Guest guest Posted July 15, 2009 Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 I have something to share that has changed my life. It is a process that has helped me clear a lot of self-loathing that has plagued me for so many years. I remember when you guys brought up the whole " who am I? " conversation. I did that and got to the point of wanting to be the little me that took her first breath. I realized that life circumstances didn't define me. Nor does my name, my money, my family, my pain. Now that said, it took me to a point of being able to objectively look at my life, my mistakes. I began getting that little voice in my head that says " Ugh I'm so stupid, I did this and this, yadda yadda. " I then had an epiphany. I thought about forgiveness. Sure I always TOLD myself that I truly forgave myself, but obviously I never did as the thoughts were still there. Then I asked myself a different question... " Would I be able to forgive someone whom did the exact same things as I did? " My answer was absolutely! Then I thought, would I be able to forgive my rapist, my mother, all these other people that hurt me, if they truly meant it? My answer shocked me. Absolutely! If I was God and if the biggest child serial killer came to the gates of heaven, crying and truly meant it in their heart that they realized what they did was wrong, would I grant them access? Absolutely! Would I make them suffer hell? Absolutely not!! How is that forgiveness when punishment is anger? I realized it is the hardest thing in the world to forgive oneself. But in the end, what defines you? Everything can be forgiven. Even you, with the deepest darkest secrets you have in the back of your closet. If you look through the eyes of the all-knowing, all that is, it really doesn't matter what you have done. As long as you grow from them, consider your mistakes a blessing. Thought I would share. -Tiffany S. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2009 Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 Thank you for sharing! I have been knee deep in trying to catch up with the posts over the weekend but had to see what just came in from you and it totally resonates! You go girl! Bliss, Maggie , " angelikdementia " <angelikdementia wrote: As long as you grow from them, consider your mistakes a blessing. > > Thought I would share. > -Tiffany S. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2009 Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 My view is tha God loves everyone with absolute unconditional love.. period. His wrath and anger are against the crimes we commit. Sometimes it is necessary for him to turn his back on us, which feels like he does not love us or cares, but in his absolute knowing, knows that we sometimes have to hit bottom before we can realize what we do to our own selves and others. Only then are we able to turn from those ways and begain the spiral upwards. That is the christian repentance, the turning around. He is there at the turning with open loving arms of exceptence just as you are. You do not have to clean up first, but afterwards as you gain strength and consciousness of the layers of dirt and grime. My experience has been, we have lots of turning points, at least in my case. Maybe at each level of awareness. Blessings & love, Linda , " angelikdementia " <angelikdementia wrote: > > I have something to share that has changed my life. It is a process that has helped me clear a lot of self-loathing that has plagued me for so many years. > > I remember when you guys brought up the whole " who am I? " conversation. I did that and got to the point of wanting to be the little me that took her first breath. I realized that life circumstances didn't define me. Nor does my name, my money, my family, my pain. Now that said, it took me to a point of being able to objectively look at my life, my mistakes. > > I began getting that little voice in my head that says " Ugh I'm so stupid, I did this and this, yadda yadda. " I then had an epiphany. > > I thought about forgiveness. Sure I always TOLD myself that I truly forgave myself, but obviously I never did as the thoughts were still there. Then I asked myself a different question... > > " Would I be able to forgive someone whom did the exact same things as I did? " My answer was absolutely! > > Then I thought, would I be able to forgive my rapist, my mother, all these other people that hurt me, if they truly meant it? My answer shocked me. Absolutely! > > If I was God and if the biggest child serial killer came to the gates of heaven, crying and truly meant it in their heart that they realized what they did was wrong, would I grant them access? Absolutely! Would I make them suffer hell? Absolutely not!! How is that forgiveness when punishment is anger? > > I realized it is the hardest thing in the world to forgive oneself. But in the end, what defines you? Everything can be forgiven. Even you, with the deepest darkest secrets you have in the back of your closet. If you look through the eyes of the all-knowing, all that is, it really doesn't matter what you have done. As long as you grow from them, consider your mistakes a blessing. > > Thought I would share. > -Tiffany S. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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