Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Thank you for including me in the Autumnal Shaktipat. I am so completeley grateful to everyone. I do have a question about trust and need some help. I'm having a difficult time with my primary relationship. He is a heavy drinker in denial and is very irresponsable with himself, his health and at home. I find it very difficult to trust him in many, many ways. One minute he is up and then the next he's down. The kids and I never know which person we are going to be dealing with at any given moment. I feel like I have to protect my kids. I'm at the point where I do a lot of " stuff " to keep us from being left in a situation. I do feel like I'm getting stronger and I've spoken up about the drinking/driving to him. Also, recently I've stood my ground in an argument when I use to just back down and walk away. At the time it felt right, but I could have gotten hurt seriously. He lost control of himself and lashed out. Has anyone had this experience before? I'm wondering what I'm coming throung at this time and how the K is related to this experience. Is this part of the healing process to go through this stuff? I would love to hear your advice. Love Tanya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Hi Tanya, I'm wondering who or which group is near you that can be of support to you as you leave this dangerous situation. You set boundaries now and the children will learn to set them too. What you do your children will learn how to do... The person using alcohol or a substance will let you talk now and then without experiencing the need to change... he may have wondered why he hadn't been confronted - so getting some argument or challenge is just " normal " but it doesn't go to the level that you or anyone in a similar situation might believe. Your children don't want to see you get hurt and how frightening would that be - You are their protection. My heart goes out to you and your darling children. Strength, focus followed with action. I did grow up in a home where there was the threat of violence and even deadly violence... extremely painful to children who are worried about everyone else in the house. A man in his late 30s recently shared with me about the time his own father punched his mother in the face and then she began slapping her son for not protecting her. Crying why didn't you protect me. He wasn't even 14 yrs old at the time. To this day that pain runs so far deep in him. His sharing that story gives me reason to write a few words. The K is not creating this... the ego draws up the pain we live in til we change. The K will empower you if you trust. love, Anna t_s_wallace Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:53:55 +0000 Help w Trust - Tanya Thank you for including me in the Autumnal Shaktipat. I am so completeley grateful to everyone. I do have a question about trust and need some help. I'm having a difficult time with my primary relationship. He is a heavy drinker in denial and is very irresponsable with himself, his health and at home. I find it very difficult to trust him in many, many ways. One minute he is up and then the next he's down. The kids and I never know which person we are going to be dealing with at any given moment. I feel like I have to protect my kids. I'm at the point where I do a lot of " stuff " to keep us from being left in a situation. I do feel like I'm getting stronger and I've spoken up about the drinking/driving to him. Also, recently I've stood my ground in an argument when I use to just back down and walk away. At the time it felt right, but I could have gotten hurt seriously. He lost control of himself and lashed out. Has anyone had this experience before? I'm wondering what I'm coming throung at this time and how the K is related to this experience. Is this part of the healing process to go through this stuff? I would love to hear your advice. Love Tanya _______________ Bing brings you health info from trusted sources. http://www.bing.com/search?q=pet+allergy & form=MHEINA & publ=WLHMTAG & crea=TXT_MHEIN\ A_Health_Health_PetAllergy_1x1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Hey Tanya, You might consider finding some local Al-anon meetings around town. they have this saying the three Cs, You didn't Cause it, you can't Control it, and you can't Cure it. Al-anon can be very helpful to those who are affected by or around alcoholism. glad you're here. Love, Jan , " tmgr2008 " <t_s_wallace wrote: > > Thank you for including me in the Autumnal Shaktipat. I am so completeley grateful to everyone. > > I do have a question about trust and need some help. I'm having a difficult time with my primary relationship. He is a heavy drinker in denial and is very irresponsable with himself, his health and at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Dear Tanya, I feel for your situation love, it can be so difficult dealing with people you care about but who have a dark side , a shadow lurking. Just how far should we bend? How much can we help? Should we stay with them? Should we abandon them? So many questions and everyone can give advice but at the end of the day you have to feel what your heart tells you and follow it. I don't think K wants to put you in danger in any way , or your children, things are here to teach us but sometimes its to teach us to do whats best for ourselves and children. Wishing you many blessings and love elektra x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Hi Tanya, I request you to take him to a doctor.He can be cured.I have gone through this.I know all the excuses an addict makes to have his drink and tantrums he creates. Earlier you consult a doctor, faster will be the recovery.I have taken treatment from psychiatrist,for long time when I was an alcoholic.My doctor stays in US presently.His name is Dr.Vinod Chaugule.You can find his email and consult him.You may consult doctor of your choice if you know one............shrikant ________________________________ tmgr2008 <t_s_wallace Monday, 14 September, 2009 6:23:55 PM Help w Trust - Tanya Thank you for including me in the Autumnal Shaktipat. I am so completeley grateful to everyone. I do have a question about trust and need some help. I'm having a difficult time with my primary relationship. He is a heavy drinker in denial and is very irresponsable with himself, his health and at home. I find it very difficult to trust him in many, many ways. One minute he is up and then the next he's down. The kids and I never know which person we are going to be dealing with at any given moment. I feel like I have to protect my kids. I'm at the point where I do a lot of " stuff " to keep us from being left in a situation. I do feel like I'm getting stronger and I've spoken up about the drinking/driving to him. Also, recently I've stood my ground in an argument when I use to just back down and walk away. At the time it felt right, but I could have gotten hurt seriously. He lost control of himself and lashed out. Has anyone had this experience before? I'm wondering what I'm coming throung at this time and how the K is related to this experience. Is this part of the healing process to go through this stuff? I would love to hear your advice. Love Tanya See the Web & #39;s breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Buzz. http://in.buzz./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Hi Tanya, You are in a very difficult situation. The only experience I have is of friends and family experiencing much pain in similiar situations. One of my firends had a partner who was a drinker and also violent... I would say without hesitation that if your partner is violent to you then you need to find a safe and secure place to live and to bring up your children, away form such behaviors. In my limited knowledge violent people can use their drinking and alcohol abuse as the excuse and say and believe that alcohol caused their violent behaviour to occur. I don't believe this to be true....Violent behaviour is usually about controlling the other person. There are also many forms of violence, not just physical. You probably know this anyway but the main thing to remember is that his behaviour is not your fault.... even if you hear a lot that you have provoked it. You asked " is this part of the healing process to go through this stuff? " I don't think so. I am sure others will be able to offer you the advice you are looking for. I will pray that you find resolutiion to your painful situation and that it resolves in a safe and secure way for you and for your children. I will pray that you will get the support you need for this to happen. Love Julia. ________________________________ tmgr2008 <t_s_wallace Monday, September 14, 2009 1:53:55 PM Help w Trust - Tanya Thank you for including me in the Autumnal Shaktipat. I am so completeley grateful to everyone. I do have a question about trust and need some help. I'm having a difficult time with my primary relationship. He is a heavy drinker in denial and is very irresponsable with ...... Is this part of the healing process to go through this stuff? I would love to hear your advice. Love Tanya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Yes actually the Kundalini can be helping you to begin to stand on your own without the reliance on a marital relationship. Trust these intuitive feelings. In many situations with the Kundalini there are multiple folds of education being given and in this situation Tanya you are being given the opportunity to suffer and to learn from that suffering to embrace change. Through suffering one can begin to feel the need to detach from the point or source of the suffering. This can spur a person into action. It also gives us the strength in the knowledge that we are strong and can endure years of abuse. Conversely how many years of joy can we also attain through the release of these years of suffering? If we stay is there joy? If we leave is there love? Where is the point of release for you dear Tanya? How are your children bonding with their fathers behaviors? Is he what they become in later years? Is alcohol their answer to problems as well? Is this the future for them? Where is the " trust " they have in their parents to protect them? Some questions for you being the " sole responsible party " to consider. Not saying love is not present but something is amiss with the relationship. Amiss to the point of severe imbalance in the relationship. All eyes in your house incarnate and discarnate are on the two of you. Kundalini Shakti eyes are focused on you and your children. Husband has made his choice for the time being. Yes? Kundalini will often bring severe clarity into our lives in order to bring about the seeds of change within us. You are able to cope at this time Tanya yet is that how you wish to spend the rest of your life? Is this the example you wish to teach children? He doesn't seem to be getting better or does he? And he may eventually slide down further into the depths of severe physical and emotional abuse of yourself and your children. Is this scenario a possibility? I will suggest that Kundalini is now giving you a warning to begin to make your separations. Find another way of surviving with your kids by your side away from husband. Far away as he may pursue you. Reclaim your ability to be on your own. It is there within you and the Shakti will also help you in this way. TRUST this. Money will come. Jobs will appear. People will be met that will help you and children. This is a challenging situation to be sure. I apologize if my words are not soft and fluffy. I do have compassion for you and your children and your husband. Through this compassion am I recognizing and being given certain information for you Tanya. Please take no offense as none is being intended. These are difficult and yet very important times in the life of a family. Sometimes one parent must choose the better way for the security and safety of themselves and the children. This task has come to you dear Tanya. I sympathize and congratulate you for this opportunity that is yours to have. Not doing anything and merely continuing to cope presents more of a challenge and more of a damaging example to yourself and your kids. This can be assured. I offer this to you dear Tanya as an invitation to embrace change in your current situation. An invitation to become true to yourself, your children, and your husband. When he is alone a greater clarity may come to him he may seek treatment or he may slide further down. Either way these choices need not become part of yours or your children's personal life trauma any more than is already occurring. No he did not start out this way when you were married and what " was " isn't really the point anymore. " What is " is now the point and from that perspective I will suggest that you follow that which is giving you the reason to even write your Kundalini community! Your Kundalini is calling to you dear Tanya! " Trust " that inner source and pick up the Kundalini phone. Have that inner conversation. - blessings and balance for you! - chrism , " tmgr2008 " <t_s_wallace wrote: > I do have a question about trust and need some help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Thank you and my K family for all your advice. I will keep you posted. Love and Light Tanya , " " <> wrote: > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 It can be a tough jump for anyone Tanya. Sometimes our complacency and fear can hold us captive. Kundalini is with you. Please remember this and please pay attention to your dreams at this time. Journal them as much as you can and do not relegate them to the realms of fantasy even if they are strange as it is in these areas that we receive some of the most blessed information. Change is your friend in this scenario I feel Tanya. Your kids will remain with you. I invite you to digest this for a time. Wrap your mind and emotions and feelings around this scenario and open to what the Kundalini is communicating to you about this. I see " blue ridges " for you! - lol! - chrism , " tmgr2008 " <t_s_wallace wrote: > > Thank you and my K family for all your advice. I will keep you posted. > > Love and Light > Tanya > > , " " <@> wrote: > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 You are strong, and in our thoughts dear sister, blessings to you in your choices and actions x x x much love elektra x x x Thank you and my K family for all your advice. I will keep you posted. Love and Light Tanya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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