Guest guest Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Hi All, Today..my wife is leaving me. I have been anticipating this for almost 2 months now. I have been declaring my surrender to the K process and now it's here. This is it..as always says this is where the rubber meets the road. Now i have to make a choice..to dwell in the pain of the loss or to discern that this is for the good of us both. I have followed the post of some of our sisters here baring their souls..now, its my turn..I have not treated my wife with the love and care that a fairly loving spouse should, in fact i treated her as a s & xual object. I did this even though i knew she was a victim of s & xual abuse since her childhood. I have been unfaithful to her on several occasions..this is my dark side..i want to let it all out for you all to see. I know that i have this close relationship to God but still i carry this other side of me inside. I hope that with this separation..it will make me a better person..to learn the lessons well..to make atonement for my mistakes and to be able to be of service to others.. Namaste blessings to all, edgar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Namaste blessings to you Edgar during this time of looking in and looking deep. .. . may you be comforted by the Universal Mother within and without, that hold you in the sorrow, the tears and the living through these days, with understanding, comfort, guidance, and unconditional love. . . She will show the way Home to the place where all the hearts are still One. .. . be gentle with yourself and know we care. . . love and peace ordinary sparrow , Edok Ananda <edok.ananda wrote: > > Hi All, > > Today..my wife is leaving me. I have been anticipating this for almost 2 months now. I have been declaring my surrender to the K process and now it's here. This is it..as always says this is where the rubber meets the road. Now i have to make a choice..to dwell in the pain of the loss or to discern that this is for the good of us both. > I have followed the post of some of our sisters here baring their souls..now, its my turn..I have not treated my wife with the love and care that a fairly loving spouse should, in fact i treated her as a s & xual object. I did this even though i knew she was a victim of s & xual abuse since her childhood. I have been unfaithful to her on several occasions..this is my dark side..i want to let it all out for you all to see. I know that i have this close relationship to God but still i carry this other side of me inside. > I hope that with this separation..it will make me a better person..to learn the lessons well..to make atonement for my mistakes and to be able to be of service to others.. > > Namaste > blessings to all, > edgar > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Hi Edgar, First and foremost: we are all human and everyone has done things that they can say they regret. I would suggest to not to think about this right now as it is in at its highest emotional peak. Spend sometime with friends and let the emotions settle down. As they say " time heals " . Later you will think much more clearly, and everything will be more calm. We are all here to support you! Love, Mike On Sat, Aug 8, 2009 at 3:06 PM, Edok Ananda <edok.ananda wrote: > > > Hi All, > > Today..my wife is leaving me. I have been anticipating this for almost 2 > months now. I have been declaring my surrender to the K process and now it's > here. This is it..as always says this is where the rubber meets the > road. Now i have to make a choice..to dwell in the pain of the loss or to > discern that this is for the good of us both. > I have followed the post of some of our sisters here baring their > souls..now, its my turn..I have not treated my wife with the love and care > that a fairly loving spouse should, in fact i treated her as a s & xual > object. I did this even though i knew she was a victim of s & xual abuse since > her childhood. I have been unfaithful to her on several occasions..this is > my dark side..i want to let it all out for you all to see. I know that i > have this close relationship to God but still i carry this other side of me > inside. > I hope that with this separation..it will make me a better person..to learn > the lessons well..to make atonement for my mistakes and to be able to be of > service to others.. > > Namaste > blessings to all, > edgar > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Hi Edgar, my view is opposite the others, I believe your best spiritual growth is not under the trees and up a mountain , it is with your wife. I don't know your personal story therefore i'll share with you my own life. I have been married for 17 years, and every piece of my intense life and dark shadow has been lived through and borne by my amazing husband. He has built me when i've been broken , he lives selfless service to me and all he meets. Together we have lived heaven and hell. Most of our life lessons have been worked out right there in that marriage.Marriage really whacks you into the now. If you want to deal with forgiveness , it's here in the now, not at some safe distance with people you will help in future.If you want to experience living breathing spirituality , then get back in the trenches, there together you will find it. If she truly intended to leave you she would'nt have taken two months to get there. right here right now is your point of enquiry traps and freedoms, there are traps in the physical, emotional and yes also in the spiritual body comming to a point of truth you can see where you were tied up ,where something was said or not said , realised or not realised in that moment there is choice. enlightenment can be realised with a spouse (jesus / magdelene ) if you wish to give of yourself begin with your wife.Examine why you have appeared in each others lifes, and why it is no accident, you met.. these are just my projections from my own married life , so please forgive me if they do not fit your own life choices.. purple. , Edok Ananda <edok.ananda wrote: > > Hi All, > > Today..my wife is leaving me. I have been anticipating this for almost 2 months now. I have been declaring my surrender to the K process and now it's here. This is it..as always says this is where the rubber meets the road. Now i have to make a choice..to dwell in the pain of the loss or to discern that this is for the good of us both. > I have followed the post of some of our sisters here baring their souls..now, its my turn..I have not treated my wife with the love and care that a fairly loving spouse should, in fact i treated her as a s & xual object. I did this even though i knew she was a victim of s & xual abuse since her childhood. I have been unfaithful to her on several occasions..this is my dark side..i want to let it all out for you all to see. I know that i have this close relationship to God but still i carry this other side of me inside. > I hope that with this separation..it will make me a better person..to learn the lessons well..to make atonement for my mistakes and to be able to be of service to others.. > > Namaste > blessings to all, > edgar > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Hi Sparrow, Mike, Thank you so much for your comforting words.. blessings & love to you, edgar ________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Hi purple, There's nothing to be sorry for and thanks for sharing your story too! blessings & love to you, edgar ________________________________ purple_firefly111 <purple_firefly111 Saturday, August 8, 2009 6:52:46 PM Re: Separations Hi Edgar, my view is opposite the others, I believe your best spiritual growth is not under the trees and up a mountain , it is with your wife. I don't know your personal story therefore i'll share with you my own life. I have been married for 17 years, and every piece of my intense life and dark shadow has been lived through and borne by my amazing husband. He has built me when i've been broken , he lives selfless service to me and all he meets. Together we have lived heaven and hell. Most of our life lessons have been worked out right there in that marriage.Marriage really whacks you into the now. If you want to deal with forgiveness , it's here in the now, not at some safe distance with people you will help in future.If you want to experience living breathing spirituality , then get back in the trenches, there together you will find it. If she truly intended to leave you she would'nt have taken two months to get there. right here right now is your point of enquiry traps and freedoms, there are traps in the physical, emotional and yes also in the spiritual body comming to a point of truth you can see where you were tied up ,where something was said or not said , realised or not realised in that moment there is choice. enlightenment can be realised with a spouse (jesus / magdelene ) if you wish to give of yourself begin with your wife.Examine why you have appeared in each others lifes, and why it is no accident, you met.. these are just my projections from my own married life , so please forgive me if they do not fit your own life choices.. purple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 It sounds as if the situation was unhealthy for both of you. This separation will most definitely help both parties involved. Time to reflect and yes, it will make you a better person. Consider this a chance to get to know yourself and answer these thoughts and questions. Make lemonade out of lemons so to speak. Sometimes these things happen but you will overcome and grow! Best of wishes for you and your spouse. -Tiffany S , Edok Ananda <edok.ananda wrote: > > Hi All, > > Today..my wife is leaving me. I have been anticipating this for almost 2 months now. I have been declaring my surrender to the K process and now it's here. This is it..as always says this is where the rubber meets the road. Now i have to make a choice..to dwell in the pain of the loss or to discern that this is for the good of us both. > I have followed the post of some of our sisters here baring their souls..now, its my turn..I have not treated my wife with the love and care that a fairly loving spouse should, in fact i treated her as a s & xual object. I did this even though i knew she was a victim of s & xual abuse since her childhood. I have been unfaithful to her on several occasions..this is my dark side..i want to let it all out for you all to see. I know that i have this close relationship to God but still i carry this other side of me inside. > I hope that with this separation..it will make me a better person..to learn the lessons well..to make atonement for my mistakes and to be able to be of service to others.. > > Namaste > blessings to all, > edgar > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Another different look at it: " One aspect of love is allowing one to go without forcing them to return. If love is within them to return then love will guide them back. If love isnt within them to return then love allows them to go. " - chrism , Majitha E <majitha79 wrote: You must fight now to be the husband you never was and being the husband to her that she deserves... That is the right way...!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Hi Edgar, Wishing you both the best! I pray when you think or speak of each other it is in the highest light - I pray that this transition will go smoothly and beautifully for both of you. That you both embrace the joy, love and beauty inside and see that in each other no matter where your lives take you. May you walk barefoot in the sand with a smile on your face and lots of sand in between your toes (so much so that even when you wipe your feet off really really good - there is still sand in your car to remind you of that sunny day and call you back so you can squish your toes) (: Thank you for sharing and always wishing you the best! Much love! Deb (: PS - Don't forget to bring Tiffany's lemonade! (: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Hi Mike, Sparrow, Purple, Maji, Tiffany & Debs, Namaste Thank you for your thoughts and wishes...I want to make it clear that my wife has already left me for another man. I have done my best during the last 2 months to change her mind but apparently she loves him more than me. I look at this as a severing of the cord that ties me to my old self, to my old man and i am looking forward to a new self a new beginning. I thought i have prepared myself adequately with the practice of the safeties but the pain hurts right in the heart. However i choose not to focus on this pain but rather see it as a loving lesson from K ma.Also, writing about my feelings here help a lot and especially receiving your thoughts & cares & wishes really help in pulling out the thorns in the heart. I dont have any control on what is happening and i dont intend on controlling it. I offer it all to the Holy Spirit / K ma, to the divine in me. I dont know what the future brings but i put my trust and hope that my Kundalini knows the best for me and for my ex-wife. Once again, thank you so very much, i appreciate everything that you have offered for me here. i'll have to look where to scatter the thorns and make some lemonade too!!! blessings and love to you all, edgar ________________________________ flowerpowers7777 <flowerpowers7777 Sunday, August 9, 2009 6:35:13 PM Re: Separations Hi Edgar, Wishing you both the best! I pray when you think or speak of each other it is in the highest light - I pray that this transition will go smoothly and beautifully for both of you. That you both embrace the joy, love and beauty inside and see that in each other no matter where your lives take you. May you walk barefoot in the sand with a smile on your face and lots of sand in between your toes (so much so that even when you wipe your feet off really really good - there is still sand in your car to remind you of that sunny day and call you back so you can squish your toes) (: Thank you for sharing and always wishing you the best! Much love! Deb (: PS - Don't forget to bring Tiffany's lemonade! (: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Yes what ever you wish you have the power to attract it. it is your own strength! MAJI Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you'll help them to become what they are capable of becoming. --- On Sun, 8/9/09, Edok Ananda <edok.ananda wrote: Edok Ananda <edok.ananda Re: Re: Separations Sunday, August 9, 2009, 7:48 PM Hi Mike, Sparrow, Purple, Maji, Tiffany & Debs, Namaste Thank you for your thoughts and wishes...I want to make it clear that my wife has already left me for another man. I have done my best during the last 2 months to change her mind but apparently she loves him more than me. I look at this as a severing of the cord that ties me to my old self, to my old man and i am looking forward to a new self a new beginning. I thought i have prepared myself adequately with the practice of the safeties but the pain hurts right in the heart. However i choose not to focus on this pain but rather see it as a loving lesson from K ma.Also, writing about my feelings here help a lot and especially receiving your thoughts & cares & wishes really help in pulling out the thorns in the heart. I dont have any control on what is happening and i dont intend on controlling it. I offer it all to the Holy Spirit / K ma, to the divine in me. I dont know what the future brings but i put my trust and hope that my Kundalini knows the best for me and for my ex-wife. Once again, thank you so very much, i appreciate everything that you have offered for me here. i'll have to look where to scatter the thorns and make some lemonade too!!! blessings and love to you all, edgar ________________________________ flowerpowers7777 <flowerpowers7777 Sunday, August 9, 2009 6:35:13 PM Re: Separations Hi Edgar, Wishing you both the best! I pray when you think or speak of each other it is in the highest light - I pray that this transition will go smoothly and beautifully for both of you. That you both embrace the joy, love and beauty inside and see that in each other no matter where your lives take you. May you walk barefoot in the sand with a smile on your face and lots of sand in between your toes (so much so that even when you wipe your feet off really really good - there is still sand in your car to remind you of that sunny day and call you back so you can squish your toes) (: Thank you for sharing and always wishing you the best! Much love! Deb (: PS - Don't forget to bring Tiffany's lemonade! (: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 yes this is very beautiful we have a saying " like a bird who flies out of the cage and returns if it belongs, to you... Then love also comes back...Often i have seen this many times among coupls. My husband does speak very rarely to me but i know he will come back. We had huge fights last few months and i am waiting until his ego goes away.... i am patient! MAJI Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you'll help them to become what they are capable of becoming. --- On Sun, 8/9/09, chrism <> wrote: <> Re: Separations Sunday, August 9, 2009, 1:29 PM Another different look at it: " One aspect of love is allowing one to go without forcing them to return. If love is within them to return then love will guide them back. If love isnt within them to return then love allows them to go. " - chrism , Majitha E <majitha79 wrote: You must fight now to be the husband you never was and being the husband to her that she deserves... That is the right way...!!! --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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