Beautiful Birthday- love with no opposite-?

[Guest guest]

First, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday Bruce and I am glad you are having a

beautiful day. I wish I knew what that was like to have such a wonderful

birthday as you are having. No one ever remembers mine for some reason. Except

for John, here on the group. His b-day is the same as mine.

 

 

I have a question, because what you are saying is my biggest struggle ever and

forever. How to become love without an opposite?... is it by excepting everyone

with unconditional love and respect just as they are even though it seems every

person wants to change you into a cookie cutter image of themselves? I just cry

and cry and want to go hide under a rock and hate myself for not even wanting to

change. I either push the people away or and become the opposite of what they

seem to be forcing me to become. I have never totally felt excepted just as I am

by any group of people or person I have ever join with, even my own family. I

just cannot seem to conform. What is wrong with me? Why am I like that? When I

try to force myself to be more like " them " or what " they " want me to be, I end

up with a sick feeling in my solar plexus/stomach area. I grew up with a dad who

pounded it into my head every day how worthless I am, so it has been hard to

even see myself as a person of value. I have tried hard to be, but there are

just too many complicated rules to follow and they all get jumbled in my head,

and not enough hours in a day for them all.... *sigh* I think chrism has been

the only person in the world who has helped me to stick my head out from under

the rock for any lentgh of time, but it doesn't take much for me to want to go

back under. I find it very, very hard to be a cameleon and blend in, so I just

mostly stay under the rock.

 

Writing this post is sticking my head out from under the rock. Pushing myself

yesterday to do things out of the norm for me and writing this post has caused

me to have a huge ache in my heart area instead of being sick to my stomach, so

maybe that is an improvement... or " signs of stress? " ... *sighs*

Funny! after I wrote that last part the ache in my heart area just suddenly

left. How weird it that!

 

Linda

 

, " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom wrote:

>

what would it mean to receive unconditional love and respect just as I am.

>

> love without an opposite is increasingly who I am,

 

> love and light

> Bruce

>

[Guest guest]

Your worth is beyond diamonds, beyond gold, beyond any precious stone........You

are a child of God, perfect as you were created........You know God; for God is

love..........and you demonstrate God everyday..........Namaste, sweet

sister...........I bow to you; I bow to the light in you.............

 

Blessings to you on this shaktipat pre-eve.........What are these sounds at

night?  I would get up to investigate; but I lay there knowing that it is what

it is.............doors slamming, pops, and

creaks.............Hallelujah..........

 

I SMILE..........I love you............

 

Julie

 

--- On Thu, 6/18/09, Linda <crazycats711 wrote:

 

Linda <crazycats711

Re: Beautiful Birthday- love with no

opposite-?

 

Thursday, June 18, 2009, 5:49 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday Bruce and I am glad you are

having a beautiful day. I wish I knew what that was like to have such a

wonderful birthday as you are having. No one ever remembers mine for some

reason. Except for John, here on the group. His b-day is the same as mine.

 

 

 

I have a question, because what you are saying is my biggest struggle ever and

forever. How to become love without an opposite?... is it by excepting everyone

with unconditional love and respect just as they are even though it seems every

person wants to change you into a cookie cutter image of themselves? I just cry

and cry and want to go hide under a rock and hate myself for not even wanting to

change. I either push the people away or and become the opposite of what they

seem to be forcing me to become. I have never totally felt excepted just as I am

by any group of people or person I have ever join with, even my own family. I

just cannot seem to conform. What is wrong with me? Why am I like that? When I

try to force myself to be more like " them " or what " they " want me to be, I end

up with a sick feeling in my solar plexus/stomach area. I grew up with a dad who

pounded it into my head every day how worthless I am, so it has been hard to

even see myself

as a person of value. I have tried hard to be, but there are just too many

complicated rules to follow and they all get jumbled in my head, and not enough

hours in a day for them all.... *sigh* I think chrism has been the only person

in the world who has helped me to stick my head out from under the rock for any

lentgh of time, but it doesn't take much for me to want to go back under. I find

it very, very hard to be a cameleon and blend in, so I just mostly stay under

the rock.

 

 

 

Writing this post is sticking my head out from under the rock. Pushing myself

yesterday to do things out of the norm for me and writing this post has caused

me to have a huge ache in my heart area instead of being sick to my stomach, so

maybe that is an improvement. .. or " signs of stress? " ... *sighs*

 

Funny! after I wrote that last part the ache in my heart area just suddenly

left. How weird it that!

 

 

 

Linda

 

 

 

Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " bruce_oom "

<bruce_oom@. ..> wrote:

 

>

 

what would it mean to receive unconditional love and respect just as I am.

 

>

 

> love without an opposite is increasingly who I am,

 

 

 

> love and light

 

> Bruce

 

>