Alpen Love Glow - Lucia

[Guest guest]

Blessings and right turning spins to you and your family and friend Lucia! Give

those Alps some Shakti Love! - blessings Lucia - chrism

 

 

 

, " lari.lu " <lari.lu

wrote:

 

> it's going to be nice to do the tibetans way way up high in the alps!

[Guest guest]

dear chrism and group,

I'm back from the mountains, nicely sunburned and with aching legs

I discovered spinning on irregular ground makes one so much dizzier, it's really

hard to keep balance!

and I also found singing with a roaring river is just amazing.. you cant hear

your voice with your ears anymore, so all you can do is feel the vibration

inside the body. I will have to look for a noisy river nearer home now.. there

were so many streams up there, beautiful.

 

ok, I have a problem though..

chrism, you say what my boyfriend is experiencing lately is due to libido loss

because of kundalini, his being such a loner, avoiding most any kind of close

contact.

I am trying to accept it, but I'm sort of in a 50/50 place now..

there are times when I'm ok with it, I can see it as just a fase, take it as a

prompt and an urge to delve deeper in to my own process, when I can appreciate

the new areas that get touched inside the relationship due to this.. see it as a

way to grow, inside and outside of it. and come around the corner richer and

more free...more able to love, in a more unconditional and unattached way..

which is probably the way it is, and is what I am trying to do.

 

but then there are times when I crash, and fear takes over.. what if this is

just going to get worse and worse, more and more distance, the deeper he sinks

in to his process? and also the deeper I sink in to my own? this is what

causes me so much fear.. I am not at all ready for something like that. I

cannot live with the situation as it is forever. what if it's going to develope

more and more in this direction, if kundalini is going to require a separation?

it takes so much effort to face this possibility and stay peaceful.. just

thinking of it is horrible.. and has me all down again.. I dont even want to

post this anymore... but I will cause I really need to hear some thoughts...

it's not about the s & x. it's the closeness I miss so sorely. I cant pretend it

doesent matter..

it's painful, being on the other end of this.. I cant even get angry at him, I

cant do anything at all except hurt or trust and wait.. and it's hard to trust I

tell you.. I cant demand explanations..he just says it's kundalini.. and that's

no comfort. I cant ask for answers... even he doesn't know.. and feeling him

squirm away, o it hurts!!

 

I feel like such a stupid sometimes, trying to surrender and trust it's all for

the best, just blind.. but then not, and that is where I start wanting to bonk

my head on the wall real hard..

 

much love, and thanks for bearing with me, any thoughts are greately

appreciated..

lucia

 

 

, " chrism " <>

wrote:

>

> Blessings and right turning spins to you and your family and friend Lucia!

Give those Alps some Shakti Love! - blessings Lucia - chrism

>

[Guest guest]

In many ways the Kundalini can help us to redefine our lives through the

experience of relationships becoming more intense and more joyful of the very

small interactions that burst with love. Or the opposite. Depends on what we

need to learn.

 

And it can also redefine our inner relationship with ourselves as this process

is a transforming one and sometimes we will need to be more focused within that

paradigm.

 

Some of your fears have the qualities of the " what if this or what if that "

occurs and these are mere fear based insecurities. These you can begin to

dislodge from your awareness as they are mere seeds of discomfort based upon

unstable imbalances of false ego inflicted parameters of what can be expected

within a loving relationship.

 

Kundalini is a portent of change. A wave of extreme inner and outer

transformation. Inside of these changes the familiar " way of being " will not

always be expressive nor will these changes always be understood.

 

As these changes occur often the gaze is turned inward and we are engulfed in

our own inner processes. This doesn't indicate a lack of love or of respect or

of interest in the relationship. It does indicate the need for the

" unconditional " aspect of love for another inside of the relationship.

 

We often need to be engrossed with this quality and yet also we can embrace

change even if or when it comes into the intimate dynamics of the relationship.

Emotional intimacies as well as the physical ones.

 

In many ways the physical/emotional needs are being transcended. As are the

needs of attachment or being defined through interactions with another. We can

begin to express and embrace our own divine redefinition and from that aspect of

wholeness can we blend with those of whom we are bonded with by love.

 

Love is far greater than mere recognition of needs. Be it physical or emotional

or mental attentions. Love surpasses these qualities and at the same time

embraces them within the wider context.

 

There is no need to fear dear Lucia. See his process as a teaching of what you

also may come to experience and know that this isn't an indicator of anything

but what his internal Kundalini process is bestowing. Where this will lead him

is a dynamic of his personal relationship with the divine within him self and

does not reflect upon you or your desires or attachments except as you determine

to be effected by them. His process will continue regardless.

 

Your process is also inside of a similar context and as you mature into your

awakening so will you become detached at times and more attached at other times.

You may find that the more you depend upon attachment to qualify your self as a

viable and singular expression of divinity the more fear will creep into your

awareness.

 

Freedom to love in all of its expressions is best in my humble opinion. Freedom

to be attached or not as is determined by the Kundalini at that time in a

process. Doesn't mean anything is permanent merely that sometimes we need a

cocoon in which to find maturation within aspects of the process.

 

Love is a branch of the tree upon which the cocoon is attached.

 

I will suggest that you embrace his process as you embrace your own and know

that these are sacred areas of self discovery and of transformation. These are

areas where our worst fears can be realized if it is for us to learn those

lessons. If we can move beyond our fears then these lessons are brief and

swiftly traveled through. If we cling to our comforts then we may need to have

these comforts gently extricated that we may allow our process to continue.

 

These areas are also for our greatest joys to be embraced and expressed. Yet

even inside of great joy will we be given breaks from such strong amplitudes of

the loving expression and into the softness of the continuous meditation of love

for all creation. Peaks and valleys and ebbs and flows of the Kundalini are

constants within the gift of the divine upon the physical experience.

 

Love is a continuous theme.

 

It never stops but it is modulated for the inner and outer environment to be

infused with the qualities of Kundalini for its greater holding and expression

through the five body(s). We will need to experience many of the pleasant and

unpleasant aspects of love until we can come into the higher understandings. In

this way are we realigned with the universal truths of the many faceted jewel of

what we call LOVE.

 

Go with your process dear Lucia. Do not fall into fear unless you feel you need

to learn those lessons. You have this choice. Allow your love to widen and

broaden in its integrity and strength without totally relying on familiar

expectations of reciprocation. Allow your process and his process to be honored

in the ways that they require and any specific time. Honesty and integrity are

great communicators and these qualities will not lead you astray. - blessings

Lucia! - chrism

 

 

, " lari.lu " <lari.lu

wrote:

>dear chrism and group,

more able to love, in a more unconditional and unattached way.. which is

probably the way it is, and is what I am trying to do.

>but then there are times when I crash, and fear takes over..

[Guest guest]

thank you so much chrism, I will read and reread this every time I feel the

voices growing loud again.. I cant say how much his helps..

love,

lucia

 

 

> Some of your fears have the qualities of the " what if this or what if that "

occurs and these are mere fear based insecurities. These you can begin to

dislodge from your awareness as they are mere seeds of discomfort based upon

unstable imbalances of false ego inflicted parameters of what can be expected

within a loving relationship.

>

[Guest guest]

I feel for your situation Lucia, transformation is not always easy.I pray that the highest good transpire and that you both find your way, and learn and grow from the experience.If its a recent thing that happened from out of nowhere I wouldnt worry too much. And anyway, worrying never does any good, what will be will be in the end whether you worry about it or not so try to stay centred. Sometimes I need some alone/me time and have spent months at a time seperated from my husband, life did it to us but perhaps for the greater good, and we are happier then ever.Love and hugselektra x x x

[Guest guest]

hi elektra,I'm really feeling much better today.. I think all this fear coming up so violently is helping me to come though it, I can see I have some strong attachments to how it "should be", and fall in to comparing my situation with those of others.. which is impossible to do lolit's quite confusing in truth and I dont htink I'm completely there yet but one step at a time right? also, needing love to be confirmed and not being at rest if it isn't.and yes, worring and fearing just make it much worse.. as soon as I let go and accept it truly, letting go of the expectations (not just ok I'll sit though this but not much longer and so on) it all takes on a new perspective, and I can see that he is not really avoiding me or anything... just the contact takes on another form, it's maybe more subtle, but equally

pleasent and enjoyable. so worring is actually potentially dangerous, as it pushes in the exact direction I am worring about. it blinds me and really does severe the connection I am anguished over having severed!! ha, I just got that one clearer lol!!thanks elektra!! a big hug back!lucia--- Mar 28/7/09, Elektra Fire <elektra.fire ha scritto:Da: Elektra Fire <elektra.fireOggetto: Re: Re: Alpen Love Glow - LuciaA: Data: Martedì 28 luglio 2009, 15:18

 

 

I feel for your situation Lucia, transformation is not always easy.I pray that the highest good transpire and that you both find your way, and learn and grow from the experience.If its a recent thing that happened from out of nowhere I wouldnt worry too much. And anyway, worrying never does any good, what will be will be in the end whether you worry about it or not so try to stay centred. Sometimes I need some alone/me time and have spent months at a time seperated from my husband, life did it to us but perhaps for the greater good, and we are happier then ever.Love and hugselektra x x x

[Guest guest]

Namastedear Luciai read your post on this topic the last couple of days, and it is a blessing to see your moving through the layers that KMa is bringing forth. . . .it seems from the recent posts that K Ma has several (Jan, Linda, Elecktra, Skydancer and yourself) in her arms all at once dancing each through the feminine/masculine . . .and must say the dance is beautiful with beautiful women dancing within Her loving arms into wholeness within and without. . .Lucia thought you might enjoy this quote by Pema Chodron from "The Places That Scare You" . . . .it is one that i often go back and re-read on the journey. . . ."We are told about the pain of chasing

after pleasure and the futility of running from pain. We hear also

about the joy of awakening, of realizing our interconnectedness, of

trusting the openness of our hearts and minds. But we aren't told all

that much about this state of being in-between, no longer able to get

our old comfort from the outside but not yet dwelling in a continual

sense of equanimity and warmth.Anxiety, heartbreak, and

tenderness mark the in-between state. It's the kind of place we usually

want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than make

us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of

being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When

we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises

spontaneously. By not knowing, not only hoping to know, and not acting

like we know what's happening, we begin to access our inner strength.Yet

it seems reasonable to want some kind of relief. If we can make the

situation right or wrong, if we can pin it down in any way, then we are

on familiar ground. But something has shaken up our habitual patterns

and frequently they no longer work. Staying with volatile energy

gradually becomes more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it.

This open-ended tender place is called bodhichitta. Staying with it is

what heals . . . It's how the warrior learns to love." Pema Chodron The Places That Scare YouLucia last week came across a gem from Shin Buddhism, Namu Amida Batsu" which means;"in the rain and in the sunshine"always we are evolving through Her "in the rain and in the sunshine"ordinary sparrow , maria lucia squillari <lari.lu wrote:>> hi elektra,I'm really feeling much better today.. I think all this fear coming up so violently is helping me to come though it, I can see I have some strong attachments to how it "should be", and fall in to comparing my situation with those of others.. which is impossible to do lolit's quite confusing in truth and I dont htink I'm completely there yet but one step at a time right? also, needing love to be confirmed and not being at rest if it isn't.> and yes, worring and fearing just make it much worse.. as soon as I let go and accept it truly, letting go of the expectations (not just ok I'll sit though this but not much longer and so on) it all takes on a new perspective, and I can see that he is not really avoiding me or anything... just the contact takes on another form, it's maybe more subtle, but equally pleasent and enjoyable. so worring is actually potentially dangerous, as it pushes in the exact direction I am worring about. it blinds me and really does severe the connection I am anguished over having severed!! ha, I just got that one clearer lol!!> thanks elektra!! a big hug back!lucia> > > > --- Mar 28/7/09, Elektra Fire elektra.fire ha scritto:> > Da: Elektra Fire elektra.fire Oggetto: Re: Re: Alpen Love Glow - Lucia> A: > Data: Martedì 28 luglio 2009, 15:18> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I feel for your situation Lucia, transformation is not always easy.> I pray that the highest good transpire and that you both find your way, and learn and grow from the experience.> If its a recent thing that happened from out of nowhere I wouldnt worry too much. And anyway, worrying never does any good, what will be will be in the end whether you worry about it or not so try to stay centred. Sometimes I need some alone/me time and have spent months at a time seperated from my husband, life did it to us but perhaps for the greater good, and we are happier then ever.> > Love and hugs> elektra x x x>

[Guest guest]

sparrow, again I cannot but say that that was just beautiful thank you..

it's such a comfort to have this group to turn to.. like an anchor for my boat

when things get rough. it really helps get things clearer.

yes, the old and the new.. that " in between place " can get quite loud sometimes

lol!!

it felt like a war the other day, it was so noisy in my head!

 

much love,

lucia

 

 

, " ordinarysparrow "

<ordinarysparrow wrote:

>

> Namaste

>

> dear Lucia

>

> i read your post on this topic the last couple of days, and it is a

> blessing to see your moving through the layers that KMa is bringing

> forth. . . .

>

> it seems from the recent posts that K Ma has several (Jan, Linda,

> Elecktra, Skydancer and yourself) in her arms all at once dancing each

> through the feminine/masculine . . .and must say the dance is beautiful

> with beautiful women dancing within Her loving arms into wholeness

> within and without. . .

>

> Lucia thought you might enjoy this quote by Pema Chodron from " The

> Places That Scare You " . . . .it is one that i often go back and

> re-read on the journey. . . .

>

> " We are told about the pain of chasing after pleasure and the futility

> of running from pain. We hear also about the joy of awakening, of

> realizing our interconnectedness, of trusting the openness of our hearts

> and minds. But we aren't told all that much about this state of being

> in-between, no longer able to get our old comfort from the outside but

> not yet dwelling in a continual sense of equanimity and warmth.

>

> Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It's the

> kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the

> middle rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with

> the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our

> hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle,

> compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not only hoping to

> know, and not acting like we know what's happening, we begin to access

> our inner strength.

>

> Yet it seems reasonable to want some kind of relief. If we can make the

> situation right or wrong, if we can pin it down in any way, then we are

> on familiar ground. But something has shaken up our habitual patterns

> and frequently they no longer work. Staying with volatile energy

> gradually becomes more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it.

> This open-ended tender place is called bodhichitta. Staying with it is

> what heals . . . It's how the warrior learns to love. "

>

> Pema Chodron The Places That Scare You

>

>

> Lucia last week came across a gem from Shin Buddhism, Namu Amida Batsu "

> which means;

> " in the rain and in the sunshine "

>

> always we are evolving through Her

> " in the rain and in the sunshine "

> ordinary sparrow

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Sparrow,

 

thanks for this.. its one of the nicest understandings of Bodhichitta I have

come across...

 

love

Bruce

 

>>Yet it seems reasonable to want some kind of relief. If we can make the

situation right or wrong, if we can pin it down in any way, then we are on

familiar ground. But something has shaken up our habitual patterns and

frequently they no longer work. Staying with volatile energy gradually becomes

more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it. This open-ended tender

place is called bodhichitta. Staying with it is what heals . . . It's how the

warrior learns to love. "

 

Pema Chodron The Places That Scare You

 

 

Lucia last week came across a gem from Shin Buddhism, Namu Amida Batsu " which

means;

" in the rain and in the sunshine "

 

always we are evolving through Her

" in the rain and in the sunshine "