Hello to you all, - from Julia Ahern - regarding Teachers

June 10, 2009

Hello to you all, I joined a few days ago. About 2 years ago something

amazing and terrible happened to me. To cut a long story short , one night I

was was blasted into the void or the nothingness... which was also the

everything.....

I was part of the everything/nothing, I was the whole vast endless void and

yet at the same time I experienced being a tiny speck in the void....

I actuallycan't put words on the experience because there are none. Anyway

there followed bliss and oneness and merging and extacy... living in the

physical world was a wow to say the least.... Anyway I also Knew...

I know this sounds weird but I just knew... some time before this happened to me

the need or desire to eat flesh just left me...

I became an instant vegetarian, that has not changed and 3 years later I do not

eat flesh. Anyway things changed... I don't even remember the sequence of

events now because when something passes with me it is no more and I can not

recall detail.

I know that I struggled not to place an attachment on the " happenings " I knew I

could become addicted to the feelings and the happenings....

I knew it was important to accept what was happening and to place no demands on

it... I felt gratitude and love and oneness... then at some stage those changed

and I was abandoned... I had no knowledge of Kundalini until I googled about the

phenonomen that had apeened to me. I was born a Catholic and I was amazed at

the visions and spontanious movement s I did during meditation...(meditation to

me was always about breathing in from above and quitening my mind, listen to/for

the voice of God...

often wondering if he did exist! I occasionally prayed but did not follow any

tradition and I never did yoga) I had a problem with the very strong Eastern

images and visions and movements I was doing spontaniously...

I mean why those ??? I more than dreamed about buddah, I was buddah in the

dream also I was some hindu godess... I also know what it is like to be a wolf

and to be an iguana completly still on the branch of a tree...... I experienced

this and more during the very intence days after the void.....

Much later when I read of Kundalini I was not sure what was happening was

kundalini..and in a way it did not matter what the name was, I did surrender to

all the physical things, both the pleasent and not so pleasent.....I surrendered

to the way...

I would be aware of my ego nattering on and on at me and I tried not to engage

in a full blown war with it... anyway to cut long story short when things

changed I learned to live with the absence of phenomena and the loss of interest

and apathy that arrived and other things within me.... then this other presence

that I had been aware of ( or thought I was aware of) became too much...

I senced it was dark, evil , and I began to feel fear... Although all of what

had happened to me in the previous year was WOW I had never felt fear before...

I had felt that the Energy or the grace that was with in me or that I was

within.. had an intellegence and was considerate of me... it knew me and was

kind or merciful to me.. it is very hard to put words on this...

Anyway the other dark presence began to " grow " and my fear grew / or the fear

grew and the evil presence did !... I sometimes smelled sulphar.....I began to

worry about the devil about being possessed, I began to worry about the entity

jumping from me into my beautiful children. I began to think that the Kundalini

had tricked me into surrendering and now possessed my very soul.( I know , very

dramatic but so awful at the time)

Meanwhile I appeared to be living an ordinary life, I was able to cope well and

get through the days not letting my children be affected... my sh**te was not as

important as their well being... anyway I think I tried to allow those feeling

to just be and not to engage with the fear...

again I can't exactly remember... but at some stage I decideddto go and talk to

a naturopath who I knew was of Christian orientation and who had done loads of

work in India and who I had heard could communicate with spirits I trusted to be

good intentioned.. this was a very big thing for me to do and out side my

comfort zone so I must have been really desperate lLOL....

Stuff was happening again but there was no " good " feelings no bliss or merging

or love or gratitude , no oneness, no connection to everything...just an evil

presence and the physical " stuff " ... I was going around with a huge buzzing

helmet on my head... well it was really more like an inverted funnel than a

helmet...it fillted nicely on my head and the funnel bit went into the air and I

was fearful of that too...

I felt like any old entity who fancied it could just pop into me through the

funnel... The woman said I could not be going aroound with my crown chakra open

like that and she closed it ...(It did not close straight away bit did gradually

close) She said I would not have been experiencing Kundalini and that no one

should be walking around with huge movements up and down the spine all day....

Anyway by going there and deciding I really wanted the Kundalini or what ever to

stop.... it did stop.... the sence of a presence went and the sence of evil went

too.... I must tell you here that although this was not a good time for me no

one was aware of this except my husband and I would not have told him either

about all the " things " , as indeed I can't here either....

so anyway time has passed ( 12 months) and yes " things " are happening

again..... The WOW or the nothingness has not happened (maybe that is a once

off) I care not wheiter it happens or not... the thing is that I know I am being

offered another opportunity for grace and transformation..... Can I just grab

that opportunity and go with it ... no not really!!! What is wrong with me!!!???

I just do not quite " get " the Kundalini.. from where and from who???

I know I will never understand the kundalini or God but I need to have some

reference for what kundalini is.... I know it is real I know I am with in it or

it is within me...but I worry about choosing something as being more important

that our creator.... and telling me we are all one and the same and in each

othere and all that does not work for me.... I know that is all true... I

experienced it...

I can't understand why I can't go with the flow.... But Kundalini is not God...

or is it... I know we are all god to each other... but if I believe that God is

fathere and Jesus Christ is one and the Holy spirit manifests as the love of

father and son and also god.... where does kundalini fit in???? I had a flash

yesterday that I am the instrument and the kundalini is the musician who plays

me and chooses the music, but god or the creator is the conductor...

I guess I have such a huge desire to surrender fully to Kundalini but who or

what is Kundalini... I believe that I should and can, only surrender to God by

virture of my birth into a Catholic family... However at this moment in time I

am more atuned to kundalini than to God and this really bothers me. The other

night I decided to trust that God knows my intentions and struggles and that in

surrendering to Kundalini He will know that it is to find the path to him....

I some how never believe my own intentions and wonder when will I take that

step. I think if I believe in god I believe in his opposite and I find it

difficult to trust that I am on a path that is ultimatly safe even though the

journey on the path might be wild and insane at times.

Also I have a difficulty with deliberatly trying to get Kundalini going as it

were.... This is an example of my way... After the bliss and everything had

happened and I became aware of Kundalini... I decided that I probably should

have some kind of practice daily... after all I did not have a daily practice

and was too casual and possibly lazy for ritual and routine....

and that seemed important whnen ever I read about Kundalini.... so I decided

that perhaps I should go and check out Kundalini yoga and I did. I had no

problem doing most of the postures... and I was amazed to see that some if not

all of the muscle control exercises and breathing exercises were what I was

doing spontaniously when in kundalini. I did not like it very much though as a

practice....

there was something not ok about forcing it , or faking those movements with out

being in kundalini... I am not sure if that makes any sence. so I did not keep

up that yoga at all... the truth was that I knew something of Kundalini energy

all ready and I felt a fake there. so I still do no practice, ..So at some

time in the last couple of months I became aware of something and at night I had

to throw my pillow out of the bed so that my back was straight..... kundalini

gently began to move me and now I am here...

There are movements in my spine again even during the day... I can do my work

and observe them happening, sometimes I get a wash of buzzing electricity in my

head... along the surface or through the skull... sometimes I feel a huge surge

of connection with kundalini when this happens .. or connection with everything

or a oneness... it lasts a few seconds and passes...

Anyway I am going on for too long.....So I looked at the safeties... yes I do

the locks...finger, tongue and eyes.. I can do the forgiveness and others... but

I have stopped at the 5 tibetians... Why?... Kundalini comes and plays when and

where she chooses and the rest is about accepting it is her choice when to

manifest and I surrender to that.. or at least aspire to surrender .... Living

in service and love and gratitiude.... I think the tibetans are forcing it for

me... why do something so ritualistic... Am I resisting... is my ego in

charge.... It can be very hard to see myself sometimes so I need some help....

I would definitly be resisting submitting to a teacher... Do I need a specific

teacher or do I continue on just myself and Kundalini and this group that I have

just discovered?... I would not want to surrender compleatly to a teacher...

LOL look how difficult I find surrendering to Kundalini!!

I am sending this now before i change my mind.

June 10, 2009

Hello there, what you write is common to many as experience of Kundalini,can be

confusing.

I think you can see that this site is there to help people such as your self.

The ''K'' will push your belief systems around till you can see different

aspects of Spirit,

as our Churches and even you Naturopath do not understand. This is a site for

managing

full Kundalini expansion and how to manage its phenomena.

As regards submitting to a teacher well here you can do as you wish,and i do see

your point,

as we have all met Charletans,or those who seek to control or just take our

money. is none of the above.

So be welcome here,and i can give you a tip or two......the Safeties save you

fom a lot of pain and confusion....

dont follow them all and Divine Mother can bite you hard till you get the

correct attitude.

So be welcome and be blessed here others will

greet you too,

Richard.

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 02:19:02 +0000

Hello to you all, - from Julia Ahern -

regarding Teachers

Hello to you all, I joined a few days ago. About 2 years ago something amazing

and terrible happened to me. To cut a long story short , one night I was was

blasted into the void or the nothingness... which was also the everything.....

I was part of the everything/nothing, I was the whole vast endless void and yet

at the same time I experienced being a tiny speck in the void....

I actuallycan't put words on the experience because there are none. Anyway there

followed bliss and oneness and merging and extacy... living in the physical

world was a wow to say the least.... Anyway I also Knew...

I know this sounds weird but I just knew... some time before this happened to me

the need or desire to eat flesh just left me...

I became an instant vegetarian, that has not changed and 3 years later I do not

eat flesh. Anyway things changed... I don't even remember the sequence of events

now because when something passes with me it is no more and I can not recall

detail.

I know that I struggled not to place an attachment on the " happenings " I knew I

could become addicted to the feelings and the happenings....

I knew it was important to accept what was happening and to place no demands on

it... I felt gratitude and love and oneness... then at some stage those changed

and I was abandoned... I had no knowledge of Kundalini until I googled about the

phenonomen that had apeened to me. I was born a Catholic and I was amazed at the

visions and spontanious movement s I did during meditation...(meditation to me

was always about breathing in from above and quitening my mind, listen to/for

the voice of God...

often wondering if he did exist! I occasionally prayed but did not follow any

tradition and I never did yoga) I had a problem with the very strong Eastern

images and visions and movements I was doing spontaniously...

I mean why those ??? I more than dreamed about buddah, I was buddah in the dream

also I was some hindu godess... I also know what it is like to be a wolf and to

be an iguana completly still on the branch of a tree...... I experienced this

and more during the very intence days after the void.....