How to surrender?

[Guest guest]

Hello,

 

yesterday I got completely out of my balance. That showed me once more on old

problem: how can I surrender or let things go, when I need it most but there is

no conscious thought " Now would be a good time to surender " ? How can I love,

when I get flushed away by a flood of anger and frustration?

 

I hope I can make my question clear...

 

When I'm in a normal mood / in a normal emotional state, I can e.g. make a

conscious decision, if I take a walk to the beach or rather make some yoga

excercises. But when emotions get high, I get unconscious - it's like a film

that plays and I can't interfere. This only happens, when I'm overstrained. When

I get triggered by a special situation, the film plays...

 

A few words to what happened yesterday: I said something to my wife

(unfortunatley also in a quite aggressive way) that I shouldn't say. Afterwards

(I always calm down very quickly) I got angry about myself " How can one, who

lives a spriritual life and is meditating for years, say such foolish things... "

My wife and I had some very exhausting months in the past and had and still have

often days, where we were/are completely overstrained.

 

I don't want to react no more in an manner that I don't like myself.

But as I said, a flood of emotions switches off the conscious mind.

 

At this occasion I want to repeat my declaration of my intent from the deep

bottom of my heart, that I truly want to give the guidance to my higher self and

to trust the divinity so I can live the peaceful and joyful life I want.

 

I would be glad, if you have some practical hints for me to always stay in my

balance. I experience such peaceful and joyful moments during meditation. But I

wonder what is it worth, when I forget all I learned, forget all the peace

inside my, forget my higher self and divinity, forget anything when life really

is challenging/provoking (?) me and I lose my conscious mind...

 

Yes, maybe my ego is still very strong. But I hope and belief that this

shaktipat can start the transformation.

 

thank you and blessing to all of you

 

robert

 

ps. @chrism: I like the 5 tibetans now ;-)

[Guest guest]

I had the same issues in the beginning. What worked for me was surrendering the

feelings to Shakti and to my higher self to resolve within me. Willing to go

with the flow and allow the emotions to come as they would. They must reveal

themselves to be healed. This is the " hard part " of the process.

 

You have to forgive yourself for your frustration. You're not expected to become

perfectly spiritual and all knowing overnight. Let it go through it's death

throes and detach yourself from the emotional volatility. Feel it, see it, but

let it ride through you like a passing cloud. Fighting it will not do any good

in my personal experience.

 

Perhaps finding why you feel this way and put some light on it and where it

stemmed from may help. Just take your time. It will all take care of itself.

 

Just my simple thoughts on it. Everyone is an individual and what works for one

may not work for another.

 

-Tiffany

 

 

, " robert_vergin "

<robert.vergin wrote:

>

> Hello,

>

> yesterday I got completely out of my balance. That showed me once more on old

problem: how can I surrender or let things go, when I need it most but there is

no conscious thought " Now would be a good time to surender " ? How can I love,

when I get flushed away by a flood of anger and frustration?

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Robert,

 

Did you see my post " over come by anger " ? I just went through the same thing,

its all consuming in the moment and you seem unable to stop the loop playing

from the ego mind.

I totally understand.

 

Try not to be hard on yourself, we are only human with human flaws and emotions.

We cannot be perfect in every moment, we can strive towards it and we will reach

it but along the way we will make mistakes, the important thing is that we

realise it. We understand it was a mistake! Thats the whole point. Just keep

eating healthy foods, drink water, get fresh air and excercise and pray and do

your best, we will all send out a little extra energy your way to help you along

if you but ask.

 

Lets let go together, hand in hand, heart with heart.

blessings

elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Robert,

 

The first thing to say is you are not perfect, just a human being who is

striving to live a conscious life and who sometimes fails... the thing is though

you are aware of failing and you want to do something about it.  I do not hear

you blaming your wife ....you are taking responsibiity for your own behaviour so

Robert give thanks that you are in that loving place. that your intent is honest

and all will be well.   

 

That said... I did smile when I read " it is like a film that plays and I can't

interfere " I can relate to that, as can most people that are in a long term

relationshoip.   For me it is like and " old tape "   There is a term called

Parataxic distortion.... it describes when we react in the present but we are in

fact reacting to " an old tape " from the past... so reaction in present to past

situation, but we are not aware consciously of that at the time!!   Parataxic

distortion is usually why we over react to something small..  When I learned

about this and I found myself over reacting to something I would say " parataxic

distortion "   My partner also learned about this and it helped us to stop when

the old tape played and not to be disrespectful to each other.  ( the old tape

still slips past us sometimes but hey...we are not perfect or anything near

it)   

 

I often think about gurus and hermits and saints and most, if not all of them,

lived  lives with out partners.... I think it is much much much easier to live

the realised and conscious life when you do it alone! So be gentle with your

self.

 

For me communication is key Robert and you asked if anyone had practical things

to suggest... I would suggest and you may be doing this all ready.. talking to

your partner about it.. tell her that you do not want to behave like this.... 

talk about how you both want to be with each other in your relationship.. tell

her you love her and that it pains you when you are unloving.. sometimes

partners can feel isolated if the other partner is deeply involved in life

changing practices and philosophies.. fear and rejection arise for them....

 

If her well being, is as important as your own, then you will truely hear her

and what she is saying to you... I think in relationship our desire to

facillitate  peace and joy for the other  as we share our lives brings peace and

joy to our own being.

 

It can be difficult to " leave " the peace we experience in meditation.  I know at

times I resent the intrusion and demands of partner and family... but I remind

myself that I was born to live the life of a human being,  and I chose to live

this life with a partner and family.  I know that my own growth and development

and conscious living is absolutly dependant on how I treat them. 

I am learning that service to my family is like a continious meditation.

 

Thank you Robert 

Love Julie. 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________

robert_vergin <robert.vergin

 

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 6:56:07 PM

How to surrender?

 

 

 

 

 

Hello,

 

yesterday I got completely out of my balance. That showed me once more on old

problem: how can I surrender or let things go, when I need it most but there is

no conscious thought " Now would be a good time to surender " ? How can I love,

when I get flushed away by a flood of anger and frustration?

 

I hope I can make my question clear...

 

 

 

________________________________

(1) New IQ Challenge. 92.6% of Americans get this question wrong!.

 

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[Guest guest]

I was trained that when we are in a tight spot and emotionally squeezed just

before we blow our stack ....or speak words we regret later.

We have a 2 second space to back right off and not blow.

I have checked this out the space is there .....but gone in a flash if we miss

it.

I think this is Shakti or a Intuition from our higher consciousness. Its a

space an inner prompting.

Its a moment in which we may surrender.

But you gotta be quick to catch that moment.....kinda like a kid chasing

Moonbeams.

Richard

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

 

 

Elektra Fire <elektra.fire

 

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:34:40

 

Re: How to surrender?

 

 

Dear Robert,

 

Did you see my post " over come by anger " ? I just went through the same thing,

its all consuming in the moment and you seem unable to stop the loop playing

from the ego mind.

I totally understand.

 

Try not to be hard on yourself, we are only human with human flaws and

emotions.

We cannot be perfect in every moment, we can strive towards it and we will

reach it but along the way we will make mistakes, the important thing is that we

realise it. We understand it was a mistake! Thats the whole point. Just keep

eating healthy foods, drink water, get fresh air and excercise and pray and do

your best, we will all send out a little extra energy your way to help you along

if you but ask.

 

Lets let go together, hand in hand, heart with heart.

blessings

elektra x x x

 

[Guest guest]

I certainly missed the moonbeam last evening, and got side swapped by the 2-ton

truck. As well, I became the 2-ton truck. I certainly appreciate the heads-up.

My shoes are off, the jetpack is strapped to my back, a lasso is in one hand and

a moonbeam jar is in the other. I'm ready to catch that moment next time. In

appreciation.

 

-Danielle

 

, " Igor Alphus "

<Alphu-s wrote:

 

> We have a 2 second space to back right off and not blow.

> I have checked this out the space is there .....but gone in a flash if we miss

it...

But you gotta be quick to catch that moment.....kinda like a kid chasing

Moonbeams.

> Richard

[Guest guest]

Hahaha Danielle!

I'm sorry you missed the moonbeam as I do myself...but now I have both of your

stories to remind me! ha I hope these lines of yours come popping in for surely

I will start cracking the hell up and perhaps just catch that moonbeam! Lovin'

you jetpack and lasso!

I'm having quite the funny image of you my friend! ha

Thanks for lassoing the smile on my face girl! And Thanks Richard for the

catching the Moonbeam! I'll never look at a moonbeam the same! (:

Smiling at you guys,

Deb

 

, " iamwaitingmoon "

<iamwaitingmoon wrote:

>

> I certainly missed the moonbeam last evening, and got side swapped

[Guest guest]

Robert,

 

 

 

I know others will have their input on this issue but I thought that I would

toss mine into the circle as well. Lifting and paraphrasing from Reiki I

find that the Gainen or precepts can sometimes work wonders. I would

recommend that if you desire to try this you either incorporate it into your

prayer ritual twice daily or you adopt it as an affirmation that you repeat

three times twice a day while contemplating on the meaning behind the words.

 

 

 

Today, may I go without anger

 

Today, may I go without worry

 

May I do my work with appreciation

 

May I today be aware of my many blessings

 

Allow me to treat ALL with kindness

 

 

 

By repeating them twice daily they begin to become resident awareness. It

doesn't always work but it does help, for if I could go everyday in the

state of grace to be able to adhere to them 100%...

 

 

 

Peace be with you.

 

 

 

Brother Asa

 

 

 

 

On Behalf Of

robert_vergin

06/17/2009 10:56 AM

 

How to surrender?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello,

 

yesterday I got completely out of my balance. That showed me once more on

old problem: how can I surrender or let things go, when I need it most but

there is no conscious thought " Now would be a good time to surender " ? How

can I love, when I get flushed away by a flood of anger and frustration?

 

I hope I can make my question clear...

 

When I'm in a normal mood / in a normal emotional state, I can e.g. make a

conscious decision, if I take a walk to the beach or rather make some yoga

excercises. But when emotions get high, I get unconscious - it's like a film

that plays and I can't interfere. This only happens, when I'm overstrained.

When I get triggered by a special situation, the film plays...

 

A few words to what happened yesterday: I said something to my wife

(unfortunatley also in a quite aggressive way) that I shouldn't say.

Afterwards (I always calm down very quickly) I got angry about myself " How

can one, who lives a spriritual life and is meditating for years, say such

foolish things... "

My wife and I had some very exhausting months in the past and had and still

have often days, where we were/are completely overstrained.

 

I don't want to react no more in an manner that I don't like myself.

But as I said, a flood of emotions switches off the conscious mind.

 

At this occasion I want to repeat my declaration of my intent from the deep

bottom of my heart, that I truly want to give the guidance to my higher self

and to trust the divinity so I can live the peaceful and joyful life I want.

 

I would be glad, if you have some practical hints for me to always stay in

my balance. I experience such peaceful and joyful moments during meditation.

But I wonder what is it worth, when I forget all I learned, forget all the

peace inside my, forget my higher self and divinity, forget anything when

life really is challenging/provoking (?) me and I lose my conscious mind...

 

Yes, maybe my ego is still very strong. But I hope and belief that this

shaktipat can start the transformation.

 

thank you and blessing to all of you

 

robert

 

ps. @chrism: I like the 5 tibetans now ;-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Robert,

 

I too used to and sometimes still do have the same thing happening.

Some things, such boss screaming at you, you are reading news about wars

going

on in the world, or your significant other starts arguing with, makes you

automatically

set off like a running train. You go off like an explosion and you will show

that people

that you are right and tell them they are wrong.

 

Here are some things which I learned which work.

 

First off all the longer you are " going off " / " exploding " the longer it will

be for your to

go back to being mindfull again and realize that you didnt mean those things

you said/did.

 

You said you meditate, do you meditate on a point on your body (nose tip)

or something external (point on a wall)?

 

Here are my suggestions once you feel that anger coming on:

 

1) Automatically switch your awareness to your meditation point. If you use

the same

point all the time, it should be a sensitive spot for you, and that

should make it

easy to bring awareness to it fast.

 

2) Realize that the thing which " explodes " IS NOT YOU. Your emotions do not

set off your

mind, its your mind that starts your emotions.

Automatically and with intent ask your self " Who is telling me to do

this? "

 

For example, someone starts screaming at you and your ego says:

" Who does this guy think he is treating me like this. I think I should

teach him a lesson "

 

You would right away ask yourself with intent:

" Who is telling me to teach this guys a lesson? "

 

Usually, at least in my case, you will hear silence and no one will

answer. So after you

practice this for some time, you will see that the ego is like an echo

chamber. you hear something, but really no one is there. (Btw this also

works in yoga/meditation practices).

 

3) Take a deep breath through you nose. If you meditate on your nose tip,

the air brushing against

the nose rim as you take deep breaths will help you even more to

sustain your awareness on it, while

your ego goes crazy.

 

These things will, hopefully, not make you hit your explosive peak and

after a little while your anger will be smaller. Afterwards you can try to

reason the situation out, but if you feel you are losing control to the

angry EGO, go back and do the same exercises.

 

 

Let me know how it goes for you

 

Much love,

Mike

 

 

On Wed, Jun 17, 2009 at 10:56 AM, robert_vergin <robert.verginwrote:

 

>

>

> Hello,

>

> yesterday I got completely out of my balance. That showed me once more on

> old problem: how can I surrender or let things go, when I need it most but

> there is no conscious thought " Now would be a good time to surender " ? How

> can I love, when I get flushed away by a flood of anger and frustration?

>

> I hope I can make my question clear...

>

> When I'm in a normal mood / in a normal emotional state, I can e.g. make a

> conscious decision, if I take a walk to the beach or rather make some yoga

> excercises. But when emotions get high, I get unconscious - it's like a film

> that plays and I can't interfere. This only happens, when I'm overstrained.

> When I get triggered by a special situation, the film plays...

>

> A few words to what happened yesterday: I said something to my wife

> (unfortunatley also in a quite aggressive way) that I shouldn't say.

> Afterwards (I always calm down very quickly) I got angry about myself " How

> can one, who lives a spriritual life and is meditating for years, say such

> foolish things... "

> My wife and I had some very exhausting months in the past and had and still

> have often days, where we were/are completely overstrained.

>

> I don't want to react no more in an manner that I don't like myself.

> But as I said, a flood of emotions switches off the conscious mind.

>

> At this occasion I want to repeat my declaration of my intent from the deep

> bottom of my heart, that I truly want to give the guidance to my higher self

> and to trust the divinity so I can live the peaceful and joyful life I want.

>

> I would be glad, if you have some practical hints for me to always stay in

> my balance. I experience such peaceful and joyful moments during meditation.

> But I wonder what is it worth, when I forget all I learned, forget all the

> peace inside my, forget my higher self and divinity, forget anything when

> life really is challenging/provoking (?) me and I lose my conscious mind...

>

> Yes, maybe my ego is still very strong. But I hope and belief that this

> shaktipat can start the transformation.

>

> thank you and blessing to all of you

>

> robert

>

> ps. @chrism: I like the 5 tibetans now ;-)

>

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear elektra,

 

> Did you see my post " over come by anger " ?

 

Yes and I was happy, that you shared this.

 

> We understand it was a mistake! Thats the whole point.

> Just keep eating healthy foods, drink water, get fresh air

> and excercise and pray and do your best, we will all send

> out a little extra energy your way to help you along if you but ask.

 

Thank you once again, I enjoyed your post.

 

Blessings, Robert

[Guest guest]

Dear Julie,

 

> I do not hear you blaming your wife ....you are taking

> responsibiity for your own behaviour so Robert give thanks

> that you are in that loving place. that your intent is honest

> and all will be well. 

 

No, observing our situation impartially there is nothing to blame my wife for.

There are reasons why she behaves like she behaves and accordingly that applies

for me too. Conditionings from the childhood, incidents in the past ...

And she suffers from our situation more than I do.

 

> That said... I did smile when I read " it is like a film

> that plays and I can't interfere " I can relate to that,

> as can most people that are in a long term relationshoip.

> For me it is like and " old tape "   There is a term called

> Parataxic distortion.... it describes when we react in the

> present but we are in fact reacting to " an old tape " from

> the past... so reaction in present to past situation, but

> we are not aware consciously of that at the time!!

> Parataxic distortion is usually why we over react

> to something small..  When I learned about this and

> I found myself over reacting to something I would say

> " parataxic distortion "   My partner also learned about

> this and it helped us to stop when the old tape played

> and not to be disrespectful to each other.  ( the old

> tape still slips past us sometimes but hey...we are not

> perfect or anything near it)

 

Oh great. I never heard this term before, but YES, YES, YES - that's exactly

what I wanted to describe. (Btw: I observe this group helps me to improve my

english ;-) )

 

That is the problem: we are not aware consciously, that we encounter a trigger,

that stands for a past situation. There is a reason, that chrism made

recapitulation a part of the safeties... ;-)

 

> I often think about gurus and hermits and saints and most,

> if not all of them, lived  lives with out partners....

> I think it is much much much easier to live the realised and

> conscious life when you do it alone! So be gentle with your self.

 

:-)

Yes, I think that too. Now I see my marriage is a much bigger challenge than I

ever thought.

 

> For me communication is key Robert and you asked if anyone

> had practical things to suggest... I would suggest and you

> may be doing this all ready.. talking to your partner about it..

 

Yes of course - we do this. We know the wounds of each other very good. But

nevertheless, as I wrote ealier, it's so hard for me to allow her to be like she

is, with ALL aspects...

So now I always try to turn the focus to my inner world and ask myself: Why do I

reject her weakness. And than I see my own childhood, my own weakness and so on

and so on...

 

I know, healing this wounds can take a long time. Unfortunately I'm an impatient

guy.

 

Blessings, Robert

[Guest guest]

Dear Brother Asa,

 

thank you too.

 

Yes, affirmations are a good thing. I make some similiar affirmations every

morning (combined with visualization) for some months now (but not twice a day

yet). Now I observe a very slightly, subtle (positive) change of my thinking.

 

In the beginning I only repeated some affirmations with no effect. I decided to

quit doing affirmations. But then I realized a very, very gentle inner voice,

that told me, that the meaning of the affirmation ist not true. Or better to

say: true for my conscious mind but not true for my subconsciousness. It simply

rejected the message and that in turn led me to something to recapitulate about

and to care about in daily activity and speech. Then the old negative belief can

shift.

 

Blessings, Robert

 

ps: I have to get away from my computer now (family is calling ;-) ) and I want

to wish all of you a joyful shaktipat experience tomorrow.

 

> I would recommend that if you desire to try this you either

> incorporate it into your prayer ritual twice daily or you adopt

> it as an affirmation that you repeat three times twice a day while

> contemplating on the meaning behind the words.