Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 DearBeautifulDanielle:ComputerProblem;SpaceBarWon'tWork,ButPleaseReadAnyway! SinceAge3OBEIHaveWantedToDieBecauseThisLifeHasBeen " Foreign " ToMe,SoIunderstand WhatYouAreExperiencing.IAmNotSuicidalEither,IJustWantToLiveLifeCreatingOnlyGood Karma,LiveThroughTheKarmaICameIntoThisLifeToFace,AndForgiveWhenNecessaryBefore TheEndOfEachDay.IThinkKundalini,SinceItAmplifies,HasDugDeepIntoMySoul,WithThe ResultThatThePainOfLifeCircumstancesHasLeftScarsWithinMe,EvenAsIAmSureThatIHave Forgiven,AndThoseScarsHelpToDisentangleMeFromThe " Dance " OfEngagemantWithOthers SoThatICanSeeMoreClearlyNotOnlyMyOwnMotivationsAndIntentions,ButThoseOfOthers AsWell.TheEndResultOfAllOfThisIsThatIAmWearyOfTheDance,AndAsISaidInAnEarlier Post,WantToGetOffThe " StageOfLife " AndLeaveThe " MaskOfPersona " BehindAndReturnTo GodFromWhenceWeAllCame.ICanRememberTellingMyParentsAsAVeryYoungChildThat IWishedIHadNeverBeenBorn;(ThisWasAfterMyOBE).IHaveNeverFeltUnderstoodOrAccepted ByAnyone,BecauseByBeingTrueToMyExperienceOfLifeIHaveApparentlyAlienatedOther People,WhoCouldNotRelateToMe.ItHasBeenALonelyExistance,ButItIsOfTheUtmost ImportanceToMeToBeAuthenticAboutWhoIAmAndWhatIAmAbout. MyLoveToYouBeautifulDanielle,IHopeYourExperienceContinuesToDrawPeopleToYouAnd ThatYouDoNotHaveToExperienceTheAlienationI'veExperienced. Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 --- On Fri, 12/18/09, Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: DearDanielleAndAll:  InAdditionToEarlierPostINeedToClarifyWhatIMeanInRegardToBeingAuthenticAndBeing AlienatedFromOthers:  ItIsAMatterOfIntegrityToMeThatIBeTrueToWhoIAm,ButThatDoesNotMeanIHaveTo RevealEverythingAboutWhoIAmToEveryOne.ButGenerallySpeaking,IHaveBeenOpen AndHonestWithThoseClosestToMe,AndHaveFoundThemToBeVeryPuzzledByMe,AndAs ChrismHasSaid,TheyRevealByTheirResponsesThatTheyCan'tRelateOrDon'tWantTo RelateToWhereIam.AsAResult,IHaveFocusedOnRelatingToThemAndWhatIsImportantTo TheirLives;ieBecomingALayCounselorFor8HoursAWeekAndAWomensSupportGroup FacilitatorAtMyFormerChurch(After2yearsTraining).ButIHaveAlwaysFeltEitherUnknown OrUnaccepted.  AnyCommentsBothNegativeAndPositiveAreWelcome  Diane     Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen What is this death? Friday, December 18, 2009, 12:04 PM  DearBeautifulDaniel le:ComputerProbl em;SpaceBarWon' tWork,ButPleaseR eadAnyway!  SinceAge3OBEIHaveWa ntedToDieBecause ThisLifeHasBeen " Foreign " ToMe, SoIunderstand WhatYouAreExperienc ing.IAmNotSuicid alEither, IJustWantToLiveL ifeCreatingOnlyG ood Karma,LiveThroughTh eKarmaICameIntoT hisLifeToFace, AndForgiveWhenNe cessaryBefore TheEndOfEachDay. IThinkKundalini, SinceItAmplifies ,HasDugDeepIntoM ySoul,WithThe ResultThatThePainOf LifeCircumstance sHasLeftScarsWit hinMe,EvenAsIAmS ureThatIHave Forgiven,AndThoseSc arsHelpToDisenta ngleMeFromThe " Dance " OfEngagema ntWithOthers SoThatICanSeeMoreCl earlyNotOnlyMyOw nMotivationsAndI ntentions, ButThoseOfOthers AsWell.TheEndResult OfAllOfThisIsTha tIAmWearyOfTheDa nce,AndAsISaidIn AnEarlier Post,WantToGetOffTh e " StageOfLife " AndLeaveThe " MaskOfPersona " BehindAndReturnT o GodFromWhenceWeAllC ame.ICanRemember TellingMyParents AsAVeryYoungChil dThat IWishedIHadNeverBee nBorn;(ThisWasAf terMyOBE) .IHaveNeverFeltU nderstoodOrAccep ted ByAnyone,BecauseByB eingTrueToMyExpe rienceOfLifeIHav eApparentlyAlien atedOther People,WhoCouldNotR elateToMe. ItHasBeenALonely Existance, ButItIsOfTheUtmo st ImportanceToMeToBeA uthenticAboutWho IAmAndWhatIAmAbo ut.  MyLoveToYouBeautifu lDanielle, IHopeYourExperie nceContinuesToDr awPeopleToYouAnd ThatYouDoNotHaveToE xperienceTheAlie nationI'veExperi enced.  Diane  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Danielle, Your words evoke in me my own longing to connect with that greater whole, to go back Home. Back to the Unity which underlies all things. Peeling back the layers of illusion and time and separation. At times that urge to peel away the illusion has me purging my closets, giving away the ego adornments and identity accessories, and wanting to walk away from all of it so I can be closer to the Divine - as if God would be waiting for me only in an empty closet! Haha! In practice, though, I think the urge to merge with God, to die and join with the Divine, requires that I immerse myself more fully in life. To give, to serve, to observe, to bear witness, to notice, to celebrate, to appreciate, to revel and roll in the wonder which is Life - Life, which is God made manifest, shining at us in all things, winking at us in the mirror. You are peeling, peeling. So peel. Sing the Peeling Song. Dance the Peeling Dance! Immerse yourself in the peeling. Dive into the feelings of dying and letting go. Suspend your breath and feel the vibration of love hanging in the in-between. Open your mouth, inhale the waters, and know that that, too, is God smiling at you. And those radiant eyes in the mirror? That's God gazing back at you. Die to those eyes, die to those eyes, die to those eyes, and you will never die again. Peace, Shaz --- <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 There was talk here a few days ago about the water baptism. In a sense it could be seen as a type of cleansing, but the way I see it, the immersion in water is symbolic of death of our natural self or ego self. The coming back up out of the water represents being reborn, raised up as the new spiritually alive self in Christ. We are told in another verse to pick up our cross daily and follow Christ. This dying to our ego is an ongoing thing as long as we live in this world of duality. Also, our living our life each day in service to others is an ongoing thing. The ego self does not actually die, but I have found that as one grows stronger spiritually the ego also grows stronger. The frictions between the two keeps us ever growing and transforming as we learn to overcome the natutal beastly tendencies by summitting them to Spirit for purification. The baptism by fire of the Holy Spirit (Shakti) I see more as the purifying agent, which comes after the commitment to die to self and choosing to live one's life in service to others. Some moment when the stress of this world is strong, I long for the release by death so as to return home, but then the next moment I am grateful that I am still here having this chance to serve, grow, and evolve. Linda , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > All~ > This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. > It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. > I'm wondering about death. > Love and thank you. > ~Danielle > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dear Danielle, I always enjoy reading your posts and often feelings you are having resonate with things I have experienced or given great thought to. We are all your friends Danielle even if we are apart from you at this time. As I read this post I did so with tears running down my cheeks. They were hot tears that seemed to burn valleys down the sides of my face. The feelings you are having are feelings that cross my mind many times. I have tried to follow through more than once when times had been hard, but they were more like cries for help, for someone to lift me up from this earthly pain and take me to a place where I could rest & never feel pain again. As I have come to realise more and more that we are all connected as part of one whole, these feelings rear again. I see other peoples pain and unhappiness and realise it is also my pain and your pain, but as one person this earthly pain is overwhelming. Then like you, I see the beauty in nature and the taste of the seasonal vegetables which are giving my body the strength to see this winter through, and things feel a little better. Yes it is the deep yearning to meet and become part of the divine (whatever it may be). The feeling of finally coming home after a long, arduous, cold & lonely journey and to sit by the fire and be embraced by those who 'truly' know us. But we must trust in this higher being because if it was our time, Danielle, we would be told. I do hope your mind and heart can soon be rested, as I too pray for rest and also deeper understanding. Blessings, Iona x , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > All~ > This is a difficult topic, as it often leads to concern for others. > It's not really something I can chat about with my friends over lunch. > I'm wondering about death. I experience the " need " to die so often, and it usually is a pulling that is so difficult to describe. It comes after a major breaking, shattering away or unpeelling of a layer. My mind gets confused about the feeling and the longing type of feeling, as i already struggle with feeling out of place with talking up residence on this beautiful planet earth. I don't anticipate that it is my Danielle death, but honestly I cannot tell sometimes. I don't feel depressed or hopeless...the contrary, and have boughts of grief-but that's of healing and release. It's puzzling trying to discern such. I would guess it's what you have referred to as an ego death, but how frequently does this occur? Is this repeated over and over, and a newbirth experienced as like what has been so for me on a few occasions now? Or is this supposed to be a one time ordeal that leads to transformation, and I happen to be stuck on repeat? I'm at a place of disconnect from my prior dream teachers/guides and many people; I seldom recall any dreams; I have difficulty meditating; Kriyas have come and gone (with the exception of the whale calls few days ago); I'm captivated by natures beauty as always, and long to crawl under her soil blanket, or lounge upon the moon. It feels like I'm further than ever from the Divine, and yet have that oh so strong pulling to connect. What is this declination-this variance that leaves me this inbetween and pulling to " die " ? > > *let me reiterate that there are no concerns about me wanting to take my life...just trying to understand the rawness and pull of such in relation to Kundalini. > > Love and thank you. > ~Danielle > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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