Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 All~ This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini. Love and thank you. ~Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 You sound very normal to me...............inner changes all good. Richard. iamwaitingmoon Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:26:01 +0000 What is this death? All~ This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini. Love and thank you. ~Danielle _______________ Eligible CDN College & University students can upgrade to Windows 7 before Jan 3 for only $39.99. Upgrade now! http://go.microsoft.com/?linkid=9691819 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dearest Danielle, I think that perhaps in K we really come to know death in this life and we learn to disceern and to integrate it into the holy work of living. Death is an ongoing experience I feel.  I do not have the words to describe what I mean. I would like to share what Kahlil Gibran wrote about death. You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? the owl wholse night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystry of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart  wide unto the body of life. for life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. In depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond: And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling that he shall wear the mark of theking? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt inot the sun? And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall beging to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance. Love Julia.  ________________________________ iamwaitingmoon <iamwaitingmoon Fri, December 18, 2009 4:26:01 PM What is this death?  All~ This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination- this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini.. Love and thank you. ~Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dear Danielle, I have had this longing for " Death " in the past. It was borne not out of despair or hopelessness but from bliss. I thought to myself, if i feel so much bliss now, how would it feel if i come face to face with God? Now, i learned from that we have so much more to learn, that this existence needs to absorb more lessons to be able to approach Enlightenment. I dont long for death anymore, i am seeking to surrender totally to Shakti to let my will be attuned to the will of the Kundalini for me. I am longing for the Sacred marriage, the union of the physical with the Divine. I dont know if these helps but my Shakti would not left me alone if i dont post ..lol. love, edgar ________________________________ iamwaitingmoon <iamwaitingmoon Fri, December 18, 2009 8:26:01 AM What is this death?  All~ This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest • Un • Terms of Use .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Hi Danielle, (oh, and Julia, thanks for the K.Gibrain words... lovely) My understanding is that death occurrs at times of release and transformation into something greater. In consciosuness development, sometimes there are major transitions, such as surrender of the mind to the soul, the surrender of the soul to emptiness, and the surrender of the witness to non-duality. Sometimes minor death occurr, such as the release of an old pattern of behaviour. I like to use the phrase 'transcend and include'. What this means to me is that an attachment (or identification) to a way of behavoiour, or an energy, (for example a belief system of s%xual energy, (and this attachment can also be disempowering, in that we are attached to negative patterns too)) is overcome. The process is more 'negate the pattern, die to it, transcend it, and include its valuable functionality in a higher functioning. Again, using s#xual energy as an example, if a man is addicted to sex, he would have to negate or frustrate the impulse, the self that find a home in the pleasure needs to be died to, the higher self embraced and the s'3xual energy transmuted to a higher purpose. The death of the aspect of self that is identified with the aspect of form is nearly always painful. Its good to grieve for that part that dies, for there is a sadness in the loss, even though its a gateway to liberation.. love and life Bruce , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > All~ > This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. > It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. > I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? > > *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini. > > Love and thank you. > ~Danielle > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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