whirlpool

[Guest guest]

Hi and everyone....   A recent x ray showed that there is infection still

present behind the tooth i had the recent absess on and I have to get a root

canal re done when I get home after this holiday. I can feel   the infection 

starting  to act up and the swelling or Abcess is starting to grow again.  I am

also having physical " difficulties " in the pelvic area... I have always felt

that the pelvis and the mouth are connected ....???  can I do anything

about the infection in my tooth.. although there is a physical reason present

for the infection and my overbite contributes also... I feel that K has

something to with it also but I could be wrong....  sometimes my when my tongue

is in the lock position there is a huge pulsating and heat in this area. 

 

Also I am struggling with writing abouot my spiritual journey...not so much with

the writing of it  but with the unease that it brings up. it is like I am in a

place of unknowing and I am feeling quite low about that......  I had come to

accept that I don't understand a lot of things about God and that was ok.  Now I

am cross that I understand nothing...it seems like everyone else is getting

it... I know that we all come from different traditions and from none but why do

I have to struggle all the time...I am fed up with it AAaah!  And if anyone

suggests surrender I will probably go AAAAAHHHHH even more.  I have always

struggled with spiritual things and honestly I have been through a lot with this

K and survived it ..... ever before I knew that  K even existed or before I came

here. 

I thought I had " moved on " that no matter what happened I now had a peace and

love present that would sustain me even in tough times....but this is not how it

is turning out.... I am still stuck in the  whirlpool of traditions and facts

that I was born into....  the thing is that there are just as many whirlpools of

tradition and facts associated with kundalini or any other spiritual journey. 

When people speak with certainity It is because they have come to accept the

truth of what they have been taught or the truth of what they have experienced

.....

It seems to me now at this moment that it is a matter of faith... faith in some

tradition or faith in none... it takes faith to avoid the constant going around

in circles in this whirlpool and I do not have faith in anything.  I was taught

that faith is a gift that is given... it can not be earned.   I was not given

the gift of faith and so I think i am destined to be stuck on the whirlpool for

ever and ever.  I have experienced bliss that is so sweet nothing else is

needed.... extacy that is so huge and encompasiing that nothing else can exist

with it.... abandonment and aloneness that words are difficult to describe....

physical experiences that are from the twilight zone.... and here I am now stuck

in a whirlpool with no faith and no connection,,, k is still active but so

what... after everything I have been through so far I still can " fall back " or

get stuck on this whrilpool...  I just don't get it...    Has everything so far

been one

huge illusion... what is real and what is not....

i am laughing at myself here because I can actually surrender to that.... to the

not knowing ... to the illusion... to the shirlpool .... but I am sick of it...

when do I come to know that I know and that no matter what happens that knowing

will remain.... thing is i know that i know it is just that \I also know I have

no knowing and I find that conflict hard to contain.... i guess that is all

really.rambeling over and sending e mail anyway.. although not sure I should

subject you all to it!!!

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Julia-

I think you just wrote your " essay " dear, beautiful one. Look how powerful,

complex and simple is this knowing. Look at all of those answers peeking and

peering at you between the words and lines.

 

My comments help you not while you swirl in this seemingly whirlpool, but

wow-how touching and incredible this is to read on my end. So thank you.

 

Love:

Danielle

 

 

 

, Julia Ahern <jajahern

wrote:

>

 

Now I am cross that I understand nothing...it seems like everyone else is

getting it... And if anyone suggests surrender I will probably go AAAAAHHHHH

even more.  rambeling over and sending e mail anyway.. although not sure I

should subject you all to it!!!

>

[Guest guest]

You are not alone in your whirlpool- the questioning is there for me also - and

the confusion and the knowing I know yet do not know--give me a break I say - I

keep telling Shakti that I can not read signs I need a direct hit of words or a

note maybe or a phone call yes that would be nice call me and tell me what I am

to do ---

 

It is frustrating seeing others have it all together yet - you are together for

where you are now - " all is as it should be at this moment " a good friend and

student of chrism's repeats this to me often -

 

" All is as it should be at this moment "

 

So sink into the whirlpool and relish every drop of the swirling water

wash away the feelings of uncertainty and the longing to know more - you have

and you know what you need at this moment -

 

sorry about the tooth - had a root canal - and your other problems - had never

thought of my mouth and nether areas as related interesting concept - pain in

either is not fun - are you on the healing site Julia?? Do get on it now - we

are a powerful group of healing energy ...

 

Love to you sending prayers your way...

e

[Guest guest]

Keep your tongue up and allow yourself to feel as you are given to feel.

Kundalini and its gifts are not faith based in their sensations upon the body.

They are real tactile and present in a persons life as I have come to experience

it.

 

Faith for me is as a trust in something or some state that hasnt come yet or is

as yet unattainable or out of our range senses. We trust that it is there even

though we may not know it or see it. You have attained the Kundalini and perhaps

as you cannot explain it to yourself then faith has a place for you as you

struggle to find meanings that will suit the ego desires for knowing everything

about what is happening to and for you.

 

We can know some things, many things, and yet there is always more to learn. No

need to " figure it all out " unless you " need " to ride that whirlpool. Allow your

faith to calm you in its embrace that even though you dont " know " everything

there is time for you to know " some things " and from there let yourself

experience some peace in your heart. - blessings to you dear Julia. - chrism

 

, Julia Ahern <jajahern

wrote:

>

> Hi and everyone....  

[Guest guest]

i am not feeling any better today but i am grateful for your replies danielle

and .... thank you.

chrism I will keep the tongue up and allow... as best i can.... to feel what is

given to me to feel.

I am not able to explain Kundilini to myself but I am ok with that... I can not

deny K nor do I want to.. it is very present and very tactile and very real... I

love that k has awakened and I am grateful for that every day no matter what is

given to me.

faith is a funny word i guess... i would agree that it is a trust thing as you

worded below. I have no desire to know everything or to have it all figured

out.... I have never wanted or desired that kind of knowing.... when i have

experienced " knowing " before it was a beautiful simple knowing that all is well,

that all is as it should be...that I am Loved and Love... i know God and God

knows me and that is that, a wonderful enough. sometimes the knowing is

inclusive and sometimes expansive but always peacful and beautiful.

But now I am back in a place of old.....the tormented unpeaceful place and I am

really suprised by it.... i do not want to ride the whirlpool.... where has the

peace in my heart gone... if I was able and had the space i would go and cry and

cry for days and stay with this given present... but I can't because of family,

I guess always having to postpone what arises makes dealing with it very

hard... a lot of things came up for me when I was writing my student assignment

about my mom's dying and perhaps that grief and conflict is present in me

again....

so now as I dry the tears here I am off to be " normal " mom and not affect my

kids by the sadness and confusion that is present in this aspect of myself.... I

sometimes feel like at least two people living in one body... I am longing for

this to pass and to be integrated again... but for now I will repeat the

mantra.. " all is well.. all is as it is meant to be. "

 

, " "

<> wrote:

>

>

> Faith for me is as a trust in something or some state that hasnt come yet or

is as yet unattainable or out of our range senses. We trust that it is there

even though we may not know it or see it. You have attained the Kundalini and

perhaps as you cannot explain it to yourself then faith has a place for you as

you struggle to find meanings that will suit the ego desires for knowing

everything about what is happening to and for you.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Julia,

 

Some of this is about the mind and its need to " know " . The mind will do this –

go back and forth and over and over and question and question. Part of yoga is

learning to control the mind. Patanjali wrote in the yoga sutras: Yoga is the

control of thought-waves in the mind.

 

Sometimes the mind gets out of control and drives us crazy. It's happened to

all of us. The hard part is learning to control the mind. Meditation is

critical for this. Allowing thoughts to rise and fall and just watching them.

Not identifying with them. You are not your mind. Let the mind do its thing.

Don't let it affect you. Try not to get sucked into its game – it will want you

to pay attention to it, to read this and that, to think deep and hard about this

and that.

 

The attention is separate from the mind. Some say this is the " real you " . I

don't know. But the attention is the part of you that sees out through your

eyes, that observes inner events, that watches the mind. If you forget that you

are the attention, your attention can easily get confused – you think you are

your mind, or your emotions, or a " Mom " , or a " Hindu " or a " Christian " or " sad "

or " confused " . You are your attention, the soul, a spark of the Divine,

whatever way of expressing this works for you. These other things are ideas and

constructs with which you have identified. Attention is stuck in those

constructs. As soon as it moves on, you suddenly experience something else.

 

You have seen how easily the attention can move. One moment you experience

bliss, the next you pay attention to the doubting, questioning, critical mind,

and you are drawn into a quandary of unknowing, anxiety, etc. – the whirlpool.

I would suggest that learning to control where you place your attention will

help you.

 

[Don't get me wrong – we need our critical mind. It is an important tool for

surviving and getting along in the world. But it is not You. Just a tool that

You can use.]

 

There are a few parts to this. Mindfulness (my definition) is exercising

continual vigilance over the attention. Watching your inner world and noticing

when your attention is drawn to unpleasant emotions, inner turmoil, whatever

mind-states you do not wish to experience. It is a continual process of

incremental self-correction. You notice when you're getting sucked into a bad

state, you turn the attention elsewhere, to something bright, happy, or at

least neutral. This is similar to the inner joy safety. Cultivating inner joy.

And conversely, noticing when you're not, and correcting for it. Sometimes you

need to practice the other safeties to make this work. If you're sucked into

thinking about a person from the past or present and thinking negative

thoughts/emotions about them, forgive them, forgive yourself, send them love.

This helps to dissolve the energetic link between you, freeing your attention

and energy to go into brighter states.

 

Remember that all experiences come to you for your own education and

edification. This is hard to remember at times, depending upon the experience.

But in addition to releasing the energetic bonds to the persons, karmas, etc.

that you are experiencing, try to be grateful for literally everything that

comes your way. Every experience is a gift from the Divine for your

conditioning, to clear you so you can experience more and more bliss.

 

Also be aware that you are probably highly empathic, if not outright telepathic.

You feel the mind-states of those around you and those you love, even at a

distance. If you can go off to be by yourself in nature, near running water,

and suddenly you feel completely different – free, bright, happy – like the

weight has been lifted, then it may well be that you are not experiencing your

own thoughts and emotions but rather are picking up mind-states and emotions

from others around you and then developing thoughts to justify the feelings. If

this is the case, then sometimes just recognizing that this is occurring is

enough to release your attention from identifying with those mind-states. Thank

Shakti for showing this to you, forgive those around you for their " effect " upon

you, send them love and compassion – let your heart radiate joy and love

outward. Ask Shakti to send them love.

 

Some of this may have been triggered by writing about past events in your

student assignment. We can literally go back into the exact same states of

attention we were in when those events occurred. This is especially true for

some reason with traumatic or painful past events. Those mind-states get stored

somewhere in our energetic structure and are (alas) readily available for

recall. This I think is a part of why the recapitulation safety is important –

it helps to free us from those past events whose impressions are

stored/imprinted on our energy bodies. It dissolves the energy paths from our

present to the " past " where those experiences still live and the links that

still exist energetically between us and the other people involved in those

events. It frees some of our own energy which is trapped in these clusters of

impressions. When we retrieve those bits of ourselves, our own energy, that

becomes available to us for our own ascension.

 

It's hard work – cultivating inner joy, forgiveness, gratitude, love, etc.

Especially with the amplification provided by K, when negative mind-states come,

they too are amplified. But from meditation and the other safeties I think you

can develop the ability to notice when this is happening, and then to cultivate

the bright states, which act as antidotes to the negative ones. As with other

skills, this ability to continually watch your own inner state and self-correct

as you go improves with practice.

 

Hope some of this is helpful to you....

 

Love,

 

David

[Guest guest]

Julia,

 

I reread my post and find on rereading that it comes off, to me, a little stark

and not fulling conveying the loving intention behind it. Please know that I

wrote it out of love in the hopes that some piece of it might help you through

the whirlpool....

 

Love and blessings,

 

David

[Guest guest]

David:

I am not Julia, am merely myself, and perhaps not who you intended to directly

impact with your sharing...but my eyes fell upon it, and my heart sank into it,

and it filled me with its light. Your writing is one of the most incredible

pieces I have read. This is one of the many blessings of the groups' posts imho.

Thank you.

 

-Danielle

 

 

 

, " djgottlieb "

<dgottlieb wrote:

>

> Julia,

>

> I reread my post and find on rereading that it comes off, to me, a little

stark >

> Love and blessings,

>

> David

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Danielle. Much Love.

 

David

[Guest guest]

Dear David.

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this post......  

It was exactly what I needed .... it has helped me so much, you can have no idea

how much.....

much love and thanks,

Julia.

 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________

djgottlieb <dgottlieb

 

Thu, October 29, 2009 1:53:26 PM

Re: whirlpool

 

 

 

 

Julia,

 

Some of this is about the mind and its need to " know " . The mind will do this –

go back and forth and over and over and question and question. Part of yoga is

learning to control the mind. Patanjali wrote in the yoga sutras: Yoga is the

control of thought-waves in the mind.

 

Sometimes the mind gets out of control and drives us crazy. It's happened to all

of us. The hard part is learning to control the mind. Meditation is critical for

this. Allowing thoughts to rise and fall and just watching them. Not identifying

with them. You are not your mind.

..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear David,

 

 

Your post has helped to  calm swirling circular thoughts..... the loving

intention was felt here in every word....

 

Much gratitude and love sent to you..

Julia.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

djgottlieb <dgottlieb

 

Thu, October 29, 2009 8:14:29 PM

Re: whirlpool

 

 

Julia,

 

I reread my post and find on rereading that it comes off, to me, a little stark

and not fulling conveying the loving intention behind it. Please know that I

wrote it out of love in the hopes that some piece of it might help you through

the whirlpool... .

 

Love and blessings,

 

David

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

A gift from Shakti by virtue of and through this group's existence. I am in awe

at the way She has set this up for us all to be of service to each other...

 

Love and thanks,

 

David

 

, Julia Ahern <jajahern

wrote:

>

> Dear David.

>

> Thank you so much for taking the time to write this post......  

> It was exactly what I needed .... it has helped me so much, you can have no

idea how much.....

> much love and thanks,

> Julia.

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> djgottlieb <dgottlieb

>

> Thu, October 29, 2009 1:53:26 PM

> Re: whirlpool

>

>  

>

>

> Julia,

>

> Some of this is about the mind and its need to " know " . The mind will do this

†" go back and forth and over and over and question and question. Part of yoga

is learning to control the mind. Patanjali wrote in the yoga sutras: Yoga is the

control of thought-waves in the mind.

>

> Sometimes the mind gets out of control and drives us crazy. It's happened to

all of us. The hard part is learning to control the mind. Meditation is critical

for this. Allowing thoughts to rise and fall and just watching them. Not

identifying with them. You are not your mind.

> .

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My thanks as well to Chrism, bringing this group into existence. So many have

benefited....

 

 

 

, " djgottlieb "

<dgottlieb wrote:

>

> A gift from Shakti by virtue of and through this group's existence. I am in

awe at the way She has set this up for us all to be of service to each other...

>

> Love and thanks,

>

> David

>

> , Julia Ahern <jajahern@>

wrote:

> >

> > Dear David.

> >

> > Thank you so much for taking the time to write this post......  

> > It was exactly what I needed .... it has helped me so much, you can have no

idea how much.....

> > much love and thanks,

> > Julia.

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > djgottlieb <dgottlieb@>

> >

> > Thu, October 29, 2009 1:53:26 PM

> > Re: whirlpool

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> > Julia,

> >

> > Some of this is about the mind and its need to " know " . The mind will do this

†" go back and forth and over and over and question and question. Part of yoga

is learning to control the mind. Patanjali wrote in the yoga sutras: Yoga is the

control of thought-waves in the mind.

> >

> > Sometimes the mind gets out of control and drives us crazy. It's happened to

all of us. The hard part is learning to control the mind. Meditation is critical

for this. Allowing thoughts to rise and fall and just watching them. Not

identifying with them. You are not your mind.

> > .

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >