Autumnal Equinox Shaktipat 2009& All

September 9, 2009

Chrism and All-

I've had my question answered via Linda's talking bear and such, hence I need to

retract my request to participate in the autumnal equinox shaktipat. Why does

that feel like the hardest thing to do? Does that mean I'm turning my back? If

so, this isn't what I'm wishing. I am experiencing concerns today as autumn's

pull is highly intense and you were not " joking " when you described some of the

emotional pain I would be experiencing. I feel very caught between three worlds

today. My heart is shattering and my current environment of being amongst 700

others of the Four Nations has me in an emotional state. It's truly difficult to

plan on my dedication to the practices within shaktipat in a weeks' time when my

current enviroment places me in the present more-so than I have ever been able

to experience before. I think your words to me were frailing. -Confused and

frailing.

Love:

Danielle

September 9, 2009

Dear Danielle,

I hear you saying that you are in a place where you can not give the dedication

you wish to give to your practice during the Shakipat. I can hear the pain

withiin, of you not being able to do this. The conflict of wanting to

participate in the Shaktipat but believing it might not be the correct thing to

do just now, is definitly not about turnign your back. In my humble opinion it

is about wanting to be authentic and present to the gift that is being offered.

For what it is worth I struggle quite a lot with the " real " world too.... the

ache that is in my heart begs me to go where I can be alone and not bombarded

with " stuff "

Stuff that impeeds and impinges.... Stuff I could do with out... stuff that

takes up my time when I want to be meditating ....

Danielle I have not been able to integrate k and truth enough to live with it

in the everyday life on a consistant basis....

When I am in that place where I am stuck in my enviornment I actually withdraw a

bit from my K practices because, at this early stage of my path, to continue the

level of practices and devotion would then create negative effects in the lives

of others.... because basically I would need to up and leave !!

BUT Danielle, K knows this struggle and conflict and stays present and

patient and quietly lets me know she is here.

Time passes, the " enviornment " changes and I can return again and be more aware

of being in Kundalini and living in that way more fully.

Although I " withdraw " " turn my back " or whatever, K knows that I practice in so

far as I am able at that time and place. I am always in communication of some

sort and somehow at those times..... time sort of collapses and a short moment

with k is all that is needed.

Mush love and blessing being sent to you. Julia.

________________________________

iamwaitingmoon <iamwaitingmoon

Wednesday, September 9, 2009 2:02:17 PM

Re: Autumnal Equinox Shaktipat 2009-

Chrism & All