The Body

[Guest guest]

Doing some sorting again here! The energy has calmed down the past 3 - 4

days, so therefore I am calming down as well. What used to be weakness seems to

have turned to stiffness. The most recent thing that has come into my awareness

is that the past two days, my pinky finger is extending (spreading out from the

other fingers.) This brought into my awareness that whenever I drink from a

cup, I have been unconciously placing my pinky finger at the bottom of the cup.

(Probably been doing that all of my life, but never noticed until now.)

 

I am not very familiar with yoga, so therefore don't know what a yoga kriya

is supposed to do. What I have noticed is that the spontaneous movements that I

have experienced are bringing into my awareness instead, habits or repetitive

movements. Such as the pinky one mentioned above. But also the " click finger "

because I am on the computer so much, pointing the foot when driving, etc. One

time, my shoulders spontaneously pulled backwards once in my sleep and woke me

up. Another time, my shoulders shrugged upwards spontaneously in my sleep.

 

A few days ago when I was having terrible fear, I decided that I needed to

recreate a " joyous " emotion. So, I remembered when I was a child and had lots

of energy and used to run and jump. I decided to try it (very weird for me now)

and I ran and jumped a few times and then named it the " happy dance " which my

dog thoroughly enjoyed doing with me. That night, my feet spontaneously

recreated the " jump " in my sleep.

 

One thing that puzzles me is this: I had come to believe that spiritual

enlightenment meant to identify with the Spiritual Self and " give no thought to

the body. " Yet, instead, since the K became active again this last month, I

find that I am totally preoccupied with the body. So I am wondering, why this

preoccupation with the body if we are supposed to be losing identity with the

body?

 

Work has gotten better, except maybe in the mornings I am feeling a little

" out of it, " like I am not in control of my body, and then I take an

anti-anxiety pill and then I am okay the rest of the day.

 

Tonight, I listened to Chrism's wav files and then did the 5 Tibetans

again. This is the first time in a long time that I did the whole round.

Although I have done a moderated version for some time now. (Lazy, I guess.) I

drank water and ate carrots tonight. I did a meditation for about an hour

praying for clarity and just experienced extreme cold (which I sometimes wonder

if this is not extreme goosebumps) and my right hand did this thing on its own,

but it didn't last. Probably because the phone rang.

 

Before all of this started, I was very deep into an internet project when

all of a sudden I couldn't type. That is what led me back here and I put the

whole internet project on hold and realized I needed to do some introspection.

(Or rather, I had no choice.) As you can see, the typing ability has returned

pretty good. I am seeing Kundalini in a whole new light. Three years ago, it

was way too radical for me and I thought it was totally weird (no offense to

anyone.) Now I realize that I am equally weird, so now it feels comforting

because " weirdness needs company! " LOL! Denial isn't working anymore. It is

not like I can deny that my body is freaking out.

 

I am reinterpreting the safeties as a beautiful thing. Apparently, I

needed to integrate this experience before moving forward with my internet

project, and not sure where to go with it now, so that is why I am praying for

clarity. Right now, my two top priorities are clarity and the ability to

function and communicate.

 

All in all, I am improving and thank the group for helping me to feel less

frightened about the whole thing.

 

Love,

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

 

What you did when you felt fear is exactly what suggests.  Recall a

joyful time and bring this to mind and experience the joy in the present. Well

done!

 

You asked "  So I am wondering, why this preoccupation with the body if we are

supposed to be losing identity with the body? "   What I have come to know for

myself is that because of the " preoccupation with the body " my awareness and

perception of my body has changed dramatically.   I now  " know and feel " it as

seperate from me, ( i always knew in theory but now I am living it)  My body is

a gift given to me, and I am loving and respecting it in a way that I have not

done previously.  I know and experience my body to be a temple and I am very

thankful to it for all it does to serve that purpose, and to serve me.  I wish

to care for it and nourish it and look after it.  My body  is the place my

spirit/soul lives, where shakti lives.  In my body God has eyes, God has

ears.... my body can do service for God.   I really do not understand it all

but I do know that the " preoccupation " and the work that is done by K on and

within the body somehow

gives freedom to the body in a way I had not experienced before. For me this

has taken some time and it is still in process but I am recognising the

relationship I have with my body and it has been K who has shown this to me..

 

Be not afraid Deb.  All is well.

 

Love Julia

 

 

 

 

________________________________

" Deb111222 " <Deb111222

 

Fri, December 18, 2009 5:37:20 AM

The Body

 

 

 

Doing some sorting again here! The energy has calmed down the past 3 - 4 days,

so therefore I am calming down as well. What used to be weakness seems to have

turned to stiffness. The most recent thing that has come into my awareness is

that the past two days, my pinky finger is extending (spreading out from the

other fingers.) This brought into my awareness that whenever I drink from a cup,

I have been unconciously placing my pinky finger at the bottom of the cup.

(Probably been doing that all of my life, but never noticed until now.)

 

I am not very familiar with yoga, so therefore don't know what a yoga kriya is

supposed to do. What I have noticed is that the spontaneous movements that I

have experienced are bringing into my awareness instead, habits or repetitive

movements. Such as the pinky one mentioned above. But also the " click finger "

because I am on the computer so much, pointing the foot when driving, etc. One

time, my shoulders spontaneously pulled backwards once in my sleep and woke me

up. Another time, my shoulders shrugged upwards spontaneously in my sleep.

 

A few days ago when I was having terrible fear, I decided that I needed to

recreate a " joyous " emotion. So, I remembered when I was a child and had lots of

energy and used to run and jump. I decided to try it (very weird for me now) and

I ran and jumped a few times and then named it the " happy dance " which my dog

thoroughly enjoyed doing with me. That night, my feet spontaneously recreated

the " jump " in my sleep.

 

One thing that puzzles me is this: I had come to believe that spiritual

enlightenment meant to identify with the Spiritual Self and " give no thought to

the body. " Yet, instead, since the K became active again this last month, I find

that I am totally preoccupied with the body. So I am wondering, why this

preoccupation with the body if we are supposed to be losing identity with the

body?

 

Work has gotten better, except maybe in the mornings I am feeling a little " out

of it, " like I am not in control of my body, and then I take an anti-anxiety

pill and then I am okay the rest of the day.

 

Tonight, I listened to Chrism's wav files and then did the 5 Tibetans again.

This is the first time in a long time that I did the whole round. Although I

have done a moderated version for some time now. (Lazy, I guess.) I drank water

and ate carrots tonight. I did a meditation for about an hour praying for

clarity and just experienced extreme cold (which I sometimes wonder if this is

not extreme goosebumps) and my right hand did this thing on its own, but it

didn't last. Probably because the phone rang.

 

Before all of this started, I was very deep into an internet project when all of

a sudden I couldn't type. That is what led me back here and I put the whole

internet project on hold and realized I needed to do some introspection. (Or

rather, I had no choice.) As you can see, the typing ability has returned pretty

good. I am seeing Kundalini in a whole new light. Three years ago, it was way

too radical for me and I thought it was totally weird (no offense to anyone.)

Now I realize that I am equally weird, so now it feels comforting because

" weirdness needs company! " LOL! Denial isn't working anymore. It is not like I

can deny that my body is freaking out.

 

I am reinterpreting the safeties as a beautiful thing. Apparently, I needed to

integrate this experience before moving forward with my internet project, and

not sure where to go with it now, so that is why I am praying for clarity. Right

now, my two top priorities are clarity and the ability to function and

communicate.

 

All in all, I am improving and thank the group for helping me to feel less

frightened about the whole thing.

 

Love,

Deb

 

 

[Guest guest]

Julia:

 

What I have come to know for myself is that because of the " preoccupation with

the body " my awareness and perception of my body has changed dramatically. I

now " know and feel " it as seperate from me, ( i always knew in theory but now I

am living it) My body is a gift given to me, and I am loving and respecting it

in a way that I have not done previously.

 

 

 

Deb: Yes, I know what you mean, Julia - that is exactly what is happening to

me! That deal with the twitching in the face gave me this incredible

fascination and appreciation for the complexity of our bodies and what they do

for us. And I am also much more appreciative and being much kinder to the body.

Last year when it happened, I remember layin in bed and just observing what was

happening and thinking how strange, but as you say, it seemed " separate " from

me. Like I was observing it.

 

I still need to give up the resistance to stop smoking, though. My ego is

really fighting that one big time, but I know if I would do it, the experience

of all of this would be so much more pleasant. You know you're addicted when

your face contorts whenever you light up and you STILL smoke! However, the

number has been reduced dramatically. Just can't quite let go all the way.

Also, having a couple of drinks makes my legs vibrate and drinking coffee upsets

my stomach now. So, still some resistance there, too. I'm finding it very

challenging to become quite that perfect! That was not in my plans! So, not

there yet, but very much aware of what K is requesting of me.

 

I very much appreciate your perspective, Julia. Thank you so much for your

kindness.

 

Love,

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Deb,

 

From one ex smoker, who  is far far from perfect..lol!

This is going to sound silly, well probably will sound like very bad advice, it

is from my own expeerience so it is of course very subjective, so take it as

that for what it might be worth to you, or not. 

I suggest that you let go of the insistance that you give up the smoking! 

It is known you want to stop feeding your body niccotine. It has been known for

a while and as you listen more and more to K and to your bodym this known

information will change and touch you deeply.

So for now, don't let your ego keep you engaged with that battle.  Listen and

be quiet.

One day, I just know it, the desire to put nicotine into your body will just

leave you.  Seriously it will leave you and you will stop somoking.

Sounds to easy to be true...it is! lol!

Love Julia

 

 

 

 

________________________________

" Deb111222 " <Deb111222

 

Fri, December 18, 2009 4:03:19 PM

Re: The Body

 

 

Julia:

 

What I have come to know for myself is that because of the " preoccupation with

the body " my awareness and perception of my body has changed dramatically. I now

" know and feel " it as seperate from me, ( i always knew in theory but now I am

living it) My body is a gift given to me, and I am loving and respecting it in a

way that I have not done previously.

 

Deb: Yes, I know what you mean, Julia - that is exactly what is happening to me!

That deal with the twitching in the face gave me this incredible fascination and

appreciation for the complexity of our bodies and what they do for us. And I am

also much more appreciative and being much kinder to the body. Last year when it

happened, I remember layin in bed and just observing what was happening and

thinking how strange, but as you say, it seemed " separate " from me. Like I was

observing it.

 

I still need to give up the resistance to stop smoking, though. My ego is really

fighting that one big time, but I know if I would do it, the experience of all

of this would be so much more pleasant. You know you're addicted when your face

contorts whenever you light up and you STILL smoke! However, the number has been

reduced dramatically. Just can't quite let go all the way. Also, having a couple

of drinks makes my legs vibrate and drinking coffee upsets my stomach now. So,

still some resistance there, too. I'm finding it very challenging to become

quite that perfect! That was not in my plans! So, not there yet, but very much

aware of what K is requesting of me.

 

I very much appreciate your perspective, Julia. Thank you so much for your

kindness.

 

Love,

Deb

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you Julia - I have wondered the same thing, since I do seem to be

smoking less and less, that maybe one day I just wouldn't want it at all

anymore. It could happen!

 

Deb