Guest guest Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 When you assume and accept, in any relationship that; 1) Unexpected will only happen. 2) He/she will deceive. 3) There will be misunderstanding . 4) He/she may be harassed physically or tortured mentally. 5) His/her attitude may change suddenly, then you have self control,over pain and distress. EXPECTATIONS ARE CAUSE OF AGONY................shrikant The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Homepage. http://in./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Very well put shrikant. Maybe not soo much #2. I think when you fall in love with someone, you still have to understand that people can change. Its perfectly fine for someone to love someone 10 years and then decide they dont love them anymore or that they want to change their life. Its very hard, but if from the beginning you understand this, it will be easier. And a lot of the times you can still stay friends after you breakup. With Love, Mike On Sat, Nov 28, 2009 at 10:22 AM, shrikant phule <shrikantphulewrote: > > > When you assume and accept, in any relationship that; > 1) Unexpected will only happen. > 2) He/she will deceive. > 3) There will be misunderstanding . > 4) He/she may be harassed physically or tortured mentally. > 5) His/her attitude may change suddenly, then you have self control,over > pain and distress. > > EXPECTATIONS ARE CAUSE OF AGONY................shrikant > > The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Homepage. > http://in./ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 There have been some fascinating posts on relationship issues. As Shrikant points out unexpected incidents in relationships will occur. In the final analysis many if not most of these occurrences result from ego-driven desires or needs. Frequently they come off a base of selfishness. Often we then counter-react from an equally selfish perspective with our actions reflecting our personality styles (for personality style read " hard-wiring " in the physical). If we stand back one and then review what is taking place, the actions are invariably devoid of tangible influence from any level higher than the physical. Life is all about choices and this is one of the reasons that we are here in the physical in the here and now. We incarnated to expose ourselves to various challenges and in so doing to provide an opportunity to make decisions through our free will. Some of those decisions (the ego-driven ones) will often be wrong and result in pain and anguish. That's the lesson – if we make a decision based on love in its true sense the outcome will be different, while an ego-based decision will cause grief. We hopefully, in the final analysis, learn from those lessons in going forward. Sometimes these harsh and ugly ego-driven relationship experiences are the necessary keys to opening the doors to our understanding of many important aspects of our being – duality, unconditional love, forgiveness, surrender, management of the ego. The damage done by selfishness in relationships strips away all covers and reveals things for what they truly are. If we can the step above the pain and suffering we realise that this event was pre-planned before incarnating to facilitate the test and subsequent lesson. The wrong doer and `victim' are both part of the pre agreed and arranged plan. Coming to terms with the outcome forces us to find our true nature. Depending on our receptivity that can open the door to understanding our true nature – seeing beyond the duality. With duality behind us we see that we are all part of the divine. Unconditional love in its true sense is comprehended and in that light forgiveness is a given – you cannot not forgive that which you are part of on another level. The outcomes for the choices made (or that could have been made) become evident, and true and full understanding of those aspects of our `greater' being that we can understand and comprehend in the physical become crystal clear. In the light of that new knowledge our lives going forward are transformed. Our actions (or reactions) are influenced by our knowledge of unconditional love (awareness, understanding and acceptance – not the touchy feely emotional version). Our changed approach can heal relationship wounds and can help the wrong doer to change for the better. Some wrong doers choose not to change – their lessons are then still to be learned. That's life in the physical. Of note and if you accept the concept of reincarnation, you and your current partner, on a higher level, chose to be here simultaneously and to go through some of the grueling scenarios that we are faced with. If you can both see and accept that, that also provides a platform for finding understanding together. That is however, in many cases, easier said than done. If you can open that door to true unconditional love the world will never be the same again. Understanding and comprehension abounds. The physical world becomes an incredible classroom and life becomes wonderful. There are still ugly moments – that will always be the case but, as k-active or awakening individuals and in the comprehension of unconditional love and in surrendering to higher aspects of our being, the ugliness now has tangible meaning and our challenge is then one of learning from it all. Blessings - Jonathan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Wow Jonathan very well said, Thank You Maryann , " jonrow_2914 " <jrowland wrote: > > > There have been some fascinating posts on relationship issues. As Shrikant points out unexpected incidents in relationships will occur. In the final analysis many if not most of these occurrences result from ego-driven desires or needs. Frequently they come off a base of selfishness. Often we then counter-react from an equally selfish perspective with our actions reflecting our personality styles (for personality style read " hard-wiring " in the physical). If we stand back one and then review what is taking place, the actions are invariably devoid of tangible influence from any level higher than the physical. > > Life is all about choices and this is one of the reasons that we are here in the physical in the here and now. We incarnated to expose ourselves to various challenges and in so doing to provide an opportunity to make decisions through our free will. Some of those decisions (the ego-driven ones) will often be wrong and result in pain and anguish. That's the lesson – if we make a decision based on love in its true sense the outcome will be different, while an ego-based decision will cause grief. We hopefully, in the final analysis, learn from those lessons in going forward. > > Sometimes these harsh and ugly ego-driven relationship experiences are the necessary keys to opening the doors to our understanding of many important aspects of our being – duality, unconditional love, forgiveness, surrender, management of the ego. The damage done by selfishness in relationships strips away all covers and reveals things for what they truly are. If we can the step above the pain and suffering we realise that this event was pre-planned before incarnating to facilitate the test and subsequent lesson. The wrong doer and `victim' are both part of the pre agreed and arranged plan. Coming to terms with the outcome forces us to find our true nature. Depending on our receptivity that can open the door to understanding our true nature – seeing beyond the duality. With duality behind us we see that we are all part of the divine. Unconditional love in its true sense is comprehended and in that light forgiveness is a given – you cannot not forgive that which you are part of on another level. The outcomes for the choices made (or that could have been made) become evident, and true and full understanding of those aspects of our `greater' being that we can understand and comprehend in the physical become crystal clear. > > In the light of that new knowledge our lives going forward are transformed. Our actions (or reactions) are influenced by our knowledge of unconditional love (awareness, understanding and acceptance – not the touchy feely emotional version). Our changed approach can heal relationship wounds and can help the wrong doer to change for the better. Some wrong doers choose not to change – their lessons are then still to be learned. That's life in the physical. Of note and if you accept the concept of reincarnation, you and your current partner, on a higher level, chose to be here simultaneously and to go through some of the grueling scenarios that we are faced with. If you can both see and accept that, that also provides a platform for finding understanding together. That is however, in many cases, easier said than done. > > If you can open that door to true unconditional love the world will never be the same again. Understanding and comprehension abounds. The physical world becomes an incredible classroom and life becomes wonderful. There are still ugly moments – that will always be the case but, as k-active or awakening individuals and in the comprehension of unconditional love and in surrendering to higher aspects of our being, the ugliness now has tangible meaning and our challenge is then one of learning from it all. > > Blessings - Jonathan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Yes Dear Jonathan, I agree everything is preplanned.It is decided earlier who are going to be our parents,persons we meet in this life,different incidences in our life , even our breaths are numbered,nothing happens by coincidence...........shrikant ________________________________ jonrow_2914 <jrowland Mon, 30 November, 2009 3:46:17 PM Re: Relationship problems  There have been some fascinating posts on relationship issues. As Shrikant points out unexpected incidents in relationships will occur. In the final analysis many if not most of these occurrences result from ego-driven desires or needs. Frequently they come off a base of selfishness. Often we then counter-react from an equally selfish perspective with our actions reflecting our personality styles (for personality style read " hard-wiring " in the physical). If we stand back one and then review what is taking place, the actions are invariably devoid of tangible influence from any level higher than the physical. Life is all about choices and this is one of the reasons that we are here in the physical in the here and now. We incarnated to expose ourselves to various challenges and in so doing to provide an opportunity to make decisions through our free will. Some of those decisions (the ego-driven ones) will often be wrong and result in pain and anguish. That's the lesson – if we make a decision based on love in its true sense the outcome will be different, while an ego-based decision will cause grief. We hopefully, in the final analysis, learn from those lessons in going forward. Sometimes these harsh and ugly ego-driven relationship experiences are the necessary keys to opening the doors to our understanding of many important aspects of our being – duality, unconditional love, forgiveness, surrender, management of the ego. The damage done by selfishness in relationships strips away all covers and reveals things for what they truly are. If we can the step above the pain and suffering we realise that this event was pre-planned before incarnating to facilitate the test and subsequent lesson. The wrong doer and `victim' are both part of the pre agreed and arranged plan. Coming to terms with the outcome forces us to find our true nature. Depending on our receptivity that can open the door to understanding our true nature – seeing beyond the duality. With duality behind us we see that we are all part of the divine. Unconditional love in its true sense is comprehended and in that light forgiveness is a given – you cannot not forgive that which you are part of on another level. The outcomes for the choices made (or that could have been made) become evident, and true and full understanding of those aspects of our `greater' being that we can understand and comprehend in the physical become crystal clear. In the light of that new knowledge our lives going forward are transformed. Our actions (or reactions) are influenced by our knowledge of unconditional love (awareness, understanding and acceptance – not the touchy feely emotional version). Our changed approach can heal relationship wounds and can help the wrong doer to change for the better. Some wrong doers choose not to change – their lessons are then still to be learned. That's life in the physical. Of note and if you accept the concept of reincarnation, you and your current partner, on a higher level, chose to be here simultaneously and to go through some of the grueling scenarios that we are faced with. If you can both see and accept that, that also provides a platform for finding understanding together. That is however, in many cases, easier said than done. If you can open that door to true unconditional love the world will never be the same again. Understanding and comprehension abounds. The physical world becomes an incredible classroom and life becomes wonderful. There are still ugly moments – that will always be the case but, as k-active or awakening individuals and in the comprehension of unconditional love and in surrendering to higher aspects of our being, the ugliness now has tangible meaning and our challenge is then one of learning from it all. Blessings - Jonathan The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Homepage. http://in./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Hi Jonathon, thanks for writing this and giving relationships deeper meaning through situating them in a higher context I found this useful... love bruce , " jonrow_2914 " <jrowland wrote: > > > There have been some fascinating posts on relationship issues. As Shrikant points out unexpected incidents in relationships will occur. In the final analysis many if not most of these occurrences result from ego-driven desires or needs. Frequently they come off a base of selfishness. Often we then counter-react from an equally selfish perspective with our actions reflecting our personality styles (for personality style read " hard-wiring " in the physical). If we stand back one and then review what is taking place, the actions are invariably devoid of tangible influence from any level higher than the physical. > > Life is all about choices and this is one of the reasons that we are here in the physical in the here and now. We incarnated to expose ourselves to various challenges and in so doing to provide an opportunity to make decisions through our free will. Some of those decisions (the ego-driven ones) will often be wrong and result in pain and anguish. That's the lesson – if we make a decision based on love in its true sense the outcome will be different, while an ego-based decision will cause grief. We hopefully, in the final analysis, learn from those lessons in going forward. > > Sometimes these harsh and ugly ego-driven relationship experiences are the necessary keys to opening the doors to our understanding of many important aspects of our being – duality, unconditional love, forgiveness, surrender, management of the ego. The damage done by selfishness in relationships strips away all covers and reveals things for what they truly are. If we can the step above the pain and suffering we realise that this event was pre-planned before incarnating to facilitate the test and subsequent lesson. The wrong doer and `victim' are both part of the pre agreed and arranged plan. Coming to terms with the outcome forces us to find our true nature. Depending on our receptivity that can open the door to understanding our true nature – seeing beyond the duality. With duality behind us we see that we are all part of the divine. Unconditional love in its true sense is comprehended and in that light forgiveness is a given – you cannot not forgive that which you are part of on another level. The outcomes for the choices made (or that could have been made) become evident, and true and full understanding of those aspects of our `greater' being that we can understand and comprehend in the physical become crystal clear. > > In the light of that new knowledge our lives going forward are transformed. Our actions (or reactions) are influenced by our knowledge of unconditional love (awareness, understanding and acceptance – not the touchy feely emotional version). Our changed approach can heal relationship wounds and can help the wrong doer to change for the better. Some wrong doers choose not to change – their lessons are then still to be learned. That's life in the physical. Of note and if you accept the concept of reincarnation, you and your current partner, on a higher level, chose to be here simultaneously and to go through some of the grueling scenarios that we are faced with. If you can both see and accept that, that also provides a platform for finding understanding together. That is however, in many cases, easier said than done. > > If you can open that door to true unconditional love the world will never be the same again. Understanding and comprehension abounds. The physical world becomes an incredible classroom and life becomes wonderful. There are still ugly moments – that will always be the case but, as k-active or awakening individuals and in the comprehension of unconditional love and in surrendering to higher aspects of our being, the ugliness now has tangible meaning and our challenge is then one of learning from it all. > > Blessings - Jonathan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Dear Jonathan: You have expressed exactly what my situation was in my first marriage to a Norwegian attorney, living in Norway, and the lessons that I learned as a result. The first time I saw him I 'recognized " him and he seemed to have the same response. I told someone that day that I knew we would marry, and we did. I got caught up in the drama of the situation in the sense that for a short time I lost my perspective, (that there was unfinished business from past lives to finish, a belief that conflicted with my Christian faith, but I also " knew " that he would leave me, which seemed to be the only acceptable route at the time, as I didn't believe in divorce. I felt that the only acceptable resolution for me was that he leave, since I felt we needed to resolve the past. He did finally leave, and his second wife has had more than one nervous breakdown and she did finally divorce him, but then took him back because she was alone with no means of support. I said all of that to say this: I am glad I did not " jump ship " but waited for him to do so, because I feel that from my perspective I have resolved all the issues between us. We are friends, and I continue to pray for him, his wife and his 3 daughters by her. His sister and I remained close until she died 2 years ago Sept., and she sent me hundreds of newspaper clippings about his legal entanglements and the lawsuits he and a girlfriend attempted against his then ex-wife and 3 daughters, as well as his 2 periods in jail for tax evasion and insurance fraud. He had lied many times to me about his legal practices as well as other women: Danielle, are you reading this? He also forged my signature on a divorce document to convince his secretary that he was free to engage with her. What kept me sane through all of this and more which I won't write here, was the conviction that I could not change anyone but myself and that I had to learn to forgive both of us for our parts in this fiasco and let go with grace when he left my daughter and I without any financial help at all. I was truly free when I was able to do that. I felt only sadness for him, and as time went on, his second wife and 3 daughters, one of which threatened suicide, but I realized that I had learned all there was to learn with him, and was now free to move on, and I did. Thank you Jonathan, for putting into words the process that sparked this moment of memory for me; I am so glad to have that all behind me. Danielle, in time, you will feel the same. I love you both. Diane  ________________________________ jonrow_2914 <jrowland Mon, November 30, 2009 2:16:17 AM Re: Relationship problems  There have been some fascinating posts on relationship issues. As Shrikant points out unexpected incidents in relationships will occur. In the final analysis many if not most of these occurrences result from ego-driven desires or needs. Frequently they come off a base of selfishness. Often we then counter-react from an equally selfish perspective with our actions reflecting our personality styles (for personality style read " hard-wiring " in the physical). If we stand back one and then review what is taking place, the actions are invariably devoid of tangible influence from any level higher than the physical. Life is all about choices and this is one of the reasons that we are here in the physical in the here and now. We incarnated to expose ourselves to various challenges and in so doing to provide an opportunity to make decisions through our free will. Some of those decisions (the ego-driven ones) will often be wrong and result in pain and anguish. That's the lesson – if we make a decision based on love in its true sense the outcome will be different, while an ego-based decision will cause grief. We hopefully, in the final analysis, learn from those lessons in going forward. Sometimes these harsh and ugly ego-driven relationship experiences are the necessary keys to opening the doors to our understanding of many important aspects of our being – duality, unconditional love, forgiveness, surrender, management of the ego. The damage done by selfishness in relationships strips away all covers and reveals things for what they truly are. If we can the step above the pain and suffering we realise that this event was pre-planned before incarnating to facilitate the test and subsequent lesson. The wrong doer and `victim' are both part of the pre agreed and arranged plan. Coming to terms with the outcome forces us to find our true nature. Depending on our receptivity that can open the door to understanding our true nature – seeing beyond the duality. With duality behind us we see that we are all part of the divine. Unconditional love in its true sense is comprehended and in that light forgiveness is a given – you cannot not forgive that which you are part of on another level. The outcomes for the choices made (or that could have been made) become evident, and true and full understanding of those aspects of our `greater' being that we can understand and comprehend in the physical become crystal clear. In the light of that new knowledge our lives going forward are transformed. Our actions (or reactions) are influenced by our knowledge of unconditional love (awareness, understanding and acceptance – not the touchy feely emotional version). Our changed approach can heal relationship wounds and can help the wrong doer to change for the better. Some wrong doers choose not to change – their lessons are then still to be learned. That's life in the physical. Of note and if you accept the concept of reincarnation, you and your current partner, on a higher level, chose to be here simultaneously and to go through some of the grueling scenarios that we are faced with. If you can both see and accept that, that also provides a platform for finding understanding together. That is however, in many cases, easier said than done. If you can open that door to true unconditional love the world will never be the same again. Understanding and comprehension abounds. The physical world becomes an incredible classroom and life becomes wonderful. There are still ugly moments – that will always be the case but, as k-active or awakening individuals and in the comprehension of unconditional love and in surrendering to higher aspects of our being, the ugliness now has tangible meaning and our challenge is then one of learning from it all. Blessings - Jonathan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 ----- Forwarded Message ---- Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen Mon, November 30, 2009 11:34:04 AM Re: Re: Relationship problems Dear Jonathan: You have expressed exactly what my situation was in my first marriage to a Norwegian attorney, living in Norway, and the lessons that I learned as a result. The first time I saw him I 'recognized " him and he seemed to have the same response. I told someone that day that I knew we would marry, and we did. I got caught up in the drama of the situation in the sense that for a short time I lost my perspective, (that there was unfinished business from past lives to finish, a belief that conflicted with my Christian faith, but I also " knew " that he would leave me, which seemed to be the only acceptable route at the time, as I didn't believe in divorce. I felt that the only acceptable resolution for me was that he leave, since I felt we needed to resolve the past. He did finally leave, and his second wife has had more than one nervous breakdown and she did finally divorce him, but then took him back because she was alone with no means of support. I said all of that to say this: I am glad I did not " jump ship " but waited for him to do so, because I feel that from my perspective I have resolved all the issues between us. We are friends, and I continue to pray for him, his wife and his 3 daughters by her. His sister and I remained close until she died 2 years ago Sept., and she sent me hundreds of newspaper clippings about his legal entanglements and the lawsuits he and a girlfriend attempted against his then ex-wife and 3 daughters, as well as his 2 periods in jail for tax evasion and insurance fraud. He had lied many times to me about his legal practices as well as other women: Danielle, are you reading this? He also forged my signature on a divorce document to convince his secretary that he was free to engage with her. What kept me sane through all of this and more which I won't write here, was the conviction that I could not change anyone but myself and that I had to learn to forgive both of us for our parts in this fiasco and let go with grace when he left my daughter and I without any financial help at all. I was truly free when I was able to do that. I felt only sadness for him, and as time went on, his second wife and 3 daughters, one of which threatened suicide, but I realized that I had learned all there was to learn with him, and was now free to move on, and I did. Thank you Jonathan, for putting into words the process that sparked this moment of memory for me; I am so glad to have that all behind me. Danielle, in time, you will feel the same. I love you both. Diane  ________________________________ jonrow_2914 <jrowland Mon, November 30, 2009 2:16:17 AM Re: Relationship problems  There have been some fascinating posts on relationship issues. As Shrikant points out unexpected incidents in relationships will occur. In the final analysis many if not most of these occurrences result from ego-driven desires or needs. Frequently they come off a base of selfishness. Often we then counter-react from an equally selfish perspective with our actions reflecting our personality styles (for personality style read " hard-wiring " in the physical). If we stand back one and then review what is taking place, the actions are invariably devoid of tangible influence from any level higher than the physical. Life is all about choices and this is one of the reasons that we are here in the physical in the here and now. We incarnated to expose ourselves to various challenges and in so doing to provide an opportunity to make decisions through our free will. Some of those decisions (the ego-driven ones) will often be wrong and result in pain and anguish. That's the lesson – if we make a decision based on love in its true sense the outcome will be different, while an ego-based decision will cause grief. We hopefully, in the final analysis, learn from those lessons in going forward. Sometimes these harsh and ugly ego-driven relationship experiences are the necessary keys to opening the doors to our understanding of many important aspects of our being – duality, unconditional love, forgiveness, surrender, management of the ego. The damage done by selfishness in relationships strips away all covers and reveals things for what they truly are. If we can the step above the pain and suffering we realise that this event was pre-planned before incarnating to facilitate the test and subsequent lesson. The wrong doer and `victim' are both part of the pre agreed and arranged plan. Coming to terms with the outcome forces us to find our true nature. Depending on our receptivity that can open the door to understanding our true nature – seeing beyond the duality. With duality behind us we see that we are all part of the divine. Unconditional love in its true sense is comprehended and in that light forgiveness is a given – you cannot not forgive that which you are part of on another level. The outcomes for the choices made (or that could have been made) become evident, and true and full understanding of those aspects of our `greater' being that we can understand and comprehend in the physical become crystal clear. In the light of that new knowledge our lives going forward are transformed. Our actions (or reactions) are influenced by our knowledge of unconditional love (awareness, understanding and acceptance – not the touchy feely emotional version). Our changed approach can heal relationship wounds and can help the wrong doer to change for the better. Some wrong doers choose not to change – their lessons are then still to be learned. That's life in the physical. Of note and if you accept the concept of reincarnation, you and your current partner, on a higher level, chose to be here simultaneously and to go through some of the grueling scenarios that we are faced with. If you can both see and accept that, that also provides a platform for finding understanding together. That is however, in many cases, easier said than done. If you can open that door to true unconditional love the world will never be the same again. Understanding and comprehension abounds. The physical world becomes an incredible classroom and life becomes wonderful. There are still ugly moments – that will always be the case but, as k-active or awakening individuals and in the comprehension of unconditional love and in surrendering to higher aspects of our being, the ugliness now has tangible meaning and our challenge is then one of learning from it all. Blessings - Jonathan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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