Having a backbone

October 21, 2009

SO my latest lesson has had to do with having a backbone and saying exactly what

I need to say to people. Normally I don't like conflict in my life etc, but I

have been forced to face my fear of upsetting people and having a damned

backbone lol.

It started a few days ago. A typical pompous individual who likes control. He is

a nice enough guy but I finally hit my point of enough is enough. I quit mincing

words and stated exactly how I felt. This individual did the typical turn the

table game, but I had none of it.

I have had a no bs approach these days with people. I no longer have a concern

for their feelings over mine. I am actually quite shocked because I never even

knew I had this problem. But alas, I look at my life and I am the typical " nice "

person. A little too nice in fact.

It has led to problems with resentment. I would get to the point of holding too

much in and " flipping out " one day. Nobody would know where it came from or that

I was slowly letting actions and words get to me.

When I first got this way a few days ago I thought to myself, " you're being such

a b**ch! " But then I realized, no, Im simply not used to being so forthright.

Now, I wont go around blabbing to people and nitpicking every little comment or

anything, but I will definitely step up even in the most awkward of moments. I

now deal with a$$holes by simply responding in the same way they respond. With

humor and biting pure honesty. You know, in a " lighten up or youre gonna have a

heart attack " kind of way.

Anyways just an update. Sorry I haven't been so active in the forums these days

but my email box just blows up when I check it every 2 days and I feel like I am

in a tidal wave haha. I have no idea where to start!

If you can please set my settings to daily digest for the k-awakening systems

group it would be much appreciated. I tried to do it through a month ago

and it hasnt changed. Oy.

-Tiffany S

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