Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dear Danielle, I think death as you speak of it is part of the spiritual process, a falling away of things we attach to including who we think we are, other people, etc. The first time I recall feeling this feeling of death was at a yoga retreat many years ago. we had done a pranayama practice. After class, I felt intense fear and realized part of my ego-structure was falling away and I felt scared of losing my identity, my ground, who I thought I was, pretense. I, personally, have had a few large death experiences and many mini ones. I wonder if surrender eases the process and perspective some? Not sure this makes any sense but this is what came to me reading your post. so, as Ricard said, sounds normal, par for the course, to me. Love and blessings, Jan , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > All~ > This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. > It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. > I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? > > *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini. > > Love and thank you. > ~Danielle > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Hi Danielle, agreeing with Jan and Richard and just wanted to say that I remember now it can feel as though you're literally gripped by these feelings. There can be a very noticeable physical feeling which leads to the thoughts that one is uncomfortable here or emotionally estranged from everything. But as I remember this it was physical first and I searched myself to understand what could've have caused it. It lingered for hours and I was on a classroom field trip with a big batch of 4th graders, a fellow teacher, a parent chaperone and the staff at the nature center we were visiting. Every moment of it seemed to last too long. I wanted to tear away from being there if I could've knowing full well it was inconceivable for me to do so (afterall that's why I still have a liscence). What I think it means for me, is that if something happens like this or the kriyas, dream states and other phenomena stop- I come back to first cause... Who are You. I ask myself. Then I continue with life's activities, I love my family and love the world of the 5 senses. And then some. Love Anna drjandean Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:38:00 +0000 Re: What is this death? - Danielle Dear Danielle, I think death as you speak of it is part of the spiritual process, a falling away of things we attach to including who we think we are, other people, etc. The first time I recall feeling this feeling of death was at a yoga retreat many years ago. we had done a pranayama practice. After class, I felt intense fear and realized part of my ego-structure was falling away and I felt scared of losing my identity, my ground, who I thought I was, pretense. I, personally, have had a few large death experiences and many mini ones. I wonder if surrender eases the process and perspective some? Not sure this makes any sense but this is what came to me reading your post. so, as Ricard said, sounds normal, par for the course, to me. Love and blessings, Jan , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > All~ > This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. > It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. > I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? > > *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini. > > Love and thank you. > ~Danielle > _______________ Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. http://clk.atdmt.com/GBL/go/171222984/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Death is our constant companion. Life is our constant companion. Our cells die and our reborn in their offspring. A kiss has a start and a finish. Yet does the love of the kiss as it is given in that moment ever die? No it does not. It is ever there frozen in love no matter what occurs in other moments. With Kundalini we are there. We are frozen in a warm and gentle love. We are allowed to ask and to wonder about what is death and what is life and the answers are given in ways that are felt and seeped into our consciousness so that we can begin to understand through the unique experiences that we are given that we are a multiverse of life and death held together through divine love. We are given into the arms of death in every moment. And at the same time we are given into the arms of life in every moment. With Kundalini we can feel these moments in detail. Yet in our ego need for explanation we can often come into conclusions that will omit the divine force and agenda behind and within this great beautiful tapestry of transformation. Life and death are interwoven threads of divine expression. This sacred weave is our school and our crucible. We are inside of a tremendous gift. We are at a point of transcendence where we can begin to see the threads of the body through the lens of the divine and in our infancy of understanding we will question the validity of why and where and how and what. We are given the answers to these questions from the " feelings " and experiences that happen to us outside and yet inside of didactic offerings of written and living teachers and also we are given into the divine teachers of whom we see on the street or in the parking garage and in our dreams and in our work places. We see the dance and yet we are sometimes timid in learning it. With Kundalini we are out on the dance floor moving to a new and grace driven beat of gentle and magnificent transformative music. It can be difficult to figure out sometimes! Yet even so we are out there learning it! The music for the dance is of that tapestry of life and death and the teachings of transcendence. - blessings to all who have responded to Danielle's post. You are wonderful teachers all! - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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