but from your mother and

the stranger and her boyfriend.

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I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. Imo, we should always forgive

and there is never a time when it is ok not to. Forgiveness benefits

you far more than the person you forgive. It releases you from the

bondage of anger and hatred. The person you are not forgiving is most

likely living their life as usual, while you are steaming. Two favorite

quotes of mine:

 

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of

throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned ~ Buddha

 

Resentment is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die ~ Nelson

Mandela

 

Just because you forgive someone does not mean that you have to include

them in your life. It is perfectly ok to discontinue or put on hold a

relationship that is not healthy for you.

 

I wish you peace during this difficult time.

 

Sarita

 

 

 

 

, " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia wrote:

>

> I had an incident yesterday. I had a dream last night that I was

fighting with my mother. I also had a dream last night that I was

pregnant. Well today I find out that my teenage sister is pregnant. I

heard from a stranger that is sleeping (leeching off my mom) in my

sisters room without paying rent. I called to ask if my mom could

babysit my kids for my volunteer orientation for the food bank. I heard

from this stranger that my sister was so stressed she was cramping and

had to go to the hospital.

>

> So I go to my moms house to support my sister and congratulate her

because all my mom was saying was " I hope you have a miscarriage because

I don't like the father. " The baby was fine and I let it go that nobody

told me.

>

> Now my mom is not a good person. At all.

>

> All of her life she has abused and used me. When I was raped 2 years

ago she made it all about her. I only wanted support. When I was

depressed she said to kill myself. When I was a child she let a child

molester hang around me because he was giving her money. She has always

been this dark cloud in my life that I have tried so hard to forgive and

love. I knew when I went there today to steel myself.

>

> The trust was totally obliterated today.

>

> My babies were in her apartment. This woman who is living off of my

mom had her boyfriend over. A gang member I later found out. I remember

asking my mom why she lets all these people around my baby sister. Well

the gang member heard and got in my face. Face to face. Then my husbands

face. Going off. My mom ran into the house and locked the doors.

>

> I had our lives threatened. We got out of it alive because my hubby is

in law enforcement and wasn't afraid. I stared this guy down. He sure

could talk. He was sexist, racist, mean. Threatened to shoot us. My

hubby has a reason why he brings a gun to my moms house. Today it helped

us. The woman living at my moms laughed.

>

> My mom never called 911. She abandoned me. She claimed she was in the

house because my sister was cramping. bullshit.

>

> We got the babies and I called my mom and said that she is dead to me.

I cant forgive this. My whole family was in danger and she did nothing.

>

> I know she will never change. She is a sociopath in the greatest sense

of the word. I know I will never get that call of apology from her.

>

> When is it okay not to forgive? If I ever DID get the call of apology

I would love her again, but I cant anymore. It will never happen. When

is it healthy to just let go. To accept that I have to cut her out of my

life?

>

 

 

 

 

 

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LOL I already forgave =)

 

I was just angry. Like I said in my second post on the subject.

 

Hah I dealt with the fear demon of the root chakra a while ago... today I faced

and beat the anger demon of the navel chakra.

 

I wonder what the next test brings! I cant wait!!

 

Lots of love!!!

Tiffany

 

 

 

 

, " Sarita " <sarita1969

wrote:

>

>

> I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. Imo, we should always forgive

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I feel for you, what you're going through. For what its worth, though I don't

have a dangerous or overly abusive family member, my experience. What I've

learned being a recovering alcoholic that uses the principles of AA, forgiveness

is really for me (although spiritually I believe it helps all parties). My

resentment towards another person does not hurt anyone as much as myself. I

remember years ago now going to Ireland with my Dad to take my mom's ashes. I

hadn't spent that much time with my dad in decades. one day, he really made me

angry and I went walking. I was thinking over and over how I wanted him to say

hes sorry, not just for that day but for my whole life. I was fixated on this,

pounding the pavement near Dublin. Some young kid was bicycling towards me on

the sidewalk, maybe a 10-year old boy, and he slowed way down, looked me

intently in the eyes and said, I am so sorry. I immediately got that this was

my apology, that my Dad would never say I'm sorry in so many words, and I let

go. After that, my dad & I got along for the duration of the trip and I

realized I was making myself miserable. More recently, I realized that I had a

lot of unresolved stuff with my family. I created a ritual to let go of them.

I created a ball of strings, barbs, hooks, etc. all the things that had

symbolically represented what our relationship was made up of. Then, I took it

to the woods and released them with love and light. It was the beginning of

feeling less emotionally attached to them.

love and blessings to you,

Jan

- In , " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia wrote:

>

> I had an incident yesterday. I had a dream last night that I was fighting with

my mother. I also had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Well today I find

out that my teenage sister is pregnant. I heard from a stranger that is sleeping

(leeching off my mom) in my sisters room without paying rent. I called to ask if

my mom could babysit my kids for my volunteer orientation for the food bank. I

heard from this stranger that my sister was so stressed she was cramping and had

to go to the hospital.

>

> So I go to my moms house to support my sister and congratulate her because all

my mom was saying was " I hope you have a miscarriage because I don't like the

father. " The baby was fine and I let it go that nobody told me.

>

> Now my mom is not a good person. At all.

>

> All of her life she has abused and used me. When I was raped 2 years ago she

made it all about her. I only wanted support. When I was depressed she said to

kill myself. When I was a child she let a child molester hang around me because

he was giving her money. She has always been this dark cloud in my life that I

have tried so hard to forgive and love. I knew when I went there today to steel

myself.

>

> The trust was totally obliterated today.

>

> My babies were in her apartment. This woman who is living off of my mom had

her boyfriend over. A gang member I later found out. I remember asking my mom

why she lets all these people around my baby sister. Well the gang member heard

and got in my face. Face to face. Then my husbands face. Going off. My mom ran

into the house and locked the doors.

>

> I had our lives threatened. We got out of it alive because my hubby is in law

enforcement and wasn't afraid. I stared this guy down. He sure could talk. He

was sexist, racist, mean. Threatened to shoot us. My hubby has a reason why he

brings a gun to my moms house. Today it helped us. The woman living at my moms

laughed.

>

> My mom never called 911. She abandoned me. She claimed she was in the house

because my sister was cramping. bullshit.

>

> We got the babies and I called my mom and said that she is dead to me. I cant

forgive this. My whole family was in danger and she did nothing.

>

> I know she will never change. She is a sociopath in the greatest sense of the

word. I know I will never get that call of apology from her.

>

> When is it okay not to forgive? If I ever DID get the call of apology I would

love her again, but I cant anymore. It will never happen. When is it healthy to

just let go. To accept that I have to cut her out of my life?

>

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Or, as in AA, we could " realize the people who wronged us were perhaps

spritually sick.  Though we did not like their syptoms and the way these

disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.  We asked God to help us show

them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a

sick friend.  When a person offended we said to ourselves, " This is a sick man. 

How can I be helpful to him?  God save me from being angry.  Thy will be done. "

 

pg 67......... " Alcoholics Anonymous " the fourth edition

 

 

Julie

 

--- On Thu, 6/4/09, Jan <drjandean wrote:

 

 

Jan <drjandean

Re: A question on forgiveness

 

Thursday, June 4, 2009, 7:12 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel for you, what you're going through. For what its worth, though I don't

have a dangerous or overly abusive family member, my experience. What I've

learned being a recovering alcoholic that uses the principles of AA, forgiveness

is really for me (although spiritually I believe it helps all parties). My

resentment towards another person does not hurt anyone as much as myself. I

remember years ago now going to Ireland with my Dad to take my mom's ashes. I

hadn't spent that much time with my dad in decades. one day, he really made me

angry and I went walking. I was thinking over and over how I wanted him to say

hes sorry, not just for that day but for my whole life. I was fixated on this,

pounding the pavement near Dublin. Some young kid was bicycling towards me on

the sidewalk, maybe a 10-year old boy, and he slowed way down, looked me

intently in the eyes and said, I am so sorry. I immediately got that this was my

apology, that my Dad would never say

I'm sorry in so many words, and I let go. After that, my dad & I got along for

the duration of the trip and I realized I was making myself miserable. More

recently, I realized that I had a lot of unresolved stuff with my family. I

created a ritual to let go of them. I created a ball of strings, barbs, hooks,

etc. all the things that had symbolically represented what our relationship was

made up of. Then, I took it to the woods and released them with love and light.

It was the beginning of feeling less emotionally attached to them.

love and blessings to you,

Jan

- In Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia@ ...> wrote:

>

> I had an incident yesterday. I had a dream last night that I was fighting with

my mother. I also had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Well today I find

out that my teenage sister is pregnant. I heard from a stranger that is sleeping

(leeching off my mom) in my sisters room without paying rent. I called to ask if

my mom could babysit my kids for my volunteer orientation for the food bank. I

heard from this stranger that my sister was so stressed she was cramping and had

to go to the hospital.

>

> So I go to my moms house to support my sister and congratulate her because all

my mom was saying was " I hope you have a miscarriage because I don't like the

father. " The baby was fine and I let it go that nobody told me.

>

> Now my mom is not a good person. At all.

>

> All of her life she has abused and used me. When I was raped 2 years ago she

made it all about her. I only wanted support. When I was depressed she said to

kill myself. When I was a child she let a child molester hang around me because

he was giving her money. She has always been this dark cloud in my life that I

have tried so hard to forgive and love. I knew when I went there today to steel

myself.

>

> The trust was totally obliterated today.

>

> My babies were in her apartment. This woman who is living off of my mom had

her boyfriend over. A gang member I later found out. I remember asking my mom

why she lets all these people around my baby sister. Well the gang member heard

and got in my face. Face to face. Then my husbands face. Going off. My mom ran

into the house and locked the doors.

>

> I had our lives threatened. We got out of it alive because my hubby is in law

enforcement and wasn't afraid. I stared this guy down. He sure could talk. He

was sexist, racist, mean. Threatened to shoot us. My hubby has a reason why he

brings a gun to my moms house. Today it helped us. The woman living at my moms

laughed.

>

> My mom never called 911. She abandoned me. She claimed she was in the house

because my sister was cramping. bullshit.

>

> We got the babies and I called my mom and said that she is dead to me. I cant

forgive this. My whole family was in danger and she did nothing.

>

> I know she will never change. She is a sociopath in the greatest sense of the

word. I know I will never get that call of apology from her.

>

> When is it okay not to forgive? If I ever DID get the call of apology I would

love her again, but I cant anymore. It will never happen. When is it healthy to

just let go. To accept that I have to cut her out of my life?

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks Julie,

Yes, Bill said it much more succinctly than I.

 

, Julie <jewelport

wrote:

>

> Or, as in AA, we could " realize the people who wronged us were perhaps

spritually sick.  Though we did not like their syptoms and the way these

disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.  We asked God to help us show

them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a

sick friend.  When a person offended we said to ourselves, " This is a sick man. 

How can I be helpful to him?  God save me from being angry.  Thy will be done. "

>  

> pg 67......... " Alcoholics Anonymous " the fourth edition

>

>

> Julie

>

> --- On Thu, 6/4/09, Jan <drjandean wrote:

>

>

> Jan <drjandean

> Re: A question on forgiveness

>

> Thursday, June 4, 2009, 7:12 PM

>

>

I feel for you, what you're going through. For what its worth, though I don't

have a dangerous or overly abusive family member, my experience. What I've

learned being a recovering alcoholic that uses the principles of AA, forgiveness

is really for me (although spiritually I believe it helps all parties). My

resentment towards another person does not hurt anyone as much as myself. I

remember years ago now going to Ireland with my Dad to take my mom's ashes. I

hadn't spent that much time with my dad in decades. one day, he really made me

angry and I went walking. I was thinking over and over how I wanted him to say

hes sorry, not just for that day but for my whole life. I was fixated on this,

pounding the pavement near Dublin. Some young kid was bicycling towards me on

the sidewalk, maybe a 10-year old boy, and he slowed way down, looked me

intently in the eyes and said, I am so sorry. I immediately got that this was my

apology, that my Dad would never say

> I'm sorry in so many words, and I let go. After that, my dad & I got along

for the duration of the trip and I realized I was making myself miserable. More

recently, I realized that I had a lot of unresolved stuff with my family. I

created a ritual to let go of them. I created a ball of strings, barbs, hooks,

etc. all the things that had symbolically represented what our relationship was

made up of. Then, I took it to the woods and released them with love and light.

It was the beginning of feeling less emotionally attached to them.

> love and blessings to you,

> Jan

> - In Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia@ ...> wrote:

> >

> > I had an incident yesterday. I had a dream last night that I was fighting

with my mother. I also had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Well today I

find out that my teenage sister is pregnant. I heard from a stranger that is

sleeping (leeching off my mom) in my sisters room without paying rent. I called

to ask if my mom could babysit my kids for my volunteer orientation for the food

bank. I heard from this stranger that my sister was so stressed she was cramping

and had to go to the hospital.

> >

> > So I go to my moms house to support my sister and congratulate her because

all my mom was saying was " I hope you have a miscarriage because I don't like

the father. " The baby was fine and I let it go that nobody told me.

> >

> > Now my mom is not a good person. At all.

> >

> > All of her life she has abused and used me. When I was raped 2 years ago she

made it all about her. I only wanted support. When I was depressed she said to

kill myself. When I was a child she let a child molester hang around me because

he was giving her money. She has always been this dark cloud in my life that I

have tried so hard to forgive and love. I knew when I went there today to steel

myself.

> >

> > The trust was totally obliterated today.

> >

> > My babies were in her apartment. This woman who is living off of my mom had

her boyfriend over. A gang member I later found out. I remember asking my mom

why she lets all these people around my baby sister. Well the gang member heard

and got in my face. Face to face. Then my husbands face. Going off. My mom ran

into the house and locked the doors.

> >

> > I had our lives threatened. We got out of it alive because my hubby is in

law enforcement and wasn't afraid. I stared this guy down. He sure could talk.

He was sexist, racist, mean. Threatened to shoot us. My hubby has a reason why

he brings a gun to my moms house. Today it helped us. The woman living at my

moms laughed.

> >

> > My mom never called 911. She abandoned me. She claimed she was in the house

because my sister was cramping. bullshit.

> >

> > We got the babies and I called my mom and said that she is dead to me. I

cant forgive this. My whole family was in danger and she did nothing.

> >

> > I know she will never change. She is a sociopath in the greatest sense of

the word. I know I will never get that call of apology from her.

> >

> > When is it okay not to forgive? If I ever DID get the call of apology I

would love her again, but I cant anymore. It will never happen. When is it

healthy to just let go. To accept that I have to cut her out of my life?

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

 

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Guest guest

Trust me dear one...i've been reading it for years; and almost each and every

time someone wrongs me, i have to go back to that page........

 

namaste beautiful child...........

 

 

Julie

 

--- On Thu, 6/4/09, Jan <drjandean wrote:

 

 

Jan <drjandean

Re: A question on forgiveness

 

Thursday, June 4, 2009, 7:54 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Julie,

Yes, Bill said it much more succinctly than I.

 

Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , Julie <jewelport@. ..>

wrote:

>

> Or, as in AA, we could " realize the people who wronged us were perhaps

spritually sick.  Though we did not like their syptoms and the way these

disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.  We asked God to help us show

them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a

sick friend.  When a person offended we said to ourselves, " This is a sick man. 

How can I be helpful to him?  God save me from being angry.  Thy will be done. "

>  

> pg 67......... " Alcoholics Anonymous " the fourth edition

>

>

> Julie

>

> --- On Thu, 6/4/09, Jan <drjandean@. ..> wrote:

>

>

> Jan <drjandean@. ..>

> [Kundalini-Awakenin g-Systems- 1] Re: A question on forgiveness

> Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1

> Thursday, June 4, 2009, 7:12 PM

>

>

I feel for you, what you're going through. For what its worth, though I don't

have a dangerous or overly abusive family member, my experience. What I've

learned being a recovering alcoholic that uses the principles of AA, forgiveness

is really for me (although spiritually I believe it helps all parties). My

resentment towards another person does not hurt anyone as much as myself. I

remember years ago now going to Ireland with my Dad to take my mom's ashes. I

hadn't spent that much time with my dad in decades. one day, he really made me

angry and I went walking. I was thinking over and over how I wanted him to say

hes sorry, not just for that day but for my whole life. I was fixated on this,

pounding the pavement near Dublin. Some young kid was bicycling towards me on

the sidewalk, maybe a 10-year old boy, and he slowed way down, looked me

intently in the eyes and said, I am so sorry. I immediately got that this was my

apology, that my Dad would never

say

> I'm sorry in so many words, and I let go. After that, my dad & I got along for

the duration of the trip and I realized I was making myself miserable. More

recently, I realized that I had a lot of unresolved stuff with my family. I

created a ritual to let go of them. I created a ball of strings, barbs, hooks,

etc. all the things that had symbolically represented what our relationship was

made up of. Then, I took it to the woods and released them with love and light.

It was the beginning of feeling less emotionally attached to them.

> love and blessings to you,

> Jan

> - In Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia@ ...> wrote:

> >

> > I had an incident yesterday. I had a dream last night that I was fighting

with my mother. I also had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Well today I

find out that my teenage sister is pregnant. I heard from a stranger that is

sleeping (leeching off my mom) in my sisters room without paying rent. I called

to ask if my mom could babysit my kids for my volunteer orientation for the food

bank. I heard from this stranger that my sister was so stressed she was cramping

and had to go to the hospital.

> >

> > So I go to my moms house to support my sister and congratulate her because

all my mom was saying was " I hope you have a miscarriage because I don't like

the father. " The baby was fine and I let it go that nobody told me.

> >

> > Now my mom is not a good person. At all.

> >

> > All of her life she has abused and used me. When I was raped 2 years ago she

made it all about her. I only wanted support. When I was depressed she said to

kill myself. When I was a child she let a child molester hang around me because

he was giving her money. She has always been this dark cloud in my life that I

have tried so hard to forgive and love. I knew when I went there today to steel

myself.

> >

> > The trust was totally obliterated today.

> >

> > My babies were in her apartment. This woman who is living off of my mom had

her boyfriend over. A gang member I later found out. I remember asking my mom

why she lets all these people around my baby sister. Well the gang member heard

and got in my face. Face to face. Then my husbands face. Going off. My mom ran

into the house and locked the doors.

> >

> > I had our lives threatened. We got out of it alive because my hubby is in

law enforcement and wasn't afraid. I stared this guy down. He sure could talk.

He was sexist, racist, mean. Threatened to shoot us. My hubby has a reason why

he brings a gun to my moms house. Today it helped us. The woman living at my

moms laughed.

> >

> > My mom never called 911. She abandoned me. She claimed she was in the house

because my sister was cramping. bullshit.

> >

> > We got the babies and I called my mom and said that she is dead to me. I

cant forgive this. My whole family was in danger and she did nothing.

> >

> > I know she will never change. She is a sociopath in the greatest sense of

the word. I know I will never get that call of apology from her.

> >

> > When is it okay not to forgive? If I ever DID get the call of apology I

would love her again, but I cant anymore. It will never happen. When is it

healthy to just let go. To accept that I have to cut her out of my life?

> >

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Dear one,

 

You can forgive when you are ready, let yourself calm down and then pray.

 

Forgiveness does not depend on the others actions, you cannot change who your

mother is, but you can accept it, try not to judge her, and move on. Don't take

it personally, she cannot help her self at the moment, she is not with eyes

open.

 

Forgiving her does not mean you have to see her, or invite her over for dinner,

or go to her home, never put your self at risk. But, it means you can allow the

pain and hurt to be released from within your being so that it does not sit

there harming you and festering.

Do it for yourself and your children and husband. Unforgiveness ruins lives.

 

It may seem hard now as the wound is still fresh, but the sooner you begin

working on it the less harm it will do and the easier it will be to release it.

 

Much love and many prayers for you sweet sister, you've been through a lot.

But remember, our parents are only human, full of flaws, the perfect tv family

is not a common thing, far more common is the dysfunctional family.  The kind

that sticks knives in your heart on a regular basis. We are here to learn

lessons the hard way. The joy that comes , the grace that comes upon someone who

can forgive the most heinus crimes, is the most precious gift of all. Divine

heart, divine mind within. Peace and joy ever lasting.

 

love elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

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