Guest guest Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 yes, yes, it was so, and the wonderful thing is that it is lasting too... I find I am acting from a more and more centered space, at least in this specific issue.. letting go of this deep deep fear of mine is allowing me so much freedom, I am realizing more and more how I have suffocated my wings all these years, not major things, small unperceptible and perfectly justifiable by th emind. oh, I am ever so grateful to all of you.. your teachings are priceless, the example you set for me, allowing me to let go. --- Ven 4/9/09, purple_firefly111 <purple_firefly111 ha scritto: Da: purple_firefly111 <purple_firefly111 Oggetto: Re: meeting your emotional pain as an energy. A: Data: Venerdì 4 settembre 2009, 15:28 loved this lari.lu.... you found your soul song in the energy behind your pain , the cough being the purge and the release. you can use your soul song in so many places for fear , anxiety, addiction, attatchment. .it breaks the webs of maya and allows spirit to flow. to get to your inner voice, it's like when you demolish a brick wall (sorry for the building analogy!) first it's difficult , the bricks are packed tight and you can't get in , but you dig. Then you look for strategic bricks, and release them. as you labour you then find it gets easier and the wall can't support itself anymore and crashes. relationships too become infinately stronger when we live them without attatchment. At first we go through thoughts of thinking that we are performing an act of treason to think this way.The opposite is true, we are faithful but the dynamics have changed for both of us and the love deepened. so ,it get's easier.. purple Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " lari.lu " <lari.lu > wrote: > > purple, that's so true... thank you. > > these posts have been so useful these last few days.. I've been having a good deal of rollercoasting emotions this week, for various reasons.. > all rotating around trust in myself and my inner worth.. > > and one of the issues I was called to face yet again, was fear.. it always seems to came back down to that.. projecting in to the future. > I realized I must find my independence and my voice.. not necessarely my phisical voice.. my personal inner voice, that doesent need words to speak. > > last night I did just that, " be " my pain, be it on my own and for myself.... my bf is in a bad place these last months, it's really hard, for him to blend the k and the " normal life " , school work.. everything. I mean real hard. and it seems it's always worsening.. > and things have been real hard for me too because of this... > > but I feel it's so very useful, for me, at this time... I am learning so very much from it.. I saw yesterday that I had and probably still have an " addiction " . .. I was dependant on my well being within the relationship for my general well being. > > this is very depleating, conditioning, and generally not good. > it limits me in my actions, because of fear of what will happen, because of attachments to what will happen... It' so so much better then it used to be, but it's still there, and ti still rears it's head now and then... > > this situation is pushing my limits, pushing me to discover more of myself and teaching me to walk on my own legs. so it turns out I am grateful of it, deep down. > > yesterday was one of those days... I was real depressed because of it, scared.. hurt.. well, I went for a drive, all alone.. and cried and cried.. and then I started seeign my thoughts, but I dident try to repress them, shoo them off... I just cried.. and then I started singing, in my usual disarticulate noisy way, and oh, that had me sobbing but it also allowed me to cry without thinking, it broke the chain of negative thoughts in a way that was not repressive or forceful. > after a while of that, well, I just had a sort of strange cough, real strong, almost suffocating. ..it was as if I were coughing out some thickness, not phisical but there nonetheless. . now that I think of it I've dremt of doing that same thing before, same sensation. > > and i was done!!! I went home, still sticky from the tears, but obviously I had cried it out for the time being... my thoat was loose and relaxed (I get a terrible tightness in the troat at those times, or any time I am in fear or worry). > > just sharing with all you my wise inspirational guides.. it's because of you all and your firm positive down to earthness and wisdom that I can trust myself and find that inner wisdom and inner grounding, from where I hope one day to learn to choose and act, free of fears of future and consequenses. ... more and more.. > much love and gratitude to all of you, there is still so much to do in here > > lucia > > > > Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " purple_firefly111 " <purple_firefly111@ > wrote: > > > > there is a certain intimacy needed to meet your pain as an energy.our > > natural instinct with pain is to avoid it , resist it. > > but what if we consciously met our emotional pain as an energy..and then > > mearged with it?... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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