re: dreams and ramblings

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Playing hookey from work today and layed around & watched movies & played with

my cats. Been having some emotional upheaval. Been doing my practices and

asking shakti to show me areas that need healing and my dreams have been

pointing the direction. one dream had a man in it, a relationship i had over

two decades ago that was really sick. it was about power, manipulation,

control. all this shame and pain swelled up and i cried & cried. i thought i

had let this go but apparently there were residual effects. i have a lot of

s@xual healing going on and as i walk through these things that come up for

healing, i feel a greater sense of love for myself. the dancing has been really

bringing this all up. there are the nicest men that go to dance. i had a guy

the other night that i felt myself about to step on his foot but i couldn't stop

it from happening (it happens alot actually). my brain didn't respond in time.

i apologized & told him I couldn't stop it. he said, no problem, i polish my

shoes alot.

 

I had a dream about a wolf-like dog i felt was after me. I had a more tame dog

with me that i was protecting as well as myself. i got us into a grocery store

and made sure the door closed to keep the dog/wolf out. there were a lot of

dogs in the grocery store. then i was out walking along train tracks in a field

and saw a friend of mine. she screamed and I thought the dog/wolf was there but

she said no, the tall grass was tickling her.

 

i don't feel very connected right now to this group. maybe in saying it it will

help resolve this. i think this has been the story of my life, not feeling

connected but it has been surfacing in a strong way right now. not just here

but other places as well. i know there is no separation but my ego doesn't buy

this. i also don't often know what to say in response to others posts so I

don't say anything. i wonder if others have gone through this?

love and blessings,

jan

[Guest guest]

 

 

 

 

________________________________

yogijan <drjandean

 

Tue, December 8, 2009 1:59:32 PM

re: dreams and ramblings

 

Dear Jan:  Yes, I can relate to your feelings, especially about not knowing how

to respond to some of the posts.  I feel like  I can't relate to where they

are in their experiences and vice versa.  Why this is so, I don't know.  I've

wondered if it's because I am so much older (68 years old), or if  there is

another factor I haven't considered.  I do not say any of this critically or

judgementally, just with a sense of it being the fact.  I am very glad you had

the courage to post your feeling about this, because I felt I was probably alone

in my feelings.  Since you are so much younger than I am, maybe it isn't a

matter of age.  I tend to be very serious minded, so in my case, that might be

a factor.  In any case, i say again:  you are not alone.  Peace and Love  

Diane

 

 

 

 

 

 

i don't feel very connected right now to this group. maybe in saying it it will

help resolve this. i think this has been the story of my life, not feeling

connected but it has been surfacing in a strong way right now. not just here but

other places as well. i know there is no separation but my ego doesn't buy this.

i also don't often know what to say in response to others posts so I don't say

anything. i wonder if others have gone through this?

love and blessings,

jan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,  thank you for sharing your day and your dreams.  

Being connected is something that seems to come and go with me too and I imagne

it probably does for all of us?   

I am not sure at all that there is " no seperation " I know that is what everyone

says , but in my own experience the all, the oneness and the nothingness are

the same thing, connected! ( I could be very wrong about that of course!) but

if the oneness and the nothingness are the same I think that likewise  the

connected and the disconnected are also the same.  I would prefer when my

experience is being connected ,  it makes living my life easier.    When

this not connected experience comes I am challenged not to abandon my authentic

self and listen to ego promptings.   When I experience being not

connected my ego voice becomes  loud and tries to overpower my authentic

self.  ,

Thank God and K I am not abandoning my authentic self as much as I would have

done in times gone by.  I think K provides me with the opportunity of being

disconnected to test the authentic me.  Maybe maybe not.  not sure if I have

explained that at all but in case there is some morsel of sense in there I will

post.

love Julia.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

yogijan <drjandean

 

Tue, December 8, 2009 9:59:32 PM

re: dreams and ramblings

 

 

Hi everyone,

Playing hookey from work today and layed around & watched movies & played with

my cats. Been having some emotional upheaval. Been doing my practices and asking

shakti to show me areas that need healing and my dreams have been pointing the

direction. one dream had a man in it, a relationship i had over two decades ago

that was really sick. it was about power, manipulation, control. all this shame

and pain swelled up and i cried & cried. i thought i had let this go but

apparently there were residual effects. i have a lot of s@xual healing going on

and as i walk through these things that come up for healing, i feel a greater

sense of love for myself. the dancing has been really bringing this all up.

there are the nicest men that go to dance. i had a guy the other night that i

felt myself about to step on his foot but i couldn't stop it from happening (it

happens alot actually). my brain didn't respond in time. i apologized & told him

I couldn't stop it. he

said, no problem, i polish my shoes alot.

 

I had a dream about a wolf-like dog i felt was after me. I had a more tame dog

with me that i was protecting as well as myself. i got us into a grocery store

and made sure the door closed to keep the dog/wolf out. there were a lot of dogs

in the grocery store. then i was out walking along train tracks in a field and

saw a friend of mine. she screamed and I thought the dog/wolf was there but she

said no, the tall grass was tickling her.

 

i don't feel very connected right now to this group. maybe in saying it it will

help resolve this. i think this has been the story of my life, not feeling

connected but it has been surfacing in a strong way right now. not just here but

other places as well. i know there is no separation but my ego doesn't buy this.

i also don't often know what to say in response to others posts so I don't say

anything. i wonder if others have gone through this?

love and blessings,

jan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Diane,

When chrism starts to post and write again we will all be connected to the

living word.

Love Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________

Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen

 

Tue, December 8, 2009 11:43:39 PM

Re: re: dreams and ramblings

 

 

 

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

yogijan <drjandean (AT) hotmail (DOT) com>

Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1

Tue, December 8, 2009 1:59:32 PM

[Kundalini-Awakenin g-Systems- 1] re: dreams and ramblings

 

Dear Jan:  Yes, I can relate to your feelings, especially about not knowing how

to respond to some of the posts.  I feel like  I can't relate to where they

are in their experiences and vice versa.  Why this is so, I don't know.  I've

wondered if it's because I am so much older (68 years old), or if  there is

another factor I haven't considered..  I do not say any of this critically or

judgementally, just with a sense of it being the fact.  I am very glad you had

the courage to post your feeling about this, because I felt I was probably alone

in my feelings.  Since you are so much younger than I am, maybe it isn't a

matter of age.  I tend to be very serious minded, so in my case, that might be

a factor.  In any case, i say again:  you are not alone.  Peace and Love  

Diane

 

 

 

 

 

 

i don't feel very connected right now to this group. maybe in saying it it will

help resolve this. i think this has been the story of my life, not feeling

connected but it has been surfacing in a strong way right now.. not just here

but other places as well. i know there is no separation but my ego doesn't buy

this. i also don't often know what to say in response to others posts so I don't

say anything. i wonder if others have gone through this?

love and blessings,

jan

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan,

 

I always enjoy reading your postcards and hearing how you're doing, especially

with the dance lessons!

 

I think feeling connected waxes and wanes for most people, but there's nothing

like shame to make us feel isolated and alone. So, thank you for reaching out

and connecting in spite of the emotional upheavals.

 

I just want you to know that I think of you often and send you warm thoughts.

Please know that even when you don't feel connected to the group, others still

feel connected to you, and that you are loved and appreciated regardless of

whatever is happening in your day.

 

Peace,

Shaz

 

" yogijan " wrote:

>

> i don't feel very connected right now to this group. maybe in saying it it

will help resolve this.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan, I feel disconnected at times too. I think for me it more like what Julia

sied, my ego is the culprit.

 

I love reading about your dreams and your dance class experiences. It sounds

like a really fun thing to do. Back when I was having a lot of my dog dreams I

was going through a time of feeling very disconnected everyone, family and

friends. Often My little dog would be in those dreams and I would be protecting

him from these dogs that were wanting to attack both of us. In one of the dreams

I actually laid down on top of my little dog to give him protection. I woke

up before the dog attacked.

 

I often do not know how to reply to a post either even when I would like too..

 

Love,

Linda

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

i don't feel very connected right now to this group. maybe in saying it it will

help resolve this. i think this has been the story of my life, not feeling

connected but it has been surfacing in a strong way right now. not just here

but other places as well. i know there is no separation but my ego doesn't buy

this. i also don't often know what to say in response to others posts so I

don't say anything. i wonder if others have gone through this?

> love and blessings,

> jan

>

[Guest guest]

Jan:

You are not alone in feeling disconnected. I have felt this all my life. I

think perhaps it was a preparation for being with K. The path is one of

aloneness. We each have our unique journey and yes we can be part of this

loving and caring ashram yet we ultimately have to come to grips with our inner

demons alone.

 

 

And yes I too have trouble at times finding the words to answer others posts.

What do I have to say that is of importance to anyone. And yet- and yet - my

words manifest who I am and how I feel inside my inner ashram and others will

feel some of my same feelings.

 

Each of us are unique and if we think of the other first and put ourselves in

their shoes perhaps it will be easier to find the words that will guide and

offer new insights. And if we are grateful for the blessed opportunity of

walking with our brothers and sisters here in this community the words may come

more easily.

 

 

If no words come to mind a simple thank you for sharing will go a long way. And

that simple thank you will manifest for you a greater love for and from the one

thanked.

 

Jan I thank you for being open and sharing of yourself with me and this

community. You gain me an opportunity to ramble.

 

From the safeties:

Be grateful to your family and friends and perfect strangers for what they bring

to your life and the opportunities that come your way.

Remember your thank yous...

 

Namaste

e

[Guest guest]

Dear my beloved K family,

I appreciate all your posts and feel very connected with each of you as a result

of your sharing. You each gave me food for thought. Yes, , thank-you for

reminding me to say my thank-yous. Thank-you Julia for your sharing. it made

more sense than you think. And Shaz, it is true about shame being separating.

I think the tears washed some of it away.

 

I went dancing last night and every month we learn a new dance. This month

we're learning the hustle. I never really liked disco but I have to say the

hustle is really fun. Its fast and swirling. What do disco gals wear, anyway?

We were all doing the arm gestures as well. I spend the day humming the song

(not sure what its called) " its the hustle. "

Love to you all,

Jan

 

, " " .

wrote:

>

>

>

> Jan:

> You are not alone in feeling disconnected. I have felt this all my life. I

think perhaps it was a preparation for being with K. The path is one of

aloneness. We each have our unique journey and yes we can be part of this

loving and caring ashram yet we ultimately have to come to grips with our inner

demons alone.

>

>

> And yes I too have trouble at times finding the words to answer others posts.

What do I have to say that is of importance to anyone. And yet- and yet - my

words manifest who I am and how I feel inside my inner ashram and others will

feel some of my same feelings.

>

> Each of us are unique and if we think of the other first and put ourselves in

their shoes perhaps it will be easier to find the words that will guide and

offer new insights. And if we are grateful for the blessed opportunity of

walking with our brothers and sisters here in this community the words may come

more easily.

>

>

> If no words come to mind a simple thank you for sharing will go a long way.

And that simple thank you will manifest for you a greater love for and from the

one thanked.

>

> Jan I thank you for being open and sharing of yourself with me and this

community. You gain me an opportunity to ramble.

>

> From the safeties:

> Be grateful to your family and friends and perfect strangers for what they

bring to your life and the opportunities that come your way.

> Remember your thank yous...

>

> Namaste

> e

>

[Guest guest]

Gee, thanks for the earworm!

 

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot-doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot-doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot

it's the hustle!

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot-doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot-doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot-doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot-doot,

doot doot doot, doot-doot do-do doot..

 

--- " yogijan " wrote:

I spend the day humming the song (not sure what its called) " its the hustle. "