Guest guest Posted November 12, 2009 Report Share Posted November 12, 2009 Hi Julia, > > Dear Iona... > > I think it all depends on what " supporting " your manager means > If that support means that he wants you to say that he should have his baby returned to him and his girlfriend then I think you would be acting incorrectly to give that support. > If support means that you can show him compassion as he now struggles with the concequences of his  appaling behaviour to his child, then I think this could be to act correctly and with the compassion and love. @@@There was no way I would agree with the way they have been bringing up the baby. I think both he and I knew that support meant being there for them emotionally and spiritually while they went through the meeting and child care hearings. No one was showing compassion while they struggled with this new life that they were not able or equippeduipt to cope with. @@@ > To feel empathy with them because of their own upbringing is understandable and perhaps you understand some of the dynamics that can manifest in adults behaving like this. But Iona their behaviour was not ok will continue to be not ok not matter what they say now. > I think it is possible to reject the behaviour and support the person. Rejecting the behaviour would mean knowing that it is not appropriate for them to have theri baby returned to them now. @@@Yes. I have worked with Special Needs Children as a teacher and while working at an Advice Centre I have seen how un prepared some people are for looking after themselves or their children. This comes from a bad upbringing and ignorance, not malice. So I was fining it difficult to condem them as people because they really did not know better.@@@ > I am wondering how someone with the title of manager and who obviously earns his living as a manager cannot then manage himself. @@@As my mother often said, those in high positions often have brains but not always common sense. I believe this is the case here. @@@  he needs help and support and compassion but his child needs love and a safe place to grow and develop. @@@ They now have a live in carer to show them exactly how to bring up their baby. The Grand parents are no longer allowed to baby sit as it may have been the step granddad who broke her rib. So the parents were not to blame for this.@@@ > My prayers are with you that you make the correct choice. > Love Julia > Thank you again Julia for your understanding reply. Blessings Iona x > > > > ________________________________ > iona winton <ionaskydancer > Kundalini Awakening > Mon, November 9, 2009 10:16:08 PM > Child Abu & e > >  > Hi and All, >  > Wow. I have been given a hard task to do. If someone had asked me to take on this test/task I would have refused it but it is here facing me and I want to share it with others who will understand. Some may know that I work part-time as a Spiritual Adviser to a group of people who are of various faiths. I had a few problems with the manager at first as his ways and manners left a lot to be desired. As I got to know him I found his heart was in the right place and he was good at his job. >  > He and his girl friend had a baby girl 4 mths ago and this Saturday I am conducting a Naming Ceremony for her. Over 70 people are attending. As our meetings are held in the office next to their home I see the baby all the time. I had noticed that their house was not very clean but as I've been told I'm & nal about cleaning, I guessed it was just me being fussy. I had also noticed over time that the baby was not thriving and many times she looked as if she was dead. >  > Luckily the Child Services, Midwife and Social workers got involved and baby went into hospital. After two days the baby was let out and given a regime for feeding and regular Child Authority visits. I learnt from others that they had fed the 9wk old baby ice cream and bread. She showed improvement for a few weeks but then took another down turn. As I held her one day I could see bruises on her face and neck. >  > That was two weeks ago and I never commented on it as I knew they were being watched by authorities. Last week the poor mite was taken into hospital again. She is malnourished, bruised, dirty and has a broken rib. I'm in tears as I write this as and some may know that child abuse is something close to my heart and in my own childhood. I work hard to raise money for such children, and recently raised 200 UK pounds for them by cutting off 20yrs growth of dreadlocks. >  > As I am still the Spiritual Adviser the manager has been calling me for support in times of stress and trouble. No one has been there for him. On one hand I want to shout at him for the treatment of the baby. To scream at him and take the baby away from them for ever and make sure they never have another child. There was a meeting today at the baby's hospital and 20 officials turned up to support the baby, whereas the manager & girlfriend had no one. Now they have asked me to support them at the next meeting. What can I do? >  > I found out today that manager & girlfriend were not bought up very well themselves and have no idea how to look after a baby. Everything they have done wrong has been partly due to ignorance and having bad parents themselves. It's like children having children and while I 100%agreeee that the baby is being abused, it has not been out of malicece but ignorance and inability to even look after themselves properly. >  > So if you had asked me to support a couple found to be abusing their child my answer would have been " NO WAY " . But what other answer is there? I feel I should help them but what they have done is awful. >  > HELP Please. >  > Blessings, Iona x >  >  > >  >  > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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