why secrecy??? - Craig

[Guest guest]

Hey Craig,

I can appreciate how you feel right now. I was thinking about when my k first

activated and i was having heat, heat, heat, flushing often, and having

anxiety/panic and emotional erruptions. i put it all on menopause when i knew

what it was but couldn't tell people. i can certainly relate to all this that

you write. i do have a couple people i can be honest with but lots who i can't.

I no longer put it off to menopause but don't feel the need to explain to others

at all now. i was thinking about how k magnifies everything so this

feeling/difficulty is most likely exaggerated by the kundalini right now. for

me, that always helps me to realize my reactions are dialed up several notches.

love to you craig and blessings,

Jan

 

, " phoenix.ing9 "

<phoenix.ing9 wrote:

>

> thank you for your reply Julia. One of the hardest things for me right now is

the dancing around the subject. Everythings really starting to tie into

Kundalini, well my perception of it is growing, and it feels like I'm trying not

to lie of say why I can't sleep some nights, and trying to use discretion but it

feels like I can't go with the simplistic approach of telling the full truth and

it feels tiring to 1. hold it in from those around me or option 2. to dance

around the subject and try to be honest but at the same time not tell them the

truth...I grew up as the ugly duckling in my family and now I'm just feeling

more alienated than before with not being able to open up to anyone in my

immediate surroundings...

>

> craig

>

> , " Julia " <jajahern@>

wrote:

> >

> >

> > Dear Craig,

> >

> > Even if money was provided and a place built and a community of K folk

gathered it would not change much for me in my situation...

> > I could not just up and go live in this community...

> > I am not sure that I would want to anyway... I am not sure it really would

be progress...but that is just my very first reaction...

> > It is an interesting proposition.

> >

> > Your post has prompted me to write about my own secrecy with K... I feel a

long post coming on !

> >

> > I hope I am authentic to those I love although they are unaware of my K

awakening. I cannot speak of K to my sisters and certainly not to my

father..... it would upset him and trouble him no end and I would not wish that

burden on him. My tradition is christian and catholic and K is not on the

radar at all. If I, who am experiencing K, still have issues and questioning

arising, then how can I then speak of it to those who do not know of K, with

out burdening some folks and providing entertainment for others

> > I have envied those from the eastern traditions because I imagne that

speaking about K must be easier for them. Secrecy must not be such an

issue...Perhaps that is incorret but it is my perception.

> > I have since coming here shared more and more with my husband and I am

supported and loved very much by him. I am not absolutly alone in my " real

world " with this awakening..although I also am fully alone. I was actually

directed by K to speak to two of my older children about K, not in fine detail

but they were good conversations and recently when I told them I was being

directed to eat like a vegan they didn't bat an eye lid...lol!

> > Who knows what the future holds...maybe I will always be secretive about

K... or perhaps I will begin to tell some of my friends when directed to do

so... I am still struggling to surrender fully, I am often in conflict and I

still have doubt about what I have been blessed to receive... I know that seems

silly but doubt does return here and I cannot deny it.

> > Craig, I know for me I will have to come fully home to me first...perhaps

then I can let the secrecy go fully. As of this moment in time secrecy

protects me, it allows me to float, swim and sink in the ocean of Kundalini

knowing that my " performances " are not not being observed or judged... for me

there is enough pressure from my own ego without adding the egos of others into

the mix. I am so grateful for the community here. It is very real and present

for me. I have also a huge longing to meet everyone here and I know I will meet

many of you at some stage, of this I have no doubt. I will come to the states

or you will come to Ireland.

> >

> > Craig can I ask, what difference would a real bricks and morter place make

in your life. If it existed tomorrow what would you be doing differently?

Could those changes you might make be implimented without the bricks and morter?

> > Would it be possible for you to make it to one of the KAS seminars in

December or in April and then you would get to meet people who would understand.

At the seminars you would find a physical place for a long week end at least...

perhaps there would be comfort in that.

> >

> > Love and blessings

> > Julia

> >

> >

> >

> > , " phoenix.ing9 "

<phoenix.ing9@> wrote:

> > >

> > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about

deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family

will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just

tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money

(whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm

just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be

myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's

really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be

living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and

phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going

through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we

get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to

live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home?

> > >

> > >

> > > craig

> > >

> >

>