New to the group.

[Guest guest]

My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I have

read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

 

I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since childhood. I

grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I have a teacher.

There was always something in the teaching offered by many so called guides

which required obedience to something other than the origin of life which is

what I have always considered to be God.

 

I began my true spiritual walk when I started learning Wing Chun kungfu. It

focused on internal peace, focus, and control. This naturally put me on the path

of self contemplation. I began a practice of martial training, prayer, and

meditation.

 

On one occasion I was " listening " inside my body when I felt a bright point at

the top of my head. This was followed by an echo from my root point. As the top

got brighter so did the root. And then at once I felt a current rising. It was

like water with electricity running through it, and covered in fire. It moved up

my spine. I've never felt so alive in my entire life.

 

But then the current got to the base of my head. My eyes were open and I could

see and feel reality slipping away from me. I thought about my wife and my

children and was instantly gripped with fear. I felt death overtaking me and all

I could think of is that I was leaving my family without a father. I realized

that I was not ready for this. I renounced my fear. I could feel the fear making

it worse.

 

So instead I began deep breathing and a rhythmic tensing of my major muscle

groups. I also cast blessings in all directions and to all life. This took

energy from the rising current and allowed it to descend.

 

I spent last winter focusing on my physical martial training. But these past few

months I have been unable to resist the pull of the path. I stand at the doorway

in fear. I have no guide. I have read the safeties. I do practice most of them.

But there were other things I didn't know that appear to make plenty of sense

and I will incorporate them immediately.

 

I can feel the path the the current took through me last summer. It is becoming

more noticeable to me in my daily waking hours. I must pass through. But I don't

want to be foolish about it either.

 

What is this sensation of death that came over me? Has anyone died as a result

of this current rising? Will I go insane? What ever happens doesn't really

matter since I will cross that threshold at some point whether I'm ready or not.

I just don't want to go in blind. I would like to be prepared.

 

I have work to do. And I will only find out what my work is when I cross the

threshold and take my place. I thought I had conquered my fear. I have not. My

experience showed me that I'm much weaker than I thought.

[Guest guest]

Namaste Ben,

 

Twenty five years ago I too was a student of the martial arts following a

divorce from a marriage with an abusive man. I was determined to never be a

victim again. It was during Chi Kung and Kung Fu training that my Sifu

discovered I was an energy worker. He did not quite know what to do with me.

 

I turned to Reiki and inside of two years had successfully climbed the

levels and achieved the status of Master, but I still knew there was more.

 

It was when I found a teacher that was solid, firmly grounded, and spiritual

that things happened for me. I feel you will find these things here. There

are many good and intellectual people at KAS that really have practical

advice and knowledge. You have come to the right place.

 

I wish you all the best. Welcome aboard.

 

Jai maa

 

Sheree

aka

Shwet Kamal Maa

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Mon, Aug 10, 2009 at 4:26 PM, shilivan <shilivan wrote:

 

>

>

> My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I

> have read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

>

> I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since

> childhood. I grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I

> have a teacher. There was always something in the teaching offered by many

> so called guides which required obedience to something other than the origin

> of life which is what I have always considered to be God.

>

> I began my true spiritual walk when I started learning Wing Chun kungfu. It

> focused on internal peace, focus, and control. This naturally put me on the

> path of self contemplation. I began a practice of martial training, prayer,

> and meditation.

>

> On one occasion I was " listening " inside my body when I felt a bright point

> at the top of my head. This was followed by an echo from my root point. As

> the top got brighter so did the root. And then at once I felt a current

> rising. It was like water with electricity running through it, and covered

> in fire. It moved up my spine. I've never felt so alive in my entire life.

>

> But then the current got to the base of my head. My eyes were open and I

> could see and feel reality slipping away from me. I thought about my wife

> and my children and was instantly gripped with fear. I felt death overtaking

> me and all I could think of is that I was leaving my family without a

> father. I realized that I was not ready for this. I renounced my fear. I

> could feel the fear making it worse.

>

> So instead I began deep breathing and a rhythmic tensing of my major muscle

> groups. I also cast blessings in all directions and to all life. This took

> energy from the rising current and allowed it to descend.

>

> I spent last winter focusing on my physical martial training. But these

> past few months I have been unable to resist the pull of the path. I stand

> at the doorway in fear. I have no guide. I have read the safeties. I do

> practice most of them. But there were other things I didn't know that appear

> to make plenty of sense and I will incorporate them immediately.

>

> I can feel the path the the current took through me last summer. It is

> becoming more noticeable to me in my daily waking hours. I must pass

> through. But I don't want to be foolish about it either.

>

> What is this sensation of death that came over me? Has anyone died as a

> result of this current rising? Will I go insane? What ever happens doesn't

> really matter since I will cross that threshold at some point whether I'm

> ready or not. I just don't want to go in blind. I would like to be prepared.

>

> I have work to do. And I will only find out what my work is when I cross

> the threshold and take my place. I thought I had conquered my fear. I have

> not. My experience showed me that I'm much weaker than I thought.

>

>

>

 

 

 

--

White Lotus Kundalini Productions

 

WhiteLotusKundalini

 

Our website:

http://adishaktiwhitelotuskundalini.ning.com/

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Ben,

I have had this experience of " dying " in meditation after kundalini yoga and the

playing of the gong.  I went so far out that I did not know that I would be able

to return.  I felt a " letting go " , along with some fear.  But the letting go

overtook the fear.  I knew that if I did die at that exact moment, that was when

it was " my time. "   Obviously, I did not die.  Obviously, I came back to live and

breathe another day.  As far as going crazy, I was, but BEFORE the awakening and

experience of kundalini.  The actuality of it is I might possibly slip back into

all manners of crazy thinking and behaviour if I do not follow the safeties,

practice yoga, and meditation.  A primte example was last week.  Starting a new

job, I was too exhausted to go to class.  I just wanted to come home and sleep. 

I started unraveling like a ball of string.  I forced myself to go to class

tonight, and immediately felt my true nature of peace, hapiness, and bliss

returning.  I cannot speak for you or others, only my experience.  So welcome,

friend.  Please let go of fear and ride the waves.  What is swept away is

immediately replinished with some that will serve you well.

 

Namaste,

 

 

Julie

 

--- On Mon, 8/10/09, shilivan <shilivan wrote:

 

 

shilivan <shilivan

New to the group.

 

Monday, August 10, 2009, 3:26 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I have

read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

 

I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since childhood. I

grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I have a teacher.

There was always something in the teaching offered by many so called guides

which required obedience to something other than the origin of life which is

what I have always considered to be God.

 

I began my true spiritual walk when I started learning Wing Chun kungfu. It

focused on internal peace, focus, and control. This naturally put me on the path

of self contemplation. I began a practice of martial training, prayer, and

meditation.

 

On one occasion I was " listening " inside my body when I felt a bright point at

the top of my head. This was followed by an echo from my root point. As the top

got brighter so did the root. And then at once I felt a current rising. It was

like water with electricity running through it, and covered in fire. It moved up

my spine. I've never felt so alive in my entire life.

 

But then the current got to the base of my head. My eyes were open and I could

see and feel reality slipping away from me. I thought about my wife and my

children and was instantly gripped with fear. I felt death overtaking me and all

I could think of is that I was leaving my family without a father. I realized

that I was not ready for this. I renounced my fear. I could feel the fear making

it worse.

 

So instead I began deep breathing and a rhythmic tensing of my major muscle

groups. I also cast blessings in all directions and to all life. This took

energy from the rising current and allowed it to descend.

 

I spent last winter focusing on my physical martial training. But these past few

months I have been unable to resist the pull of the path. I stand at the doorway

in fear. I have no guide. I have read the safeties. I do practice most of them.

But there were other things I didn't know that appear to make plenty of sense

and I will incorporate them immediately.

 

I can feel the path the the current took through me last summer. It is becoming

more noticeable to me in my daily waking hours. I must pass through. But I don't

want to be foolish about it either.

 

What is this sensation of death that came over me? Has anyone died as a result

of this current rising? Will I go insane? What ever happens doesn't really

matter since I will cross that threshold at some point whether I'm ready or not.

I just don't want to go in blind. I would like to be prepared.

 

I have work to do. And I will only find out what my work is when I cross the

threshold and take my place. I thought I had conquered my fear. I have not. My

experience showed me that I'm much weaker than I thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Julie and Ben,

 

Ben welcome to the group. There are so many great people here that by reading

their stories it will help you. They've all helped me in ways they are not even

aware of and I feel so thankful for everyone here.

And Julie I so love what you wrote here to Ben. The letting go can be a hard

lesson but with that we become lighter and things get so much easier I agree.

Now its easier of course to surrender but also I now feel that in the surrender

no matter what happens its all good for me, I'm being taken care of. So that

attitude change for myself has helped with my surrender and with my experiences.

And yes me too I agree that if its my time I'm okay with that...not so in the

beginning though! ha Loved reading what you wrote Julie as I always do. Much

love to you both!

Deb

 

, Julie <jewelport

wrote:

>

[Guest guest]

hi Ben,

 

wecome to the group

 

and welcome the fears.. they tend to arise when we are strong enough to deal

with them, so perhaps you are stronger than you thought

 

Bruce

 

, " shilivan " <shilivan

wrote:

>

> My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I have

read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

>

> I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since childhood.

I grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I have a

teacher. There was always something in the teaching offered by many so called

guides which required obedience to something other than the origin of life which

is what I have always considered to be God.

>

> I began my true spiritual walk when I started learning Wing Chun kungfu. It

focused on internal peace, focus, and control. This naturally put me on the path

of self contemplation. I began a practice of martial training, prayer, and

meditation.

>

> On one occasion I was " listening " inside my body when I felt a bright point at

the top of my head. This was followed by an echo from my root point. As the top

got brighter so did the root. And then at once I felt a current rising. It was

like water with electricity running through it, and covered in fire. It moved up

my spine. I've never felt so alive in my entire life.

>

> But then the current got to the base of my head. My eyes were open and I could

see and feel reality slipping away from me. I thought about my wife and my

children and was instantly gripped with fear. I felt death overtaking me and all

I could think of is that I was leaving my family without a father. I realized

that I was not ready for this. I renounced my fear. I could feel the fear making

it worse.

>

> So instead I began deep breathing and a rhythmic tensing of my major muscle

groups. I also cast blessings in all directions and to all life. This took

energy from the rising current and allowed it to descend.

>

> I spent last winter focusing on my physical martial training. But these past

few months I have been unable to resist the pull of the path. I stand at the

doorway in fear. I have no guide. I have read the safeties. I do practice most

of them. But there were other things I didn't know that appear to make plenty of

sense and I will incorporate them immediately.

>

> I can feel the path the the current took through me last summer. It is

becoming more noticeable to me in my daily waking hours. I must pass through.

But I don't want to be foolish about it either.

>

> What is this sensation of death that came over me? Has anyone died as a result

of this current rising? Will I go insane? What ever happens doesn't really

matter since I will cross that threshold at some point whether I'm ready or not.

I just don't want to go in blind. I would like to be prepared.

>

> I have work to do. And I will only find out what my work is when I cross the

threshold and take my place. I thought I had conquered my fear. I have not. My

experience showed me that I'm much weaker than I thought.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ben,

 

I had this experience too over eight months, went way out there, and when I

started to come back again I actually had to let myself die.

 

But in fact you're not going to die - it's these thoughts that will die, and you

will realise that they meant nothing.

 

If they turn up now I say to myself 'well, I will die one day, but it won't be

today, and it's not going to be of this.'

 

all the best to you and your journey,

 

 

Amanda

 

 

 

 

, " shilivan " <shilivan

wrote:

>

> My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I have

read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

>

> I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since childhood.

I grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I have a

teacher. There was always something in the teaching offered by many so called

guides which required obedience to something other than the origin of life which

is what I have always considered to be God.

>

> I began my true spiritual walk when I started learning Wing Chun kungfu. It

focused on internal peace, focus, and control. This naturally put me on the path

of self contemplation. I began a practice of martial training, prayer, and

meditation.

>

> On one occasion I was " listening " inside my body when I felt a bright point at

the top of my head. This was followed by an echo from my root point. As the top

got brighter so did the root. And then at once I felt a current rising. It was

like water with electricity running through it, and covered in fire. It moved up

my spine. I've never felt so alive in my entire life.

>

> But then the current got to the base of my head. My eyes were open and I could

see and feel reality slipping away from me. I thought about my wife and my

children and was instantly gripped with fear. I felt death overtaking me and all

I could think of is that I was leaving my family without a father. I realized

that I was not ready for this. I renounced my fear. I could feel the fear making

it worse.

>

> So instead I began deep breathing and a rhythmic tensing of my major muscle

groups. I also cast blessings in all directions and to all life. This took

energy from the rising current and allowed it to descend.

>

> I spent last winter focusing on my physical martial training. But these past

few months I have been unable to resist the pull of the path. I stand at the

doorway in fear. I have no guide. I have read the safeties. I do practice most

of them. But there were other things I didn't know that appear to make plenty of

sense and I will incorporate them immediately.

>

> I can feel the path the the current took through me last summer. It is

becoming more noticeable to me in my daily waking hours. I must pass through.

But I don't want to be foolish about it either.

>

> What is this sensation of death that came over me? Has anyone died as a result

of this current rising? Will I go insane? What ever happens doesn't really

matter since I will cross that threshold at some point whether I'm ready or not.

I just don't want to go in blind. I would like to be prepared.

>

> I have work to do. And I will only find out what my work is when I cross the

threshold and take my place. I thought I had conquered my fear. I have not. My

experience showed me that I'm much weaker than I thought.

>

[Guest guest]

This kind of cool actually. I find myself getting enthusiastic about it. I feel

like the kid who really wants to ride the roller coaster but is too scared to

get on.

 

And you all are like my school friends telling me it's okay to get on and the

ride is great. :-)

 

I find myself really wanting to ride the ride. :-)

 

All of you are so awesome. :-D

 

, " amandatflood "

<amandatflood wrote:

>

> Hi Ben,

>

> I had this experience too over eight months, went way out there, and when I

started to come back again I actually had to let myself die.

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group!

 

I understand what you mean about the feeling of impending death. If I am correct

it is almost universal. When I first awoke, I had the same feeling. My husband

did as well.

 

It has passed and death is no longer a fear of mine.

 

My theory on it is that the ego is preserving itself. It is what creates and

holds you in this reality. This is it's job. When that starts to fall away and

you pass through the threshold, you will face this primal sensation. There is

nothing wrong in it and it is proof that you are on the right path IMHO. As

Chrism says, this path is not for the faint-hearted.

 

This group is a wonderful outlet. Without their loving support and Chrism's

guidance, I would be having a rough awakening. I was as fortunate as you to come

into it's presence. It is like a shining light in the vast darkness.

 

Insanity is also a real fear. I believe most in this group have had the same

fear. Nobody wants to be the raving madman, wandering the streets talking to

invisible faeries, about how their neighbor is a cat hidden in a human disguise.

Nobody wants to be caught watering their mailbox in hopes that a gargoyle pops

out to give them skittles. This is not the case. As a Psychiatrist once told me

when I feared insanity a long time ago, " If you have to ask if you are going

insane, you are not. Crazy people do not know that they are crazy. "

 

Do not worry about being weak. It is in your strength that you wish to keep

moving forward. If it wasn't a challenge, everyone could do it. It would be a

part of nature. Simple, absolute in this reality.

 

You are in a great group and welcome!!! Blessings for you in your awakening.

 

-Tiffany S

 

 

 

, " shilivan " <shilivan

wrote:

>

> My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I have

read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

>

> I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since childhood.

I grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I have a

teacher. There was always something in the teaching offered by many so called

guides which required obedience to something other than the origin of life which

is what I have always

[Guest guest]

Hi Ben,

Welcome to the group! I've been lurking lately, this is my first post in a long

time. I felt compelled to write to you because I have " died " before. That's

weird even typing that.

My whole body went numb and I felt this light sensation leave my body up through

my head. It was like a piece of my soul left perhaps. The next 8 or so days

afterwards were very hard for me, at one time I felt all of the negative

emotions in my life come over me and the feeling was in the pit of my stomach.

I freaked out and thought it was the end of the world. I had no idea what

Kundalini or anything was at the time, so reality was wiped away for me. I'm

now on chemical restaints, but now that I have done some research and found this

group, I know I'm not crazy and I look forward to going on the ride again...with

a different frame of mind this time.

 

I'm glad you found this group and you will find alot of knowledgable people here

to help you on your journey. It seems you know alot now and all you need is to

take your steps towards your goal in the right timing. Good luck to you!

 

Laura

 

, " shilivan " <shilivan

wrote:

>

> My name is Ben. I was invited to join the group today. And the postings I have

read give me hope that I have arrived at the right place.

>

> I have been compelled from within to seek the spiritual path since childhood.

I grew up around spiritual workers good and evil. But never did I have a

teacher. There was always something in the teaching offered by many so called

guides which required obedience to something other than the origin of life which

is what I have always considered to be God.

>

> I began my true spiritual walk when I started learning Wing Chun kungfu. It

focused on internal peace, focus, and control. This naturally put me on the path

of self contemplation. I began a practice of martial training, prayer, and

meditation.

>

> On one occasion I was " listening " inside my body when I felt a bright point at

the top of my head. This was followed by an echo from my root point. As the top

got brighter so did the root. And then at once I felt a current rising. It was

like water with electricity running through it, and covered in fire. It moved up

my spine. I've never felt so alive in my entire life.

>

> But then the current got to the base of my head. My eyes were open and I could

see and feel reality slipping away from me. I thought about my wife and my

children and was instantly gripped with fear. I felt death overtaking me and all

I could think of is that I was leaving my family without a father. I realized

that I was not ready for this. I renounced my fear. I could feel the fear making

it worse.

>

> So instead I began deep breathing and a rhythmic tensing of my major muscle

groups. I also cast blessings in all directions and to all life. This took

energy from the rising current and allowed it to descend.

>

> I spent last winter focusing on my physical martial training. But these past

few months I have been unable to resist the pull of the path. I stand at the

doorway in fear. I have no guide. I have read the safeties. I do practice most

of them. But there were other things I didn't know that appear to make plenty of

sense and I will incorporate them immediately.

>

> I can feel the path the the current took through me last summer. It is

becoming more noticeable to me in my daily waking hours. I must pass through.

But I don't want to be foolish about it either.

>

> What is this sensation of death that came over me? Has anyone died as a result

of this current rising? Will I go insane? What ever happens doesn't really

matter since I will cross that threshold at some point whether I'm ready or not.

I just don't want to go in blind. I would like to be prepared.

>

> I have work to do. And I will only find out what my work is when I cross the

threshold and take my place. I thought I had conquered my fear. I have not. My

experience showed me that I'm much weaker than I thought.

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Ben, nice to read of your awakening, many go through the fear , the fear

of death, of losing oneself, fear of letting the family down is a big one for

Men in particular as they are seen as the " providers " .

 

Glad you found your way to us, blessings elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Now I'm really motivated to get back to that place.

 

You all make it sound so awesome!!! Now I can't wait!!! lol

 

I read somewhere a long time ago, that there was an Indian king that had

obtained enlightenment even while living amongst the people and dealing with

daily issues.

 

I have six children and two of them are under three. Any advice for some one who

meditates opportunistically? I find I'm kicking myself now for not having gone

for it the first time. Considering it was basically a miracle that it happened

to me at all.

 

, Elektra Fire

<elektra.fire wrote:

>

> Welcome Ben, nice to read of your awakening, many go through the fear , the

fear of death, of losing oneself, fear of letting the family down is a big one

for Men in particular as they are seen as the " providers " .

[Guest guest]

I am a true believer in enlightenment while being a part of normal society,

whats the point otherwise? We cannot all go and live in a mountain or become a

hermit, there has to be another way. A way of walking amongst. Yes, at times we

all need some alone time but also its great to be able to have a family and

friends and socialise.

 

I believe Shakti Kundalini is intelligent and will work with you if you

surrender to her. Take what moment you can, wake up at 3AM in the morning for a

quick meditation in  peace and quiet, find your moment of peace.

 

I have found children can be quite eager to try meditation also, I sat my 5 year

old god daughter down (who is usually hyper energetic) and got her to meditate

with me, she loved doing what her favourite " auntie " was doing, she saw it as a

game. When I asked her what she saw when she closed her eyes and went inward she

told me " I saw the Sun " . WOW I thought, she has already " got it " . Try it with

yours sometime if you havent already.

 

Blessings and love elektra x x x