Guest guest Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 I'm nothing if not persistent. I keep getting back up and continuing onward.... I once again embark upon Shakti's divine imperative (for me) of giving up caffeine. As I read all of the posts describing ways in which so many of you have faced or are facing various life challenges with love and surrender, it occurs to me that my little drama around the drinking or not drinking of coffee is just that - relatively small. It is not a major life change - just a beverage. Yet for me, it is a lesson in surrender and trust. It is an outer manifestation of inner fears and Shakti is using it to teach me and help me into her divine love. For others, it may not be such a big deal, just something to do or not do - an easy choice. In any case, I share here some of the musings I wrote around this in my journal.... Drinking coffee is a form of lack of surrender. It is also a fear reaction. By creating an imbalance in my body, it prevents my awareness from freely dissolving into the infinite love-bliss. Yes, it keeps me " grounded " , i.e. prevents me from soaring. Much as I have and cultivate the attitude of " let's jump into the abyss " and " may Shakti take me and do what She wills with me " , it seems there is still a little control freak inside me who would interfere with this. Lucky for me and my family the object of my inner control freak's attention is myself and not the others around me. So what do I fear? Inability to function in the world, care for my family, etc., etc. And so in some perverse twist of logic, I drink coffee to anchor my awareness, to prevent/interfere with Shakti fully having her way with me. This little part of me that feels " I " must do something, instead of letting Shakti do everything. I would have Shakti take me away into realms of indescribable bliss and trust that she will leave any necessary tendril of awareness on call in the physical to deal with whatever may arise. Silly to be afraid of that dissolution of self into the Divine for which my soul so powerfully longs. So coffee is a symbol for me of limiting fears and old conditionings that must be released, words that have been repeated to me so long I repeat them myself: you are responsible for your own life, what you experience is a result of your choices, will, intent, personal effort, self-control, i.e., conscious actions of the little " i " . Very rajasic. All these must be released into " Not my will, but Thine. " Let the Goddess guide me. So many of these old habits, attitudes, and conditionings evolved and accreted around me from fear, like hard protective shells. I am being taught that surrender is complete and total trust in Shakti, meaning these old armors, which weigh a ton, can finally be released. She really is a Ma and will take care of me, as soon as I stop trying to do it my- " self " . It is like being in an ocean. My craft has been destroyed and I am clinging to bits of flotsam and jetsom to keep myself afloat. Not necessary. Trust the ocean of Shakti Ma. And just let go.... Love, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Good luck to you, David! You have a good attitude going into this and awareness. It was hard for me, too. It took illness to break me of it once and for all. Hopefully awareness is enough for you! LOL Blessings, Valarie , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb wrote: > > I'm nothing if not persistent. I keep getting back up and continuing onward.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Valarie, My thanks to you! Love and lbessings, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Let the dolphins swim you ashore. - lol - chrism , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb wrote: > > My craft has been destroyed and I am clinging to bits of flotsam and jetsom to keep myself afloat. Not necessary. Trust the ocean of Shakti Ma. And just let go.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Love and thanks, David , " " <> wrote: > > Let the dolphins swim you ashore. - lol - chrism > > , " djgottlieb " <dgottlieb@> wrote: > > > > My craft has been destroyed and I am clinging to bits of flotsam and jetsom to keep myself afloat. Not necessary. Trust the ocean of Shakti Ma. And just let go.... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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