checking-in

[Guest guest]

I went to visit my family last weekend. I've returned home very tired, heavy

hearted even though I had fun there. I've given these feelings space, taken

walks, prayed and meditated and I have a deep grief going on, my heart aches and

I've been crying a lot. I think my heart chakra has been cracking opening. I

see it in small ways with other people, not in my work so much as in my day to

day life, just wanting to be more thoughtful. My father called today and asked

if I might go to Colorado with him to visit my aunt and uncle (my mom's sister

and husband), one of whom is not doing well. My father never asks for much. I

have grown much closer to my father in the past year and realize my time with

him on this planet is limited. I'm considering making the space to do this with

him. I had hardened my heart for protection years ago when his unhappiness

caused him to act with passive-aggressiveness but now I don't feel the need to

protect myself so much, and particularly not with him.

Just felt the need to connect with the group and say where I am. Have felt a

lot of aloneness and at times, loneliness since coming back from my family

visit.

Love and blessings,

Jan

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

 

Bless u love, seems like a very emotional time for you, having the heart opening

and releasing stuff can be very heavy. I think its wonderful that you are

surrendering and allowing the feelings to surface and really letting yourself

feel them. Its great that your making peace with your Father again. Our time on

Earth is precious and people are precious also.

 

Keeping you in my thoughts, and prayers, love elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

thanks dear Elektra,

yes, emotional times but feel cleared out today. I woke to a foggy day and it

cleared as I took a long walk with a friend along the river. Really working on

surrender and not getting stuck in content, just releasing it. I've been

carrying around this heart stuff for a long time.

Love and blessings to you,

jan

, Elektra Fire

<elektra.fire wrote:

>

> Dear Jan,

>

> Bless u love, seems like a very emotional time for you, having the heart

opening and releasing stuff can be very heavy. I think its wonderful that you

are surrendering and allowing the feelings to surface and really letting

yourself feel them. Its great that your making peace with your Father again. Our

time on Earth is precious and people are precious also.

>

> Keeping you in my thoughts, and prayers, love elektra x x x

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good indications Jan. Yes some openings will require a rupture of some scar

tissue but that will be healed as the new expression enters into it. Go with

your father and honor him and honor yourself. We never truly leave each other

though death gives the appearance of separation.

 

Your opening is giving you the strength and the balance you need to bring your

love into the greater expression. Wishing you the best! - love for you and

father. - chrism

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

>

> I went to visit my family last weekend.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan, I had a son-father weekend this past weekend and all my balancing

and emotional

stillness completely collapsed. I was filled with rage, even though I kept

most of it inside. I wasn't mostly angry at my dad, cause I know you cant

change

him and he will always hate/despise/regret everything I am, but I was mostly

angry

at how fragile my emotions are. I was aware of the vicious thought circles

my mind

was running around in, and tried to balance emotionally but couldn't do it

until he left.

It was a little depressing to see, that even though my path so far has been

a very

short one, I can still get enraged to this level and my mind is still a wild

monkey!

Good thing is that after he left i rebalanced a lot quicker than I would

before my

path started.

So dont/stress/feel guilty too much about family issues. Sometimes you can

realize

that you are becoming negative because of someone else you are around with

that is

negative.

Stay strong and and keep the monkey mind on a leash.

 

Much love

Mike

 

 

 

On Sun, Sep 6, 2009 at 10:49 AM, yogijan <drjandean wrote:

 

>

>

> I went to visit my family last weekend. I've returned home very tired,

> heavy hearted even though I had fun there. I've given these feelings space,

> taken walks, prayed and meditated and I have a deep grief going on, my heart

> aches and I've been crying a lot. I think my heart chakra has been cracking

> opening. I see it in small ways with other people, not in my work so much as

> in my day to day life, just wanting to be more thoughtful. My father called

> today and asked if I might go to Colorado with him to visit my aunt and

> uncle (my mom's sister and husband), one of whom is not doing well. My

> father never asks for much. I have grown much closer to my father in the

> past year and realize my time with him on this planet is limited. I'm

> considering making the space to do this with him. I had hardened my heart

> for protection years ago when his unhappiness caused him to act with

> passive-aggressiveness but now I don't feel the need to protect myself so

> much, and particularly not with him.

> Just felt the need to connect with the group and say where I am. Have felt

> a lot of aloneness and at times, loneliness since coming back from my family

> visit.

> Love and blessings,

> Jan

>

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

love,

Jan

, " "

<> wrote:

>

> Good indications Jan.