Silent drumbeat

[Guest guest]

All:

 

I'm finding it most difficult to speak, there is a calm in the silence; a joy

within the sorrow, a great sorrow within the joy.

It's of essence not breath; the breath won't produce words. It fans a flame. The

flame is love. The love is fire. The fire a dance. The dance is still. The still

is silence. The silence is a drumbeat. The drumbeat is my heart.

 

-Danielle

[Guest guest]

Hi Danielle,

 

I think you wrote once before to say you were not able to speak? I was going to

reply then, but forgot, so thanks for this reminder. Two years ago I visited my

87yr old Mum and planned to stay for a month. She lives hundreds of miles away

in England, and right in a village that is hard to get to.

 

The first week was fine but on the second week she came down with flu and I came

down with laryngitis. I could not speak at all how ever hard I tried. So I

busied myself making sure she was comfortable and looking after my step-dad. He

was working on a large electrical job, so was out early morning till late

evening every day.

 

Mum and I would sit by her coal fire each day and she recounted her youth and

growing up in the 1920's. She then talked about the war and her time in the Land

Army growing crops to keep the troops going. She was a country girl and

preferred the outdoors to working in an ammunition's factory. She talked about

old boyfriends and her first marriage. It had been a very unhappy marriage but

in her day, women put up with more than they do now. She loved having children

around and that was why she fostered me and had three of her own.

 

I remember when I had my son out of wedlock she was very 'ashamed' of me as she

believed people should be married before having s & x, let alone children. But in

her stories as we sat by the fire, she admitted she was partly jealous of me and

other young women who could have children without the added 'burden 'of looking

after a man and having him tell her what to do. Remember all this time I could

not talk, only listen.

 

Then one morning as we sat by the fire she asked me what it felt like to have an

or & %sm? She told me that despite two husbands she had never got anything from

s & x. I was gobsmacked! My elderly mother was asking these personal questions so

late in her life. By using nearly a whole pad of A4 paper and a pencil, I did my

best to describe the 'birds and the bees' and what it was like to be satisfied

in a relationship.

 

10 days later she was better and I had got my voice back. Neither of us had been

able to go out shopping, visiting stately homes which she enjoys, or do anything

else. yet that will always be the best time I have ever spent with my mother. I

believe that if I had been able to talk and she had not had flu, we would have

missed so much and had never connected the way we did.

 

So Danielle, dont worry about not speaking as you may learn so much that you

could not learn any other way.

 

Blessings, Iona x  

 

, " iamwaitingmoon "

<iamwaitingmoon wrote:

 

All:

 

I'm finding it most difficult to speak, there is a calm in the silence; a joy

within the sorrow, a great sorrow within the joy.

It's of essence not breath; the breath won't produce words. It fans a flame. The

flame is love. The love is fire. The fire a dance. The dance is still. The still

is silence. The silence is a drumbeat. The drumbeat is my heart.

 

-Danielle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

A sacred journey. Beautiful Danielle! - chrism

 

, " iamwaitingmoon "

<iamwaitingmoon wrote:

The silence is a drumbeat. The drumbeat is my heart.

>

> -Danielle

>