The Bod - to Deb

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb...very good read. I can also resonate with you on these experiences you

are having because of K. I also take anxiety meds for this very reason. I have

found that the kundalini energies will clear the way for our bodies to handle

the newfound energies. Its also helpful to know that this is just your

experience with kundalini and No you are NOT losing your mind even though at

times we may think we have gone totally insane. I like that fact that we here

can come on line and share our feelings and thoughts about what we are going

thru without judgment but with loving support. To not be afraid to say whatever

in the best way we know how. During my healing time away I tried to read the

group postings even though I did not have the energy to type. I can even listen

if I was to tired to read. I watched how many of us have grown and the way we

used to type/chose our words. Express what we really desire to say with ease and

preciseness. Kundalini is a

always a day in my ife...I have many daily symptoms and a few really close ones

that I miss when those symptoms are absent. One of my ways of knowing it is

still there is by tuning into the top of my head...if it is clicking and or

buzzing then I know K is present with me.

 

More later...my eyesight just went totally burry. Time to shut the reading and

typing down.

 

Namaste'

Denny

 

 

 

________________________________

" Deb111222 " <Deb111222

 

Thu, December 17, 2009 11:37:20 PM

The Body

 

 

 

Doing some sorting again here! The energy has calmed down the past 3 - 4 days,

so therefore I am calming down as well. What used to be weakness seems to have

turned to stiffness. The most recent thing that has come into my awareness is

that the past two days, my pinky finger is extending (spreading out from the

other fingers.) This brought into my awareness that whenever I drink from a cup,

I have been unconciously placing my pinky finger at the bottom of the cup.

(Probably been doing that all of my life, but never noticed until now.)

 

I am not very familiar with yoga, so therefore don't know what a yoga kriya is

supposed to do. What I have noticed is that the spontaneous movements that I

have experienced are bringing into my awareness instead, habits or repetitive

movements. Such as the pinky one mentioned above. But also the " click finger "

because I am on the computer so much, pointing the foot when driving, etc. One

time, my shoulders spontaneously pulled backwards once in my sleep and woke me

up. Another time, my shoulders shrugged upwards spontaneously in my sleep.

 

A few days ago when I was having terrible fear, I decided that I needed to

recreate a " joyous " emotion. So, I remembered when I was a child and had lots of

energy and used to run and jump. I decided to try it (very weird for me now) and

I ran and jumped a few times and then named it the " happy dance " which my dog

thoroughly enjoyed doing with me. That night, my feet spontaneously recreated

the " jump " in my sleep.

 

One thing that puzzles me is this: I had come to believe that spiritual

enlightenment meant to identify with the Spiritual Self and " give no thought to

the body. " Yet, instead, since the K became active again this last month, I find

that I am totally preoccupied with the body. So I am wondering, why this

preoccupation with the body if we are supposed to be losing identity with the

body?

 

Work has gotten better, except maybe in the mornings I am feeling a little " out

of it, " like I am not in control of my body, and then I take an anti-anxiety

pill and then I am okay the rest of the day.

 

Tonight, I listened to Chrism's wav files and then did the 5 Tibetans again.

This is the first time in a long time that I did the whole round. Although I

have done a moderated version for some time now. (Lazy, I guess.) I drank water

and ate carrots tonight. I did a meditation for about an hour praying for

clarity and just experienced extreme cold (which I sometimes wonder if this is

not extreme goosebumps) and my right hand did this thing on its own, but it

didn't last. Probably because the phone rang.

 

Before all of this started, I was very deep into an internet project when all of

a sudden I couldn't type. That is what led me back here and I put the whole

internet project on hold and realized I needed to do some introspection. (Or

rather, I had no choice.) As you can see, the typing ability has returned pretty

good. I am seeing Kundalini in a whole new light. Three years ago, it was way

too radical for me and I thought it was totally weird (no offense to anyone.)

Now I realize that I am equally weird, so now it feels comforting because

" weirdness needs company! " LOL! Denial isn't working anymore. It is not like I

can deny that my body is freaking out.

 

I am reinterpreting the safeties as a beautiful thing. Apparently, I needed to

integrate this experience before moving forward with my internet project, and

not sure where to go with it now, so that is why I am praying for clarity. Right

now, my two top priorities are clarity and the ability to function and

communicate.

 

All in all, I am improving and thank the group for helping me to feel less

frightened about the whole thing.

 

Love,

Deb