Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Last night I watched the movie " Incendiary " and wow, this movie has had me crying off and on for almost day so far, I even woke up at 5 o'clock and began weeping. Everytime my mind plays a scene from the movie, I start crying. I've realized this is the answer I've been asking for, the emotion that I've been hiding from all my life. It's breaking my heart and I realize that this emotion has been with me at least since when I was 5 and my mom and dad told me and my brothers to stay put because they had to use the bathroom and came out 2 hours later and were divorced. I haven't been able to remember feeling anything from this when I was that age but I think this movie has brought forth the emotion I felt, the emptiness, the loneliness, the ripping apart of a family, the pain, the seemingly bottomless pit of sorrow, my heart crushed. I was basically on my own from this moment onward, my family ripped apart, my heart shredded. I haven't recovered from this yet but now it's coming to the surface so that I can mend the pieces back together with my compassionate attention, but by god it's so painful. And everytime I see that woman from the movie and the emptiness and loneliness I feel, I begin to cry and I feel that ripping feeling in my heart again... craig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 wow, dear craig, good work! sounds like you're having some major old stuff surface and release! Love to you, Jan , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Last night I watched the movie " Incendiary " and wow, this movie has had me crying off and on for almost day so far, I even woke up at 5 o'clock and began weeping. Everytime my mind plays a scene from the movie, I start crying. I've realized this is the answer I've been asking for, the emotion that I've been hiding from all my life. It's breaking my heart and I realize that this emotion has been with me at Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 That's very much the way I've been feeling last night and a little bit milder this evening. But I don't have any idea where it comes from. Maybe separation from God? Just like Elektra said, something strange is in the air. How great for you! You are going to feel so good after you purge that crap from your system Just purged mine for tonight and now I'm shaking and giggling. Cant really call myself sane anymore. Tomorrow evening I'll probably be down again, but atleast now I know the drill. Anything is better than boring mundane life! Loving giggles, Aarni , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Last night I watched the movie " Incendiary " and wow, this movie has had me crying off and on for almost day so far, I even woke up at 5 o'clock and began weeping. Everytime my mind plays a scene from the movie, I start crying. I've realized this is the answer I've been asking for, the emotion that I've been hiding from all my life. It's breaking my heart and I realize that this emotion has been with me at least since when I was 5 and my mom and dad told me and my brothers to stay put because they had to use the bathroom and came out 2 hours later and were divorced. I haven't been able to remember feeling anything from this when I was that age but I think this movie has brought forth the emotion I felt, the emptiness, the loneliness, the ripping apart of a family, the pain, the seemingly bottomless pit of sorrow, my heart crushed. I was basically on my own from this moment onward, my family ripped apart, my heart shredded. I haven't recovered from this yet but now it's coming to the surface so that I can mend the pieces back together with my compassionate attention, but by god it's so painful. And everytime I see that woman from the movie and the emptiness and loneliness I feel, I begin to cry and I feel that ripping feeling in my heart again... > > craig > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Permit yourself this experience, Craig. Permit the ripping, and shattering and splintering of the breaking of your heart wide open. Let your heart empty and become full. Experience the rawness of this fully as difficult a thing this is to do. Shakti/Divine will comfort you though maybe not in an easily recognized nor familiar way at the moment. Love to you. -Danielle , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Last night I watched the movie " Incendiary " and wow, this movie has had me crying off and on for almost day so far, I even woke up at 5... > > craig > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Craig I just want to reach out and say I know exactly where you are coming from. At some earlier point in my life, early teens, I shut myself off from emotional attachment and feelings that I didnt feel comfortable with. Resulting in what my family and friends have describes as being an emotional void. I didnt cry if someone died, I didnt feel anything if someone close to me was upset. When my wife cried I found it hard to offer support, I just felt detached. When that barrier came down, I found I got very upset over a lot of things, more so than other people. Things on TV, books, other peoples situations. Ive reasoned that its me catching up with what Ive missed out on. If you havent done something for a long time you dont have that experience to draw on, that ability to find a level ground. So things are unusually upsetting, or so I found. I prefer it like this, I prefer feeling something as oppose to nothing. Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Exactly what I'm feeling Andy, I " m catching up. I've been an emotional void for a long time and even though it's really painful, I'm grateful to be surrendered enough to let this happen. I prefer it like this too craig , " Andrew " <andyrpreston wrote: > > Craig I just want to reach out and say I know exactly where you are coming from. > > At some earlier point in my life, early teens, I shut myself off from emotional attachment and feelings that I didnt feel comfortable with. Resulting in what my family and friends have describes as being an emotional void. I didnt cry if someone died, I didnt feel anything if someone close to me was upset. When my wife cried I found it hard to offer support, I just felt detached. > > When that barrier came down, I found I got very upset over a lot of things, more so than other people. Things on TV, books, other peoples situations. Ive reasoned that its me catching up with what Ive missed out on. If you havent done something for a long time you dont have that experience to draw on, that ability to find a level ground. So things are unusually upsetting, or so I found. > > I prefer it like this, I prefer feeling something as oppose to nothing. > > Andy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 thanks all for your love and support. It feels like I'm in the eye of this hurricane right now and I'm ok with whatever happens. love to you all craig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 15, 2009 Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 Thats really amazing, a movie helped you so deeply to touch upon a lost buried part of your emotional body. Blessings to you Craig as you spread those firey wings and soar ever upward x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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