Guest guest Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hey guys and gals, haven't been able to read much posts lately. I've been going through deep emotional stuff the past 2 weeks. No need to go into details about it but there were times I wanted death and other times it felt like my heart couldn't take anymore of feeling like it's being ripped apart...I've been restored to emotional balance for the time being but I know there is much more that needs to surface. But on a lighter note, I start my hospice volunteering this coming wednesday and I possibly have gotten a job at a doggie day care resort type of thing. Chrism, I've been searching for jobs in the medical field and will continue searching but there seems to be no jobs that doesn't require one to take a class first. CNA and phlebotomy require classes about the same price as EMT...but will keep searching. I am planning on taking a medical terminology course when I get situated in a job (this class is also a prerequisite for CNA and phlebotomy). craig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 oh I forgot to add, it seems that I got eczema or something on the right side of my neck and energetically sometimes my spine at the neck fizzles, and sometimes my whole throat starts fizzling... craig , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Hey guys and gals, haven't been able to read much posts lately. I've been going through deep emotional stuff the past 2 weeks. No need to go into details about it but there were times I wanted death and other times it felt like my heart couldn't take anymore of feeling like it's being ripped apart...I've been restored to emotional balance for the time being but I know there is much more that needs to surface. > > But on a lighter note, I start my hospice volunteering this coming wednesday and I possibly have gotten a job at a doggie day care resort type of thing. Chrism, I've been searching for jobs in the medical field and will continue searching but there seems to be no jobs that doesn't require one to take a class first. CNA and phlebotomy require classes about the same price as EMT...but will keep searching. I am planning on taking a medical terminology course when I get situated in a job (this class is also a prerequisite for CNA and phlebotomy). > > craig > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hmm, I believe I can relate to things similar during this year now past. How beautiful that you have the awareness and frame of reference to be able to restore balance. Remembering this helps me too during my own changes currently. Thank you. I'll cross my paws for you. whoo hoo, doggy day care! My dogs love doggy day care, and it's because of the staff and all of that unconditional love that fills the place....and hospice volunteer work; what powerfully energy-rich and flowing environments these both will be for you. Hugs: Danielle , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Hey guys and gals, haven't been able to read much posts lately. I've been going through deep emotional stuff the past 2 weeks. No > > But on a lighter note, I start my hospice volunteering this coming wednesday and I possibly have gotten a job at a doggie day care resort type of thing. > > craig > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 Hi Craig, good to hear from you.. .and hang in there its tough and scary down in the trenches... glad you are back for a breath of fresh air... and just to have confidence in the process... there will be as many clearings as are necessary and each one will probably hurt as you re-experienc unresolved emotional issues and resistances. For me it seemed never ending but finally it stabilized... Things were mostly ok since Jan of this year, but recently there has been a deep deep instinctual fear I have had to face.. I think I am through it now... keep going Bruce , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Hey guys and gals, haven't been able to read much posts lately. I've been going through deep emotional stuff the past 2 weeks. No need to go into details about it but there were times I wanted death and other times it felt like my heart couldn't take anymore of feeling like it's being ripped apart...I've been restored to emotional balance for the time being but I know there is much more that needs to surface. > > But on a lighter note, I start my hospice volunteering this coming wednesday and I possibly have gotten a job at a doggie day care resort type of thing. Chrism, I've been searching for jobs in the medical field and will continue searching but there seems to be no jobs that doesn't require one to take a class first. CNA and phlebotomy require classes about the same price as EMT...but will keep searching. I am planning on taking a medical terminology course when I get situated in a job (this class is also a prerequisite for CNA and phlebotomy). > > craig > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 thanks for the encouragement Bruce, it's hard, feels like I'm in no man's land, I'm starting to realize how hard it is to let go of control, I want to fix things but I know I need not to interfere (enter fear) but it's hard, it feels like my heart's on the line... It's good to hear that you've reached a point of being stabilized and your surrendering of your fear after getting back to africa Just got to keep going and face it all... Craig , " BruceO " <bruce_oom wrote: > > Hi Craig, > > good to hear from you.. .and hang in there its tough and scary down in the trenches... > > glad you are back for a breath of fresh air... and just to have confidence in the process... there will be as many clearings as are necessary and each one will probably hurt as you re-experienc unresolved emotional issues and resistances. For me it seemed never ending but finally it stabilized... > > Things were mostly ok since Jan of this year, but recently there has been a deep deep instinctual fear I have had to face.. I think I am through it now... > > keep going > > Bruce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 Craig, My heart is with you. Love and blessings, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2009 Report Share Posted November 1, 2009 Hi Craig, haha.. well, I dont know if I am stabilized.. my life is extremely uncertain and I am being taught deeper lessons in trust... no mans land can be a long desert and it can be brutal as the reliance on the seperate self sense and survival fears are broken. Just reflecting that more than 90% (my guess here) of the world is driven by the root fear of survival and the resultant need to accumulate and to live in certainty, and its the deep fear based drive for control that is being broken down inside you that is propelling that world around you, and now you are choosing a different way and seeking the Kingdom. At some point you will have (if you havent already) a deep sense of connection to deeper, more substantial, infinitely knowing loving intelligence that knows what you need. When that happens surrender and trust will become a little easier.... You most likely need to get broken before you can hold the Kingdom and that may hurt... The promise of Christ is that we will have food and clothes if we whole heartedly seek first the Kingdom of God. blessings on the journey, craig.. Bruce , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > thanks for the encouragement Bruce, it's hard, feels like I'm in no man's land, I'm starting to realize how hard it is to let go of control, I want to fix things but I know I need not to interfere (enter fear) but it's hard, it feels like my heart's on the line... > > It's good to hear that you've reached a point of being stabilized and your surrendering of your fear after getting back to africa > > Just got to keep going and face it all... > > Craig > > > > > > , " BruceO " <bruce_oom@> wrote: > > > > Hi Craig, > > > > good to hear from you.. .and hang in there its tough and scary down in the trenches... > > > > glad you are back for a breath of fresh air... and just to have confidence in the process... there will be as many clearings as are necessary and each one will probably hurt as you re-experienc unresolved emotional issues and resistances. For me it seemed never ending but finally it stabilized... > > > > Things were mostly ok since Jan of this year, but recently there has been a deep deep instinctual fear I have had to face.. I think I am through it now... > > > > keep going > > > > Bruce > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2009 Report Share Posted November 1, 2009 thank you for your thoughts and kindness David craig , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb wrote: > > Craig, > > My heart is with you. > > Love and blessings, > > David > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Blessings to you Pheonix, I wish you well in your coming in to balance. The fact you know yourself speaks that your balance is pretty good, even when its bad! If that makes sense. Hugs elektra x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 thank you Elektra, and yes I get what your saying. a hug back at ya craig , Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > > Blessings to you Pheonix, I wish you well in your coming in to balance. > The fact you know yourself speaks that your balance is pretty good, even when its bad! If that makes sense. > Hugs elektra x x x > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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