What is this death? Danielle

[Guest guest]

Is it Death of the Ego (for want of a better word) that you long for?

 

As far as death of the BODY--

I 'died' in 2003 (close enough anyway).

 

For 3 days 2 deceased relatives (that I had seen no photos of before then)

--waited patiently for me near my death bed.

 

I saw them through the wall--or my eyelids--only while awake (they never seemed

to be around in my dreams).

 

I saw them through a wall in the house--though it was rainy and cold outside

---they were surrounded by warm natural beauty.

 

I often thought that 'death has to be easier than this LIFE!'.

But, like others here ---I know we are here for a short while---and for a

purpose.

 

 

The fun is trying to figure out what that purpose IS!

 

Life and Love to you!

 

:)

Stephen

 

-

iamwaitingmoon

Friday, December 18, 2009 11:26 AM

What is this death?

 

 

 

All~

This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others.

It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch.

I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it

usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major

breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about

the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling

out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't

anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I

don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but

that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would

guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does

this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like

what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one

time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat?

I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many

people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have

come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm

captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil

blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the

Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this

declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ?

 

*let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my

life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to

Kundalini.

 

Love and thank you.

~Danielle