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Trust (Linda)

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What you write in the paragraph belov is basically me. First I dremt of wolves

attacking me at puberty. Back then I was attacked by physical dogs three times

(too many to be coincidence). Nothing too nasty but I got bitten on my thigh

once. Now the dreams have changed to dogs and are not quite as threatening as

the wolves were.

 

I feel like I've been betrayed by friends in the past and few times by girls

too. So my issues go back to childhood as well. Now Im having difficult time as

I have to hide this kundalini thing from my friends. In addition I'm changing

fundamentally so many of my old friens don't " fit " anymore. Tuff times.

 

Because of the fear of getting betrayed (and maybe rejected and judged too), I

cant be vulnerable with friends or girls so I'm missing out on a lot.

 

How did you get past your trust issues?

 

Love,

Aarni

 

, " danceswithcats999 "

<crazycats711 wrote:

>

> Hi Aarni,

>

> Your interp of your dog dreams really resonates with me. I went about 2 years

having dog dreams mostly attacking me. They began at a time in my life when I

felt everyone was against me, my forum friends and even my own family members

were wanting to be divorced from me. I was changing and upsetting the balance of

things. There rejection left me with the inability to trust anyone about

anything for a long time. I did not know rather I could even trust my own

feelings,thoughts, and experience that were happening. It got so bad, I was

actually being attacked by dogs in the physical. I am so glad and grateful that

is all over with. I am back on the road to being able to trust people and

animals again. It was a hard lesson. I am learning to be me, if I am excepted

that's fine and if not that is fine as well. :)

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Hi Aarni,

 

I have not gotten completely past the trust problem, but being here on the group

and working with the safeties daily is helping be able to trust again. My

youngest daughter is the one I am having the hardest time with. With my hubby it

has gotten a little easier, but it is there always in the back ground, not

really knowing if what they are outwardly pretarying is the real way they feel.

I don't know if I can ever get back to the full trust as it once was. All is

forgiven and our relationship is better than it's ever been, but the trust thing

is still there for me. I worry with everything I say, if it is going to be taken

right. Both have a way of turning your words around to meaning the opposite of

what I am saying. :) With my hubby I do not hold back my angry anymore, I let

him know my true feelings now when things arise. I have stopped being the

peacemaker of the family. I just let them do their thing and get over it.

 

With my daughter she has a leverage, when she gets angry at me she tends to use

the grandkids as a tool, by keeping them away from me.:)

I think I got the point across to her though, that if I don't drop what I am

doing and do what she wants...when,where,or how, it has nothing to do with not

loving her if I decide not to what she wants.

 

With friends, it is not quite so hard, unless you have created a big

" attachment " for them. I think the biggest thing is getting over the fear of

some one leaving you. I came out of all those months of tormoil, with it being

ok if my hubby wants to leave and not be a part of my life any longer. Also, the

same with my daughter. They can love me and take me as I am or they can leave or

what ever they want. When I came to the point of letting them go, they no longer

wanted to. :) My life is not theirs and their is not mine is the way I look at

things now. That may sound cold, but really it isn't. We are not each others

possesions, but just a person we have agreed to share our life with. With the

way things are now, proper consideration for each other are being given amongst

us.

 

blessing & love,

Linda

 

 

 

, " spiralingsnake "

<aarni.kimmo wrote:

>

> What you write in the paragraph belov is basically me. First I dremt of wolves

attacking me at puberty. Back then I was attacked by physical dogs three times

(too many to be coincidence). Nothing too nasty but I got bitten on my thigh

once. Now the dreams have changed to dogs and are not quite as threatening as

the wolves were.

>

> I feel like I've been betrayed by friends in the past and few times by girls

too. So my issues go back to childhood as well. Now Im having difficult time as

I have to hide this kundalini thing from my friends. In addition I'm changing

fundamentally so many of my old friens don't " fit " anymore. Tuff times.

>

> Because of the fear of getting betrayed (and maybe rejected and judged too), I

cant be vulnerable with friends or girls so I'm missing out on a lot.

>

> How did you get past your trust issues?

>

> Love,

> Aarni

>

> , " danceswithcats999 "

<crazycats711@> wrote:

> >

> > Hi Aarni,

> >

> > Your interp of your dog dreams really resonates with me. I went about 2

years having dog dreams mostly attacking me. They began at a time in my life

when I felt everyone was against me, my forum friends and even my own family

members were wanting to be divorced from me. I was changing and upsetting the

balance of things. There rejection left me with the inability to trust anyone

about anything for a long time. I did not know rather I could even trust my own

feelings,thoughts, and experience that were happening. It got so bad, I was

actually being attacked by dogs in the physical. I am so glad and grateful that

is all over with. I am back on the road to being able to trust people and

animals again. It was a hard lesson. I am learning to be me, if I am excepted

that's fine and if not that is fine as well. :)

>

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When I was writing this post to Aarni yesterday, I left and went to do something

and when I returned, James was at my computer reading what I wrote here. I don't

know how much of it he read. Hehe! He didn't say anything, but looked a little

embarrassed at being caught reading it. I didn't say anything either. :) I don't

think I wrote anything that he didn't already know. It felt a little weird

having him read it.

 

Linda

 

, " danceswithcats999 "

<crazycats711 wrote:

>

> Hi Aarni,

>

> I have not gotten completely past the trust problem, but being here on the

group and working with the safeties daily is helping be able to trust again.

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