Guest guest Posted July 11, 2009 Report Share Posted July 11, 2009 hey all, i'll be trying to catch up on posts after this next wednesday, already a week behind... I had my first EMT class this past wednesday and have so much to learn for the first week. My anxiety level has increased alot, especially since I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and just surrendering to the energy in motion and trying to stay present as much as possible. My K has become really amplified and I was caught off guard at class and became really anxious giving my intro and have been really practicing forgiveness for myself, mainly so I don't feel awkward for the rest of the semester. My energetics really feel haywire right now but trusting the process. Trying to learn all the terminology (I have no background in hospital stuff) and just taking it a day at a time. But in all, my continual surrender is keeping me going. I've also decided to listen more and more to the silence that pervades everywhere, I can even hear it underneath the noise though my mind doesn't know how it's possible besides the fact the sounds feel like narrow wavelengths in the fast emptiness and silence. But the downside to this is it increases the pressure in my head and causes a lot of pain, but this is something I feel like I have to break through to get to the otherside. Well, won't be able to post much for the rest of the week until wednseday, don't think at least, but my heart's with yall, and i'll try to catch up soon. craig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2009 Report Share Posted July 11, 2009 Hi Craig, Good Luck to you with the terminology - I noticed since the k started I can learn things I couldn't get through before...such as math! haha I do not like getting up in front of the class...I mean I could say the same thing in my chair you know like I'm just talking to everyone and they are talking with me and I'm fine, but put me in front of the class and I feel like fainting. You know how they say to imagine them all wearing nothing but their underwear...well that was sorta helping but what helped more was I told them.. " I'm seeing all of you in your underwear...looking good " or something and then I lightened up a bit. But honestly would rather shovel manure...not that I come across manure that often...but still would rather! (: Does putting your bare feet in the earth help your head at all? Well good luck with everything and hope things go so smoothly for you!!! Deb , " kundaflame " <kundaflame wrote: > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2009 Report Share Posted July 11, 2009 it is hard to start new things and be out of a comfort zone craig... take one day at a time and ask Shakti for guidance and what ever help you need - just be yourself - you are a wonderful fella and very likable - listen to the others and you will learn from them - know that you have your group here to offer support energy wise always- so even though you may not be posting you will be here and i for one will be sending you lot of good thoughts and prayers that you can open your mind to new learnings and embrace all the necessary terminology and knowing needed to follow this path if it is what you truly want. keep up the practice - it will help you stay calm and relaxed - i have confidence in you that you will excel in all you do - blessings dear craig - a new adventure - a new path - a new service for others - a well needed service - you have a wonderful opportunity to work with your kundalini in a needed service that can help so many - Kudos to you... thinking of you e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2009 Report Share Posted July 12, 2009 hey thanks for your encouragement Deb, I think this last week I've been put through a fear test and it makes sense, I'm feeling deep within my heart that I need to reclaim my power and authenticity, and this is the strongest factor right now that has the power to take it away. All I know is that I feel a great release each time I see myself from the eyes of the class in that moment and I forgive myself, it feels wonderful and blissful but doesn't feel complete yet. Unconsciously, I know I'm my own worst judge, in fact I can see that I'm the only judge that has the power to take away my own power, but don't know yet how to reclaim it. But Tom Petty's song " I Won't Back Down " keeps playing in my head, mainly the lyrics " you can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down. " So I'm just gonna say, BRING IT ON HELL! YOU WON'T DESTROY ME ANY LONGER!!! whew craig ps, walking on the earth barefoot doesn't seem to help with this. This acute pain that I feel when I consciously listen to silence outside of formal meditation has been here for a year now, but I no longer feel like I should wait until it's not painful, it hasn't got any better and I know this is where my path is leading me, to always be resting in the silence no matter where I am, so it feels like the only way out is through. In fact, it's not that painful today , " flowerpowers7777 " <flowerpowers7777 wrote: > > Hi Craig, > > Good Luck to you with the terminology - I noticed since the k started I can learn things I couldn't get through before...such as math! haha > > I do not like getting up in front of the class...I mean I could say the same thing in my chair you know like I'm just talking to everyone and they are talking with me and I'm fine, but put me in front of the class and I feel like fainting. > > You know how they say to imagine them all wearing nothing but their underwear...well that was sorta helping but what helped more was I told them.. " I'm seeing all of you in your underwear...looking good " or something and then I lightened up a bit. > But honestly would rather shovel manure...not that I come across manure that often...but still would rather! (: > > Does putting your bare feet in the earth help your head at all? > > Well good luck with everything and hope things go so smoothly for you!!! > Deb > > , " kundaflame " <kundaflame@> wrote: > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2009 Report Share Posted July 12, 2009 thanks for your encouragement , I'll still be posting, but not as much, nor do I think I'll be able to keep up with all the posts anymore, I guess i'll let Shakti guide me on what posts to read... Yes, this is my first time going back out into the world since my K became really active, since I consciously became a Kundalite. It kinda sucks, I wish I could be open and honest, but since western medical practice has not proven or even heard of such a thing, it's probably best not to talk about it to anyone in my class. But it's way easier to get out of my comfort zone if my heart's in it. My desire to help people is way outweighing whatever the root of this anxiety and fear is. Honestly it really just feels like conditioned energy that gets triggered, but the only downside is that when it gets triggered I loose a lot of my ability to think coherently... Lots of emotional processing going on for me at this moment. much love craig , " " . wrote: > > it is hard to start new things and be out of a comfort zone craig... > take one day at a time and ask Shakti for guidance and what ever help you need - just be yourself - you are a wonderful fella and very likable - listen to the others and you will learn from them - know that you have your group here to offer support energy wise always- so even though you may not be posting you will be here and i for one will be sending you lot of good thoughts and prayers that you can open your mind to new learnings and embrace all the necessary terminology and knowing needed to follow this path if it is what you truly want. > > keep up the practice - it will help you stay calm and relaxed - i have confidence in you that you will excel in all you do - > > blessings dear craig - a new adventure - a new path - a new service for others - a well needed service - you have a wonderful opportunity to work with your kundalini in a needed service that can help so many - Kudos to you... > thinking of you > e > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2009 Report Share Posted July 13, 2009 Good luck with your new endevours Craig, seems like you are doing really well, following your inner voice, taking new steps forward. I feel good things are coming for you. Blessings and love elektra x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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