Guest guest Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Hi to all , I have been on this great list for maybe a month now, and thought i'd like to share with you an experience I had the other day that has set me thinking. In meditation I was sitting in blissful nothingness (as you do, lol) when a voice asked me , do I want to come out of my body now? (Who's voice I have no idea!) As I was in a great mood I agreed. Out I came at a rocketing speed. I was shown the light of heaven and the darkness of the void, I felt I had been presented with a choice to make. Heaven (this is my own take as I saw it that day, so please no-one be offended ) was an illusion, and I found that shocking. Then the other choice, the void, the unmanifest . I thought , ok, the choice is easy, I'll go with the my sourse of bliss, I've alway felt warm and protected here, so the choice felt natural. This is where it gets difficult. As I understood it, this time would be different, this time i'd be split to energy forever. I'd get the lifelong freedom I always desired.True it was freedom ,but not quite the freedom that my poor little ego was expecting.Realisation struck me that " i " would never " know " god.The trap of Bliss is the best my " i " can get, unless I can surrender to permanent dissolution.That's really not an easy one. Then In horror at this , I let out a huge no, It seemed to cause a contraction that dumped be back in my body. So ,for now I'm grounded, and my need for freedom has by itself fallen away without effort. I wonder about the smaller ego parts that left me before this , I guess they must have been zapped to photons. Is the ego all I am? love purple firefly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 dear purple great to have you with the group. . .what a powerful thought provoking mediation experience. . .i too am going to contemplate this one. . . just to day i came across a posting from another spiritual aspirant . . ..and there was this exchange that reminds me a bit of what you might be expressing here, am going to go back and re-read them, for i take it as a sign that K Ma is wanting me to put the two together for contemplation and my own understanding. . . i will share these two posts and they may not seem complimentary to you, but Ma is telling me there is a similar thread. . .and at first glance i think it might be about non-duality and rather than either or it might be and both? One thing i know for sure. . .ego is not who you are. . you are beautiful, you are a divine child of God/dess and your are Love. . .and you are in process. . love ordinary sparrow What if your contribution to the world and the fulfillment of your own happiness is not dependent on discovering a better method of prayer of teaching meditation, not dependent on reading the right book or attending the right seminar, but upon really seeing and deeply appreciating yourself and the world as they are right now? How would this affect your search for spiritual development? What if there is no need to change, no need to try to transform yourself into someone who is more compassionate, more present, more loving or wise? How would this effect all the places in your life where you are endlessly trying to be better? What is the task is simply to unfold, to become who you already are in your essential nature---gentle, compassionate, and capable of living fully and passionately in the present? How would this affect how you feel when you wake up in the morning? What if who you essentially are right now is all that you are ever going to be? How would this effect how you feel about your future? What if the essence of who you are and always have been is enough? How would this change how you see and feel about your past? What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I am? How would this change what you think you have to learn? What if becoming who and what we truly are happens not through striving and trying but by recognizing and receiving the people and places and practices that offer us the warmth of encouragement we need to unfold? How would this shape the choices you make about how to spend today? What is you knew that the impulse to move in a way that creates beauty in the world would arise from deep within and guide you every time you simply pay attention and wait? How would this shape your stillness, your movement, your willingness to follow this impulse, to just let go and dance? ~~~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer WomanPrayers: Prayers by Women from Throughout History and Around the world. Page 8-9, (Finding Myself), Mary Ford-Grabowsky, Harper San Francisco The above was posted by a spiritual devotee and the below was a response by another spiritual devotee. . . RESPONSE: Your beautiful phrasing presenting an argument for acceptance is appreciated but... I am reminded of the serenity prayer associated with the Alanon and AA grassroots spiritual growth organizations.... to paraphrase it.... To be able to see where acceptance is The Path and where Struggle, Effort and Striving is the Only Way to Go. and to be able to have the wisdom to tell the difference. My experience is that sometimes I have to put out a lot of effort to correct my mistakes, other times I need to just simply accept situations or myself. And the two are a dynamic in which no one else and I mean no one else not even my teacher can tell me the difference between the two, how they may interact in certain circumstances, when it is clearly one or clearly the other. And peace, real peace comes from living this until understanding comes... and it seems to take a long long time and yes one seems to arrive at both acceptance and change and hence becomes a spiritual adult. Then one who has been practicing to be an adult takes this principal in to the workplace or the world, their marriage or raising their children, wherever is their station in life. To me this the great dilemma that every generation either comes to understand or to some degree fails as and then... finding peace through some form of bliss is the only answer for those that have given up the only real struggle that can bring one to a real peace that is both an acceptance of who the self really is, but also a letting go into who the real self is becoming. For myself I have been on both sides of this argument of total acceptance of self and total surrender to life's lessons and have for myself discovered the answer is BOTH! One is peace and one is pain and I prefer the painful part for then if I peacefully accept that I am both as I am and as I am becoming then maybe the becoming can become. Anything other is to say that the real self is static, perfect and not evolving and hence the great experiment of earth was for nought. I do find myself in total agreement with you about the 'next book, next workshop and even the next hug... when I was 25 I decided that I would simply: 1. stay home 2. do my practices 3. try to serve when I felt called 4. attempt to correct my mistakes that never meant I was bad but simply growing The problem to my mind is about having the peace of acceptance to the degree that I do not have to go into frenzy of looking about for the next person or thing to save me or make me feel better. Thanks and Peace , " purple_firefly111 " <purple_firefly111 wrote: > > > Hi to all , I have been on this great list for maybe a month now, and > thought i'd like to share with you an experience I had the other day > that has set me thinking. > > In meditation I was sitting in blissful nothingness (as you do, lol) > when a voice asked me , do I want to come out of my body now? (Who's > voice I have no idea!) As I was in a great mood I agreed. Out I came at > a rocketing speed. I was shown the light of heaven and the darkness > of the void, I felt I had been presented with a choice to make. Heaven > (this is my own take as I saw it that day, so please no-one be offended > ) was an illusion, and I found that shocking. > > Then the other choice, the void, the unmanifest . I thought , ok, the > choice is easy, I'll go with the my sourse of bliss, I've alway felt > warm and protected here, so the choice felt natural. This is where it > gets difficult. > > As I understood it, this time would be different, this time i'd be > split to energy forever. I'd get the lifelong freedom I always > desired.True it was freedom ,but not quite the freedom that my poor > little ego was expecting.Realisation struck me that " i " would never > " know " god.The trap of Bliss is the best my " i " can get, unless I can > surrender to permanent dissolution.That's really not an easy one. Then > In horror at this , I let out a huge no, It seemed to cause a > contraction that dumped be back in my body. > > So ,for now I'm grounded, and my need for freedom has by itself fallen > away without effort. I wonder about the smaller ego parts that left me > before this , I guess they must have been zapped to photons. > > Is the ego all I am? > > love purple firefly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Dear Purple, I really doubt the ego is ALL you are, I imagine you are as we all are, infinite beings made of light and dark. So, you weren't ready to fly off yet , thats fine, we are all here to experience as we wish to experience. No hurry. I wouldn't judge the experience, just think about what lessons could have been gained from that? What was it all about for you personally. Had you been asking for this? Were you ready? We often think we are ready but we are not when the time comes as we still have things to do here and now. Many blessings elektra x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 Thank-you ordinary sparrow and kali ma ,these are wonderful, My feelings are as expressed in them. There is definitely a dropping of baggage, labels , everything I considered the pride of " me " . Knowledge I had and lost ,now seems like used shopping lists and about as useful, lol.I can best describe it cheesily as learning to swim for the first time. That point when you just totally relax and stop trying ,then finding that ,great i can float then swim. acceptance and surrender has been so difficult, (and still is) I became aloof and withdrawn from the world ,as I faced my shadow but after finding just letting everything go , it feels wonderful. alive in every moment , no need to look to the future for happiness to come , it's here now and no need to look to the past for safety, here and now is safe. Even the notion of how we think of god , has to be surrendered,as what we consider God can only be our own creation/mind projection and not what god is actually, as God is beyond the possibilities of our limited minds. This is where i am now. Religion (my own take , I intend no offence ) is an egoic divide, that falls away by itself naturally without effort and what is left is when you look into another humans eyes and see your own reflection in them staring back into infinity. Thanks for appearing in my consciousness ,at just the right moment ordinary sparrow, love purple , " ordinarysparrow " <ordinarysparrow wrote: > > dear purple > > great to have you with the group. . .what a powerful thought provoking > mediation experience. . .i too am going to contemplate this one. . . > > just to day i came across a posting from another spiritual aspirant . . > .and there was this exchange that reminds me a bit of what you might be > expressing here, am going to go back and re-read them, for i take it as > a sign that K Ma is wanting me to put the two together for contemplation > and my own understanding. . . > > i will share these two posts and they may not seem complimentary to you, > but Ma is telling me there is a similar thread. . .and at first glance i > think it might be about non-duality and rather than either or it might > be and both? > > One thing i know for sure. . .ego is not who you are. . you are > beautiful, you are a divine child of God/dess and your are Love. . .and > you are in process. . > > love > ordinary sparrow > > What if your contribution to the world and the fulfillment of your own > happiness is not dependent on discovering a better method of prayer of > teaching meditation, not dependent on reading the right book or > attending the right seminar, but upon really seeing and deeply > appreciating yourself and the world as they are right now? > > How would this affect your search for spiritual development? > > What if there is no need to change, no need to try to transform yourself > into someone who is more compassionate, more present, more loving or > wise? > > How would this effect all the places in your life where you are > endlessly trying to be better? > > What is the task is simply to unfold, to become who you already are in > your essential nature---gentle, compassionate, and capable of living > fully and passionately in the present? > > How would this affect how you feel when you wake up in the morning? > > What if who you essentially are right now is all that you are ever going > to be? > > How would this effect how you feel about your future? > > What if the essence of who you are and always have been is enough? > > How would this change how you see and feel about your past? > > What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really > want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I am? > > How would this change what you think you have to learn? > > What if becoming who and what we truly are happens not through striving > and trying but by recognizing and receiving the people and places and > practices that offer us the warmth of encouragement we need to unfold? > > How would this shape the choices you make about how to spend today? > > What is you knew that the impulse to move in a way that creates beauty > in the world would arise from deep within and guide you every time you > simply pay attention and wait? > > How would this shape your stillness, your movement, your willingness to > follow this impulse, to just let go and dance? > > ~~~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer > WomanPrayers: Prayers by Women from Throughout History and Around the > world. > Page 8-9, (Finding Myself), Mary Ford-Grabowsky, Harper San Francisco > > The above was posted by a spiritual devotee and the > > below was a response by another spiritual devotee. . . > > > > RESPONSE: > > Your beautiful phrasing presenting an argument for acceptance is > appreciated but... > > I am reminded of the serenity prayer associated with the Alanon and AA > grassroots spiritual growth organizations.... > > to paraphrase it.... > > To be able to see where acceptance is The Path and where Struggle, > Effort and Striving is the Only Way to Go. > and to be able to have the wisdom to tell the difference. > > My experience is that sometimes I have to put out a lot of effort to > correct my mistakes, other times I need to just simply accept situations > or myself. And the two are a dynamic in which no one else and I mean no > one else not even my teacher can tell me the difference between the two, > how they may interact in certain circumstances, when it is clearly one > or clearly the other. > > And peace, real peace comes from living this until understanding > comes... and it seems to take a long long time and yes one seems to > arrive at both acceptance and change and hence becomes a spiritual > adult. > > Then one who has been practicing to be an adult takes this principal in > to the workplace or the world, their marriage or raising their children, > wherever is their station in life. > > To me this the great dilemma that every generation either comes to > understand or to some degree fails as and then... > > finding peace through some form of bliss is the only answer for those > that have given up the only real struggle that can bring one to a real > peace that is both an acceptance of who the self really is, but also a > letting go into who the real self is becoming. > > For myself I have been on both sides of this argument of total > acceptance of self and total surrender to life's lessons and have for > myself discovered the answer is BOTH! One is peace and one is pain and I > prefer the painful part for then if I peacefully accept that I am both > as I am and as I am becoming then maybe the becoming can become. > > Anything other is to say that the real self is static, perfect and not > evolving and hence the great experiment of earth was for nought. > > I do find myself in total agreement with you about the 'next book, next > workshop and even the next hug... when I was 25 I decided that I would > simply: > 1. stay home > 2. do my practices > 3. try to serve when I felt called > 4. attempt to correct my mistakes that never meant I was bad but simply > growing > > The problem to my mind is about having the peace of acceptance to the > degree that I do not have to go into frenzy of looking about for the > next person or thing to save me or make me feel better. > > Thanks and Peace > > , > " purple_firefly111 " <purple_firefly111@> wrote: > > > > > > Hi to all , I have been on this great list for maybe a month now, and > > thought i'd like to share with you an experience I had the other day > > that has set me thinking. > > > > In meditation I was sitting in blissful nothingness (as you do, lol) > > when a voice asked me , do I want to come out of my body now? (Who's > > voice I have no idea!) As I was in a great mood I agreed. Out I came > at > > a rocketing speed. I was shown the light of heaven and the > darkness > > of the void, I felt I had been presented with a choice to make. > Heaven > > (this is my own take as I saw it that day, so please no-one be > offended > > ) was an illusion, and I found that shocking. > > > > Then the other choice, the void, the unmanifest . I thought , ok, the > > choice is easy, I'll go with the my sourse of bliss, I've alway felt > > warm and protected here, so the choice felt natural. This is where it > > gets difficult. > > > > As I understood it, this time would be different, this time i'd be > > split to energy forever. I'd get the lifelong freedom I always > > desired.True it was freedom ,but not quite the freedom that my poor > > little ego was expecting.Realisation struck me that " i " would never > > " know " god.The trap of Bliss is the best my " i " can get, unless I can > > surrender to permanent dissolution.That's really not an easy one. Then > > In horror at this , I let out a huge no, It seemed to cause a > > contraction that dumped be back in my body. > > > > So ,for now I'm grounded, and my need for freedom has by itself fallen > > away without effort. I wonder about the smaller ego parts that left me > > before this , I guess they must have been zapped to photons. > > > > Is the ego all I am? > > > > love purple firefly > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 So true Elektra , I guess I really just love mothership earth way too much to leave her just yet I'll try that meditation again , when im old , way way old lol! much love purple , Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > > Dear Purple, > > I really doubt the ego is ALL you are, I imagine you are as we all are, infinite beings made of light and dark. > So, you weren't ready to fly off yet , thats fine, we are all here to experience as we wish to experience. No hurry. > > I wouldn't judge the experience, just think about what lessons could have been gained from that? What was it all about for you personally. Had you been asking for this? Were you ready? We often think we are ready but we are not when the time comes as we still have things to do here and now. > > Many blessings > elektra x x x > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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