Guest guest Posted June 24, 2009 Report Share Posted June 24, 2009 hey guys, I had a striking yet so obvious revelation the 2nd day of shakitpat. I have been in what seemed like a downward spiral again, it's been happening a lot since my k activated around a year ago. For so long I've been wondering why it seems my ego continues to grow instead of feeling more alive and awake. I remembered that shortly after my K activated and having pretty powerful spiritual experiences that this voice, so different from the normal chatter, powerful and straight to the point, told me that I have to suffer more. And here I am thinking that I'm almost past this whole karma thing, what's so hard about karma anyway, haha. But anyways this revelation really hit me after much anger and anxiety on the first day of shaktipat, it's actually been hitting me repeatedly for this past year but sometimes it takes a brick to get through my thick skull here it is, here is the cliffnotes of my first year with K My suffering- Oh, I've got to find a way out of this suffering I've got to find the path I can't see the Way. Maybe it's in this book, or over there Or maybe it's just around that corner. Why does the Way elude me? Why does it feel like I'm heading toward my demise? Why does my ego grow stronger? Why do I feel so lost? I'm not searching hard enough Maybe I'm not grasping tight enough... Surrender- Ah!!!! I can't take it anymore! I surrender It's too much, it's too heavy, I let go, I release And the strangest thing happened.... I'm back home, I'm at peace, I've reclaimed my power I'm back on the path. I can see now, the Way's been here the whole time, waiting. I can feel Her, I can feel Shakti's love The worry's over Because the Way's right here, patient, closer than this next breath Still but ever changing And I can see it when I let go, when I surrender I surrender to the suchness of this moment I surrender to Shakti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 Hey Craig, I also had some challenges the last few days.. got through them, but they were really small compared to before.. I am about 4 years into this K journey.. and I understand the feeling of being connected to the path and then losing it.. I am mostly ok now.. yet if you are going through that, just keep trusting that its part of the transformation.. i had to experience the full truth of the ego before it could be transcended... not always fun... so a sense of humor is helpful when it gets most dark... and the end of suffering is when you end the inner recoil from your experience and turn and look at it and go in deeper... love and blessings Bruce , " kundaflame " <kundaflame wrote: > > hey guys, I had a striking yet so obvious revelation the 2nd day of shakitpat. I have been in what seemed like a downward spiral again, it's been happening a lot since my k activated around a year ago. For so long I've been wondering why it seems my ego continues to grow instead of feeling more alive and awake. I remembered that shortly after my K activated and having pretty powerful spiritual experiences that this voice, so different from the normal chatter, powerful and straight to the point, told me that I have to suffer more. And here I am thinking that I'm almost past this whole karma thing, what's so hard about karma anyway, haha. But anyways this revelation really hit me after much anger and anxiety on the first day of shaktipat, it's actually been hitting me repeatedly for this past year but sometimes it takes a brick to get through my thick skull here it is, here is the cliffnotes of my first year with K > > My suffering- > Oh, I've got to find a way out of this suffering > I've got to find the path > I can't see the Way. > Maybe it's in this book, or over there > Or maybe it's just around that corner. > Why does the Way elude me? > Why does it feel like I'm heading toward my demise? > Why does my ego grow stronger? > Why do I feel so lost? > I'm not searching hard enough > Maybe I'm not grasping tight enough... > Surrender- > Ah!!!! I can't take it anymore! I surrender > It's too much, it's too heavy, I let go, I release > And the strangest thing happened.... > I'm back home, I'm at peace, I've reclaimed my power > I'm back on the path. > I can see now, the Way's been here the whole time, waiting. > I can feel Her, I can feel Shakti's love > The worry's over > Because the Way's right here, patient, > closer than this next breath > Still but ever changing > And I can see it when I let go, when I surrender > I surrender to the suchness of this moment > I surrender to Shakti > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Hi Craig, Wow I love what you wrote! Not that you suffered mind you (: just that I wonder how many here have felt exactly that! It seems such an easy thing to do this staying in the present just surrendering...but I guess our ego thinks otherwise! ha Down Ego Down! Oh no thats resistance - No I'm doing it wrong - Why can't I just shut up and be still - whats wrong with me its so easy - and on and on those thoughts flow...and then I get to the forest and its so peaceful and somehow all those thoughts just get lifted and it seems so easy - funny thing this ego likes to have the front seat - ha But thank you for your poetic words - Hear that ego...you're quite safe in the backseat! (: Deb , " kundaflame " <kundaflame wrote: > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.