Checking in..

[Guest guest]

Hi folks,

 

its been an interesting few months. Essentially I have been on retreat in

Durban, spending lots of time alone and havent been working, although i have

been praying about career, job and finances. I have been blessed to have the use

of an apartment without needing to pay rent, so Shakti has blessed me

tremendously. When I arrived in Durban mid September, I started to look for a

job, then stopped as I was feeling stressed, and Shakti gave me clear signs that

there was another way open for me, and I should wait.

 

So, I waited and decided to 'seek first the kingdom of God' with my whole heart

and see what happens. I spent a few weeks in bliss, as well as contemplating

what I most wanted to do with my life, what was important to me,studying

scipture, asking God questions, what my talents were and so on.

 

A few weeks ago, I had the slightest shift in meditation. I was deep in

meditation, effortlessly resting in the outside sounds of the rain, when there

was a subtle, yet exciting shift, a deeper release into more profound freedom.

This fine shift kicked off anothe round of release and purification in the

physical body, and i went through some weeks of challenging days, energetic

cycles up and down, vibrations, loads of inner energy movements, etc. Along the

way I quit coffee again.. haha.. which has been an excellent move. There were

many tests that followed sequentially, most involving free choice and what it

means to choose freely from love and possibility, and not directed by fear of

survival and accecptance.

 

(This has been an interesting question... how free are we? If our breaths are

numbered, our destinies planned, the people we will meet and the lessons we need

to learn arranged, then are we free? And in meditation, freedom comes out of

choiceless awareness.. so the union of choiceless awareness with the choice of

destiny is very interesting..)

 

What been fascinating is that my mother (who is still deeply suspicious of

'eastern influences') has had energetic cycles matching mine, with her own

physical issues emerging as mine emerge. I started coming out a few days ago;

Friday I felt more normal, Saturday even better and Sunday optimistic and

radiant. In the few weeks, I maintained the intentions of gratitude, love and

blessings, even though I didnt feel that way...

 

There were several signs of metamorphosis. Shakti bought a baby bird into my

apartment about a month ago, which unfortunatly died. I had dreams of new

births. I felt the bird was a sign that something fragile was emerging and

needed to be nurtured. Last week I was bought another baby bird by a neigbhour.

It was tiny, maybe 6 cm, yet it could fly. I didnt know if I should keep it or

trust life, so I decided that it would be okay if I freed it, which I did. it

sat for about an hour on the tree, then took off, flying about 40 meters into a

much higher tree. A day later my mother gave me a vision she had of me, which

was of a butterfyl that had been in a cocoon, and had emerged, then needed to

wait for a while as its wings grew stronger...

 

SO, I am emerging out. This morning I again felt good, and had a stunning dream.

The dream literally felt as though it was a feature length movie, with bright

bright colors...

 

dream.. " Some children are on a boat in the ocean. They are being taken on an

adventure into the ocean and will dive together under the water, supported by a

long oxygen line. A large line with an electric end has been lowered under water

to scare away sharks. Under the ocean a little boy lives alone in a secret

underwater palace. The underwater palace is a rich mansion, which is very old

with thick walls. A giant lion is guarding the palace. The lion keeps the boy in

and danger out – it reminds me of a movie wayne saw – The children are sent down

on a group diving mission, and by chance they dive near the underwater palace.

Helpers in the underwater palace come out and bring them gifts of cake and toys

and blessings. I am thinking just how blessed thety are to find this secret

place. There are fantastic colors of red and blue. There a few adults in the

exploration group – one of the adults, a black man, one is given a magical

circular drinking flask with endless magic alcohol – he must start a bar and

share 50/50 with a member from church. Not all the children on the boat were

with the group that went down. The ones that went down near the palace are given

gifts. The lion is transformed into an exquisite little brass toy statue of a

soldier on a horse. The statue is taken by one of the children back to the

earthly home and put in a house and on a shelf, yet it retains the power and

life of the lion imbued within it to watch over the house. All the gifts taken

from the ocean are of the highest quality and workmanship… "

 

I awoke feeling Gods grace after the dream and quickly wrote it down. K. is a

fascinating ride.. I feel its important not to get caught up in the day to day

happenings. but to let these transformations run their course over time...

 

love and emergence

bruce

[Guest guest]

Interesting point Bruce, about our freedom.

 

I was thinking about just that the other day. I thought, If I am seeking

enlightenment, k-awakening and spiritual progression, then it will either happen

for me or it wont. If it does, it was always going to, and if it doesnt, it

never was...

 

I talked to my wife about that. Her thinking was that if I just relaxed and

stopped worrying about the future I wouldn't put the effort in and things

wouldn't happen for me. I disagreed. I said, if its my future to put the effort

in, then I will. Hah ha! (she began ignoring me at that point and turned the tv

on)

 

As double dutch as that sounds, its also quite a relaxing thought. I cant do

anything about my future, its always going to unfold exactly how it will.

 

And I concur on the coffee, I gave it up for about 6 months, then started

drinking it again last week. Eugh, do I ever feel bad off it. Time to quit it

again for good I think. Green tea all the way lol

 

Andy