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Dear all,

My left shoulder is slowing getting better. Been doing my practices along with

some gentle stretches and asking Shakti to reveal anything there. I did some

stretching and coming out burst into tears. Had a wierd dream last night. we

were taking a woman I know to the airport. I was sitting in the backseat and

two men were running alongside and pushing the car down the freeway fast. I

asked if they wanted me to steer. they didn't answer. i was motioning them to

veer over as we were beginning to tetter on the edge and there was a fall off

place. we couldn't recover and fell off only to land, bounce a few times, and

weren't hurt. Another part of the dream was a female friend turned on music and

began singing to me, kissing me lovingly, and there was another woman looking on

disapproving.

 

Feel sort of like a stranger in a strange land lately. Shakti is working on me

and not even sure whats important to me anymore. its not uncomfortable exactly,

just a little unsettled. I have been enjoying my work alot more. When I first

joined the list, suggested after sessions taking all that transpired and

putting it on a pane of glass and letting it shatter only taking back what is

mine, releasing what isn't. I feel like I'm more present with my clients

without taking on whats not mine. Continue to dance. this month its the waltz

which is much more fluid, graceful (at least ideally!) the weather is

absolutely beautiful, the fall colors are at their peak. plan to take my lunch

in the woods and meditate at my new special place.

love and blessings to you all,

Jan

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Jan,

 

I tried to write you yesterday morning but my fingers splayed and I think I

ended up sending you only a comma! After that, I just had to step away from the

machine...

 

So, I am trying again today. I just want to tell that I so much I enjoy reading

your postcards!

 

Peace & Joy,

Shaz

 

--- " yogijan " <drjandean wrote:

I feel like I'm more present with my clients without taking on whats not mine.

Continue to dance. this month its the waltz which is much more fluid, graceful

(at least ideally!) the weather is absolutely beautiful, the fall colors are at

their peak. plan to take my lunch in the woods and meditate at my new special

place.

> love and blessings to you all,

> Jan

>

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi and all,

I haven't been remembering my dreams much, snippets here & there of seemingly

inane stuff. I notice, though, when Shakti wakes me up at 3 to do my practices,

I go back to sleep and have a more substantial dream. That happened last night.

I dreamt last night I got on a boat, I initially wandered by some people I knew

and they were talking alot so I moved on to take a nap. Upon awakening, I went

further down the deck and there was an AA talk going on & I sat down. The woman

to my right, a black woman, said hi and introduced herself. then another woman

in front turned around to get some professional advice. she was clearly angry

at her daughter and wanted advice but clearly wanted some joining with her

anger. I wanted to tell her I'm off the clock but instead realized I may be

able to help (but wasn't attached to it) and it took very little time and energy

to use my wisdom to offer her a few thoughts about taking a gentler,

understanding approach with her daughter. Then I got up and walked further down

the deck. Some other things happened that I won't go into. But futher down the

deck there was a place that had glass or plexiglass at the edge but you could

see the water. It was rough and the boat was rolling on the water and I was

laughing, delighted by the movements. i saw there were some people near by that

looked a little scared. i just took some time to really enjoy the ride. then I

realized I was coming to my place to get off and wandered toward where the boat

was docking.

 

Anyway, woke up kind of tired from the long boat ride and thinking about the joy

I felt at watching and feeling the movements of the water.

(as always, any thoughts are appreciated)

Love and blessings to everyone here,

Jan

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi all,

Just felt the need to check-in although nothing earth shattering happening here.

The other day I felt a subtle bliss feeling all day. My boss had an attitude

that day, he gets weird right before I take vacations, and it just didn't phase

me & I didn't need to react. Sort of like a bull fighter just moving to the

side. Thats one thing that seems to be happening the last few months. Things

that ordinarily I would take personally, even if momentarily reacting vicerally,

just isn't happening. I have had an intense couple of weeks with clients. A

couple of suicide attempts, a lot of misery and despair. Been trying to take

time between clients to pray for guidance to help each person and this way, I

have been staying more in presence and letting the session be more organic.

Other than this, having a lot of fluttering in my sacral area and upper chest

area. Been having a lot of allergy symptoms lately (seem to get this each time

we go through Shaktipat).

 

Been feeling the desire to be around children lately. Tonight I'm volunteering

with a local nonprofit group that provides services to children who have

experienced some kind of loss. Tonights their last night of the year so we're

going christmas caroling, then friday my friend & I are making dinner for two

10-year old girls (we know the dads) & taking them to a play. I loved

Danielle's story about the sunflower and her heart. I worked with a woman who

lost her son to cancer and before his death he drew pictures of his room in

heaven. He drew a room that had all these chairs around it for his friends to

play video games with him and a chair outside the door with a skylight on the

floor so he could keep an eye on his mom.

Love to you all,

Jan

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hi Jan,

 

nice to read you... Its interesting; I have been volunteering the last few

months with a group of AIDS orphans after I was guided to do that, and spending

time with the kids has been both challenging and rewarding. I keep coming back

to Christs words, that as children we will enter the kingdom of heavan. There is

a lot to be learnt from the playfull sponteneity simplicity of being .

 

I also resonate with 'being present'. Its such a powerful form of liberation of

being able to stay present to difficult situations both internally and

externally. I find myself asking the Holy Spirit (or Shakti) to guide me in

every interaction I have, and in the midst of the interactions. Sometimes the

guidance is just to let it be, and that is a challenge as I have this strong

masculine drive to want to clear away obstacles to flow and spontaneity and to

open things up...

 

When that happens I am experimenting with a practice now of breathing into the

tension of the other person, feeling it and releasing it with my outbreath :)

 

love and happy holidays

Bruce

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> Just felt the need to check-in although nothing earth shattering happening

here. The other day I felt a subtle bliss feeling all day. My boss had an

attitude that day, he gets weird right before I take vacations, and it just

didn't phase me & I didn't need to react. Sort of like a bull fighter just

moving to the side. Thats one thing that seems to be happening the last few

months. Things that ordinarily I would take personally, even if momentarily

reacting vicerally, just isn't happening. I have had an intense couple of weeks

with clients. A couple of suicide attempts, a lot of misery and despair. Been

trying to take time between clients to pray for guidance to help each person and

this way, I have been staying more in presence and letting the session be more

organic. Other than this, having a lot of fluttering in my sacral area and

upper chest area. Been having a lot of allergy symptoms lately (seem to get this

each time we go through Shaktipat).

>

> Been feeling the desire to be around children lately. Tonight I'm

volunteering with a local nonprofit group that provides services to children who

have experienced some kind of loss. Tonights their last night of the year so

we're going christmas caroling, then friday my friend & I are making dinner for

two 10-year old girls (we know the dads) & taking them to a play. I loved

Danielle's story about the sunflower and her heart. I worked with a woman who

lost her son to cancer and before his death he drew pictures of his room in

heaven. He drew a room that had all these chairs around it for his friends to

play video games with him and a chair outside the door with a skylight on the

floor so he could keep an eye on his mom.

> Love to you all,

> Jan

>

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Hi all,

Woke up feeling a little ill, stomach hurting, kinda nauseaous, now feel a

slight fever. I think I have a little Shakti flu. had some challenging people

to see today. After tomorrow, I'll be off for two weeks, flying to Michigan for

Christmas.

Love you all,

Jan

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