Guest guest Posted November 11, 2009 Report Share Posted November 11, 2009 ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen Wed, November 11, 2009 8:31:55 PM Fw: Body/Soul Struggles ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen Kundalini <-Awakening-Systems-1 > Wed, November 11, 2009 7:36:36 PM Body/Soul Struggles Dear Chrism: I don't know how to express this exactly, but will try and hope I can write what I actually experience. As you know, I had an OBE at the age of 3, and did not want to return to the little body that I knew wasn't me. Since then, all my life, I've never felt at home in my body. It's as if it interferes with my true being. When I look in a mirror, which I don't like to do, I don't see me, I see the continuation of that little body I had to return to. All my life I've felt a deep grief, as if I've been separated from Reality , or ..separated from living in the Reality I know. But I've always understood, that I was living the life that was necessary for me, and so I've been able to hang in there, because I knew I needed to be obedient to the plan and path, however difficult and demanding. I vacillate between serenity, and intense experiences of K that cause me to feel that my body will disintegrate from the intensity. I also feel an inclination to use somewhat different positions for both hands and feet than you have instructed, which I am resisting unless or until you okay them. The intensity has greatly increased since I've met you, which I've expected, but again it makes daily life and tasks nearly impossible. I'm seeking the remedies you suggested in this regard. I have some difficulties with the tibetians, due to my fibromyalgia and lower back pain, but I do less and modify to my copacity. Can you shed any light on these issues for me and others who may be struggling along these lines? I will be very grateful. As always, Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love from Diane Additional thoughts: I " knew " by age 4 that I would marry someone from Norway, and I did. The moment I saw my future husband for the first time I recognized him. After 7 years of marriage, he left me, which I also knew would happen, but I have no regrets, as I have my amazing daughter and can even thank God that he left me! This is just one incident of things known beforehand, some of which I understand, some I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2009 Report Share Posted November 12, 2009 Dear diane, I would like to share one or two similiar but different experiences.... I did not have an OBE like you did at 3, But when I was very young I had a buring love for God...it was intense and physical too in that I remember having waves of bliss and heart expansions and other things....... I can not remember what age I was when I really wanted to leave here and be with God .... I was probably not given a choice about this really( or maybe I was and don't remember that bit), but I remember knowing that if I was to go, if I died then my parents would be devestated and I remember resigning my slef to staying in this worldand that has always felt like a decision I made.  I have a feeling too that after that I cut myself off from the divine source that had been communicating with me in order to cope with being here. When I cam her first which was in June.... I did not do the 5 tibetians....I really did not like them and figured I did not need to do them because K had awoken before I got here.. and I had survived thus far.....truth is I resist greatly being told what to do..lol! I liked the first tibetian but I could never ever do the movement of the 2nd tibetian in my life I could do all sorts of movements except rise my legs like that... I knew I could never do it.  So I would do the first tibetian and that was all.... then one day after meditation I was lying down flat when my body was moved and the 2nd tibetian happened spontaniously.... From that point on I did the 1st and 2nd tibetian.... and after a while I found I was being directed to do the remainder.  Recently I was not being consistant and found myself not wanting to do them again and said I was doing too many that I was to cut them down to 9, and to do all 5 two times a day.... so that is what I am doing now.... the other day I could do no more than 3 of each but I did that much and I think now I am to at the very least attempt them every single day twice a day. Chrism may correct me here but I think it is probably about the committment to the practice rather than the amount..... I figure I will know when to increase them my computer is freezing and very slow since I started to write ... this has taken ages.... wondering of course if this means I should send it at all.......lol... Thanks for sharing Diane and I loved your poem the other day.... it really resonated. Love Julia ________________________________ Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen Thu, November 12, 2009 4:34:28 AM Fw: Body/Soul Struggles  ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ > Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 Wed, November 11, 2009 8:31:55 PM Fw: Body/Soul Struggles ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ > Kundalini <-Awakening-Systems- 1 > Wed, November 11, 2009 7:36:36 PM Body/Soul Struggles Dear Chrism: I don't know how to express this exactly, but will try and hope I can write what I actually experience. As you know, I had an OBE at the age of 3, and did not want to return to the little body that I knew wasn't me. Since then, all my life, I've never felt at home in my body. It's as if it interferes with my true being. When I look in a mirror, which I don't like to do, I don't see me, I see the continuation of that little body I had to return to. All my life I've felt a deep grief, as if I've been separated from Reality , or .separated from living in the Reality I know. But I've always understood, that I was living the life that was necessary for me, and so I've been able to hang in there, because I knew I needed to be obedient to the plan and path, however difficult and demanding. I vacillate between serenity, and intense experiences of K that cause me to feel that my body will disintegrate from the intensity. I also feel an inclination to use somewhat different positions for both hands and feet than you have instructed, which I am resisting unless or until you okay them. The intensity has greatly increased since I've met you, which I've expected, but again it makes daily life and tasks nearly impossible. I'm seeking the remedies you suggested in this regard. I have some difficulties with the tibetians, due to my fibromyalgia and lower back pain, but I do less and modify to my copacity. Can you shed any light on these issues for me and others who may be struggling along these lines? I will be very grateful. As always, Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love from Diane Additional thoughts: I " knew "  by age 4 that I would marry someone from Norway, and I did. The moment I saw my future husband for the first time I recognized him. After 7 years of marriage, he left me, which I also knew would happen, but I have no regrets, as I have my amazing daughter and can even thank God that he left me! This is just one incident of things known beforehand, some of which I understand, some I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2009 Report Share Posted November 12, 2009 Dear Julia: Thank you for sharing your childhood experience. I understand and resonate. When I was out of my body, I wasn't 3, and could not imagine returning to such a confining state, and there was also an awareness that I would be facing a very difficult life. I felt (but did not see or hear) that I was not alone, and that I would not be alone in facing the difficulties. The reluctance to return to the body was more about returning to 3 from a ageless state that was my true state of being. In regard to knowing I would marry a Norwegian (and live in Norway, which I didn't write) I had a habit of answering " ja " instead of " yes " when asked a question about age 4. (I can place the age by other things that were happening at the time.) My Mother would say, " Diane, say yes, not ja " , and I remember answering " Ja is yes " , and then she would say " only if you are a Scandinavian " , and I would say " but I'm going to marry a Norwegian, so I can say ja " . When I would hear music by Edvard Grieg, tears would stream from my eyes and I felt such deep feelings that I didn't understand. The day I met my future Norwegian husband (in Norway, when I was on a tour) he too seemed to recognize me, as he said to me: " Do you believe in God " . Me, " Yes " . Him " Then pray that we will meet again. " And then he asked how many children I wanted, and when I answered 3, he said " and a boy which we'll name after me.  We did marry in Norway and live there 7 years until he left me for someone else. I never felt he was truly committed to me or the marriage, but have completely forgiven him long ago. When I went to Norway to marry him, I learned the language very quickly and effortlessly, and though the marriage ended in 1970, I am still fluent and have close relationships there which I maintain by phone at least once a month. Norway, the land and people, are a huge part of my heart. Am I remembering that you live in Ireland? My Mother's background is Irish (McGinnis) and I've always wanted to see Ireland. And I hope you will visit Norway; it is stunningly beautiful.  I feel a connection with you Julia, what is that about? lol!! Love Diane  ________________________________ Julia Ahern <jajahern Thu, November 12, 2009 1:52:04 AM Re: Fw: Body/Soul Struggles  Dear diane, I would like to share one or two similiar but different experiences. ... I did not have an OBE like you did at 3, But when I was very young I had a buring love for God...it was intense and physical too in that I remember having waves of bliss and heart expansions and other things...... . I can not remember what age I was when I really wanted to leave here and be with God .... I was probably not given a choice about this really( or maybe I was and don't remember that bit), but I remember knowing that if I was to go, if I died then my parents would be devestated and I remember resigning my slef to staying in this worldand that has always felt like a decision I made.  I have a feeling too that after that I cut myself off from the divine source that had been communicating with me in order to cope with being here. When I cam her first which was in June.... I did not do the 5 tibetians... .I really did not like them and figured I did not need to do them because K had awoken before I got here.. and I had survived thus far.....truth is I resist greatly being told what to do..lol! I liked the first tibetian but I could never ever do the movement of the 2nd tibetian in my life I could do all sorts of movements except rise my legs like that... I knew I could never do it.  So I would do the first tibetian and that was all.... then one day after meditation I was lying down flat when my body was moved and the 2nd tibetian happened spontaniously. ... From that point on I did the 1st and 2nd tibetian.... and after a while I found I was being directed to do the remainder.  Recently I was not being consistant and found myself not wanting to do them again and said I was doing too many that I was to cut them down to 9, and to do all 5 two times a day.... so that is what I am doing now.... the other day I could do no more than 3 of each but I did that much and I think now I am to at the very least attempt them every single day twice a day. Chrism may correct me here but I think it is probably about the committment to the practice rather than the amount..... I figure I will know when to increase them my computer is freezing and very slow since I started to write ... this has taken ages.... wondering of course if this means I should send it at all.......lol. .. Thanks for sharing Diane and I loved your poem the other day.... it really resonated. Love Julia ____________ _________ _________ __ Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ > Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 Thu, November 12, 2009 4:34:28 AM [Kundalini-Awakenin g-Systems- 1] Fw: Body/Soul Struggles  ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ > Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 Wed, November 11, 2009 8:31:55 PM Fw: Body/Soul Struggles ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ > Kundalini <-Awakening- Systems- 1 > Wed, November 11, 2009 7:36:36 PM Body/Soul Struggles Dear Chrism: I don't know how to express this exactly, but will try and hope I can write what I actually experience. As you know, I had an OBE at the age of 3, and did not want to return to the little body that I knew wasn't me. Since then, all my life, I've never felt at home in my body. It's as if it interferes with my true being. When I look in a mirror, which I don't like to do, I don't see me, I see the continuation of that little body I had to return to. All my life I've felt a deep grief, as if I've been separated from Reality , or .separated from living in the Reality I know. But I've always understood, that I was living the life that was necessary for me, and so I've been able to hang in there, because I knew I needed to be obedient to the plan and path, however difficult and demanding. I vacillate between serenity, and intense experiences of K that cause me to feel that my body will disintegrate from the intensity. I also feel an inclination to use somewhat different positions for both hands and feet than you have instructed, which I am resisting unless or until you okay them. The intensity has greatly increased since I've met you, which I've expected, but again it makes daily life and tasks nearly impossible. I'm seeking the remedies you suggested in this regard. I have some difficulties with the tibetians, due to my fibromyalgia and lower back pain, but I do less and modify to my copacity. Can you shed any light on these issues for me and others who may be struggling along these lines? I will be very grateful. As always, Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love from Diane Additional thoughts: I " knew "  by age 4 that I would marry someone from Norway, and I did. The moment I saw my future husband for the first time I recognized him. After 7 years of marriage, he left me, which I also knew would happen, but I have no regrets, as I have my amazing daughter and can even thank God that he left me! This is just one incident of things known beforehand, some of which I understand, some I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.