Guest guest Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Back a week and a half ago when we were all discussing anger (seems like months, now), here's what happened. Around Wednesday or Thursday, I wrote an email to someone that was not rude, but in my haste, I felt it was somewhat abrupt, and upon rereading it, I felt it gave the wrong impression, as if I were angry, which I was not. So I sent a clarification/apology email. Then all weekend I fretted, since I did not hear back. Even though I knew the email recipient had in the past taken some time before replying to my emails, I assumed he was angry at me for the first email and that this was why I had not heard back. Then, since I had sent such a nice amelioration email, I started getting angry " in return " . By Friday I decided this was no way to exist, so I figured I'd better start sending love and forigveness his way. Despite trying to sendforgiveness pretty much continually, this failed to work. I was still fuming. By Saturday, I " decided " to try another approach. So I started to forgive myself for the first email. Lo and behold my anger dissipated instantly. So it turned out I needed to forgive myself for a perceived trangression. To add to the humor of the situation, by the time I spoke to him on Monday, it turns out he had been very busy and had not had time to read either of my emails! So it was all a moot point - a dream I dreamed in my own imagination, blaming myself for a perceived transgression, imagining another was angry at me when I was only angry at myself, etc., etc. A lesson for me. Love and blessings, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 I do that a lot, but with me it's more like I feel like I an a big disappointment and other people here must think that I am really bad ignorant. I worry all the time how I word things and when I read back over some of the stuff I write, I worry about what everyone one must think and if anyone took it wrong. I would just rather stick a needle in my eye than to hurt someone's feelings or make them angry at me! Sometimes I get really paranoid about it all and don't write anything for a few days until I can get over calling myself names and beating myself up. Linda , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb wrote: > So it was all a moot point - a dream I dreamed in > my own imagination, blaming myself for a perceived transgression, > imagining another was angry at me when I was only angry at myself, etc., > etc. > > > > A lesson for me. > > > > Love and blessings, > > > > David > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 David, Angel, thanks again, you and Debs were so on time with your mails, both of you were hitting the nail on the head concerning an issue in my mind, a replaying anger and unforgiveness I was trying to rid myself of. Thank you , really, you just explained something I went through myself last week....BRILLIANT! I love this group. Hugs elektra x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Hi david, yep..thats a great example and thanks for sharing it.. this is one of my ongoing practices... (not always the convincing the anger) but rather realizing that the emotionally bound stories in my head are just my stories, and not always real... haha.. and my life is much more free when i stop falling for the neurotic ego.. lol I had one this morning... I was going into one of my stories, which is me feeling lonely and isolated and feeling things are futile (one of my child tapes).. I saw my story and felt the (compelling) feeling and named it, and reminded myself that this was not necessarily real... (even though the emotional feeling was convincing) then I went into the pain, and realized the pain was in my heart/chest area and was a supressed desire for love and connection and to be part of something higher..breathed into it...so I surrendered that to God and started repeating my prayer 'I consent to the presence of God'. I realized my seeking was fundamentally a search for union with God and thats where I would focus, and I was thankful that I am increasingly blessed with that sense of union I felt almost immediatly better. Then a little miracle happened a few seconds later. As I crossed the road I had to walk through a constrcution area on the way to work, and its a narrow corridor with space for only one or two people side-to-side. A granny was carrying a 3 year old child and she put him down and they walked slowly in front of me, blocking my way. At first I was a little frustrated, wanting to go quicker. Then I thought 'I have been in the child part of my personality this morning', feeling alone and unsupported, and here in front of me is a tiny vulnerable child, being put down to walk by himself, yet led and kept safe by his strong granny. Thats how I felt; I felt a vulnerable weak child of God being supported by Shakti and guided and held as I walk this journey on this earth, and I am deeply, fundamentally supported.... I felt great the rest of the day... love and blessings Bruce , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb wrote: > > > Back a week and a half ago when we were all discussing anger (seems like > months, now), here's what happened. > > > > Around Wednesday or Thursday, I wrote an email to someone that was not > rude, but in my haste, I felt it was somewhat abrupt, and upon rereading > it, I felt it gave the wrong impression, as if I were angry, which I was > not. So I sent a clarification/apology email. Then all weekend I > fretted, since I did not hear back. Even though I knew the email > recipient had in the past taken some time before replying to my emails, > I assumed he was angry at me for the first email and that this was why I > had not heard back. Then, since I had sent such a nice amelioration > email, I started getting angry " in return " . > > > > By Friday I decided this was no way to exist, so I figured I'd > better start sending love and forigveness his way. Despite trying to > sendforgiveness pretty much continually, this failed to work. I was > still fuming. > > > > By Saturday, I " decided " to try another approach. So I started > to forgive myself for the first email. Lo and behold my anger > dissipated instantly. > > > > So it turned out I needed to forgive myself for a perceived > trangression. > > > > To add to the humor of the situation, by the time I spoke to him on > Monday, it turns out he had been very busy and had not had time to read > either of my emails! So it was all a moot point - a dream I dreamed in > my own imagination, blaming myself for a perceived transgression, > imagining another was angry at me when I was only angry at myself, etc., > etc. > > > > A lesson for me. > > > > Love and blessings, > > > > David > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 These are great examples, Bruce and David! thank you for sharing! Namaste, Maggie journey on this earth, and I am deeply, fundamentally supported.... > > I felt great the rest of the day... > > love and blessings > Bruce > > , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb@> wrote: > > A lesson for me. > > > > > > > > Love and blessings, > > > > > > > > David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 I thanks you both David and Bruce for your examples. Bruce, after reading your post, I went and meditated and did what you so well explained, but with my old childhood pattern of feeling less than others. It worked with me! After finishing a big rush of love enveloped me. I am going to continue doing that every time that old pattern comes up and do it until it desolves to nothing. Thank you! Blessings, linda , " bruce_oom " <bruce_oom wrote: > > Hi david, > > yep..thats a great example and thanks for sharing it.. this is one of my ongoing practices... (not always the convincing the anger) but rather realizing that the emotionally bound stories in my head are just my stories, and not always real... haha.. and my life is much more free when i stop falling for the neurotic ego.. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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